No Big Thing
No Big Thing
Original Air Date: 11-12-1982
The teaser for this episode contains a lot of cars who aren't KITT jumping things, and promises an exciting car chase! It's been a while since we had an exciting car chase, and by "a while" I mean "one entire episode." That's far too long! So this ep is already looking awesome and it hasn't even started yet.
We begin with Devon driving a car that isn't KITT and taking in a little Mozart (an imho rather bloodless performance of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik).
a nice car, but it isn't KITT.
He soon cruises into a small town.
I wonder what Rotary International thinks about being on this sign
Not long after, he is pulled over by the local cops for running a well-hidden stop sign. The cops think that that Devon's fancy car means that he will be good for a fat fine, but Devon becomes indignant rather than rolling over so one of the cops breaks his taillight to tack on another charge.
my question is, why isn't every Foundation vehicle covered in MBS?
Devon becomes even more indignant, and threatens to call his lawyer. The cops arrest him and haul him to jail for essentially nothing.
Elsewhere, Michael and KITT are on the move.
I don't have to justify why I put this cap here
or this one
They are on their way back to the Foundation. KITT alerts Michael that he's going to have to make a "pit stop" soon, which Michael initially interprets as a joke but KITT means it literally: he's almost out of fuel.
low on fuel, but the mass flow is still looking good
Michael is inclined to blame Bonnie for not giving KITT sufficient fuel, but KITT defends her by pointing out that Michael made a 200-mile detour for some lady they met. No specifics are given for what this detour was about, and I think we are meant to infer that it involved Michael having sex. Regardless, Michael = still not taking responsibility for his actions.
They pull into a service station to gas up, and KITT reminds Michael that he can run on any kind of combustible fluid, because Michael would otherwise forget and pour a Coke into the tank I guess.
fun fact: KITT is actually stationary, and it's the universe that moves around him
the owner of this place is dressed like a stereotypical small town hick, and therefore he is corrupt and a liar
The service station's owner decides to sell Michael a new tire and some hoses. He gets his wife to pass him an icepick, which he tries to jab into KITT's tire while Michael is filling KITT's tank (with the fuel fill located, oddly, in the back and not under the fuel cap clearly visible on the left quarter panel in many prior shots, and indeed visible again when they pull out of the station about a minute later). KITT tries to warn the guy not to try it, but it's too late.
steel-belted radials: 1, icepick: 0
He then tries to break something unspecified under KITT but KITT shakes him off, by literally rocking on his shocks and shaking him off. This freaks the dude enough that he gives Michael the gas for free just to get the possessed demonic vehicle off his property.
watching KITT interact with mundanes never gets old
Michael checks with KITT to verify no damage was done, to which KITT is incredulous ... as if. They continue on their way.
Meanwhile, Devon is in jail.
Brits behind bars
And that's about all there is to that.
Later, Michael and KITT are talking, because they've been on the road for forever and have nobody but one another.
an entire episode of nothing but KITT cruising through scenic countryside while he and Michael chat would be OK by me
Michael's not looking too bad himself
What they're talking is football: Michael has programmed KITT with information on football teams and now KITT has an opinion on who is going to win an assortment of games. Michael doesn't agree with all his predictions. Bonnie calls.
the only non-goober member of this team today
She bears the news that Devon is in jail, which Michael finds hard to believe at first, and simultaneously hilarious. A nice little contextual exchange also reveals what Devon was doing off Foundation grounds in the first place: he was going to meet a reporter named Reston. By a neat coincidence, Lyndhurst Flats is a little over 400 miles ahead on Michael and KITT's current route, which means that this was a very, very long road trip indeed.
Michael laughs a lot in this episode, and it looks good on him
That evening, the Lyndhurst Flats police bring in none other than Frank Reston. He's drunk.
you know this because drunk people automatically dishevel themselves
They toss him into the cell with Devon, who introduces himself (with difficulty, because: drunk). It is revealed that Frank wrote a letter to Devon about an investigation, and it was the letter that prompted Devon to haul all the way out to BFE California. However, they are not able to exchange much information, because: drunk.
One of the cops, Saunders, calls their sergeant, Wallace, who is in another office in Sinclair, to report that Frank is in the can for drunk & disorderly. It is now revealed that Frank has been trying to nail them for something for three and a half years. Wallace tells Saunders to bring Frank to Sinclair, for a "long talk." Saunders obliges, and as he is removed from the cell Frank sortakinda drops that his investigation was regarding this very police department and the local Judge Paxton. Devon is left behind.
The next morning, Michael and KITT arrive in town.
this is also a really good look for Michael
KITT reminds Michael that they are due in Phoenix at 5 PM. So, holy cow, epic road trip (although not as epic as some later ones). Michael is still just ate up with the idea of bailing out Devon.
yes, they are both quite pretty today
Meanwhile, at the Sinclair County Courthouse, Wallace and Saunders report to Judge Paxton that Frank Reston somehow managed to die on them last night.
this week's face of evil
Paxton is quite upset; this will bring investigators down from everywhere! Wallace promises that they can make it look like an accident and nobody will even know Frank was in custody. The only witness that Frank was ever arrested is Devon. Paxton tells the two stooges to ensure that Devon tells nobody, at least until this blows over.
Michael and KITT roll up to the police station, and Michael goes in, still suffering from a terminal case of the giggles. There he runs into Carol Reston, Frank's ex-wife.
Michael standing with his hands on his hips is what really makes this frame
She wants to know where Frank is and seems to be almost trying to file a missing person's report, but all Wallace will tell her is that there is no arrest record. He sends her on her way, telling her to go home and wait and Frank will surely turn up. Then it's Michael's turn. Wallace tells him that Devon is no longer there, but has been transferred to Sinclair. He's quite unfriendly about it. Suddenly it doesn't seem so funny to Michael anymore.
Michael accosts Carol on his way out and asks her for assistance, since he is new in town and doesn't know his way around, and they seem to have a similar problem. She agrees to help him, and he offers her a ride to Sinclair to look for Devon, and maybe also Frank. They hop into KITT, and on the road Michael realizes that Carol Reston must be related to the Reston that Bonnie told him Devon was planning to meet.
I like how KITT's fog lamps look kind of like an evil grin
They arrive at the jail in Sinclair, and are told that neither Frank Reston nor Devon Miles is present. Michael is prepared to demand answers, but Carol pulls him away and makes him leave.
Outside, she explains that trying to go through normal channels or using logic is pointless here, because Judge Paxton runs the county and can disappear people at will. Michael is flabbergasted - Devon was arrested for a traffic violation.
Meanwhile, we learn where Devon is, and that he's just been deloused. The act ends.
nobody will notice him here!
The next act opens in Paxton's office. Wallace reports to Judge Paxton that somebody was in town asking about Devon. Paxton is not surprised. He's just learned that Devon is the executive director of FLAG. OOPS!
"this is one fine mess you've gotten us into." seriously, he says that
Paxton thinks that just stowing Devon at the prison for a while isn't going to work anymore. He wants Devon "out of the way, for good." Meanwhile, the officer at the Sinclair jail calls to tell Wallace that Michael and Carol stopped by, and are on their way back to Lyndhurst Flats.
Wallace and Saunders hop into their squad car and get on the radio to ask a trucker for assistance in pasting Michael and KITT. Because that's worked so well in the past.
Michael and Carol chat a bit in the car about how local law enforcement seems a little corrupt. They are soon spotted by the trucker, who is coming the other way and gets into their lane (oncoming). KITT notices and alerts Michael, which surprises Carol, and Michael promises to explain his talking car later. KITT quickly tells Michael to stop and put the car into reverse, which works. It turns out that KITT's reverse is faster than most cars' forward gear.
even in reverse, KITT pwns j00
KITT then experiences a strange little attack of dementia and asks why Michael didn't just jump over the semi. This is a shared mental aberration, because Michael doesn't say "cos you told me to go into reverse, duh" but instead explains that this is part of his cunning plan to find out who is responsible for this murder attempt.
When they get close to the cop car driven by Wallace, they swerve off the road and let hilarity ensue.
what was their plan for if KITT had still been in between them?
Michael and Carol head to Carol's place to chat some more. She makes him a nice meatloaf dinner.
that's a rather tender subject
Carol explain how the county corruption system works, and that Frank knew all about it and that was the only thing keeping him alive. She and Frank had a history of being hotshot reporters for a big paper in Texas. Then alcohol came between them, and they landed in Podunk Flats chasing a story about Paxton's corruption getting people killed, and Frank has been trying for three years but hasn't been able to get the proof he needs to publish a story.
Michael can almost put his finger on the connection between Devon's disappearance and Frank's, but not quite. He's fairly sure that Paxton wouldn't have them killed, because if that was a good option he would have had Frank killed a long time ago. Carol now thinks of the county correctional facility as a possibility for were they might be stashed. Michael decides to go in unannounced.
Meanwhile, in prison, a prisoner of color is just walking around the hallways with the keys. He enters a cell, which contains Devon and some other white dude named Pink (for reals). Pink calls him (I believe) Shep.
Devon just wants his beauty sleep
Shep plans to escape in the morning using the keys he's nicked, and when he realizes that Devon is present and has heard him announce this plan, he decides that Devon is coming along, too, so that he won't squeal. Devon only wants his day in court, and gives his solemn word that he won't squeal. Shep is having none of it and actually threatens to kill Devon if he doesn't come along, so Devon caves and asks for the plan.
The plan turns out to be lamesauce. Devon promises to come up with a better one, and his street cred is that he broke out of two German prison camps during WWII. Since he is the veteran escaper (literally), he will craft the plan. The act ends.
The final act begins the next morning, as Michael and Carol drive toward the prison. Carol now wants some info on Michael's talking car, so Michael introduces them. KITT begins to describe all of his features, but Michael warns him that he only has forty minutes so KITT has to abbreviate a bit.
At the prison, Devon and his new buddies are having breakfast. He prompts Pink, who starts a food fight, which quickly devolves into a real fight. As the guards step in and the other prisoners gather 'round, Devon and his crew duck out the back.
finally, an ethnically-diverse group of individuals, and they are hardened criminals
They run to the wall and proceed to climb it.
wtf, I'm seriously meant to accept that this is going to keep people in?
They are almost completely over the wall when they are spotted. The alarm is raised. Outside the wall, Devon and his crew grab the truck that belongs to the keys Shep stole, and they zoom away.
A dude at the prison calls Wallace and must report that Devon has escaped.
Michael turns up at the prison gate just as all of this is going down. He asks to see the warden, and by claiming to have a message from Judge Paxton and turning on the charm, he gets into the facility.
gaze upon my Belt Buckle of Justice and let me pass
Devon and his buddies are being chased.
serious business
They leave the road in an effort to evade the cops, and this fails. Before long they run into an obstruction in the little track they are following. Devon's solution is to pretend he's driving KITT.
convenient how that ramp was there, innit?
The cops chasing them are less brave and Devon and his crew leave them behind.
Inside the prison, someone has unwisely left Michael alone with a file cabinet to riffle.
Michael gets into someone's pants files
He finds Devon's file and reports in to KITT that Devon is at the prison, but he's caught in the file room by Wallace. Wallace tells him that Devon just broke out, which Michael finds very hard to believe, but Wallace assures him that it's true. Wallace then takes Michael into custody, and Michael whispers for help on his still-open comlink. KITT rolls immediately into action.
KITT does not fuck around
Carol, who is still hanging out in the car, hears all of this, and is dragged along by KITT on the Michael-rescue mission.
KITT arrives at the prison. The door is closed when he gets there, so he makes his own.
KITT: not fucking around since 1982
Wallace marches Michael at gunpoint out into the yard, where he takes a call on his walkie-talkie. It's Saunders, reporting that Pink and Shep have been captured (how? we aren't told) but that Devon has escaped on foot into a citrus grove. Wallace orders Saunders to find Devon and shoot to kill.
KITT comes zooming up, and just the fact that he's driverless is apparently stunning enough to Wallace that Michael is able to get the drop on him and disarm him. Michael puts Carol into the back seat and gives her the gun, and puts Wallace in the front passenger seat where she can shoot him if necessary. The other guards around the yard are a little slow on the uptake, but finally open fire on Michael. It's too late; Michael is in KITT a moment later and invulnerable to mere gunfire.
KITT is my illness
They leave through the new KITT door in the gate.
Wallace gives Michael directions to the citrus grove with almost no prompting, and then under threat from Carol he gets on the radio and orders his people to not shoot to kill after all.
Devon plays hide-and-seek amongst the citrus trees. Let me tell you, as someone who grows citrus trees, those things have some wicked-ass thorns. Good show on not getting cut up, guys! KITT arrives at the grove and locates Devon right away, so Michael hits the eject button and boots Wallace out of the car. Fortunately Wallace lands in a marshy pond and probably only breaks both his legs instead of his neck.
KITT pulls up alongside where Devon is hiding in the grove, and Devon has never in his life been happier to see the multimillion-dollar bulletproof supercar he helped build.
actually, this would look good to anyone
They pull out past the cops, who unload about twenty rounds into KITT. This has as much effect as you'd expect. The cops all jump into their cars to give chase.
Michael has a little trouble finding the way out of the grove, and the cops entertain delusions that they are actually going to catch them. However, KITT shows them the error of their ways.
you can see KITT standing back there, watching this clusterfuck-in-progress, and he's laughing
I don't think anyone is killed in this crash, even though they should have been.
Michael turns around to run for the county line. Saunders, who was in one of the clusterfucked cars, radios to the trucker from earlier, requesting assistance in stopping KITT in any way possible. The trucker enlists the aid of another dude driving a pickup truck with a camper; this guy parks on the bridge (the only bridge out of the county?) to block it. He raises the hood to pretend like he's having engine trouble.
Michael and company arrive at the bridge, and the trucker comes in behind them, intending to trap and crush them between his truck and the other guy's pickup. Michael stops behind the pickup, but KITT scans the vehicle and announces that there's nothing wrong with it. IT'S A TRAP! With the semi coming in fast from behind, Michael punches the gas and deals with this the only way he can.
oh my
there's something weirdly sexual about this
KITT in his natural habitat
definitely been working on the landing
Needless to say, they escape.
The next day, in the courthouse, Judge Paxton walks into his office to discover Devon Miles sitting in his chair. Devon informs Paxton that they've brought in the state police. All of Paxton's lackeys have been rounded up, and they've already turned state's witness. Paxton pulls a gun on Devon, intending to make his escape, but Devon just punches him in the face and takes the gun away.
The epilogue finds Devon and Michael chatting as KITT drives them out of Sinclair County.
the zen of KITT is best when shared
Michael waxes philosophical, and Devon briefly mourns Frank Reston. KITT lips off a little to Devon, just because he can, and that is the end.
The only woman of note in this episode is Carol Reston (Bonnie appears for just one brief plot-advancing scene). She is a study in popular assumptions about how women are supposed to behave.
It was interesting to me that she describes herself and Frank as a "team" of reporters, clearly identifying herself as a reporter as well. But it's Frank who chooses the direction of her life. He's the one who wants the story on Paxton et. al. and brought them to Lyndhurst Flats in the first place. He's the one who's been chasing this story for three and a half years. She's followed him to this backwater that she obviously hates and stays there with him, keeping on top of his business so closely that she knows he's gone missing within a couple of hours, even though they are divorced. It's implied (but not stated) that it was Frank's alcoholism that led to their breakup, so he's even responsible for that.
Why is she still there? If she is a reporter with, apparently, a pretty good resume, why doesn't she leave and go somewhere she likes better? She has a nice house, so even though we are not told what she does for a living, she probably has some kind of income and at least should have some equity in the place. She ought to sell it and take her bundle and head to Phoenix.
Why doesn't she? The only thing I can come up with is that she is living out the tiresome ideal that a "good woman" will stick by her man, even when he is tilting at windmills and drinking himself to sleep every night. These types of tropes are a marginally more subtle form of misogyny than what we saw in the pilot episode, because it is superficially complimentary. She's standing by her man! Just like the song advises! She is patient and kind and cares about him even after the divorce! But, of course, these kinds of "compliments" only obtain if she completely subsumes her own life in his, and subordinates her desires to Frank's.
Let's talk about Devon a moment, since he is this week's damsel in distress. Except that he's not really in distress and he almost manages to rescue himself. The contrast between Devon's fussiness and his secret badassitude is played for laughs, but it's funny how that contrast never appears when the damsel in distress is actually a damsel.
Finally, speaking of subordinates, I really enjoy KITT in this episode. He and Michael have achieved a certain amount of chemistry here, mainly, I think, because Michael has finally settled down and accepted the personality installed into his badass car. The traveling montage at the beginning leaves a good impression behind, and my only regret is that it isn't longer. KITT's personality is not significantly upgraded here, but the way Michael treats him definitely has been.
KITT's loyalty is obviously beyond question, but in case anyone were inclined to question it we are given a nice demonstration when Michael gets caught in the prison file room. One tiny whisper to KITT brings him running at top speed. KITT stops for nothing, and I more than half-expected him to run Wallace over. That doesn't happen, because KITT is in general a gentle AI, but he's behaved with violence to reach Michael in the past and he will again in the future.
Of course, this does (and should) stand in comparison with the relationship between Carol and Frank Reston. KITT fully subordinates himself to Michael; Carol (almost) fully subordinates herself to Frank. When Michael calls, KITT comes running. Frank doesn't even have to call; Carol starts looking for him within hours of his disappearance. And, there near the end, Carol and KITT are alone together, passively awaiting news from Michael.
One wonders what they talked about before Michael called in.