Knight of the Phoenix acts 1 & 2
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
It's a black Trans Am!
Yes, that's right. Instead of working on the term paper for my capstone class (no, that would be too logical) I decided to write up a commentary/deconstruction of the pilot episode of Knight Rider, with screencaps.
Why? Well, I honestly forget what put me on the course of looking into this after all these years. It was one of those things where you are browsing the internet and one link leads to another and you just wind up somewhere. Knight Rider was, of course, one of my favorite shows when it originally aired. I am hardly unique in this - it was everybody's favorite when it originally aired. But, to be honest, I remembered almost nothing about it. Just that scene from the pilot where Michael is feeling up KITT for the first time and comments that KITT feels like baby skin. Not sure what made that stick out in my memory - maybe the total inaptness of it.
This won't be a cold viewing, but I'm not too far out from the cold viewing (about 2 weeks) and I remember a lot of the lol I experienced going through the series for the first time in, literally, 30 years. I got a lot of enjoyment out of watching this again, enough that I bought the DVDs to get clean copies. This will enable me to take pretty good screenshots I think.
So here we go, the pilot episode. This will be the first two acts only, basically because I ran out of time.
Knight of the Phoenix (I never get used to these bad puns)
Original air date: 09-26-1982
The opening sequence is a little different from later episodes. There is no voiceover and fewer sound effects. However, like all the openers, it contains an amazing amount of what I can only call car porn. Here is a small sample:
the hero of the show
the title card also focuses on the most important character
show us some leg, KITT!
sweep your gaze lovingly over the dash
this is like a centerfold layout
and this is like the money shot
I could cap this opener all day and not show you all the car porn in it. The camera makes love to the car. Oh, and there are a couple of people, too:
Check out that perm on Hasselhoff!
So once the opener and its car porn and awesome MIDI music is over, the episode begins!
We start out in Las Vegas, in a casino (where else?) with a pink band playing a jazzy cover of Proud Mary.
the foremothers of the Star Trek space hippies
A guy we'll never see after this act is rolling craps. I wish we could say the same for the lady in the fur coat next to him.
where's PETA when you need them?
A sinister-looking guy in the background tells his Rolex that "it's now or never." Not long after this we learn that his name is Wilson.
this is a habit that Michael will pick up very soon
The Rolex telepathically notifies a woman in purple with a skeletal face that she needs to make her move.
seriously, you could chop wood with her cheekbones
She heads into the back of the casino. This, in turn, prompts a young man with David Hasselhoff's hair and voice to talk to his lapel pin.
but he won't be David Hasselhoff until the second act
The lapel pin communicates that Something Is Going Down to a man in a maintenance uniform working on a light in a corridor, presumably upstairs in the hotel.
he, too, has a magic lapel pin
It is quickly established by a nice little contextual exchange (no exposition) that the two of them are police officers. The man in the maintenance uniform (Muntzy) soon observes Skull Lady walking by on her way through and informs his partner. Michael tells Muntzy to be careful, and Muntzy declares that he has ten years more experience than Michael does and is therefore immortal.
Skull Lady (whose name is Lonnie I believe) opens up a safe in the Craps Shooting Man's room and photographs whatever is inside using a cute little James Bond mini-camera. The documents, containing what looks like circuit board designs, are in a manila folder labeled CLASSIFIED, which makes it look as though this is some kind of international espionage kind of deal. She reports in to Wilson when she's finished using her own magic Rolex, and also reports that there is an electrician in the hallway, which alarms Wilson.
At this point, Craps Shooting Man (Atkins) has won a big stack of chips and decides to call it a night, and a sequence of events begins that confused me the first time around. Wilson seems to be part of Atkins' security detail, but he grabs the lady in the fur coat (Tanya) as she's going by and tells her to delay him. Then Wilson goes up to Michael and tells him to guard Atkins because he has that big stack of chips, and tells Lonnie (via Rolex) to get out of the room because Atkins is on his way up. He tells her to drive east out of town and he will meet up with her there. Because "east out of Las Vegas" is just one place and you can't miss it.
While I understand completely that Wilson is not acting in Atkins' best interests and is trying to rip him off, I really do not understand why Michael is involved in this. Is Michael undercover, pretending to be hired security? That's the only thing I can think of.
Muntzy follows Lonnie on her way out, which is a big mistake because she's watching for it. Michael and Tanya together convince Atkins to cash in his chips before going up to his room.
he wants to be David Hasselhoff so badly!
Lonnie exits the elevator followed about 10 feet behind by Muntzy, who is totally incognito in his maintenance uniform and doesn't stand out amongst the glitzy casino-goers at all. Nobody will notice that!
Actually, Wilson notices it easily, and informs a man outside with a gun to stop Muntzy, which the man does with a bullet to the chest. Michael runs out just in time to hold his partner as he dies. Tanya follows him. Everyone else buggers on out of there.
alas, poor Muntzy! I knew him, Horatio.
Michael decides to go after them, and Tanya says she's going with him. Michael does not question this decision of hers at all and they both jump into Michael's Trans Am and zoom off into the night, leaving Muntzy dead on the cold, cold ground.
KITT would think that gold trim is tasteless and tacky
Michael and Tanya have a conversation in the car, and it looks like I was right and Michael was hired as a bodyguard for Atkins and is undercover. Michael does another silly thing and explains to Tanya that he's a cop, thereby blowing his cover for no reason at all. Oops! He also reveals that this is about industrial espionage, because that always involves murder and police involvement, and not patent lawsuits or any kind of civil prosecution.
Meanwhile, in the only location that exists east of Las Vegas, Lonnie and Wilson and some random guy in what looks like a county sheriff's uniform meet up to pass over the camera. Michael then pulls up and prepares to arrest them all. Now he's calling it treason and saying they can face the death penalty. So this is economic espionage, maybe? That's not the same thing as industrial espionage.
Anyway, as anyone with half a working neuron could have guessed, Tanya is working with the spies. She turns on Michael and shoots him in the face. He falls across the hood of his car and gets blood all over the headlight. Before long, a helicopter appears carrying a man in a fedora.
I've always wished I could pull off this type of hat
"My god, we're too late," he says, a line that confuses me even now. Were they expecting this showdown in the desert? Were they following Michael, Tanya, Lonnie, or all of the above? Anyway, they find Michael nearly dead next to his faithful car and tote him off, not to the ER, but to a posh mansion. That's okay, though, because the mansion is as well-equipped as an ER. We never learn the fate of Michael's car.
The second act opens with Michael, in bed, wrapped up in bandages, monitored by equipment and tended by a nurse.
I like the detail of the tracheotomy, and it's a pity the trache scar is never visible in later episodes
In a minor exposition dump, we are informed that the bullet pierced Michael's forehead, reflected off the plate in his head and then ricocheted out his face. "We'll never know what he looked like," says the doctor, unaware that photography existed in 1982 and that Michael is surely in his mom's family album. We also learn that the guy in the fedora (Wilton Knight) is dying.
Later, they cut the bandages off Michael's face, revealing David Hasselhoff.
congratulations! it's a boy!
Michael is offered a mirror and checks himself out, and declares that it's not him. That is the extent of his reaction to his radical facelift. The other guys in the room, Wilton Knight and Devon Miles (who is wearing way too much eye makeup in this episode) comment that this new face gives Michael a second chance on life. Wilton calls him handsome, and then he and Devon go out on the balcony to observe a mysterious warehouse with guys in white jumpsuits running in and out. They talk about how Michael reminds them both of Wilton when he was young. Only next season will we learn how accurate that observation is.
Wilton wants to know when he can see "it." Devon happily informs him that "it" could be ready within a month.
Time passes, and Michael is out of bed and getting back into shape. Wilton likes to watch Michael through binoculars as he runs around a track, like a creepy uncle. In another conversation with Devon, Wilton drops some more exposition, that "Michael Long" is legally dead, on account of they swiped a body from a medical school for the cops to find. Because cops would not notice that a dead body that is supposedly of another cop doesn't look like their buddy, the coroner would not notice that the body that doesn't look like the dead cop has been prepped for use as a medical school cadaver, and the medical school will not notice the loss of a valuable cadaver. Ahhh, 80s TV show logic, how I love you.
Wilton also declares that he wants a useful legacy, and doesn't just want to leave behind money. That segues into "the Knight 2000" and when will it be ready. Devon says very soon. So I guess it's been a month? Wilton wants the schedule advanced so that it's ready within 48 hours, because he's basically dying and wants to see it before he croaks. He still looks pretty hale in this scene, though. He must have great hospice care.
Devon then leaves and Michael runs up, wherein he and Wilton have a conversation and Wilton tries to sell him on working with him. Michael resists - his last partner is dead and from now on he wants to work alone.
There was evening and there was morning, and the mysterious warehouse still has guys in white jumpsuits running in and out. Michael notice this and becomes intrigued. He goes into the warehouse, which is totally dark except for a single spotlight, so naturally he goes to stand in the spotlight.
no explanation for how the guys in white jumpsuits work under these conditions
He turns around and a creepy red glowing light flashes on, then starts to track back and forth.
and a thousand icons were born
It's making a funny whoo-whooing sound, and then an engine comes on and lights come up, and it's apparent that it's a car of some kind.
something you do not ever want to see a in dark alley
It races toward Michael and stops about two feet from his knees, at which point Wilton turns on the light and tells Devon to stop dicking around with the multi-million-dollar supercar. Devon gets out of the car and is all pissy because Michael walked into the warehouse without being invited, but Wilton tells him to calm down and that it's time for some exposition.
Honestly, this is a great scene. It's the first introduction of KITT, and it shows how sinister he can appear. The sound of the scanner is a little nonstandard compared with how it is later, but the dubbed-in engine noise is the same high-pitched, high-tech whirr that it always is later, and nothing at all like the low muscle-car growl you'd expect from a Trans Am.
Michael declares that he just wants to get on with his life, and is upbraided by Devon for ingratitude. Devon asks if he doesn't want revenge, and Michael declares that revenge is out of reach because these criminals operate above the law. Wilton pish-poshes, but Michael announces that he's leaving and he's taking his car with him. So apparently he hasn't noticed that this car has a scanner bar, is missing that gold stripe, and sounds like a jet engine. Wilton tells Devon to prepare the car for Michael and instruct him on it so that it will be safe to drive and then totters off to bed.
Devon is quite ticked that Michael blew off Wilton like that, and tells him off yet again for ingratitude. Michael is unrepentant and they quickly turn to a discussion about the car, which Michael continues to insist is his car, against all evidence and common sense. It's here that he makes the "baby skin" comment that lingered with me from my youth. :D
copping a feel on an innocent car! for shame!
Devon assures him that it is a different car, and proves it by bashing KITT on the hood with a hammer. Of course, this does nothing, and Devon explains that it's not paint on the car, but a molecular finish bonded to a "new substance." The "new substance" is never explained, ever - we know only that it's not metal and not fiberglass, which leaves open a lot of possibilities. To me, it sounded kind of like Gorilla Glass, and I was highly pleased by this connection.
Michael's belt buckle gave me many lols throughout the first season
So once Michael is convinced that this is a special car, they hop in to go for a drive. Michael looks around and comments that the dash "looks like Darth Vader's bathroom."
the Dark Lord's urinal is right behind the gearshift
Devon explains that this is the world's fastest, strongest, greatest, most awesome and one-of-a-kind car. Except for KARR, but we're not thinking about him just now. He extols KITT's virtues for a while, including the car's inability to be involved in any kind of collision unless explicitly ordered to do so, and sort of tries to clue Michael in that the car is able to think. That goes kind of over Michael's head, he hits the gas, and the car goes flying through the warehouse wall.
oops, I didn't realize that wall was there
It turns out that KITT has to be switched on before he'll do any of that collision-avoidance stuff, and Devon switches him on here. So practically the first thing he hears Michael say is, "I'll never trust anybody again." Awwww!
They go zooming off, and we get a little car porn that's unfortunately hard to cap because of motion blur. Michael seems pleased with the car's speed and power, and Devon is just tickled pink.
I know a se-cret!
Michael decides to test the collision-avoidance by crawling up a semi's ass. KITT takes control, accelerates to 145 mph, and swings around the semi.
auto cruise: for drivers who are dumb
This is less pleasing to Michael; he doesn't like having control taken away from him. Devon explains that the car's microprocessor determined that Michael was acting contrary to his best interests and therefore intervened. I'm not sure we ever again see KITT stage an intervention. Usually Michael does something contrary to his best interests and KITT just rolls with it. Devon also speculates that KITT chose to go around the truck rather than just slow down because "it was showing off for you." Note that at this stage of the game, for Devon, KITT is still an "it." He reassures Michael that "it" wouldn't harm Michael because "it" is programmed to preserve human life, and specifically Michael's life.
They return to the mansion where Wilton is now on death's door.
this is how everyone should die, but only old rich white men can afford it
Wilton tries once more to get Michael to buy into his plan to have a Lone Ranger run around the West doing good deeds for all. "One man can make a difference," he says, revealing a lot about early 80's gender stereotypes. Michael is still iffy, mainly because he's settled into PTSD about his near-death experience and he has confidence issues as a result. Wilton tells him to draw strength from his PTSD instead, because it's just that easy. If only all therapists knew this simple answer!
your hate has made you powerful, Michael
Wilton then kicks the bucket, Devon cries, and Michael looks disturbed.
An unspecified amount of time later (the same day? the next morning?) Michael decides to clear out. He heads to the warehouse to collect KITT and pries some information out of Devon about where Tanya and her group are now. "A place called Silicon Valley," says Devon, which is hilarious today, but in 1982 Silicon Valley was actually not very well known and the line made sense. Devon doesn't want him to go and threatens to take away the car, but Michael says he'll just get another car so Devon caves. We also learn here that KITT is registered in Michael's name, or rather his new name of Michael Knight. I wonder what KITT thinks of that. Maybe he gets off on it.
did anyone mention to the State of California that KITT is valued at millions before they assessed $175.00 in taxes? also, Michael has one of those newfangled 6-digit ZIP codes
Devon then delivers a wallet full of new ID cards and credit cards to Michael; an entirely new identity has been created for him, and he now carries Wilton's last name. This is creepy, like a nonconsensual adoption or something.
how appropriate is this attire for California in September?
thousands of bunnies were tortured to test that eyeliner
Michael, in his cute red turtleneck and huge lolriffic belt buckle, hops into KITT and prepares to take off. Devon tries to stop him and tell him a little more about the car, but Michael declares that he learns by doing and blows this off. So Devon lets him take KITT without an employment contract or even a promise to come back with the car at some point. At this point, there is no reason to think that Michael feels any particular attachment to Devon or Wilton's organization in the slightest. The act ends with Devon appealing to Wilton in heaven.
TO BE CONTINUED ...