SOME RELATIONSHP STUFF
OKAY MUCH LIKE KIRA'S ESSAY. This is going to cover a few of Ticky's major relationships and his thoughts on them. WITHIN: Shigure, Devit, Mika, Allen, Roy.
Ticky on Shigure- Progressively more likely.
Shigure's a hard one. I won't bother to retrack everything that has happened, I'm pretty sure he's consistently mentioned in most of my past essays. LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE NOW.
Ticky loves Shigure. Like. Really. He's not IN love with him (infact, anything beyond platonic love doesn't exist for Ticky. Yes he can have platonic love while still wanting to fuck it) but he does genuinely care about him in his crazy Ticky way.
For Ticky, at least, it really doesn't have anything to do with the body switch anymore. That initially made Shigure interesting to him in a sort of unplaceable way, but it didn't make him emotionally attached. And the key is... Ticky IS capable of emotional attachment! It's a huge portion of his character, really. He's not REALLY CLINGY OR AFFECTIONATE. But if you didn't get that Ticky genuinely cares for both the people in his white life and his black, you're missing two very large points. He's still a logical, aloof, zen kinda guy and is almost physically incapable of regret, which means even if the people he cares about DO die he can't... feel for it the same way I normal person would. But he is aware of the absence of that feeling and inspite of the absense of it he can still have a certain level of actual caring!
But. It's his black life, he's crazy, and one of the major points of their relationship is that Shigure KNOWS PRETTY MUCH JUST HOW CRAZY TICKY IS so Ticky doesn't really make any pretense to appears otherwise anymore. He just... exists as he is and doesn't block Shigure off from much of it other than the part of him that wants to kill Shigure and Ticky does that more for himself than Shigure. (if he's saying things like "I won't kill your family" or "I'll leave you alone for a while", that's for Shigure). So! Ticky does care, but Ticky also isn't limiting his crazy like he does in his White life, or redirecting it or distracting himself from it. On one level it has the Mika Effect of "I can be however I want around this person and that feels good" only Ticky can't really FUCK WITH Mika. And uh. Fucking with people is fun. Fucking with people he likes is more fun. He can fuck with Shigure all he likes and he likes Shigure ERGO. He has a lot of fun with Shigure.
It's very hard to explain Ticky's particular brand of being able to really care about and like a person while still feeling absolutely guiltless about knowingly fucking with their lives. Ticky is NOT without sympathy. He's intelligent, formerly human, and empathic enough that he really DOES realize what he's doing to Shigure most of the time. He recognizes that it's a bad situation, that Shigure got himself into it to an extent, but that he probably doesn't deserve the hand he's been dealt. AS A FRIEND he genuinely does sympathize! As the crazy fucker who is DOING THIS ALL TO HIM AND HAVING FUN he's going to. Keep doing it.
Then of course there are the receont hobo developments! NAMELY Shigure is having fist fights with him |D As Shigure mentioned in his essay, hobo liek fist fights, especially with Shigure, and hilariously he likes them WAY MORE because SHIGURE likes them. Ticky is not blind to Shigure's own dark side and he thinks seeing it come out is a lot of fun! He enjoys Shigure enjoying hurting him. This isn't masochism. Ticky doesn't HAVE a "Well I'm a bad person so I should be hurt" ... self concept, at all. (He can recognize it clinically he just doesn't attach any emotion to the idea). But he likes... Shigure, really. Even the Black parts. And like any humans he enjoys effecting things, he likes it when actions mirror his perceptions on reality. Seeing Shigure WANT to fight him for no real reason other than Shigure needs a way to lash out is totally fun.
HE'S ALSO aware of Shigure's skewed and mostly incorrect idea that Ticky has rules attached to each of his lives and that maintaining those rules is desperately important. That would be very text book classic villain of him, and Ticky understands where he got the idea, but it's really. Not right. Ticky separates his lives because 75% because they simply wouldn't mesh and 25% because having two completely different extremes to enjoy is really fun. This isnt' to say his white side doesn't MAINTAIN HIS PSYCHE. it DOES. But that's not... what it's there for. It's there because he likes it. He doesn't KEEP IT TO STAY SANE he STAYS SANE because he doesn't want to lose it. Ticky doesn't have any compulsive habits or anal rules associated with either of his lives, beyond habit and the general fun of maintaining them. I.E. he talks with Mika about Black Life matters in his white mode for a while, but eventually switches over to his Black because talking noah stuff in Hobo Dialect felt weird. But not because BLACK MATTERS MUST NOT TOUCH WHITE. Similarly, white Hobo Ticky WOULDN'T kill in his Hobo form, that's mostly because if he's a hobo he's indulging different pleasures at the moment. He has no particular problem knowing the same person in both lives, and while he doesn't LIKE people knowing about his white life, and would kill them if they went on blabbing about it. It's not an obsessive compulsive desire to keep them separated. He can roll with it, enjoy either or, let them mix a bit, and he's getting better at it the more he's at camp. IN SHORT. Shigure really doesn't have any guarantees just because he's in White form, but it's funny that he thinks he does.
Wow I talk in circles.
ANYWAY. Basically Ticky really does like Shigure. A lot. He would totally rape anyone that hurt him, he might assassinate people on request, and will still never hesitate to mess with him. The only people he wouldn't fight with over this would be fellow Noah. But if one of them killed Shigure he would just... kill one of theirs in return. I.E. much as Ticky loves Mika. He'd rip off his wings again if Devit went after Shigure. AND THAT WOULD BE BAD FOR EVERYONE except the Noah who would just be kind of tantrumy about it.
Ticky on Devit- DOES NOT GO THERE.
Ticky on NOAH IN GENERAL basically goes like this. To an extent, Ticky truly sees them as family. I don't think they grew up together but there is a certain bond and a familiarity that you can't escape between them all. It is LITERALLY them against the world, and the Noah are human enough that that means something, and crazy enough that that only means something in a crazy Noah kinda way. Because they are all still super powered bastards out to kill everything and that makes all your interactions a bit off kilter. Anyway. Ticky doesn't... try to separate himself from the other Noah, even though he's obviously different from them and I'm sure they notice he's different as well. Because! They're family! And you accept family with their little quirks and flaws and assume they will always be family regardless.
I DON'T think Ticky is individually emotionally attached to all of the Noah. At the moment I would say his favorite is Rhode, he has a certain tolerant fondness for Devit, and a certain "topped through over familiarity" fondness for Sherrill. But he certainally wasn't PERSONALLY affected when Skin died, even though he seemed to like him just fine. And I think it's that way with most of them, which is what I mean by "family in the crazy Noah sense". Even if Rhode, his apparent favorite, died. I don't think Ticky would be very broken up about it. He's logical, zen, and crazy. He knows the possibilities, and is willing to kill his own friends, so of course it won't be terribly gut punching if family dies.
THAT SAID. Devit and Ticky's relationship is pretty much pure interaction stuff instead of actual FEELING STUFF. Ticky tolerates Devit because FAMILY and through that is reasonably fond of him despite the fact that Devit is clearly a retarded punk who hasn't come into himself and possibly never will. Ticky's a CLEVER BOY and well aware of Devit's insecurities, and if he BOTHERED TO THINK ABOUT IT (he doesn't) he could figure out the reasons behind a lot of Devit's actions. As it IS he's pretty content to interact with Devit as the punk fail brat he is, tolerating it because Ticky.. tolerates abuse. And UNLIKE DEVIT is confident enough that people can't really damage his ego at all. IT WORKS OUT WELL.
Ticky on Shigure- Progressively more likely.
Shigure's a hard one. I won't bother to retrack everything that has happened, I'm pretty sure he's consistently mentioned in most of my past essays. LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE NOW.
Ticky loves Shigure. Like. Really. He's not IN love with him (infact, anything beyond platonic love doesn't exist for Ticky. Yes he can have platonic love while still wanting to fuck it) but he does genuinely care about him in his crazy Ticky way.
For Ticky, at least, it really doesn't have anything to do with the body switch anymore. That initially made Shigure interesting to him in a sort of unplaceable way, but it didn't make him emotionally attached. And the key is... Ticky IS capable of emotional attachment! It's a huge portion of his character, really. He's not REALLY CLINGY OR AFFECTIONATE. But if you didn't get that Ticky genuinely cares for both the people in his white life and his black, you're missing two very large points. He's still a logical, aloof, zen kinda guy and is almost physically incapable of regret, which means even if the people he cares about DO die he can't... feel for it the same way I normal person would. But he is aware of the absence of that feeling and inspite of the absense of it he can still have a certain level of actual caring!
But. It's his black life, he's crazy, and one of the major points of their relationship is that Shigure KNOWS PRETTY MUCH JUST HOW CRAZY TICKY IS so Ticky doesn't really make any pretense to appears otherwise anymore. He just... exists as he is and doesn't block Shigure off from much of it other than the part of him that wants to kill Shigure and Ticky does that more for himself than Shigure. (if he's saying things like "I won't kill your family" or "I'll leave you alone for a while", that's for Shigure). So! Ticky does care, but Ticky also isn't limiting his crazy like he does in his White life, or redirecting it or distracting himself from it. On one level it has the Mika Effect of "I can be however I want around this person and that feels good" only Ticky can't really FUCK WITH Mika. And uh. Fucking with people is fun. Fucking with people he likes is more fun. He can fuck with Shigure all he likes and he likes Shigure ERGO. He has a lot of fun with Shigure.
It's very hard to explain Ticky's particular brand of being able to really care about and like a person while still feeling absolutely guiltless about knowingly fucking with their lives. Ticky is NOT without sympathy. He's intelligent, formerly human, and empathic enough that he really DOES realize what he's doing to Shigure most of the time. He recognizes that it's a bad situation, that Shigure got himself into it to an extent, but that he probably doesn't deserve the hand he's been dealt. AS A FRIEND he genuinely does sympathize! As the crazy fucker who is DOING THIS ALL TO HIM AND HAVING FUN he's going to. Keep doing it.
Then of course there are the receont hobo developments! NAMELY Shigure is having fist fights with him |D As Shigure mentioned in his essay, hobo liek fist fights, especially with Shigure, and hilariously he likes them WAY MORE because SHIGURE likes them. Ticky is not blind to Shigure's own dark side and he thinks seeing it come out is a lot of fun! He enjoys Shigure enjoying hurting him. This isn't masochism. Ticky doesn't HAVE a "Well I'm a bad person so I should be hurt" ... self concept, at all. (He can recognize it clinically he just doesn't attach any emotion to the idea). But he likes... Shigure, really. Even the Black parts. And like any humans he enjoys effecting things, he likes it when actions mirror his perceptions on reality. Seeing Shigure WANT to fight him for no real reason other than Shigure needs a way to lash out is totally fun.
HE'S ALSO aware of Shigure's skewed and mostly incorrect idea that Ticky has rules attached to each of his lives and that maintaining those rules is desperately important. That would be very text book classic villain of him, and Ticky understands where he got the idea, but it's really. Not right. Ticky separates his lives because 75% because they simply wouldn't mesh and 25% because having two completely different extremes to enjoy is really fun. This isnt' to say his white side doesn't MAINTAIN HIS PSYCHE. it DOES. But that's not... what it's there for. It's there because he likes it. He doesn't KEEP IT TO STAY SANE he STAYS SANE because he doesn't want to lose it. Ticky doesn't have any compulsive habits or anal rules associated with either of his lives, beyond habit and the general fun of maintaining them. I.E. he talks with Mika about Black Life matters in his white mode for a while, but eventually switches over to his Black because talking noah stuff in Hobo Dialect felt weird. But not because BLACK MATTERS MUST NOT TOUCH WHITE. Similarly, white Hobo Ticky WOULDN'T kill in his Hobo form, that's mostly because if he's a hobo he's indulging different pleasures at the moment. He has no particular problem knowing the same person in both lives, and while he doesn't LIKE people knowing about his white life, and would kill them if they went on blabbing about it. It's not an obsessive compulsive desire to keep them separated. He can roll with it, enjoy either or, let them mix a bit, and he's getting better at it the more he's at camp. IN SHORT. Shigure really doesn't have any guarantees just because he's in White form, but it's funny that he thinks he does.
Wow I talk in circles.
ANYWAY. Basically Ticky really does like Shigure. A lot. He would totally rape anyone that hurt him, he might assassinate people on request, and will still never hesitate to mess with him. The only people he wouldn't fight with over this would be fellow Noah. But if one of them killed Shigure he would just... kill one of theirs in return. I.E. much as Ticky loves Mika. He'd rip off his wings again if Devit went after Shigure. AND THAT WOULD BE BAD FOR EVERYONE except the Noah who would just be kind of tantrumy about it.
Ticky on Devit- DOES NOT GO THERE.
Ticky on NOAH IN GENERAL basically goes like this. To an extent, Ticky truly sees them as family. I don't think they grew up together but there is a certain bond and a familiarity that you can't escape between them all. It is LITERALLY them against the world, and the Noah are human enough that that means something, and crazy enough that that only means something in a crazy Noah kinda way. Because they are all still super powered bastards out to kill everything and that makes all your interactions a bit off kilter. Anyway. Ticky doesn't... try to separate himself from the other Noah, even though he's obviously different from them and I'm sure they notice he's different as well. Because! They're family! And you accept family with their little quirks and flaws and assume they will always be family regardless.
I DON'T think Ticky is individually emotionally attached to all of the Noah. At the moment I would say his favorite is Rhode, he has a certain tolerant fondness for Devit, and a certain "topped through over familiarity" fondness for Sherrill. But he certainally wasn't PERSONALLY affected when Skin died, even though he seemed to like him just fine. And I think it's that way with most of them, which is what I mean by "family in the crazy Noah sense". Even if Rhode, his apparent favorite, died. I don't think Ticky would be very broken up about it. He's logical, zen, and crazy. He knows the possibilities, and is willing to kill his own friends, so of course it won't be terribly gut punching if family dies.
THAT SAID. Devit and Ticky's relationship is pretty much pure interaction stuff instead of actual FEELING STUFF. Ticky tolerates Devit because FAMILY and through that is reasonably fond of him despite the fact that Devit is clearly a retarded punk who hasn't come into himself and possibly never will. Ticky's a CLEVER BOY and well aware of Devit's insecurities, and if he BOTHERED TO THINK ABOUT IT (he doesn't) he could figure out the reasons behind a lot of Devit's actions. As it IS he's pretty content to interact with Devit as the punk fail brat he is, tolerating it because Ticky.. tolerates abuse. And UNLIKE DEVIT is confident enough that people can't really damage his ego at all. IT WORKS OUT WELL.