Christmas Interruptus (Lois & Clark, PG-13)
Title: Christmas Interruptus
Fandom: Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4608
Summary: Lois and Clark go to great ends to get a private moment or two. A little bit AU (set Christmas, S3). Frogs broke my heart and I demand retroactive recompense in the form of this story!
Acknowledgements: This story would not be half of what resulted, were it not for the dedicated beta services of htbthomas. I also credit the boundless enthusiasm of bistyboo1974 who founded 12days_of_clois for which this and many other fics were written. Go, go to 12days_of_clois and check them out! This story is dedicated to the FoLC listserv who started me on internet fandom more than ten years ago.
The Office Party
The newsroom staff was full of good cheer. Today was the last day of work before Christmas. The paper was off to press and everyone felt a little bit giddy. A karaoke machine was set up near the elevator and everyone was taking turns singing along with their favourite holiday tunes.
If this Christmas cheer was augmented by a good deal of Christmas liquor being poured surreptitiously into coffee mugs all around, well, no one was complaining. Especially not Perry White, who, after two shots of bourbon, had been coaxed into belting out Blue Christmas in honour of The King. As the last note died away, Perry opened his eyes to acknowledge the enthusiastic cheers of his staffers.
"Where's Lois?" he demanded. "She should take a turn at the mike, the way she sings."
People looked around but there was no sign of Lois Lane or Clark Kent. Jimmy scratched his head in confusion. "I don't know where they went! They were here just a few minutes ago."
"Tarnation, Jimmy, they're as slippery as a pair of greased pigs. Go find them. They're probably back at work on another story about Intergang or something. Tell them to knock off the work ethic and knock back a bit of Christmas cheer." Obviously disgruntled, Perry handed off the karaoke mike to Cat Grant who soon launched into an over-the-top version of "Santa Baby" directed at hapless George from Travel.
Jimmy nodded nervously and set off on his search. Lois and Clark had better turn up soon or Perry might just turn into a grinch.
***
"I thought we were never going to be alone," Lois moaned as she plastered herself against Clark. Nervously, her fiancé glanced over his glasses at the door to the conference room, using his x-ray vision to ascertain that the lock was set as well as the blinds pulled down. That confirmed, he looked back down at the woman in his arms and smiled.
"You know what they say?"
Lois cocked an eyebrow. "No. No, I don't. What is it, 'misery loves company', 'three's a crowd'? Because I am sick and tired of having to sneak around to spend five minutes alone with my fiancé. Between my folks, your folks, Perry, Jimmy and everyone else on staff, it feels as if we're never out from under someone's eyes." She ran one finger up Clark's tie, reaching in to loosen the knot. "Now we're finally away from prying eyes and I'm going to take advantage of it… and you."
Clark grinned and slid a hand up her back. "They say that the holidays are the time for friends and family. But if you're not feeling like sharing, I guess I'll put up with it."
Lois leaned in for a kiss. "That's the spirit."
Their lips met and time was forgotten as they focused on each other. Lois finished unknotting Clark's tie, then slipped her fingers into the neck of his shirt, rubbing over his collarbone before she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck to bury her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Clark was just as assiduous in his attentions, lifting the back of her white blouse out of her waistband, and putting one warm hand firmly at the small of her back while the other began to work its way around to the front.
Lois groaned in pleasure at his touch. It seemed like forever since they'd been together, though in truth she knew it wasn't that long. But with her parents descending upon them, here in Metropolis, along with Clark's folks, complicated by the strange virus that had nearly felled Clark and the brief return of Intergang, their private time had disappeared. And Lois got cranky enough having to share the man she loved, in his Superman guise, with the rest of the world. Having to share Clark on nearly a fulltime basis with coworkers, friends and family, as they'd been doing for the past week? It got beyond bearing.
Clark cleared his throat and Lois stopped concentrating on the taste of his skin beneath her lips. She looked up with burning resentment. "You're not about to tell me the world needs rescuing again, are you?"
Clark shrugged awkwardly. "Um, no."
Lois narrowed her eyes and continued. "You're not going to tell me that Intergang's returned again?"
He smiled endearingly but his hands had left her body and were rebuttoning his shirt. "Um, no."
"Then what is it?" Lois demanded, angrily.
"Jimmy's looking for us. He's canvassed the copy room, Perry's office, the supply closet and the broom closet. I can only guess he's going to come here next."
Lois backed away with a groan. "I do not believe this! What do we have to do to get a moment alone?"
Clark reknotted his tie as she tucked her blouse back into the waistband and tidied her garments. "Not try to sneak off in the middle of the big office Christmas party?"
Lois snorted disdainfully. "Wrong answer. We need to be better at sneaking off. Way off."
Clark shrugged again, regretfully, as he stepped over to the door, releasing the lock and opening it in Jimmy Olsen's face. The younger man stared slack-jawed at the open door, then looked up into Clark's face. "CK!" he said, cheerfully. "What've you guys been doing? Researching more on the crime wave? Chief's been looking for you."
"I expected as much," Clark said, looking over Jimmy's shoulder at the festive gathering. Perry was standing near the karaoke machine and when he spotted Clark, began gesturing wildly.
"Clark! Come on down and bring Lois if you can find her. I've got a song for her to sing!"
Lois harrumphed as she left the conference room. Clark's eyes followed her swaying form regretfully as she mounted the makeshift stage with a pasted-on smile. He didn't have to feign enjoyment as she sang "Winter Wonderland", but he did have to admit that he felt a bit wistful, himself, when she crooned
Later on, we'll conspire,
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
the plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland.
Crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall, Clark vowed to do everything he could to give Lois her Christmas wish. And himself his own, too.
***
The Nutcracker
"Clark, what are we doing here?" Lois had pitched her voice very low, trusting on her fiancé's super-hearing to pick up her question. They walked along, slowly, in a line that led into one of Metropolis's edgier theatres and she continued her hissed interrogation as her heels slowly clacked along the pavement. "Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought this was what we should do on our one free night before Christmas?"
Unfortunately, Clark couldn't do the same as Lois if he wanted his answer to be heard. He paused for a moment in the slow-moving line, ducked his head close against hers for a moment and whispered into her ear. "Our moms. Remember?"
"Oh, yes, I remember. I remember that you said it would be just dinner. I remember that you said we could duck out any time. I remember that you said it would just be one little bit of our evening. And look! Here we are, joining them at the theatre instead of having a romantic evening, together!" Lois pasted a showy smile on her face as her mother turned around in the line ahead of them and twiddled her fingers at her eldest daughter.
"Don't fall behind, Lois! You don't want to get lost in the crowd."
"Don't worry, Mom. We're right here, aren't we, Clark?" Lois elbowed him in a way that a normal man would have found vicious. Clark winced just for show and nodded weak confirmation of her words.
"I'm so doomed, aren't I?" Clark asked as they followed their parents into the theatre.
"Yes, you are, Clark. We finally get away from the office party before Perry can start a sing-along to "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and then you have to accept your mother's invitation to join our parents for dinner out and a performance of 'The Nutcracker.'" Lois let her rant get a bit louder as the crowd swelled around them.
Clark put his free hand over hers that rested on the arm of his coat. "It was my mom and your mom. I couldn't say no."
Lois sent him a scathing look as they entered the theatre. "It wouldn't have stopped me. They're going to be here for hours. All four of them. Think what we could do instead."
Clark sighed regretfully. "I am, Lois, I am. But. . . ."
She saw his pain and regretted her harsh tones. Patting his hand, Lois leaned her head against his shoulder. "It's okay. I understand. And, hey! It's The Nutcracker! I always loved that as a little girl."
Clark cleared his throat uncomfortably as Lois dreamily reminisced. "We'd go to performances of the Nutcracker, every Christmas after Lucy was old enough to sit through a show, right up until the time I was fifteen. Those performances were always the highlight of my holidays, even when Mom and Dad were fighting all the rest of Christmas."
Lois stopped talking as they reached their seats. Martha and Jonathan slipped in first, followed by a bickering Sam and Ellen. Clark politely indicated that she precede him so he could have the aisle seat "in case of emergencies". Lois shed her coat and settled into the seat, holding hands with Clark.
When the lights dimmed and the overture began, Lois smiled wickedly and shed one of her shoes. Clark jumped, slightly, as her stocking-clad foot rubbed against his trouser-clad leg. "Lois!" he managed to squeak out, quietly.
She giggled. "Shh, Clark. Can't you see the show's starting?" Her toes continued their seductive rub, up and down, against his calf.
"Lois, now is not the time!"
"Poo! Now hush, I want to watch the ballet." She leaned her head against his shoulder and turned her eyes dutifully towards the stage, all the while rubbing her foot against Clark's leg.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That's it, Lois. There's something about this show that I think my mom didn't tell you."
"What?"
The stage lights brightened and the first group of dancers appeared on the stage. Lois' foot dropped away from Clark's calf and he felt her hand escape his as she gasped. The heavy tread of the dancers covered her outburst from the rest of the audience, but he could hear her almost-voiceless whisper.
"A Drag Nutcracker? Clark?"
He picked up her flaccid hand and squeezed it, reassuringly. Lois sat there, slack-jawed, as a burly Clara capered on the stage. Clark felt sorry as he knew her childhood dreams were being shattered.
Matters only got worse when he heard a call for Superman fifteen minutes into the production and made his escape, leaving Lois trapped in a twisted take on her one treasured holiday memory. He helped the Metropolis fire department put out a five-alarm blaze nearby in the theatre district before it could affect an apartment building, saving Christmas for dozens of families, then moved on to Nepal where an avalanche threatened a village. When he made it back to the theatre, the show was over and a shell-shocked Lois was exiting the theatre on her father's arm.
"Sorry, Lois," Clark apologized as he came up to the Lanes. "Perry just wanted me to cover a story on a fire nearby." Sam and Ellen Lane nodded understandingly as Lois stared ahead, uncomprehendingly.
Martha looked at her future daughter-in-law with concern. "Is there something wrong, Lois?"
Trance-like, Lois turned to answer. "Why, no, Martha. Why do you ask?"
Jonathan glanced at her sharply and whispered into his wife's ear as Clark tried to get Lois to focus on him. Martha looked up at her husband and nodded sharply. "Maybe you're right, Jonathan. She just needs a good night's sleep."
Ellen stepped in abruptly. "I'll take her back to her apartment and tuck her in. Nothing helps Lois settle down like a cup of hot cocoa. Sam? Call us a taxi!"
Her ex-husband looked around, a bit befuddled. Clark suspected he had been as thrown for a loop by the unexpected twist on the performance as had his daughter. "What? Um, okay, Ellen." Stepping away from the straggling group of theatergoers, Sam Lane whistled a taxi over.
Clark desperately intervened. "Don't worry, Mrs. Lane."
"Ellen!" his future mother-in-law corrected fondly.
"Ellen! Don't worry. I'll see Lois safely home."
"Nonsense! You have your parents to think of. They don't know Metropolis half as well as we do. Anyway, all Lois needs is her hot chocolate and a good night's sleep. With tomorrow being Christmas Eve, there's a lot to do." Decisivly, Ellen dragged her daughter towards the cab. Belatedly, Lois seemed to shake off her Nutcracker-induced fog and start to argue with her mother. But as she was already in the cab, with her mother slipping in beside her, it was clearly too late.
Clark wistfully watched her forlorn look over her shoulder as the cab sped away, down the darkened street. There went another Christmas opportunity.
***
Christmas Eve
Lois leaned against the door of her apartment, having secured the several deadbolts and locks. "At last," she said, locking her gaze with Clark's. He smiled in return, nodding indulgently. It was late on Christmas Eve, but they'd finally gotten all of their parents out the door with a promise to see them the next morning at nine to open presents together. Clark had left the apartment with his parents a half hour earlier, escorting them back to his apartment before zipping back over as Superman, to hang, unseen, far above her apartment while Lois finally pried her parents off of her sofa and out the door. Ellen clearly wanted to stay and chat some more with her daughter, and Sam seemed fixated on getting her permission to bring over Baby Gunderson, his cyborg creation, 'just to be safe.'
Lois had withstood all their pleas and seen them out the door while Clark floated silently in through the open window. Now, they could finally relax and be alone with each other. Lois laughed throatily and threw herself into Clark's embrace. Through the open window, they could hear the sound of Christmas carolers faintly singing, but their attention was only for each other.
"Missed you," Lois whispered as she snuggled up against her fiancé, leading him towards the sofa.
Clark captured her lips in a lingering kiss as they sat down between the two Christmas trees and then leaned back briefly. "Missed you, too."
Lois looked up at him, playfully, through her lashes. "Care to show me?"
Clark grinned back. "It would be my pleasure." Their lips met again and soon Lois was lying back against the sofa, wrapped closely in his arms. Two small thunks signaled her heels dropping off to one side and another of the sofa. Muted sounds of pleasure came from both of them, but were interrupted by louder caroling.
Clark raised himself on his elbows and cast a vexed stare at the open window. Pursing his lips, he blew softly and it closed obediently. He smiled his satisfaction and reached out with one hand to lay his glasses on the end table above Lois's head.
"Wait, Clark."
"What?" he asked in frustration.
"Listen."
Clark cocked his head to one side. The caroling was as loud as ever, if not louder. It was also fairly off key and coming from somewhere other than the now-closed window. Somewhere like the hallway just outside Lois' apartment. Clark narrowed his eyes, obviously using his x-ray vision to spot what was going on.
In an instant, Clark was up off the sofa, grabbing his glasses and straightening his clothes. Lois followed suit, reaching for the bat beside the door but Clark shook his head and she put that down. Resignedly, he was unfastening the many locks to an off-key version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" in a very familiar voice.
"Bobby Bigmouth," Lois and Clark said.
Their disheveled source stopped singing with a puckish grin. "Clark! Lois! What a surprise seeing you here!"
Lois crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at the informant. "What's up, Bobby?"
He pushed open the door a bit wider. "Thanks, Clark." Stepping into the apartment, he made a beeline into the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Whatcha got?"
Lois, following close behind, slapped his hand as Bobby reached for the plate of pastries intended for tomorrow's Christmas breakfast. Bobby whined. "I'm really hungry!"
Sighing in defeat, Lois indicated he was free to go ahead. "But only one!"
Bobby, with a mouthful of baked goods and another in his hand, made puppy dog eyes at her.
"Okay, two."
Grinning around the mouthful of flaky pastry, Bobby grabbed a third with his free hand and quickly wolfed the lot down. "I've got something for you."
Clark, looking at the rapidly disappearing contents of their breakfast platter, raised his eyebrows. "I'd hope so, with all you're eating."
Bobby waggled his eyebrows at the reporters. "Well, I did think about just stopping by to share my holiday good wishes and all, but I got some news."
Lois leaned against the fridge with a 'try me' expression. Clark wasn't sure whether she was doubtful about Bobby's information or trying to protect the contents of her refrigerator from further depredation. "What news?"
"Oh, ye of little faith," Bobby said, chidingly. "I found out where Intergang hid most of its haul from the last week."
Lois raised her eyebrow even further. "Really?"
Bobby nodded and looked around with a hungry expression. "Really. But getting this kinda news is hungry work. Got anything else to eat?"
With a start, Clark realized that their source had just inhaled the entire pastry selection intended for tomorrow morning. Lois was already two steps ahead of him, however, and was reaching above the fridge for a wrapped plate of cookies. Laying it out in front of Bobby, she warned, "This is all I've got."
He eyed the piled-high plate thoughtfully. "It'll do."
Diving in, he explained the situation around an occasional explosion of crumbs: the dockside warehouse that nobody had searched, full of stolen goods, all waiting to be sorted and fenced. "There's, like, a whole room of wallets, purses and shopping bags, two stories high and wide enough to drive a truck into."
Clark had grabbed a pen from Lois' counter and was busy making notes while his partner drew out more details from Bobby. Soon they had a detailed description of the warehouse's location and the haul taken from the past week's crime spree by the briefly resurrected Intergang. Plaintively, Bobby asked for more food as he picked up the last cookie crumbs from the platter.
Lois shook her head sadly. "You've cleaned me out, Bobby. Well, except for this fruitcake." She glanced over at the boxed dessert that the Planet's publisher had included with their annual Christmas gift basket.
Bobby eyed it disdainfully. "I may be hungry, but I won't eat that."
He slipped past Lois and Clark and headed for the door. "I think there's an all night diner still open. Got to get something to eat, I'm starving. But you kids'll be fine with this, huh? Run a great story tomorrow!"
In spite of herself, Lois smiled. "Yeah. Thanks, Bobby."
"No thanks needed. Just get more food on hand for the next time I drop by."
In a flash, he was out the door, tunelessly singing another Christmas carol. Lois sighed and looked up at Clark. "We'd better act on it."
He nodded in agreement. "You're right. If we don't do something now, someone's going to start moving those goods. The police need to be informed, Superman needs to check things out and make sure there aren't any surprises hidden there by the Handyman, you need to get this story submitted."
"We need to get this story submitted," Lois corrected, meticulously, as she grabbed her coat from the closet. "I'll drive over to the dock. That should give Superman time check things out at the warehouse and to bring the police. See if you can find Detective Henderson."
Clark nodded sharply and stepped towards the window. He paused and made to step back to Lois, reaching out one hand, longingly. She blinked, bright-eyed. "Go. But be careful. We don't know if the Handyman left any more surprises."
Clark's brow lowered. "I survived the last attempt but I promise to be careful if you are, too. No racing in ahead of Superman and the police."
Lois nodded. "I promise. Just as long as you promise that we're going to come back here tonight and finish what we started."
With a nod and a whirl, Clark was in his suit and opening the window. Lois watched him rapidly ascend to the sky before picking up her purse and heading out to get her car. It was going to be a long night.
***
Christmas Morning
The rustle and rattle of keys in the doorway awoke Clark. Curled as he was in a warm bed, wrapped around someone equally warm but much softer, it took him a moment to get his bearings. Then his hearing kicked in and he sat up with a shock.
"I keep telling you, Ellen, it's too early to barge in. We promised Lois and Clark we'd be here at nine. It's not quite eight."
"You worry too much, Martha. I've been up for hours! I can't wait anymore. Lois won't mind. And I'm sure that Clark will get here in time for opening the presents. Why, he might even be early!"
Jonathan Kent cleared his throat. "Well, maybe we could all go back to that coffee shop I saw and pick up some coffee, just to start the morning off right."
With a twist, Ellen opened the last lock. Bemusedly, Clark wondered where she'd gotten all the keys to Lois' apartment, even as he felt his fiancé stiffen beside him as she heard her mother's voice coming through the slightly-open bedroom door.
"Nonsense! I can brew a great cup of coffee right here and we won't miss a thing. Come on, Sam. Let's go wake up Lois and wish her a Merry Christmas."
There was a faint rustle from the bedroom as Ellen Lane pushed the bedroom door wide open. Craning her neck in, she looked at the empty bed in disappointment. "Lois? Lois? Where are you?"
Martha Kent appeared just behind her. "Come on, Ellen. She's not here. Maybe she's out on a story."
Ellen looked annoyed. "Lois would have left a note. She knew we were coming."
"Not until nine," Sam Lane reminded, with a sigh.
Jonathan spoke up from the kitchen. "Hey, I see a note. It says Lois went out to meet Clark for coffee."
Ellen abandoned the bedroom doorway to stalk across the apartment. "Really? Why would they do that?"
Martha Kent looked around curiously. She could see that the bedroom window was ajar, letting a very brisk December breeze into the apartment. Stepping one foot into the bedroom to correct that, she spotted a small flare of red cloth from outside the window, rippling on the breeze and what looked like a very feminine, very bare foot. Over on the bedside table, a familiar pair of glasses completed the picture.
Eyes wide, she stepped back from the bedroom door, closing it behind her. "Because they wanted coffee and thought we wouldn't be here for a while, obviously. Let's head off to that coffee shop that Jonathan saw. We can all have a cup and chat over things, then come back after nine." With added emphasis, Martha pitched her voice towards the bedroom door. "If we're back after nine, I'm sure we'll find both Lois and Clark waiting here."
With some puzzlement, Ellen Lane agreed to the plan and soon the older couples were exiting the apartment, the sound of keys locking things behind them.
From the bedroom, there came twin sighs of relief. Lois shivered slightly as she unwrapped herself from Superman's cape and reached for her warm, ratty robe. Tying the belt, she felt herself enveloped, again, in the arms of the man she loved. Looking up at him over her shoulder, she smiled helplessly.
"Remind me, we owe your mom."
Clark laughed. "Remind me, we need to change the locks on your apartment."
Lois nodded emphatically. "Mom must have made copies after she brought me back from the ballet. She always wants to keep tabs on her little girls."
Her fiancé sighed. "Well, she might have seen a bit more than she liked if my parents hadn't distracted them."
Lois spun slowly in his arms, running a finger over his form-fitting suit. "Not with Superman around to save the day."
Clark smiled sheepishly. "It's not in my normal line of rescues."
"I'd hope not!" Lois said indignantly. "You'd better save these rescues only for me."
"Always and forever," he promised indulgently.
"Good! Now, since you're dressed, do you think you could go out and find us some more pastries and cookies? Remember, Bobby ate us out of everything last night."
Clark looked frustrated at the sudden change of pace. "Where am I going to do that? I'm surprised my folks found a coffee shop open. I don't want to go there and run into them."
Lois looked up at her fiancé, slyly. "Who said you had to think local? I'm sure there are a few patisseries open in France at this hour."
Clark's expression relaxed. Long distance, he could do.
"Pick us up some pastries and I'll just run a bath," Lois continued, fingering the belt on her robe. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to get washed up together, if you hurry."
With a leap, Clark was at the window. "I'll get right on it." A wisp of air was all that signaled his departure as he streaked off into the morning sun.
Lois wistfully eyed the still warm bed, then resolutely headed off for the bathroom to start the water running. Clark was likely to be back sooner than she thought with enough pastries to feed six families, let alone six people. She hoped he'd have enough sense to get something chocolate. As the water gushed into the tub, she poured a little bubble bath in. Not too much and not too fragrant. She didn't want anything to detract from the moment.
Within a few minutes, she heard a light thud in the outer room. Smiling wickedly, Lois turned around to see Superman standing in the bathroom doorway. With an eyebrow raised, he nodded his head at the tub. "I thought you'd be in there already," he said, sounding disappointed.
Lois sauntered over to the Man of Steel, touching her fingers to the neck of his suit. It was heady to feel the most powerful being in the world tremble at her touch. Running her fingers down the fabric, she skimmed past the waistline and pressed firmly against the warm, rising flesh below.
"I just didn't want to miss the chance to unwrap my present."
Clark smiled broadly at her words and gesture. "Oh. I see. Feel free, Miss Lane."
Smiling wickedly, Lois let her hands explore him boldly. "I will. Oh, I will," she promised huskily. As he lowered his mouth to meet hers, she thought that, finally, maybe, she was going to be having the best Christmas ever.
THE END
Fandom: Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4608
Summary: Lois and Clark go to great ends to get a private moment or two. A little bit AU (set Christmas, S3). Frogs broke my heart and I demand retroactive recompense in the form of this story!
Acknowledgements: This story would not be half of what resulted, were it not for the dedicated beta services of htbthomas. I also credit the boundless enthusiasm of bistyboo1974 who founded 12days_of_clois for which this and many other fics were written. Go, go to 12days_of_clois and check them out! This story is dedicated to the FoLC listserv who started me on internet fandom more than ten years ago.
The Office Party
The newsroom staff was full of good cheer. Today was the last day of work before Christmas. The paper was off to press and everyone felt a little bit giddy. A karaoke machine was set up near the elevator and everyone was taking turns singing along with their favourite holiday tunes.
If this Christmas cheer was augmented by a good deal of Christmas liquor being poured surreptitiously into coffee mugs all around, well, no one was complaining. Especially not Perry White, who, after two shots of bourbon, had been coaxed into belting out Blue Christmas in honour of The King. As the last note died away, Perry opened his eyes to acknowledge the enthusiastic cheers of his staffers.
"Where's Lois?" he demanded. "She should take a turn at the mike, the way she sings."
People looked around but there was no sign of Lois Lane or Clark Kent. Jimmy scratched his head in confusion. "I don't know where they went! They were here just a few minutes ago."
"Tarnation, Jimmy, they're as slippery as a pair of greased pigs. Go find them. They're probably back at work on another story about Intergang or something. Tell them to knock off the work ethic and knock back a bit of Christmas cheer." Obviously disgruntled, Perry handed off the karaoke mike to Cat Grant who soon launched into an over-the-top version of "Santa Baby" directed at hapless George from Travel.
Jimmy nodded nervously and set off on his search. Lois and Clark had better turn up soon or Perry might just turn into a grinch.
***
"I thought we were never going to be alone," Lois moaned as she plastered herself against Clark. Nervously, her fiancé glanced over his glasses at the door to the conference room, using his x-ray vision to ascertain that the lock was set as well as the blinds pulled down. That confirmed, he looked back down at the woman in his arms and smiled.
"You know what they say?"
Lois cocked an eyebrow. "No. No, I don't. What is it, 'misery loves company', 'three's a crowd'? Because I am sick and tired of having to sneak around to spend five minutes alone with my fiancé. Between my folks, your folks, Perry, Jimmy and everyone else on staff, it feels as if we're never out from under someone's eyes." She ran one finger up Clark's tie, reaching in to loosen the knot. "Now we're finally away from prying eyes and I'm going to take advantage of it… and you."
Clark grinned and slid a hand up her back. "They say that the holidays are the time for friends and family. But if you're not feeling like sharing, I guess I'll put up with it."
Lois leaned in for a kiss. "That's the spirit."
Their lips met and time was forgotten as they focused on each other. Lois finished unknotting Clark's tie, then slipped her fingers into the neck of his shirt, rubbing over his collarbone before she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck to bury her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Clark was just as assiduous in his attentions, lifting the back of her white blouse out of her waistband, and putting one warm hand firmly at the small of her back while the other began to work its way around to the front.
Lois groaned in pleasure at his touch. It seemed like forever since they'd been together, though in truth she knew it wasn't that long. But with her parents descending upon them, here in Metropolis, along with Clark's folks, complicated by the strange virus that had nearly felled Clark and the brief return of Intergang, their private time had disappeared. And Lois got cranky enough having to share the man she loved, in his Superman guise, with the rest of the world. Having to share Clark on nearly a fulltime basis with coworkers, friends and family, as they'd been doing for the past week? It got beyond bearing.
Clark cleared his throat and Lois stopped concentrating on the taste of his skin beneath her lips. She looked up with burning resentment. "You're not about to tell me the world needs rescuing again, are you?"
Clark shrugged awkwardly. "Um, no."
Lois narrowed her eyes and continued. "You're not going to tell me that Intergang's returned again?"
He smiled endearingly but his hands had left her body and were rebuttoning his shirt. "Um, no."
"Then what is it?" Lois demanded, angrily.
"Jimmy's looking for us. He's canvassed the copy room, Perry's office, the supply closet and the broom closet. I can only guess he's going to come here next."
Lois backed away with a groan. "I do not believe this! What do we have to do to get a moment alone?"
Clark reknotted his tie as she tucked her blouse back into the waistband and tidied her garments. "Not try to sneak off in the middle of the big office Christmas party?"
Lois snorted disdainfully. "Wrong answer. We need to be better at sneaking off. Way off."
Clark shrugged again, regretfully, as he stepped over to the door, releasing the lock and opening it in Jimmy Olsen's face. The younger man stared slack-jawed at the open door, then looked up into Clark's face. "CK!" he said, cheerfully. "What've you guys been doing? Researching more on the crime wave? Chief's been looking for you."
"I expected as much," Clark said, looking over Jimmy's shoulder at the festive gathering. Perry was standing near the karaoke machine and when he spotted Clark, began gesturing wildly.
"Clark! Come on down and bring Lois if you can find her. I've got a song for her to sing!"
Lois harrumphed as she left the conference room. Clark's eyes followed her swaying form regretfully as she mounted the makeshift stage with a pasted-on smile. He didn't have to feign enjoyment as she sang "Winter Wonderland", but he did have to admit that he felt a bit wistful, himself, when she crooned
Later on, we'll conspire,
as we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
the plans that we've made,
walking in a winter wonderland.
Crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall, Clark vowed to do everything he could to give Lois her Christmas wish. And himself his own, too.
***
The Nutcracker
"Clark, what are we doing here?" Lois had pitched her voice very low, trusting on her fiancé's super-hearing to pick up her question. They walked along, slowly, in a line that led into one of Metropolis's edgier theatres and she continued her hissed interrogation as her heels slowly clacked along the pavement. "Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought this was what we should do on our one free night before Christmas?"
Unfortunately, Clark couldn't do the same as Lois if he wanted his answer to be heard. He paused for a moment in the slow-moving line, ducked his head close against hers for a moment and whispered into her ear. "Our moms. Remember?"
"Oh, yes, I remember. I remember that you said it would be just dinner. I remember that you said we could duck out any time. I remember that you said it would just be one little bit of our evening. And look! Here we are, joining them at the theatre instead of having a romantic evening, together!" Lois pasted a showy smile on her face as her mother turned around in the line ahead of them and twiddled her fingers at her eldest daughter.
"Don't fall behind, Lois! You don't want to get lost in the crowd."
"Don't worry, Mom. We're right here, aren't we, Clark?" Lois elbowed him in a way that a normal man would have found vicious. Clark winced just for show and nodded weak confirmation of her words.
"I'm so doomed, aren't I?" Clark asked as they followed their parents into the theatre.
"Yes, you are, Clark. We finally get away from the office party before Perry can start a sing-along to "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and then you have to accept your mother's invitation to join our parents for dinner out and a performance of 'The Nutcracker.'" Lois let her rant get a bit louder as the crowd swelled around them.
Clark put his free hand over hers that rested on the arm of his coat. "It was my mom and your mom. I couldn't say no."
Lois sent him a scathing look as they entered the theatre. "It wouldn't have stopped me. They're going to be here for hours. All four of them. Think what we could do instead."
Clark sighed regretfully. "I am, Lois, I am. But. . . ."
She saw his pain and regretted her harsh tones. Patting his hand, Lois leaned her head against his shoulder. "It's okay. I understand. And, hey! It's The Nutcracker! I always loved that as a little girl."
Clark cleared his throat uncomfortably as Lois dreamily reminisced. "We'd go to performances of the Nutcracker, every Christmas after Lucy was old enough to sit through a show, right up until the time I was fifteen. Those performances were always the highlight of my holidays, even when Mom and Dad were fighting all the rest of Christmas."
Lois stopped talking as they reached their seats. Martha and Jonathan slipped in first, followed by a bickering Sam and Ellen. Clark politely indicated that she precede him so he could have the aisle seat "in case of emergencies". Lois shed her coat and settled into the seat, holding hands with Clark.
When the lights dimmed and the overture began, Lois smiled wickedly and shed one of her shoes. Clark jumped, slightly, as her stocking-clad foot rubbed against his trouser-clad leg. "Lois!" he managed to squeak out, quietly.
She giggled. "Shh, Clark. Can't you see the show's starting?" Her toes continued their seductive rub, up and down, against his calf.
"Lois, now is not the time!"
"Poo! Now hush, I want to watch the ballet." She leaned her head against his shoulder and turned her eyes dutifully towards the stage, all the while rubbing her foot against Clark's leg.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That's it, Lois. There's something about this show that I think my mom didn't tell you."
"What?"
The stage lights brightened and the first group of dancers appeared on the stage. Lois' foot dropped away from Clark's calf and he felt her hand escape his as she gasped. The heavy tread of the dancers covered her outburst from the rest of the audience, but he could hear her almost-voiceless whisper.
"A Drag Nutcracker? Clark?"
He picked up her flaccid hand and squeezed it, reassuringly. Lois sat there, slack-jawed, as a burly Clara capered on the stage. Clark felt sorry as he knew her childhood dreams were being shattered.
Matters only got worse when he heard a call for Superman fifteen minutes into the production and made his escape, leaving Lois trapped in a twisted take on her one treasured holiday memory. He helped the Metropolis fire department put out a five-alarm blaze nearby in the theatre district before it could affect an apartment building, saving Christmas for dozens of families, then moved on to Nepal where an avalanche threatened a village. When he made it back to the theatre, the show was over and a shell-shocked Lois was exiting the theatre on her father's arm.
"Sorry, Lois," Clark apologized as he came up to the Lanes. "Perry just wanted me to cover a story on a fire nearby." Sam and Ellen Lane nodded understandingly as Lois stared ahead, uncomprehendingly.
Martha looked at her future daughter-in-law with concern. "Is there something wrong, Lois?"
Trance-like, Lois turned to answer. "Why, no, Martha. Why do you ask?"
Jonathan glanced at her sharply and whispered into his wife's ear as Clark tried to get Lois to focus on him. Martha looked up at her husband and nodded sharply. "Maybe you're right, Jonathan. She just needs a good night's sleep."
Ellen stepped in abruptly. "I'll take her back to her apartment and tuck her in. Nothing helps Lois settle down like a cup of hot cocoa. Sam? Call us a taxi!"
Her ex-husband looked around, a bit befuddled. Clark suspected he had been as thrown for a loop by the unexpected twist on the performance as had his daughter. "What? Um, okay, Ellen." Stepping away from the straggling group of theatergoers, Sam Lane whistled a taxi over.
Clark desperately intervened. "Don't worry, Mrs. Lane."
"Ellen!" his future mother-in-law corrected fondly.
"Ellen! Don't worry. I'll see Lois safely home."
"Nonsense! You have your parents to think of. They don't know Metropolis half as well as we do. Anyway, all Lois needs is her hot chocolate and a good night's sleep. With tomorrow being Christmas Eve, there's a lot to do." Decisivly, Ellen dragged her daughter towards the cab. Belatedly, Lois seemed to shake off her Nutcracker-induced fog and start to argue with her mother. But as she was already in the cab, with her mother slipping in beside her, it was clearly too late.
Clark wistfully watched her forlorn look over her shoulder as the cab sped away, down the darkened street. There went another Christmas opportunity.
***
Christmas Eve
Lois leaned against the door of her apartment, having secured the several deadbolts and locks. "At last," she said, locking her gaze with Clark's. He smiled in return, nodding indulgently. It was late on Christmas Eve, but they'd finally gotten all of their parents out the door with a promise to see them the next morning at nine to open presents together. Clark had left the apartment with his parents a half hour earlier, escorting them back to his apartment before zipping back over as Superman, to hang, unseen, far above her apartment while Lois finally pried her parents off of her sofa and out the door. Ellen clearly wanted to stay and chat some more with her daughter, and Sam seemed fixated on getting her permission to bring over Baby Gunderson, his cyborg creation, 'just to be safe.'
Lois had withstood all their pleas and seen them out the door while Clark floated silently in through the open window. Now, they could finally relax and be alone with each other. Lois laughed throatily and threw herself into Clark's embrace. Through the open window, they could hear the sound of Christmas carolers faintly singing, but their attention was only for each other.
"Missed you," Lois whispered as she snuggled up against her fiancé, leading him towards the sofa.
Clark captured her lips in a lingering kiss as they sat down between the two Christmas trees and then leaned back briefly. "Missed you, too."
Lois looked up at him, playfully, through her lashes. "Care to show me?"
Clark grinned back. "It would be my pleasure." Their lips met again and soon Lois was lying back against the sofa, wrapped closely in his arms. Two small thunks signaled her heels dropping off to one side and another of the sofa. Muted sounds of pleasure came from both of them, but were interrupted by louder caroling.
Clark raised himself on his elbows and cast a vexed stare at the open window. Pursing his lips, he blew softly and it closed obediently. He smiled his satisfaction and reached out with one hand to lay his glasses on the end table above Lois's head.
"Wait, Clark."
"What?" he asked in frustration.
"Listen."
Clark cocked his head to one side. The caroling was as loud as ever, if not louder. It was also fairly off key and coming from somewhere other than the now-closed window. Somewhere like the hallway just outside Lois' apartment. Clark narrowed his eyes, obviously using his x-ray vision to spot what was going on.
In an instant, Clark was up off the sofa, grabbing his glasses and straightening his clothes. Lois followed suit, reaching for the bat beside the door but Clark shook his head and she put that down. Resignedly, he was unfastening the many locks to an off-key version of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" in a very familiar voice.
"Bobby Bigmouth," Lois and Clark said.
Their disheveled source stopped singing with a puckish grin. "Clark! Lois! What a surprise seeing you here!"
Lois crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at the informant. "What's up, Bobby?"
He pushed open the door a bit wider. "Thanks, Clark." Stepping into the apartment, he made a beeline into the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Whatcha got?"
Lois, following close behind, slapped his hand as Bobby reached for the plate of pastries intended for tomorrow's Christmas breakfast. Bobby whined. "I'm really hungry!"
Sighing in defeat, Lois indicated he was free to go ahead. "But only one!"
Bobby, with a mouthful of baked goods and another in his hand, made puppy dog eyes at her.
"Okay, two."
Grinning around the mouthful of flaky pastry, Bobby grabbed a third with his free hand and quickly wolfed the lot down. "I've got something for you."
Clark, looking at the rapidly disappearing contents of their breakfast platter, raised his eyebrows. "I'd hope so, with all you're eating."
Bobby waggled his eyebrows at the reporters. "Well, I did think about just stopping by to share my holiday good wishes and all, but I got some news."
Lois leaned against the fridge with a 'try me' expression. Clark wasn't sure whether she was doubtful about Bobby's information or trying to protect the contents of her refrigerator from further depredation. "What news?"
"Oh, ye of little faith," Bobby said, chidingly. "I found out where Intergang hid most of its haul from the last week."
Lois raised her eyebrow even further. "Really?"
Bobby nodded and looked around with a hungry expression. "Really. But getting this kinda news is hungry work. Got anything else to eat?"
With a start, Clark realized that their source had just inhaled the entire pastry selection intended for tomorrow morning. Lois was already two steps ahead of him, however, and was reaching above the fridge for a wrapped plate of cookies. Laying it out in front of Bobby, she warned, "This is all I've got."
He eyed the piled-high plate thoughtfully. "It'll do."
Diving in, he explained the situation around an occasional explosion of crumbs: the dockside warehouse that nobody had searched, full of stolen goods, all waiting to be sorted and fenced. "There's, like, a whole room of wallets, purses and shopping bags, two stories high and wide enough to drive a truck into."
Clark had grabbed a pen from Lois' counter and was busy making notes while his partner drew out more details from Bobby. Soon they had a detailed description of the warehouse's location and the haul taken from the past week's crime spree by the briefly resurrected Intergang. Plaintively, Bobby asked for more food as he picked up the last cookie crumbs from the platter.
Lois shook her head sadly. "You've cleaned me out, Bobby. Well, except for this fruitcake." She glanced over at the boxed dessert that the Planet's publisher had included with their annual Christmas gift basket.
Bobby eyed it disdainfully. "I may be hungry, but I won't eat that."
He slipped past Lois and Clark and headed for the door. "I think there's an all night diner still open. Got to get something to eat, I'm starving. But you kids'll be fine with this, huh? Run a great story tomorrow!"
In spite of herself, Lois smiled. "Yeah. Thanks, Bobby."
"No thanks needed. Just get more food on hand for the next time I drop by."
In a flash, he was out the door, tunelessly singing another Christmas carol. Lois sighed and looked up at Clark. "We'd better act on it."
He nodded in agreement. "You're right. If we don't do something now, someone's going to start moving those goods. The police need to be informed, Superman needs to check things out and make sure there aren't any surprises hidden there by the Handyman, you need to get this story submitted."
"We need to get this story submitted," Lois corrected, meticulously, as she grabbed her coat from the closet. "I'll drive over to the dock. That should give Superman time check things out at the warehouse and to bring the police. See if you can find Detective Henderson."
Clark nodded sharply and stepped towards the window. He paused and made to step back to Lois, reaching out one hand, longingly. She blinked, bright-eyed. "Go. But be careful. We don't know if the Handyman left any more surprises."
Clark's brow lowered. "I survived the last attempt but I promise to be careful if you are, too. No racing in ahead of Superman and the police."
Lois nodded. "I promise. Just as long as you promise that we're going to come back here tonight and finish what we started."
With a nod and a whirl, Clark was in his suit and opening the window. Lois watched him rapidly ascend to the sky before picking up her purse and heading out to get her car. It was going to be a long night.
***
Christmas Morning
The rustle and rattle of keys in the doorway awoke Clark. Curled as he was in a warm bed, wrapped around someone equally warm but much softer, it took him a moment to get his bearings. Then his hearing kicked in and he sat up with a shock.
"I keep telling you, Ellen, it's too early to barge in. We promised Lois and Clark we'd be here at nine. It's not quite eight."
"You worry too much, Martha. I've been up for hours! I can't wait anymore. Lois won't mind. And I'm sure that Clark will get here in time for opening the presents. Why, he might even be early!"
Jonathan Kent cleared his throat. "Well, maybe we could all go back to that coffee shop I saw and pick up some coffee, just to start the morning off right."
With a twist, Ellen opened the last lock. Bemusedly, Clark wondered where she'd gotten all the keys to Lois' apartment, even as he felt his fiancé stiffen beside him as she heard her mother's voice coming through the slightly-open bedroom door.
"Nonsense! I can brew a great cup of coffee right here and we won't miss a thing. Come on, Sam. Let's go wake up Lois and wish her a Merry Christmas."
There was a faint rustle from the bedroom as Ellen Lane pushed the bedroom door wide open. Craning her neck in, she looked at the empty bed in disappointment. "Lois? Lois? Where are you?"
Martha Kent appeared just behind her. "Come on, Ellen. She's not here. Maybe she's out on a story."
Ellen looked annoyed. "Lois would have left a note. She knew we were coming."
"Not until nine," Sam Lane reminded, with a sigh.
Jonathan spoke up from the kitchen. "Hey, I see a note. It says Lois went out to meet Clark for coffee."
Ellen abandoned the bedroom doorway to stalk across the apartment. "Really? Why would they do that?"
Martha Kent looked around curiously. She could see that the bedroom window was ajar, letting a very brisk December breeze into the apartment. Stepping one foot into the bedroom to correct that, she spotted a small flare of red cloth from outside the window, rippling on the breeze and what looked like a very feminine, very bare foot. Over on the bedside table, a familiar pair of glasses completed the picture.
Eyes wide, she stepped back from the bedroom door, closing it behind her. "Because they wanted coffee and thought we wouldn't be here for a while, obviously. Let's head off to that coffee shop that Jonathan saw. We can all have a cup and chat over things, then come back after nine." With added emphasis, Martha pitched her voice towards the bedroom door. "If we're back after nine, I'm sure we'll find both Lois and Clark waiting here."
With some puzzlement, Ellen Lane agreed to the plan and soon the older couples were exiting the apartment, the sound of keys locking things behind them.
From the bedroom, there came twin sighs of relief. Lois shivered slightly as she unwrapped herself from Superman's cape and reached for her warm, ratty robe. Tying the belt, she felt herself enveloped, again, in the arms of the man she loved. Looking up at him over her shoulder, she smiled helplessly.
"Remind me, we owe your mom."
Clark laughed. "Remind me, we need to change the locks on your apartment."
Lois nodded emphatically. "Mom must have made copies after she brought me back from the ballet. She always wants to keep tabs on her little girls."
Her fiancé sighed. "Well, she might have seen a bit more than she liked if my parents hadn't distracted them."
Lois spun slowly in his arms, running a finger over his form-fitting suit. "Not with Superman around to save the day."
Clark smiled sheepishly. "It's not in my normal line of rescues."
"I'd hope not!" Lois said indignantly. "You'd better save these rescues only for me."
"Always and forever," he promised indulgently.
"Good! Now, since you're dressed, do you think you could go out and find us some more pastries and cookies? Remember, Bobby ate us out of everything last night."
Clark looked frustrated at the sudden change of pace. "Where am I going to do that? I'm surprised my folks found a coffee shop open. I don't want to go there and run into them."
Lois looked up at her fiancé, slyly. "Who said you had to think local? I'm sure there are a few patisseries open in France at this hour."
Clark's expression relaxed. Long distance, he could do.
"Pick us up some pastries and I'll just run a bath," Lois continued, fingering the belt on her robe. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to get washed up together, if you hurry."
With a leap, Clark was at the window. "I'll get right on it." A wisp of air was all that signaled his departure as he streaked off into the morning sun.
Lois wistfully eyed the still warm bed, then resolutely headed off for the bathroom to start the water running. Clark was likely to be back sooner than she thought with enough pastries to feed six families, let alone six people. She hoped he'd have enough sense to get something chocolate. As the water gushed into the tub, she poured a little bubble bath in. Not too much and not too fragrant. She didn't want anything to detract from the moment.
Within a few minutes, she heard a light thud in the outer room. Smiling wickedly, Lois turned around to see Superman standing in the bathroom doorway. With an eyebrow raised, he nodded his head at the tub. "I thought you'd be in there already," he said, sounding disappointed.
Lois sauntered over to the Man of Steel, touching her fingers to the neck of his suit. It was heady to feel the most powerful being in the world tremble at her touch. Running her fingers down the fabric, she skimmed past the waistline and pressed firmly against the warm, rising flesh below.
"I just didn't want to miss the chance to unwrap my present."
Clark smiled broadly at her words and gesture. "Oh. I see. Feel free, Miss Lane."
Smiling wickedly, Lois let her hands explore him boldly. "I will. Oh, I will," she promised huskily. As he lowered his mouth to meet hers, she thought that, finally, maybe, she was going to be having the best Christmas ever.
THE END