The Thing About Girls
Title The Thing About Girls
Author me
Rating PG
Warnings Gender swap (but no mpreg)
Summary The girl Jinchul meets at the bar is not exactly who she seems. Sort of.
Author's Note This totally came from a meme I did a few weeks ago (see it here, number 18). I wrote that, and... this happened. Also - for those of you not familiar with F.Cuz, Jinon is JinChul's stage name - I did it this way because it seemed to be a way for him to keep sane.
Part 1
The dimness of the bar gave Kim Jinchul exactly the cover he'd hoped for, and he took his drink to a small table in the back to keep from any lights that might give him away. He pulled his baseball cap lower to hide his face and to cover the give-away stripe of blond in his hair. He'd left Jinon back in the dorm; YeJun and Kan knew to cover for him, and DaeGeon and RaeHyun would learn. He just needed a break, to be himself - not his stage name - for a bit. They'd understand soon enough.
"Mind if I join you?"
He looked up to realize that the place had filled up, and the other chair at his table was the only one left. "No," he said, before taking in the curves unsuccessfully hidden under sweats and a bulky sweater, hair and face obfuscated by a scarf. "Sit down."
She did, setting down a bottle of Soju and a glass for it. "Just... don't talk to me," she said quietly, and he frowned, the voice vaguely familiar. He didn't press her, though, nodding his agreement because he understood the need for privacy. Or, at least, the illusion of it.
The problem was, she drank like a man. Not in capacity (he knew women who could and had drunk him under the table), no, but the movements, the way she sat, everything (except the curves and the voice) proclaimed man. He watched her out of the corner of his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of her face under the scarf. All he got was a flash of platinum blond hair near her left eye, but even that.... It all fell into place, and he reacted before he realized just how ridiculous a thought it was (he must have drunk more than he thought), grasping the scarf to pull from her head.
She jerked back, which only served to remove the scarf faster, and Jinchul stared.
Whatever had caused the curves on B.A.P.'s YoungJae had also softened the planes of his face, easing his jaw line. Jinchul could understand the fury that blazed from her (his?) eyes as she snatched the scarf back, could even understand the half-empty bottle of soju on the table in front of them.
"I'm not some horse at auction," YoungJae snapped, and started to get up.
Jinchul realized he'd been staring the whole time and shook his head even as he grabbed her wrist. "YoungJae," he murmured, and the woman across from him froze.
"Who...."
He pulled his cap off. "Jinon. F.Cuz," he said. "Or, if you prefer, Jinchul. I left Jinon back with the others."
YoungJae sagged back into her seat, elbows braced on the table, and Jinchul let her - her, with delicate wrists like that - go, pulling his cap back on. "This is insane," YoungJae mumbled.
"Yes," Jinchul said, and poured more of the alcohol into her glass. He'd need it, if he were in her position. "What happened?"
"I have no idea," she said, and gulped the alcohol down. "I've been hiding all day. I turned off my phone before noon. They won't stop calling...."
Jinchul could understand. YongGuk must be out of his mind. "Do they know?"
YoungJae shook her head emphatically. "No. No, that... No. Definitely not."
"What are you going to do?"
"Get very drunk - which I'm halfway to - and pass out."
Jinchul bit his lip. "Bad plan. Not to make it worse, but you're... delectable."
YoungJae scowled. "What?"
"Any man who isn't too drunk to notice is trying to figure out how to get you out of those clothes and into his bed. Those sweats don't hide enough."
YoungJae eyed him. "That 'any man' includes you."
Jinchul smiled wryly. "Until I knew who you were. Not that I could act on it, but yeah."
YoungJae sighed, poured more alcohol into her glass, and gulped it down. "So... take me home."
"I don't know where...." Jinchul started.
"No. To your place."
"Why?"
"Better than my place."
"How?"
"I can't face them," YoungJae said, sounding desperate. "I just... can't. I don't know what else to do." She poured another drink and gulped it down.
Jinchul nodded, then frowned. "Right. Okay. Let's go."
"Why?"
"Bottle's empty."
YoungJae scowled at it, then sighed. "Okay."
Jinchul helped her fix the scarf around her head again, and then escorted her out to the street. He waved down a taxi, giving the driver his address once they were inside. YoungJae leaned against him, shoulder to shoulder, and said nothing.
By the time they reached the apartment, YoungJae leaned pretty heavily on him. Jinchul got the door open, got them both out of shoes, and helped her into their tiny front room.
"Hyung?"
"Hey, YeJun. Do you mind letting RaeHyun share your bed tonight?"
YeJun just stared at him. Jinchul could feel his gaze on the back of his head as he walked YoungJae into the bedroom. The blond might have already passed out, Jinon didn't know and couldn't check. "Sure, yeah," YeJun finally said.
"Thanks."
"Now you're...." RaeHyun looked up from his game and stopped mid-sentence. "Um." He scrambled off his bed and pulled the covers back. "Here."
"Thanks," Jinchul said, and lay YoungJae down, covering her with RaeHyun's blanket. When he stood up again, he could feel his responsibility - his stage name and all that came with it - settle around his shoulders again.
"Who is that?" DaeGeon asked, looking down from his bunk, trying to see who Jinon had brought in.
"Let her sleep it off, okay?" Jinon said. "She's not very happy and is very drunk right now."
"Tempted?" Kan asked, smirking when Jinon turned around, almost face to face with him.
"Very," Jinon said. "You're all the best deterrent I could think of."
RaeHyun snickered. "Oh. Yeah."
"What's her name?" DaeGeon asked.
"I didn't ask." Jinon sighed. "So. Bed time. I think we have an early morning."
Groans sounded from each of them, but they didn't argue with him. Jinon went to get YeJun - because sometimes the magnae didn't move unless pushed - and to make sure all the lights were out. Once they were settled in bed and almost asleep, Jinon searched for YoungJae's phone, being very careful where he put his hands. When he did found it, he went into the kitchen and shut the door.
Finding YongGuk's number was easy. Every call and text YoungJae had gotten in the past 20 hours was from him, and there were a lot of them. Jinon braced himself, and dialed the number.
"Where the hell are you?" a deep voice growled over the line, worry and irritation and incomprehension lacing it.
"Hi. Sorry. YoungJae's asleep," Jinon said. "And very drunk."
YongGuk paused a moment. "Who is this?"
"Jinon, from F.cuz. I ran into YoungJae at a bar. He's here now, at our dorm, sleeping it off. He wouldn't tell me your address so I had to bring her here." He cringed at that mistake.
YongGuk paused. "He's okay?"
"I... don't know how to answer that. He downed a full bottle of Soju in about 45 minutes, so I'd say something bothered him."
"That's not like him."
"I didn't think so," Jinon said.
"He's asleep?"
"Passed out."
YongGuk hesitated. "You said her. So I wasn't mistaken this morning. Damn."
Jinon started. "You... know?"
YongGuk snorted. "I might have been half asleep, and he tried to hide it, but I bet you noticed how well that worked."
"Everyone in the bar noticed," Jinon told him.
"I was the only one up, though, so the others don't know. He thinks he got out without anyone seeing?"
"Yes. He's mortified. She is. She's incredibly attractive."
YongGuk laughed shortly. "Do something to make her cry, you're dead."
He'd figured that out. He'd feel the same way. "Couldn't think of a better deterrent than four other guys," Jinon admitted.
"Good. Call me in the morning. Or when he's sober again."
"Right. Sleep well." Jinon hung up and rubbed his face, then went to bed. He crawled in with YoungJae - carefully not touching her - and settled down with his back to her. It didn't take him long to fall asleep.
"You called him?" YoungJae demanded the next morning, glaring at Jinon across the table. It wasn't a very effective glare, though. She was still pretty hung over. The rest of the group hadn't gotten up yet, something Jinon had counted on.
"He was worried," Jinon told her, nudging the glass of water closer to her. "And he knows."
"Why'd you tell him?" YoungJae demanded, sounding a bit more desperate.
"I didn't. He saw you leave."
YoungJae groaned and dropped his head on the table. "I'm so screwed."
Jinon chuckled wryly. She was here so she wouldn't get screwed. "He threatened me."
"He what?" YoungJae asked, voice muffled.
"Told me that if I make you cry, I'm dead."
YoungJae sat up, staring at him. "He said that?"
"Yes," Jinon said. "You doubted him?"
YoungJae tilted her head. "You'd say the same?"
"If it happened to one of mine? Damn straight."
YoungJae narrowed his eyes. "What would you do? In my case? If it were one of them, I mean," he added, gesturing to where the others still slept.
Jinon bit his lip. "Find you some place with women, and let you stay there. You could hide with them easier."
YoungJae frowned. "Women?"
"Yeah. A girl group or something like that. Someone I trusted."
"Huh."
"So. Drink your water, go to bed, think on that, and let me know what you decide," Jinon said, gesturing at the water glass.
YoungJae sighed, drank the water down (looking very male while doing that, which was just... odd), and got to her feet. She'd taken maybe two steps before she stopped and wavered. "Wow. That's... I think I'm drunk again."
Jinon got up and grabbed her elbow before she could fall over. "Bad side effect of drinking water with dried alcohol in your system," he said, walking her into the bedroom. "But it'll help you feel better the next time you wake up."
"That sounds good," she slurred, and more or less collapsed back into RaeHyun's bed. Jinon covered her again, and set about getting the others up.
YoungJae woke up feeling at least a little better and well aware that the others (he had no idea even how many, sort of embarrassing) had gone. He sat up - no matter what this body was, he was still male in his head - and glanced around. He didn't remember much from this morning when he'd first woken up other than the conversation with... whoever he was, and even less of their arrival last night. Which was pretty much what he'd wanted in the first place.
He ventured out of the bedroom, marveling at how small the place was, and into the kitchen. On the table he found a piece of paper with his name on it, and picked it up.
Hey. I'm Jinon, in case you don't remember, with F.cuz. Just wanted to make sure you knew where you were, and how to get hold of me if you need to. I was serious about finding someone you could stay with, probably a girl - who knows how long you'll be like that, and you'll want to adjust or you'll go nuts. Call or text any time - you know the drill, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you go, leave me a note? Good luck.
He'd left the address of the place and his own phone number, and YoungJae frowned. He vaguely remembered... no, he'd said Jinchul. Jinon was the stage name, right....
He sat there for a moment, then pulled out his phone and stared at the number of calls, voice mail messages, and texts he had from YongGuk. There might be some from the others, but mostly from him, and he probably got more threatening and more profane as the day wore on. He bit his lip and deleted everything. Then he paused a moment. Girls. Women. He had no idea if they would even be up for it, but he needed to talk to someone, and he knew the women of Secret, at least a little bit. Certainly more than anyone else he could possibly think of.
First things first: he programmed Jinon's number into his phone. He had the feeling he'd need it. Then he started to check through his contacts, to see if he had HyoSung's number in his phone. Or anyone else's.
By some miracle, not only did he have it, she was free and took the call. That's when he froze. How to explain this?
"Um... Noona, I woke up yesterday morning a girl." Right....
He scribbled a note to Jinchul and headed out the door to catch a cab. She sounded... like she believed him, but that made no sense. On the other hand, Jinchul had recognized him, so who knew. On the third hand, none of this made sense. Giving the address to the cabbie, he settled into the back seat and tried to figure out how this had happened, and why, and what he needed to do to get himself back to normal.
As far as he knew, he hadn't offended any witch, hadn't said something he shouldn't have about women, didn't treat them badly, nothing like that, and by the time he reached the dorm, his head hurt and spun and he wanted another nap.
Maybe one that would last forever, at this point?
Hyosung took one look at him and yanked him into their dorm, then just gaped at him. "You're still tall."
YoungJae stared back at her. "Yes?"
She shook herself and tugged him - gentler, this time - into the front room. "Have you talked to YongGukkie?"
"No."
"Why not?"
YoungJae just looked at her, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. She sighed. "He's called me four or five times. He's really worried."
"I don't exactly sound like myself anymore," YoungJae finally said.
Hyosung grinned suddenly. "No, I guess you don't." She frowned. "We have to go soon, but...."
"I'll stay here, that's fine," YoungJae blurted, too fast to hide how desperate he was, and then flushed. "Sorry."
Hyosung patted his arm. "You can use my bed," she said. "You look like you could sleep."
"Please," YoungJae said.
Avoiding curious glances from the other three women, he collapsed on the bed Hyosung pointed out to him, and fell asleep before they left.
When they got home, Jinon found a note on the kitchen table. Thanks. Found a place to stay. I'll get in touch with you later. She signed it Jae. Close enough. Jinon put the note in his pocket with... a touch of regret. Still. This was better.
"Are you okay?" Kan asked later than evening.
Jinon turned to look at him. "What?"
"You're driving us all crazy, hyung," Kan told him. "Sit down somewhere."
Jinon shrugged and sat down next to him, for about a minute, and then got up again. Kan grabbed his arm and pulled him down. "Nope. Sit."
"So spill. Who is she?" YeJun asked.
DaeGeon turned off the TV. "The girl," he prompted at Jinon's blank look. "The one that slept in RaeHyun's bed."
"I know what girl," Jinon said, half amused. "She was someone who had... hit the bottle too hard. It hit back."
"She was pretty," RaeHyun said.
"Hot," Kan opined.
"You're not helping," Jinon said, and tried to get up again. Kan yanked him back to the couch. "I'd rather just forget."
YeJun bit his lip, something he did when he was trying not to laugh. "Smitten?"
"Or something," Jinon said. "And nothing I can do about it."
"You didn't get her number?" RaeHyun asked.
"Didn't ask."
"Why not?" DaeGeon demanded.
"I brought her here because she wanted to drink herself unconscious and I didn't want someone to take her home with him and make things worse. She won't associate me with anything good." Jinon regarded them, eyes narrowed. "That's my story. Can we drop it now?"
"If you can," RaeHyun said, and Jinon sighed.
It took three days for HyoSung to convince him to start to act like a girl. He resisted until she pointed out how easily his savior - she didn't know who had gotten him out of the bar - had known who he was and how lucky he was that the guy had been discrete. The clincher came when she told him he'd probably better stay in their dorm if he didn't learn.
That won him over. He'd already gotten twitchy because he couldn't get out. So he acquiesced to her suggestion and started to learn.
He didn't like it at all. There was so much. Somewhat embarrassingly, he found the make-up the easiest to adapt to. Her style was obviously different, but he decided he preferred it. The face in the mirror, after he'd done himself up, wasn't quite so disturbing. He looked like a girl, one that only vaguely resembled him, a shock very different from the first time he'd seen himself blond.
"It looks good," HyoSung said. The chorus of agreement that came from the doorway made him blush.
Still, he started to feel hemmed in, and about the time he thought he'd pull his hair out, the women told him to find someone to go out with and they'd help him dress. He agreed without considering what they might put him in.
So, all dressed up (literally, he about killed them all but he'd gotten desperate by now), ready to go out, Zinger stopped him. "You need a name."
"A... name."
"We can't just call you YoungJae, and neither can your date," JiEun agreed. "You need something else. A girl name."
"Can it be something like the one name I already have?" he asked.
SunHwa smiled. "Yes," she said. "NaYoung?"
"Perfect," HyoSung said, and kissed his cheek. "Have fun. Let me know when you get back."
YoungJae groaned. "You're as bad as hyung," he muttered, and they laughed. "I will."
Jinon's phone buzzed in his pocket one evening on the way home, and he looked at it, half awake.
Going crazy, can I see you?
He stared at his phone, brain finally kicking in. YoungJae?
Sure. When and where? he sent back.
"Who's that?" DaeGeon asked, and Jinon had to smile at how half asleep he seemed.
"Just a friend."
"What sort of friend?" DaeGeon asked, his voice slurring as he slipped further into sleep.
Jinon snorted. How to describe that? "An unexpected one."
An hour? The name of the restaurant was also familiar.
Yeah, he could do that. See you then.
"You're going out?" YeJun asked, stopping JinChul before he could get his shoes on.
"Meeting someone for dinner," JinChul said.
YeJun leaned closer. "Her?"
"What?"
"You're evasive. That means it's that woman."
How the hell did he catch on so fast? JinChul snorted. "I didn't think you knew that word."
YeJun stared at him. "What word?"
"Evasive."
JinChul got out the door before his long-time friend had quite recovered from that jab. He'd pay for it later - probably from all four of them - but later was later. Right now, he had a date.
YoungJae's time with whoever she'd been with had paid off. This did not bode well for JinChul's peace of mind. No concealing sweats this time, she wore a skirt that fell to mid-thigh, exposing shapely legs, and a nice blouse. Make up had further softened her face, giving her only a vague resemblance to the man she'd been.
So not good for his peace of mind.
She smiled when she caught sight of him, and that was worse. He smiled back anyway and offered her his arm. At least he had some warning; the place was upscale so he'd changed. "You look amazing," he said, and she blushed.
"Thanks. I'm still not used to this."
"Where have you been?" Jinchul asked when they were seated in a quiet corner.
"With Secret," she said. "They even gave me a new name. NaYoung."
JinChul smiled. "It fits. And it's been good for you."
Her lips twisted. "I wish it weren't necessary."
"I bet." JinChul played with his glass. "Have you talked to YongGuk yet?"
"No." NaYoung shook her head. "He still calls, but I haven't answered. I think one of the noo... um, unni's have, though. He's not calling as often."
JinChul stilled at that slip. Right. That was a huge adjustment.
The waitress arrived and they ordered; as soon as that was done, NaYoung relaxed a little. "Thank you for meeting me," she said. "I haven't been out in a while, and I was going stir crazy.
Jinchul smiled and sipped his water. "I'm glad I could help."
The dinner went smoothly. It helped, honestly, that she (he?) still slipped up sometimes, forgetting which term to use for people or just moved wrong, and it was pretty glaring that she never called him anything at all. Which... he could understand. She was in a really rough situation, and he didn't want to make it harder on her.
YoungJae - NaYoung - found out she enjoyed Jinchul's company and somewhat ruthlessly exploited his willingness to meet her. Each of their dates showed YoungJae how much he'd improved. He could tell when he'd messed up, because JinChul would go still for just a moment. Chances were, if he weren't so hyper-sensitive to him, YoungJae wouldn't even notice.
He could feel himself changing, though. His thoughts changed, even, because each time they met, F.Cuz's leader became more and more attractive. He had no idea what to even think of that, or about the ideas that occasionally came into his head. And... slowly, but surely, he became more of a she in her own mind.
"You look troubled," Jieun said softly from the kitchen doorway.
NaYoung (when had that changed in her head?) looked up from the glass she studied. "I can't sleep," she said. "Why are you up?"
"Can't sleep either." JiEun got herself a drink and sat down next to NaYoung. "What are you thinking about?"
"A... guy."
Jieun smiled. "Your savior."
"Yes," NaYoung said, playing with her glass the way she'd seen Jinchul do it. He never seemed to notice, needing something for his hands to do while the rest of his attention was on her. Wait. Not thinking about that. "I just... it's very confusing."
"What is?"
"He's really good looking. Not even really pretty, but handsome." She had to bite her lip to stop.
JiEun took a drink of her water. "A change, then."
"Yes. Is this even good?"
JiEun smiled. "How could it be bad?"
NaYoung gaped at her. "How? How could it be good?" she asked, and thumped her head on the table.
JiEun laughed softly. "Well, I think it means things are progressing nicely."
NaYoung sat up again. "I don't know if I want them progressing that far," she murmured. "It's sort of... disturbing.
"How far?" Jieun asked.
"I don't know. I don't look at guys."
Jieun touched her arm. "YoungJae didn't. It's okay for NaYoung to. People will think you're weird if you don't."
"I think I'm weird if I do," NaYoung muttered, and sighed. "It's really okay?"
"I think so," JiEun said. "But you'll have to decide if it is for you."
NaYoung sighed again. Couldn't someone decide all these things for her?
The rest of F.Cuz adjusted to Jinchul randomly vanishing one or two evenings a week - when he could - and then working himself (and sometimes them) into exhaustion as the slips NaYoung made came less and less, the maleness of YoungJae fading away. It started to make their time together really uncomfortable, at least for him. It came as a complete surprise when JinChul realized that he couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone as much as he wanted NaYoung. He knew he'd regret it if he did anything (in the form of B.A.P.'s leader going insane, among other things), so he kept himself firmly under control. He couldn't tell how much of what she did was purely accidental and how much was calculated to drive him crazy, and he spent nights trying to figure it out - since going to sleep as soon as he got home became impossible.
Jinchul was just glad that, no matter what the rest of the group might have thought, they didn't tease him about it, and he managed not to scream his frustration. Somehow. Working himself into the ground every night... sort of helped.
It surprised him that they never seemed to run out of things to talk about, even once they got off the topic of music and away from the restaurant. That didn't happen often, he usually didn't have time, but tonight was an exception. The night was nice, and he suggested a walk. The park was beautiful in the moonlight, NaYoung no less so. He'd apparently miscalculated, though, because she pressed against his arm, shivering, so he put it and his jacket around her.
She turned her head to look at him. "Thanks," she said, and he froze, noticing just how close they were. Not that he didn't even not notice. She was always close.
"You're welcome. Um...." How to ask this without freaking her out? Or... freaking out the man she used to be? This was getting confusing.
"Yes?" Her breath brushed across his cheek and he swallowed.
"Are you trying to drive me crazy?"
She stepped in front of him, making him stop, pressing herself against him, still shivering. Her arms lay loosely around his waist, and he put his around her in reflex. "Am I?"
"Yes," Jinchul said, not sure how his voice didn't squeak or anything else embarrassing. "So far the guys haven't killed me, but...."
NaYoung smiled. "But?"
"I'm sure it's coming."
"So, kiss me and make it worth whatever they do to you."
Jinchul stared at her, eyes wide. He hadn't expected that. "Kiss you?"
"Or do more," she said, sounding reasonable. "There's a love hotel not too far from here."
If six week ago she hadn't been YoungJae, he might have taken her up on it. She'd adjusted almost completely, but still, she made mistakes, if so much less that he wouldn't notice if he didn't know. She shivered against him, and Jinchul almost said yes. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," he said instead.
"Why not?" She still sounded reasonable.
"Because you're not you. Not exactly yourself." He could barely think.
"I am me," NaYoung said, frustrated.
"Yes," Jinchul murmured. "But I still... I can't do that to you."
"Do what?"
Jinchul didn't know why he didn't push her away, except that she still shivered. "You don't know if you're YoungJae or NaYoung," he said. "Or even which you want to be."
"I just want someone to choose for me," she insisted.
Jinchul hugged her tighter. "I know. But they can't." I can't. I won't.
NaYoung rested her head on his shoulder - something she did when they were waiting together - and relaxed. It took JinChul a moment to realize she was crying. "I'm sorry," he murmured, and then just held her in silence.
She pulled herself together a while later, lifting her head from his shoulder. "I should go," she murmured without looking at him.
"Can I get you a cab?" Jinchul asked.
"Please." NaYoung pulled away from him and JinCHul let her go, offering his arm. She took it and they walked through the park to the street. She kept her head down, and he walked on her left side, so he couldn't see even part of her face. JinChul waved down a cab, in a daze that he didn't quite understand. He opened the door for her and she handed him his jacket before climbing in. "Do you ever get tired of being a gentleman?" she asked, and pulled the door closed herself. The cab pulled away from the curb and he watched it go until it blended into the rest of the cars and he lost sight of it.
"Yes," he murmured. He pulled his jacket on and stuck his hands in the pockets, head hanging as he headed for home.
Inside, he hung up his jacket, kicked his shoes off, and padded into the bedroom. He sat down on YeJun's bed - this was one time he wished he had his own - and rubbed his face.
"What happened?" Kan asked from the upper bunk on the other bed.
"I made her cry," Jinchul mumbled.
"Why?"
JinChul snorted and got up. "Being too much of a gentleman. Can you get the others to bed? I'm going to take a shower."
"Sure." Kan started to climb down. "Hot or cold?"
JinChul groaned, grabbed his towel, and left.
To part two
Author me
Rating PG
Warnings Gender swap (but no mpreg)
Summary The girl Jinchul meets at the bar is not exactly who she seems. Sort of.
Author's Note This totally came from a meme I did a few weeks ago (see it here, number 18). I wrote that, and... this happened. Also - for those of you not familiar with F.Cuz, Jinon is JinChul's stage name - I did it this way because it seemed to be a way for him to keep sane.
Part 1
The dimness of the bar gave Kim Jinchul exactly the cover he'd hoped for, and he took his drink to a small table in the back to keep from any lights that might give him away. He pulled his baseball cap lower to hide his face and to cover the give-away stripe of blond in his hair. He'd left Jinon back in the dorm; YeJun and Kan knew to cover for him, and DaeGeon and RaeHyun would learn. He just needed a break, to be himself - not his stage name - for a bit. They'd understand soon enough.
"Mind if I join you?"
He looked up to realize that the place had filled up, and the other chair at his table was the only one left. "No," he said, before taking in the curves unsuccessfully hidden under sweats and a bulky sweater, hair and face obfuscated by a scarf. "Sit down."
She did, setting down a bottle of Soju and a glass for it. "Just... don't talk to me," she said quietly, and he frowned, the voice vaguely familiar. He didn't press her, though, nodding his agreement because he understood the need for privacy. Or, at least, the illusion of it.
The problem was, she drank like a man. Not in capacity (he knew women who could and had drunk him under the table), no, but the movements, the way she sat, everything (except the curves and the voice) proclaimed man. He watched her out of the corner of his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of her face under the scarf. All he got was a flash of platinum blond hair near her left eye, but even that.... It all fell into place, and he reacted before he realized just how ridiculous a thought it was (he must have drunk more than he thought), grasping the scarf to pull from her head.
She jerked back, which only served to remove the scarf faster, and Jinchul stared.
Whatever had caused the curves on B.A.P.'s YoungJae had also softened the planes of his face, easing his jaw line. Jinchul could understand the fury that blazed from her (his?) eyes as she snatched the scarf back, could even understand the half-empty bottle of soju on the table in front of them.
"I'm not some horse at auction," YoungJae snapped, and started to get up.
Jinchul realized he'd been staring the whole time and shook his head even as he grabbed her wrist. "YoungJae," he murmured, and the woman across from him froze.
"Who...."
He pulled his cap off. "Jinon. F.Cuz," he said. "Or, if you prefer, Jinchul. I left Jinon back with the others."
YoungJae sagged back into her seat, elbows braced on the table, and Jinchul let her - her, with delicate wrists like that - go, pulling his cap back on. "This is insane," YoungJae mumbled.
"Yes," Jinchul said, and poured more of the alcohol into her glass. He'd need it, if he were in her position. "What happened?"
"I have no idea," she said, and gulped the alcohol down. "I've been hiding all day. I turned off my phone before noon. They won't stop calling...."
Jinchul could understand. YongGuk must be out of his mind. "Do they know?"
YoungJae shook her head emphatically. "No. No, that... No. Definitely not."
"What are you going to do?"
"Get very drunk - which I'm halfway to - and pass out."
Jinchul bit his lip. "Bad plan. Not to make it worse, but you're... delectable."
YoungJae scowled. "What?"
"Any man who isn't too drunk to notice is trying to figure out how to get you out of those clothes and into his bed. Those sweats don't hide enough."
YoungJae eyed him. "That 'any man' includes you."
Jinchul smiled wryly. "Until I knew who you were. Not that I could act on it, but yeah."
YoungJae sighed, poured more alcohol into her glass, and gulped it down. "So... take me home."
"I don't know where...." Jinchul started.
"No. To your place."
"Why?"
"Better than my place."
"How?"
"I can't face them," YoungJae said, sounding desperate. "I just... can't. I don't know what else to do." She poured another drink and gulped it down.
Jinchul nodded, then frowned. "Right. Okay. Let's go."
"Why?"
"Bottle's empty."
YoungJae scowled at it, then sighed. "Okay."
Jinchul helped her fix the scarf around her head again, and then escorted her out to the street. He waved down a taxi, giving the driver his address once they were inside. YoungJae leaned against him, shoulder to shoulder, and said nothing.
By the time they reached the apartment, YoungJae leaned pretty heavily on him. Jinchul got the door open, got them both out of shoes, and helped her into their tiny front room.
"Hyung?"
"Hey, YeJun. Do you mind letting RaeHyun share your bed tonight?"
YeJun just stared at him. Jinchul could feel his gaze on the back of his head as he walked YoungJae into the bedroom. The blond might have already passed out, Jinon didn't know and couldn't check. "Sure, yeah," YeJun finally said.
"Thanks."
"Now you're...." RaeHyun looked up from his game and stopped mid-sentence. "Um." He scrambled off his bed and pulled the covers back. "Here."
"Thanks," Jinchul said, and lay YoungJae down, covering her with RaeHyun's blanket. When he stood up again, he could feel his responsibility - his stage name and all that came with it - settle around his shoulders again.
"Who is that?" DaeGeon asked, looking down from his bunk, trying to see who Jinon had brought in.
"Let her sleep it off, okay?" Jinon said. "She's not very happy and is very drunk right now."
"Tempted?" Kan asked, smirking when Jinon turned around, almost face to face with him.
"Very," Jinon said. "You're all the best deterrent I could think of."
RaeHyun snickered. "Oh. Yeah."
"What's her name?" DaeGeon asked.
"I didn't ask." Jinon sighed. "So. Bed time. I think we have an early morning."
Groans sounded from each of them, but they didn't argue with him. Jinon went to get YeJun - because sometimes the magnae didn't move unless pushed - and to make sure all the lights were out. Once they were settled in bed and almost asleep, Jinon searched for YoungJae's phone, being very careful where he put his hands. When he did found it, he went into the kitchen and shut the door.
Finding YongGuk's number was easy. Every call and text YoungJae had gotten in the past 20 hours was from him, and there were a lot of them. Jinon braced himself, and dialed the number.
"Where the hell are you?" a deep voice growled over the line, worry and irritation and incomprehension lacing it.
"Hi. Sorry. YoungJae's asleep," Jinon said. "And very drunk."
YongGuk paused a moment. "Who is this?"
"Jinon, from F.cuz. I ran into YoungJae at a bar. He's here now, at our dorm, sleeping it off. He wouldn't tell me your address so I had to bring her here." He cringed at that mistake.
YongGuk paused. "He's okay?"
"I... don't know how to answer that. He downed a full bottle of Soju in about 45 minutes, so I'd say something bothered him."
"That's not like him."
"I didn't think so," Jinon said.
"He's asleep?"
"Passed out."
YongGuk hesitated. "You said her. So I wasn't mistaken this morning. Damn."
Jinon started. "You... know?"
YongGuk snorted. "I might have been half asleep, and he tried to hide it, but I bet you noticed how well that worked."
"Everyone in the bar noticed," Jinon told him.
"I was the only one up, though, so the others don't know. He thinks he got out without anyone seeing?"
"Yes. He's mortified. She is. She's incredibly attractive."
YongGuk laughed shortly. "Do something to make her cry, you're dead."
He'd figured that out. He'd feel the same way. "Couldn't think of a better deterrent than four other guys," Jinon admitted.
"Good. Call me in the morning. Or when he's sober again."
"Right. Sleep well." Jinon hung up and rubbed his face, then went to bed. He crawled in with YoungJae - carefully not touching her - and settled down with his back to her. It didn't take him long to fall asleep.
"You called him?" YoungJae demanded the next morning, glaring at Jinon across the table. It wasn't a very effective glare, though. She was still pretty hung over. The rest of the group hadn't gotten up yet, something Jinon had counted on.
"He was worried," Jinon told her, nudging the glass of water closer to her. "And he knows."
"Why'd you tell him?" YoungJae demanded, sounding a bit more desperate.
"I didn't. He saw you leave."
YoungJae groaned and dropped his head on the table. "I'm so screwed."
Jinon chuckled wryly. She was here so she wouldn't get screwed. "He threatened me."
"He what?" YoungJae asked, voice muffled.
"Told me that if I make you cry, I'm dead."
YoungJae sat up, staring at him. "He said that?"
"Yes," Jinon said. "You doubted him?"
YoungJae tilted her head. "You'd say the same?"
"If it happened to one of mine? Damn straight."
YoungJae narrowed his eyes. "What would you do? In my case? If it were one of them, I mean," he added, gesturing to where the others still slept.
Jinon bit his lip. "Find you some place with women, and let you stay there. You could hide with them easier."
YoungJae frowned. "Women?"
"Yeah. A girl group or something like that. Someone I trusted."
"Huh."
"So. Drink your water, go to bed, think on that, and let me know what you decide," Jinon said, gesturing at the water glass.
YoungJae sighed, drank the water down (looking very male while doing that, which was just... odd), and got to her feet. She'd taken maybe two steps before she stopped and wavered. "Wow. That's... I think I'm drunk again."
Jinon got up and grabbed her elbow before she could fall over. "Bad side effect of drinking water with dried alcohol in your system," he said, walking her into the bedroom. "But it'll help you feel better the next time you wake up."
"That sounds good," she slurred, and more or less collapsed back into RaeHyun's bed. Jinon covered her again, and set about getting the others up.
YoungJae woke up feeling at least a little better and well aware that the others (he had no idea even how many, sort of embarrassing) had gone. He sat up - no matter what this body was, he was still male in his head - and glanced around. He didn't remember much from this morning when he'd first woken up other than the conversation with... whoever he was, and even less of their arrival last night. Which was pretty much what he'd wanted in the first place.
He ventured out of the bedroom, marveling at how small the place was, and into the kitchen. On the table he found a piece of paper with his name on it, and picked it up.
Hey. I'm Jinon, in case you don't remember, with F.cuz. Just wanted to make sure you knew where you were, and how to get hold of me if you need to. I was serious about finding someone you could stay with, probably a girl - who knows how long you'll be like that, and you'll want to adjust or you'll go nuts. Call or text any time - you know the drill, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. If you go, leave me a note? Good luck.
He'd left the address of the place and his own phone number, and YoungJae frowned. He vaguely remembered... no, he'd said Jinchul. Jinon was the stage name, right....
He sat there for a moment, then pulled out his phone and stared at the number of calls, voice mail messages, and texts he had from YongGuk. There might be some from the others, but mostly from him, and he probably got more threatening and more profane as the day wore on. He bit his lip and deleted everything. Then he paused a moment. Girls. Women. He had no idea if they would even be up for it, but he needed to talk to someone, and he knew the women of Secret, at least a little bit. Certainly more than anyone else he could possibly think of.
First things first: he programmed Jinon's number into his phone. He had the feeling he'd need it. Then he started to check through his contacts, to see if he had HyoSung's number in his phone. Or anyone else's.
By some miracle, not only did he have it, she was free and took the call. That's when he froze. How to explain this?
"Um... Noona, I woke up yesterday morning a girl." Right....
He scribbled a note to Jinchul and headed out the door to catch a cab. She sounded... like she believed him, but that made no sense. On the other hand, Jinchul had recognized him, so who knew. On the third hand, none of this made sense. Giving the address to the cabbie, he settled into the back seat and tried to figure out how this had happened, and why, and what he needed to do to get himself back to normal.
As far as he knew, he hadn't offended any witch, hadn't said something he shouldn't have about women, didn't treat them badly, nothing like that, and by the time he reached the dorm, his head hurt and spun and he wanted another nap.
Maybe one that would last forever, at this point?
Hyosung took one look at him and yanked him into their dorm, then just gaped at him. "You're still tall."
YoungJae stared back at her. "Yes?"
She shook herself and tugged him - gentler, this time - into the front room. "Have you talked to YongGukkie?"
"No."
"Why not?"
YoungJae just looked at her, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. She sighed. "He's called me four or five times. He's really worried."
"I don't exactly sound like myself anymore," YoungJae finally said.
Hyosung grinned suddenly. "No, I guess you don't." She frowned. "We have to go soon, but...."
"I'll stay here, that's fine," YoungJae blurted, too fast to hide how desperate he was, and then flushed. "Sorry."
Hyosung patted his arm. "You can use my bed," she said. "You look like you could sleep."
"Please," YoungJae said.
Avoiding curious glances from the other three women, he collapsed on the bed Hyosung pointed out to him, and fell asleep before they left.
When they got home, Jinon found a note on the kitchen table. Thanks. Found a place to stay. I'll get in touch with you later. She signed it Jae. Close enough. Jinon put the note in his pocket with... a touch of regret. Still. This was better.
"Are you okay?" Kan asked later than evening.
Jinon turned to look at him. "What?"
"You're driving us all crazy, hyung," Kan told him. "Sit down somewhere."
Jinon shrugged and sat down next to him, for about a minute, and then got up again. Kan grabbed his arm and pulled him down. "Nope. Sit."
"So spill. Who is she?" YeJun asked.
DaeGeon turned off the TV. "The girl," he prompted at Jinon's blank look. "The one that slept in RaeHyun's bed."
"I know what girl," Jinon said, half amused. "She was someone who had... hit the bottle too hard. It hit back."
"She was pretty," RaeHyun said.
"Hot," Kan opined.
"You're not helping," Jinon said, and tried to get up again. Kan yanked him back to the couch. "I'd rather just forget."
YeJun bit his lip, something he did when he was trying not to laugh. "Smitten?"
"Or something," Jinon said. "And nothing I can do about it."
"You didn't get her number?" RaeHyun asked.
"Didn't ask."
"Why not?" DaeGeon demanded.
"I brought her here because she wanted to drink herself unconscious and I didn't want someone to take her home with him and make things worse. She won't associate me with anything good." Jinon regarded them, eyes narrowed. "That's my story. Can we drop it now?"
"If you can," RaeHyun said, and Jinon sighed.
It took three days for HyoSung to convince him to start to act like a girl. He resisted until she pointed out how easily his savior - she didn't know who had gotten him out of the bar - had known who he was and how lucky he was that the guy had been discrete. The clincher came when she told him he'd probably better stay in their dorm if he didn't learn.
That won him over. He'd already gotten twitchy because he couldn't get out. So he acquiesced to her suggestion and started to learn.
He didn't like it at all. There was so much. Somewhat embarrassingly, he found the make-up the easiest to adapt to. Her style was obviously different, but he decided he preferred it. The face in the mirror, after he'd done himself up, wasn't quite so disturbing. He looked like a girl, one that only vaguely resembled him, a shock very different from the first time he'd seen himself blond.
"It looks good," HyoSung said. The chorus of agreement that came from the doorway made him blush.
Still, he started to feel hemmed in, and about the time he thought he'd pull his hair out, the women told him to find someone to go out with and they'd help him dress. He agreed without considering what they might put him in.
So, all dressed up (literally, he about killed them all but he'd gotten desperate by now), ready to go out, Zinger stopped him. "You need a name."
"A... name."
"We can't just call you YoungJae, and neither can your date," JiEun agreed. "You need something else. A girl name."
"Can it be something like the one name I already have?" he asked.
SunHwa smiled. "Yes," she said. "NaYoung?"
"Perfect," HyoSung said, and kissed his cheek. "Have fun. Let me know when you get back."
YoungJae groaned. "You're as bad as hyung," he muttered, and they laughed. "I will."
Jinon's phone buzzed in his pocket one evening on the way home, and he looked at it, half awake.
Going crazy, can I see you?
He stared at his phone, brain finally kicking in. YoungJae?
Sure. When and where? he sent back.
"Who's that?" DaeGeon asked, and Jinon had to smile at how half asleep he seemed.
"Just a friend."
"What sort of friend?" DaeGeon asked, his voice slurring as he slipped further into sleep.
Jinon snorted. How to describe that? "An unexpected one."
An hour? The name of the restaurant was also familiar.
Yeah, he could do that. See you then.
"You're going out?" YeJun asked, stopping JinChul before he could get his shoes on.
"Meeting someone for dinner," JinChul said.
YeJun leaned closer. "Her?"
"What?"
"You're evasive. That means it's that woman."
How the hell did he catch on so fast? JinChul snorted. "I didn't think you knew that word."
YeJun stared at him. "What word?"
"Evasive."
JinChul got out the door before his long-time friend had quite recovered from that jab. He'd pay for it later - probably from all four of them - but later was later. Right now, he had a date.
YoungJae's time with whoever she'd been with had paid off. This did not bode well for JinChul's peace of mind. No concealing sweats this time, she wore a skirt that fell to mid-thigh, exposing shapely legs, and a nice blouse. Make up had further softened her face, giving her only a vague resemblance to the man she'd been.
So not good for his peace of mind.
She smiled when she caught sight of him, and that was worse. He smiled back anyway and offered her his arm. At least he had some warning; the place was upscale so he'd changed. "You look amazing," he said, and she blushed.
"Thanks. I'm still not used to this."
"Where have you been?" Jinchul asked when they were seated in a quiet corner.
"With Secret," she said. "They even gave me a new name. NaYoung."
JinChul smiled. "It fits. And it's been good for you."
Her lips twisted. "I wish it weren't necessary."
"I bet." JinChul played with his glass. "Have you talked to YongGuk yet?"
"No." NaYoung shook her head. "He still calls, but I haven't answered. I think one of the noo... um, unni's have, though. He's not calling as often."
JinChul stilled at that slip. Right. That was a huge adjustment.
The waitress arrived and they ordered; as soon as that was done, NaYoung relaxed a little. "Thank you for meeting me," she said. "I haven't been out in a while, and I was going stir crazy.
Jinchul smiled and sipped his water. "I'm glad I could help."
The dinner went smoothly. It helped, honestly, that she (he?) still slipped up sometimes, forgetting which term to use for people or just moved wrong, and it was pretty glaring that she never called him anything at all. Which... he could understand. She was in a really rough situation, and he didn't want to make it harder on her.
YoungJae - NaYoung - found out she enjoyed Jinchul's company and somewhat ruthlessly exploited his willingness to meet her. Each of their dates showed YoungJae how much he'd improved. He could tell when he'd messed up, because JinChul would go still for just a moment. Chances were, if he weren't so hyper-sensitive to him, YoungJae wouldn't even notice.
He could feel himself changing, though. His thoughts changed, even, because each time they met, F.Cuz's leader became more and more attractive. He had no idea what to even think of that, or about the ideas that occasionally came into his head. And... slowly, but surely, he became more of a she in her own mind.
"You look troubled," Jieun said softly from the kitchen doorway.
NaYoung (when had that changed in her head?) looked up from the glass she studied. "I can't sleep," she said. "Why are you up?"
"Can't sleep either." JiEun got herself a drink and sat down next to NaYoung. "What are you thinking about?"
"A... guy."
Jieun smiled. "Your savior."
"Yes," NaYoung said, playing with her glass the way she'd seen Jinchul do it. He never seemed to notice, needing something for his hands to do while the rest of his attention was on her. Wait. Not thinking about that. "I just... it's very confusing."
"What is?"
"He's really good looking. Not even really pretty, but handsome." She had to bite her lip to stop.
JiEun took a drink of her water. "A change, then."
"Yes. Is this even good?"
JiEun smiled. "How could it be bad?"
NaYoung gaped at her. "How? How could it be good?" she asked, and thumped her head on the table.
JiEun laughed softly. "Well, I think it means things are progressing nicely."
NaYoung sat up again. "I don't know if I want them progressing that far," she murmured. "It's sort of... disturbing.
"How far?" Jieun asked.
"I don't know. I don't look at guys."
Jieun touched her arm. "YoungJae didn't. It's okay for NaYoung to. People will think you're weird if you don't."
"I think I'm weird if I do," NaYoung muttered, and sighed. "It's really okay?"
"I think so," JiEun said. "But you'll have to decide if it is for you."
NaYoung sighed again. Couldn't someone decide all these things for her?
The rest of F.Cuz adjusted to Jinchul randomly vanishing one or two evenings a week - when he could - and then working himself (and sometimes them) into exhaustion as the slips NaYoung made came less and less, the maleness of YoungJae fading away. It started to make their time together really uncomfortable, at least for him. It came as a complete surprise when JinChul realized that he couldn't remember the last time he wanted someone as much as he wanted NaYoung. He knew he'd regret it if he did anything (in the form of B.A.P.'s leader going insane, among other things), so he kept himself firmly under control. He couldn't tell how much of what she did was purely accidental and how much was calculated to drive him crazy, and he spent nights trying to figure it out - since going to sleep as soon as he got home became impossible.
Jinchul was just glad that, no matter what the rest of the group might have thought, they didn't tease him about it, and he managed not to scream his frustration. Somehow. Working himself into the ground every night... sort of helped.
It surprised him that they never seemed to run out of things to talk about, even once they got off the topic of music and away from the restaurant. That didn't happen often, he usually didn't have time, but tonight was an exception. The night was nice, and he suggested a walk. The park was beautiful in the moonlight, NaYoung no less so. He'd apparently miscalculated, though, because she pressed against his arm, shivering, so he put it and his jacket around her.
She turned her head to look at him. "Thanks," she said, and he froze, noticing just how close they were. Not that he didn't even not notice. She was always close.
"You're welcome. Um...." How to ask this without freaking her out? Or... freaking out the man she used to be? This was getting confusing.
"Yes?" Her breath brushed across his cheek and he swallowed.
"Are you trying to drive me crazy?"
She stepped in front of him, making him stop, pressing herself against him, still shivering. Her arms lay loosely around his waist, and he put his around her in reflex. "Am I?"
"Yes," Jinchul said, not sure how his voice didn't squeak or anything else embarrassing. "So far the guys haven't killed me, but...."
NaYoung smiled. "But?"
"I'm sure it's coming."
"So, kiss me and make it worth whatever they do to you."
Jinchul stared at her, eyes wide. He hadn't expected that. "Kiss you?"
"Or do more," she said, sounding reasonable. "There's a love hotel not too far from here."
If six week ago she hadn't been YoungJae, he might have taken her up on it. She'd adjusted almost completely, but still, she made mistakes, if so much less that he wouldn't notice if he didn't know. She shivered against him, and Jinchul almost said yes. "I'm not sure that's a good idea," he said instead.
"Why not?" She still sounded reasonable.
"Because you're not you. Not exactly yourself." He could barely think.
"I am me," NaYoung said, frustrated.
"Yes," Jinchul murmured. "But I still... I can't do that to you."
"Do what?"
Jinchul didn't know why he didn't push her away, except that she still shivered. "You don't know if you're YoungJae or NaYoung," he said. "Or even which you want to be."
"I just want someone to choose for me," she insisted.
Jinchul hugged her tighter. "I know. But they can't." I can't. I won't.
NaYoung rested her head on his shoulder - something she did when they were waiting together - and relaxed. It took JinChul a moment to realize she was crying. "I'm sorry," he murmured, and then just held her in silence.
She pulled herself together a while later, lifting her head from his shoulder. "I should go," she murmured without looking at him.
"Can I get you a cab?" Jinchul asked.
"Please." NaYoung pulled away from him and JinCHul let her go, offering his arm. She took it and they walked through the park to the street. She kept her head down, and he walked on her left side, so he couldn't see even part of her face. JinChul waved down a cab, in a daze that he didn't quite understand. He opened the door for her and she handed him his jacket before climbing in. "Do you ever get tired of being a gentleman?" she asked, and pulled the door closed herself. The cab pulled away from the curb and he watched it go until it blended into the rest of the cars and he lost sight of it.
"Yes," he murmured. He pulled his jacket on and stuck his hands in the pockets, head hanging as he headed for home.
Inside, he hung up his jacket, kicked his shoes off, and padded into the bedroom. He sat down on YeJun's bed - this was one time he wished he had his own - and rubbed his face.
"What happened?" Kan asked from the upper bunk on the other bed.
"I made her cry," Jinchul mumbled.
"Why?"
JinChul snorted and got up. "Being too much of a gentleman. Can you get the others to bed? I'm going to take a shower."
"Sure." Kan started to climb down. "Hot or cold?"
JinChul groaned, grabbed his towel, and left.
To part two