Apparently....

[anderson_crook]

I'm returning to all of this.......

Comments

in theory

[pasulel]

but it's more a state of mind. i think you should speak it anyways. hope your rockin carbondale.

i'm gonna start a seconday live journal here

[pasulel]

if you don't start sharing your thoughts. I hate bothering you but i wanna know how you're doin, and hey, i got a third professor to do a letter, that means i have to descend to the next circle of hell for those who were overly eager in life.
i'm serious about spamming thoughts i hold dear here. this will become the epitome of whiny blogging, and no one will care, which will only add to the effect. i'm just sayin, you use face book, it's something to do.
if my demands are not met, i will post again by the morrow.

or maybe now

[pasulel]

i forgot you might not have internet, still, threat threat, apology, bitch, moan bitch bitch, apology, moan, pass out. sound about right?

ah ha

[pasulel]

in any case, it requires that you live nowhere, the city lights kill the night sky. then you can see the stars as though they were millions of light years away instead of points in a two dimensional field. you feel infinity. it looks like God. on a dark night one can see great things. during the summer, last night, on a hot night when the fireflies are out they hover over the fields and look like stars going nova all over the place. the sky lingers over the night and everything seems like part of one.

and so it goes

[pasulel]

grad school is a bitch. one of the requirements is an analytical paper but i hate analytical papers and was never very good at them. i also have to get in contact with the department i want to apply to, god. tonight i'm hanging out with suit but my dad is having this party thing for his company which my sister is also a part of and i wish he could come here for a while, maybe bring jason or james. i ordered Red Harvest, Short Stories by J. G. Ballard, and music, and le samourai and some other stuff off amazon. i'm going to look up motorcycles now.

it was good talking to you

[pasulel]

though i will continue this ventriloquist act. i am not smart, just enough to be different, but not enough to make a difference. you are smart too. please understand. i have more limitations. you are the better person, i don't say so out of modesty or humility but out of acknowledgment. i perceive though, i am a poet because of the way i see the world, it's a way of life, not a profession, and here are several things. suit says i shouldn't get a masters degree as i haven't earned it yet i note his needless embarrassment (not right word) for not having some bullshit degree himself. he is smarter than any one of us, and it's only a piece of paper. i can name him so many authors, have read so many books, write like it's part of who i am, and i think that i deserve a master's in english were i to get one. he becomes flustered and says i don't deserve him but translate it in my mind and sift the anger at institutions from the care about me and how i truly haven't done much and fear my lack of any desire to. tone, words, timing,