(no subject)
I got so weird lately. It started about a week before me and Kyle broke up. I changed. Everything I saw was somehow different. Nothing was simple anymore. All things were full of drama and everything was being blown out of proprtion. I started to care more what people thought about me. In little moments I would catch myself being the opposite of what I had always been....fake. Nothing was the same anymore, not even my relationship with him so I ended it. I don't regret it because I still feel like it was the right thing to do. But after that I went downhill. I try to live life with few regrets and in a way that God would be proud of. But this past month has been the full of regretful things and sin. The whole time I knew it was wrong but I couldn't change it because somehow I thought it was going somewhere, leading me to bigger and better things when in fact it let me to a dead end. I did things I didn't think I would do that easily. I let words get away with me. I let what I think others thought about me rule my life instead of caring about what God thought about me or even what I thought about myself. And worst of all I got away from Him. I never prayed, I never seeked his will in anything, I quit going to church. I talked about people. I was a big fat dumb head. But then, I don't know what happened. I went to church Wedsnesday for the first time in a long time and thought about everything. I have something in me that wants to reach people so bad for God and I can't do that if I'm not living my own life for him. I kept saying I didn't want drama but I brought it in in everyway. And now I am back. I'm here to me again and that makes me way happy because there's no one else I'd rather be. And to you, please can we try. Try to be friends.
So that was an extremely long post and if you read it all then thanks. If not, I don't blame you.
Explosions in the sky is the best thing in the whole wide world. It makes me cry, and be happy and think. And type really long posts.
Theres somewhat of a show on the 26th. Except there are no bands.Um, no screaming or pitting. But there are puppets, and a choir and a girl named Jessica with a solo.