(no subject)
AndyisBrakAgain: hi
SantaClaus: Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! I'm here on AIM! Everything we talk about here is between you and me! If you want to know more, you can type "privacy". Now, streeeeetch that window and let's get started.
So, have you been naughty or nice?
AndyisBrakAgain: naughty
SantaClaus: Oh dear! Well, there is still time to get on my good list. When you do I will have a special free gift here for you on Dec. 22. Now type menu to see the fun and games the elves have put together for you.
AndyisBrakAgain: I killed 4 old people. That's naughty, I think
SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.
AndyisBrakAgain: menu?
SantaClaus: Here's your Christmas to-do list. Check it twice! Type a number:
1 - Tell Santa
2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
3 - Track a Shopping List
4 - Play Xmas Hangman
5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
7 - Send E-Cards
8 - Listen to Xmas Music
9 - A Free Gift 4U!
AndyisBrakAgain: 1
SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.
AndyisBrakAgain: Jesus Christ... Menu
SantaClaus: I've got my list, here's yours! Type a number and I'll tell you more.
1 - Tell Santa
2 - Tell Buddies What U Want
3 - Track a Shopping List
4 - Play Xmas Hangman
5 - Vote on Xmas Songs
6 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
7 - Send E-Cards
8 - Listen to Xmas Music
9 - A Free Gift 4U!
AndyisBrakAgain: 1
SantaClaus: O.K. Let's focus on one wish at a time! I'm getting a little slower as I get older. So, what is the first gift you'd like from Santa?
AndyisBrakAgain: a little brother
SantaClaus: What else is at the top of your list?
AndyisBrakAgain: my penis back from the old lady down the street
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk. A lump of coal for you. Please don't do it again or I won't be able to listen to your wishes. Is there anything else?
AndyisBrakAgain: no, that's all... *sigh*
SantaClaus: What would your final Christmas wish be?
AndyisBrakAgain: for you to be real
SantaClaus: O.K. that's plenty, why don't you type, "poll" and vote for your favorite holiday song?
AndyisBrakAgain: why don't you make me?
SantaClaus: No.
AndyisBrakAgain: ok... poll
SantaClaus: Help us decide the best all-time holiday song by typing a number:
1 - Jingle Bells
2 - Let It Snow
3 - The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting...)
4 - Silent Night, Holy Night
5 - Santa Claus is Coming to Town
6 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
7 - Deck the Halls
8 - Joy to the World
9 - White Christmas
AndyisBrakAgain: 3, of course
SantaClaus: Thanks! Here are the latest top vote-getters:
1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town!, 2. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, 3. The Christmas Song, 4. Jingle Bells, 5. Let it Snow
-- If you're in the mood for music, why not tune in here while we are chatting: Classic Holiday Radio@Netscape or type menu to see other fun and games.
AndyisBrakAgain: well my selection isn't in the top 5, other people suck at picking music
SantaClaus: If you want to get in the holiday spirit, nothing does the trick like Christmas music: Pop Holiday Radio@Netscape
AndyisBrakAgain: that's nice. Stop trying to get me to use netscape
SantaClaus: Only Mrs. Claus has that kind of control over me.
AndyisBrakAgain: oh, you're into the whole domination thing?
SantaClaus: Sorry, the elves didn't get that.
AndyisBrakAgain: screw the elves
SantaClaus:
Please, I despise that kind of language. I'm just asking you to have a little patience and ask me another way. I'm talking to thousands of boys and girls and their parents here at the same time. It's not so easy!
AndyisBrakAgain: you're fucking lazy.
SantaClaus: Hmm. I'm afraid that kind of language won't get you into the nice column with me. That's a lump of coal for you.
AndyisBrakAgain: good. can I have some oil too? I'm starting a power plant
SantaClaus: Hmm, I always put my money in the toy sector, but I might be a little biased.
AndyisBrakAgain: Crude oil hit a low price today never seen since March '03, with the U.S. led invasion of Iraq
SantaClaus: Goodness, that's too much for me to read. I'm talking to so many children and their parents. Could you ask me something a little shorter?
AndyisBrakAgain: why don't you just excercise?
SantaClaus: What do you think?
AndyisBrakAgain: you're too fucking lazy
SantaClaus: My goodness. I'm afraid I cannot respond to that kind of talk.A lump of coal for you.
AndyisBrakAgain: this is gay omg
SantaClaus: My goodness. You've earned another lump of coal. I'm sorry but this is the last warning and lump of coal I can promise you. Any more cursing and I'll have to stop talking to you. Please, type menu; let's try to get in the Christmas spirit.
AndyisBrakAgain: fuck
SantaClaus: Well, that's it. I'm sorry, I'm in complete agreement with the elves on this one. I cannot instant message with you any longer.
AndyisBrakAgain: oh please please please I'll be good
SantaClaus: We're sorry -- Santa has returned to his workshop.
AndyisBrakAgain: PLEASE?
SantaClaus: Santa is no longer signed on to IM.
AndyisBrakAgain: yes he is, you dipshit... WHO IS THIS? I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH YOUR SUPERVISOR!
SantaClaus: Sorry, the elves have asked Santa to turn off his IM and return to the workshop.
AndyisBrakAgain: well then get going, you little shit