I knocked this together for the '12 Days of Christmas' challenge on Bloom_of_Viggo and thought it might be fun to share (visitor is sleeping so I have a few mins!)
Of Elves and Eggnog - The Seventh Day of Christmas
Author : Andatariel
Rating : R’ish - Just to be on the safe side
Pairing : OB/VM
Warning : PWP, fluff, a drunken Christmas Elf
Disclaimer : This is (unfortunately) a work of fiction, none of this really happened. Don’t know them, don’t own them, no profit involved - just for fun!
Feedback : Yes, please!
Summary : Christmas seems a long, long way away.
Beta : None - I ran out of time, so it’s all my own fault.
Posted : December 2004
A/N : This may come as a shock to those familiar with my writing, but there’s no hot, steamy sex scene here… and no, I’ve never written anything this non-explicit before. It just didn’t fit!
*****
"Veeeeeg…" Orlando whined as Viggo walked into the lounge. "Pleeeeeease… just one?" he pointedly looked at the Christmas tree in the corner.
Silently cursing the heap of gifts that had been arriving from friends and family in all four corners of the globe and were now stacked under the tree, Viggo responded "No, baby. We agreed to save them all for Christmas Day. Remember?"
"Awwww. But just one or two won’t hurt," Orlando pouted, fluttering his eyelashes.
"No way! You won’t stop at just one or two. And then you’re gonna sulk when you have nothing to open on the 25th."
"But Veeeeg…" Orlando looked up to see Viggo disappearing back into the kitchen. ‘Hmmm, love that ass in those jeans’ he thought before his eyes were pulled inexorably back to the heap of tempting and mysterious parcels.
Viggo came back into the room with a tray holding a large, steaming bowl and two glass cups.
"Look babe, I made you some eggnog. Non-dairy, of course," he tried to sound enthusiastic, thinking of the usual rich, decadent delight he loved to make with double cream. "I’ve been experimenting and I think I’ve got the right taste."
"Aww, you’re so sweet to think of that for me," Orlando crooned. "I’m actually looking forward to trying this eggnog you keep going on about!"
Viggo mentally crossed his fingers, as Orlando eagerly tasted the drink. He had tried to get the taste the way he liked it, but eventually had given up and added liberal amounts of alcohol to cover the taste of the non-dairy cream, spicing it up with plenty of cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar.
"Mmmm. That’s really good," Orlando enthused as he put his empty glass cup down. "Can I have some more, please?"
"Sure, baby. Just take it slowly, this stuff can creep up on you," Viggo cautioned. "I’m going to wash up now. No peeking at the presents!" he said, stepping into the kitchen to tackle the dinner dishes. He sighed deeply. He was having a hard time keeping Orlando’s mind off the gifts and was running out of distractions. They had already opened the window on Orlando’s Advent calendar, played several games of cards and finished a jigsaw puzzle. Viggo had no idea how to occupy his impatient lover for the rest of the evening.
Dishes done, Viggo walked back into the lounge and stopped dead, eyes open wide. Orlando was dancing around the coffee table, eyes closed, singing offkey at the top of his voice. He had tied the curls on top of his head into a ‘Pebbles Flintstone’-style ponytail with a strand of tinsel from the tree, and two glass baubles hung from their strings, looped over his ears.
"On the sheventh day of Chrishmush, my true love shent to me, sheven shwaaansh a … a … a … schwimming…. Look, Vig, I’m a Chrishmush Elf," Orlando giggled, catching sight of Viggo standing transfixed in the doorway. "And Chrish… Chrish… Chrishmush Elves get to see what’sh in the packages Shanta deliversh!" Orlando declaimed, flinging his arm dramatically towards the Christmas tree and almost landing flat on his face as he swayed precariously. Viggo jumped forward, steadying Orlando with one arm around his waist, and skillfully catching the poinsettia Orlando knocked off the coffee table with his other hand.
"Steady there, Elfboy. What the…?" Viggo’s eyes widened as he caught sight of the empty eggnog bowl. "Baby, did you drink all that? No wonder you’re slurring!"
"’M not shlurring. ‘M fine," Orlando mumbled. "Shorry I didn’t shave you any. It wash jusht sho nishe. Like you… schmmooth and schweet and yummy."
"Coffee, now!" instructed Viggo as he marched his inebriated ‘Chrishmush Elf’ into the kitchen and propped him up against the counter. "Don’t move! Stay there where I can keep an eye on you!" Silently he cursed himself for adding the extra alcohol to the eggnog concoction. But he had no way of knowing that Orlando would drink the whole bowl. The aim had been to settle Orlando down a little and (hopefully) distract him from the gifts, not get him rip-roaring drunk!
Two large mugs of strong black coffee later, Orlando’s eyes were beginning to uncross and he was looking decidedly more composed, albeit a little sheepish. Viggo had carefully removed the glass baubles, but Orlando had determinedly hung onto his tinsel bow, the ends of which were framing his face and sparkling in the light.
"Vig, I’m sorry I drank all the eggnog. It just tasted so good! But what the hell was in that stuff?"
Viggo blushed. "Well, I couldn’t get the taste right so I kept adding more booze and spices… but I didn’t mean to get you so inebriated!"
"Don’t worry, it was my own fault. Now, how are you going to keep me occupied for the rest of the evening? How about opening just one pressie?" Orlando looked hopefully towards the tree.
"Not a chance, my little ‘Chrishmush Elf’, not until the 25th and that’s four more days away," Viggo sighed.
"Okay then, lover," Orlando purred. "Come over here and I’ll keep you occupied instead," he winked lasciviously.
"Oh no you don’t," Viggo replied. "I’m not going to be accused of getting you drunk and taking advantage of you! You’ll probably tell your Mom and the Hobbits that I did it on purpose!" he grinned.
"Hey! I’m not drunk any more. I’m fine now, just a bit buzzed. See, I can even recite tongue-twisters. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers."
Viggo laughed. "I seem to recall you had trouble with the letter ‘S’ and the ‘seven-swans-a-swimming’, not the letter ’P’!"
"Okay then. Seventy seven snow white swans swiftly swam to Swansea," Orlando recited triumphantly.
"What? Wow… I’ve never heard that one before. Admittedly, I’m impressed you got through it without making a hash of it, but where did you learn it?" Viggo asked curiously.
"Oh, I learned it at primary school. But now that my tongue is loosened up and we’ve established that I’m relatively sober, why don’t you come over here and I’ll show you a real tongue twister," Orlando grinned, a lustful gleam in his eye.
Viggo was marched backwards into the lounge with a forceful hand upon his chest. As he sat on the couch and Orlando sank to his knees before him, Viggo mentally sighed. Although it was only a few days away, it seemed like forever to Christmas Day. ‘Still’, he thought to himself as Orlando deftly unbuttoned his jeans and reached inside, ‘keeping Orli occupied does have its advantages’!