Room 218, Tuesday Midday
What had started as just a simple trip to the Centaur settlement to oversee a new treaty with the Amazons had gone horribly, wrenchingly awry, and in the end Gabrielle had no one to blame but herself.
Running into Xena's son Solan had only reminded her of what she might have had, if she hadn't needed to send Hope away; having to tell Ephiny -- and watch her with her son Xenon -- what had happened in Britannia several months ago had been hard, and not just because she'd had to lie to the woman she'd entrusted to rule over the Amazons in her stead. As far as anyone, even Ephiny, was concerned Hope was gone; the less chance Xena had of suspecting the girl was still alive, the better.
Gabrielle hadn't been expecting Hope to be so close by. Right in the Centaur village, no less -- and she certainly hadn't anticipated that Hope would free Callisto from her imprisonment in the lava pit and play them all.
The girl had called herself Fayla at first, playing the terrified little victim to the hilt and telling them she had a message from Callisto: "She knows your little secret," the message to Xena had gone, "and she's going to take it to the grave."
Xena had known right away that Callisto meant Solan, despite years of carefully hiding the boy's true parentage and fostering him with Kaleipus, the leader of the Centaurs, and they'd hatched a plan to distract her: Gabrielle would play decoy, and Ephiny would take Solan to safe refuge in the Ixion Caves.
Xena hadn't known that Gabrielle had discovered the carved wooden lamb she'd tucked in Hope's basket when she'd sent her away down the river in Britannia -- the same wooden lamb that had been a gift to Gabrielle from Xena two Solstices ago -- and realized exactly who the girl was . . . or that she'd planned to send Hope to the Ixion Caves with Solan. For Hope's safety, or so Gabrielle believed, because she hadn't yet given up on the conviction that the child of Dahak could be innately good, but that belief took a devastating blow when they discovered a dying Kaleipus on the path to the Caves, which he'd gone ahead to scout.
"What makes you think you can trust this child?" Xena had asked her, shortly afterward; they were working on "Fayla's" information that Callisto was targeting all the children of the allied Centaur and Amazon tribes, and plans to get all the children to safety were underway.
"What makes you think that we can't?" Gabrielle argued back. "Xena, she gave us Callisto's plan!"
"Exactly. Callisto wouldn't tell her anything she didn't want us to hear. The child's probably a pawn or worse."
She'd always known her best friend was more skeptical than she was, but her nerves were rubbed raw and Xena's tone made Gabrielle defensive. "That is not true. Xena, you were always so quick to blame her, weren't you? Well, she is not evil! She's not!"
It had been a mistake. She knew it from the way Xena's eyes had turned ice-cold when she rounded on Gabrielle and asked in a dangerous voice, "Hope? The child is Hope?"
The sound of Xena's voice in that moment was the sound of Gabrielle's carefully sustained lie crashing down around her, and the old argument from Britannia surged back up in all its intensity again. One immovable object in stubborn opposition to another: Gabrielle's stubborn, almost desperate optimism ("She's my child!") against Xena's cold, ruthless expedience ("She is a vessel, an instrument for evil. That is all!") and neither willing to give an inch of ground.
Not, that was, until Gabrielle finally exploded in frustration. "You are wrong!" she'd finally yelled. "Xena, Hope is the victim here! That's why I sent her to Kaleipus's hut, so she would be safe from Callisto!"
All the antagonism drained out of Xena's posture, replaced by a kind of pure terror that Gabrielle had never seen in her eyes before as she echoed in a whisper, "You sent her to Kaleipus's hut?"
Kaleipus's hut. Where Solan was packing his things to go into hiding in preparation for the confrontation with Callisto. Solan, who had gotten Xena to promise him that once Callisto was taken care of he could come and live with them. Solan, who didn't know that Xena was his mother, only that Kaleipus had once promised him that if anything happened to him, Solan would be safe with her.
Solan, Xena's "little secret."
Xena had turned away from Gabrielle then and hurled herself into a desperate run across the village. By the time Gabrielle caught up to her, Xena was kneeling on the floor of Kaleipus's hut cradling Solan's head in her lap, and screaming for Gabrielle to get out.
. . . any belief Gabrielle might have had left in Hope's innocence was irrevocably shattered when she returned to the hut they'd been staying in and found the girl there, terrified and babbling about being too scared to stay when she found the boy lying on the ground, because surely Callisto was coming after her next.
"Please, can we go now?" she'd begged. "I don't want to die like Solan!"
She'd never told Hope his name.
She'd never hated knowing so clearly what it was she had to do.
***
There were two pyres, in the end, and Ephiny sang the mourning chant for both of them. In the crackling light of the fire, Gabrielle tried to seek Xena out and . . . apologize? Gods. How did you apologize for this?
"If I had just done what you said -- when you told me to do it," she ventured brokenly, "then they would still be alive. Kaleipus and . . . and Solan."
"Don't," Xena spat, turning away from her, "you even speak his name."
She tried, like she always did, to go after the Warrior Princess, only to get turned aside again.
"You lied to me." There was no defense for that accusation, Gabrielle knew. "I trusted you, and you lied to me. And now . . ."
She didn't really hear what Xena said after that, and she didn't need to; the fires crackling in front of them said plenty, and watching Xena walk away from her said everything else.
When the portal came to take her back to Fandom, it seemed like it couldn't be too soon.
The trip from the causeway back to the dorms seemed to take forever; Gabrielle stood in the doorway and stared at her side of the room for a very long time, then dropped her satchel and collapsed onto her bed in a little, worn out heap. Making it to class this afternoon wasn't remotely on her mind.
[OOC: Door closed, post not so much for interaction unless the roomie wants to ping in. Canon catchup was for season 3's "Maternal Instincts," which is not in any way a light or fluffy episode. I've glossed things over as much as I can behind the cut but there's messed-up stuff back there including several NPC deaths.
ETA: Okay to say Gabrielle and Karla talked, but details of the convo NFB like holy freaking whoa, and will likely also contain some discussion of upsetting/disturbing subject matter.]
Running into Xena's son Solan had only reminded her of what she might have had, if she hadn't needed to send Hope away; having to tell Ephiny -- and watch her with her son Xenon -- what had happened in Britannia several months ago had been hard, and not just because she'd had to lie to the woman she'd entrusted to rule over the Amazons in her stead. As far as anyone, even Ephiny, was concerned Hope was gone; the less chance Xena had of suspecting the girl was still alive, the better.
Gabrielle hadn't been expecting Hope to be so close by. Right in the Centaur village, no less -- and she certainly hadn't anticipated that Hope would free Callisto from her imprisonment in the lava pit and play them all.
The girl had called herself Fayla at first, playing the terrified little victim to the hilt and telling them she had a message from Callisto: "She knows your little secret," the message to Xena had gone, "and she's going to take it to the grave."
Xena had known right away that Callisto meant Solan, despite years of carefully hiding the boy's true parentage and fostering him with Kaleipus, the leader of the Centaurs, and they'd hatched a plan to distract her: Gabrielle would play decoy, and Ephiny would take Solan to safe refuge in the Ixion Caves.
Xena hadn't known that Gabrielle had discovered the carved wooden lamb she'd tucked in Hope's basket when she'd sent her away down the river in Britannia -- the same wooden lamb that had been a gift to Gabrielle from Xena two Solstices ago -- and realized exactly who the girl was . . . or that she'd planned to send Hope to the Ixion Caves with Solan. For Hope's safety, or so Gabrielle believed, because she hadn't yet given up on the conviction that the child of Dahak could be innately good, but that belief took a devastating blow when they discovered a dying Kaleipus on the path to the Caves, which he'd gone ahead to scout.
"What makes you think you can trust this child?" Xena had asked her, shortly afterward; they were working on "Fayla's" information that Callisto was targeting all the children of the allied Centaur and Amazon tribes, and plans to get all the children to safety were underway.
"What makes you think that we can't?" Gabrielle argued back. "Xena, she gave us Callisto's plan!"
"Exactly. Callisto wouldn't tell her anything she didn't want us to hear. The child's probably a pawn or worse."
She'd always known her best friend was more skeptical than she was, but her nerves were rubbed raw and Xena's tone made Gabrielle defensive. "That is not true. Xena, you were always so quick to blame her, weren't you? Well, she is not evil! She's not!"
It had been a mistake. She knew it from the way Xena's eyes had turned ice-cold when she rounded on Gabrielle and asked in a dangerous voice, "Hope? The child is Hope?"
The sound of Xena's voice in that moment was the sound of Gabrielle's carefully sustained lie crashing down around her, and the old argument from Britannia surged back up in all its intensity again. One immovable object in stubborn opposition to another: Gabrielle's stubborn, almost desperate optimism ("She's my child!") against Xena's cold, ruthless expedience ("She is a vessel, an instrument for evil. That is all!") and neither willing to give an inch of ground.
Not, that was, until Gabrielle finally exploded in frustration. "You are wrong!" she'd finally yelled. "Xena, Hope is the victim here! That's why I sent her to Kaleipus's hut, so she would be safe from Callisto!"
All the antagonism drained out of Xena's posture, replaced by a kind of pure terror that Gabrielle had never seen in her eyes before as she echoed in a whisper, "You sent her to Kaleipus's hut?"
Kaleipus's hut. Where Solan was packing his things to go into hiding in preparation for the confrontation with Callisto. Solan, who had gotten Xena to promise him that once Callisto was taken care of he could come and live with them. Solan, who didn't know that Xena was his mother, only that Kaleipus had once promised him that if anything happened to him, Solan would be safe with her.
Solan, Xena's "little secret."
Xena had turned away from Gabrielle then and hurled herself into a desperate run across the village. By the time Gabrielle caught up to her, Xena was kneeling on the floor of Kaleipus's hut cradling Solan's head in her lap, and screaming for Gabrielle to get out.
. . . any belief Gabrielle might have had left in Hope's innocence was irrevocably shattered when she returned to the hut they'd been staying in and found the girl there, terrified and babbling about being too scared to stay when she found the boy lying on the ground, because surely Callisto was coming after her next.
"Please, can we go now?" she'd begged. "I don't want to die like Solan!"
She'd never told Hope his name.
She'd never hated knowing so clearly what it was she had to do.
***
There were two pyres, in the end, and Ephiny sang the mourning chant for both of them. In the crackling light of the fire, Gabrielle tried to seek Xena out and . . . apologize? Gods. How did you apologize for this?
"If I had just done what you said -- when you told me to do it," she ventured brokenly, "then they would still be alive. Kaleipus and . . . and Solan."
"Don't," Xena spat, turning away from her, "you even speak his name."
She tried, like she always did, to go after the Warrior Princess, only to get turned aside again.
"You lied to me." There was no defense for that accusation, Gabrielle knew. "I trusted you, and you lied to me. And now . . ."
She didn't really hear what Xena said after that, and she didn't need to; the fires crackling in front of them said plenty, and watching Xena walk away from her said everything else.
When the portal came to take her back to Fandom, it seemed like it couldn't be too soon.
The trip from the causeway back to the dorms seemed to take forever; Gabrielle stood in the doorway and stared at her side of the room for a very long time, then dropped her satchel and collapsed onto her bed in a little, worn out heap. Making it to class this afternoon wasn't remotely on her mind.
[OOC: Door closed, post not so much for interaction unless the roomie wants to ping in. Canon catchup was for season 3's "Maternal Instincts," which is not in any way a light or fluffy episode. I've glossed things over as much as I can behind the cut but there's messed-up stuff back there including several NPC deaths.
ETA: Okay to say Gabrielle and Karla talked, but details of the convo NFB like holy freaking whoa, and will likely also contain some discussion of upsetting/disturbing subject matter.]