2013: A review

[andygrrrl]

Hello, internet! How's things? I missed you. 2013 was a quiet year, a very internal year, a year of Working Through Things and not talking about them much. It was better than the previous years, but it was still pretty...challenging.

Here's a round-up of the Good Things about 2013:

• I was sick for about 6 months with chronic sinusitis---Not a Good Thing. It was hideous and miserable and my doctor was no help whatsoever. Luckily, I asked to see a different doctor, and she gave me a prescription for a Wonder Drug, and voila! I no longer resemble a Snot Monster. I really can't even begin to articulate how much it's improved my life -- I hadn't realized how much I normalized being vaguely sick all the time.
• I got two interviews for jobs that I was really interested in, in areas we would really love to move to. I did very well in the first interview, I didn't get the job but apparently I was second choice, the feedback was really positive. It was actually an ego-boost, weirdly. I've never felt so good about not getting a job before. I decided not to go for the second interview, because timing and circumstances weren't right, but I've never been that assertive about my job-hunting before, so I'm counting it as a plus.
• We went to Hay-on-Wye, twice, yes, twice this year, because we have our priorities in order and we know what's important in life: books, and canoodling in front of rustic fireplaces. Our second trip was at the beginning of December, and it was kind of surreal, because we hit their Winter Festival by accident. We arrived in Hay to find it overrun with wacky-haired ladies who felt (you know the kind! They are very loud and enthusiastic in their love of felt as an artistic medium, and are often surrounded by dogs), and hipsters selling vintage clothes at obscene prices. Which meant we pretty much had the bookstores to ourselves: score!
• I got a therapist, which I think is the final item on the list of Lesbian Rites of Passage. He's cool, I can (just about) afford it, and wow, it's pretty intense. Therapy ain't for wimps. Three months in and I'm really starting to see the benefits in my life and mental health.
• I knit my third sweater this year, a boat neck button-back sweater (so, essentially a backwards cardigan) with 3/4 raglan sleeves in Rowan Pure Wool 4ply. It went smoothly, took me ages to seam up, but in the end it was a thing of beauty. A thing of beauty that didn't fit. Sweater Attempt #3 was yet another failure. Turns out there was a hideous gauge catastrophe that didn't manifest itself till I tried it on, when the boat neck refused to stay on my shoulders. I looked like an extra in Flashdance, which is not really the look I was going for. This is being listed in the 2013 Good Things list because, well, I seem to express my lingering Catholic masochism through this godforsaken hobby. And I enjoyed the process, and I learned from it, and the yarn can still be re-used, and I'm 3/4 the way through my fourth sweater attempt, and it's really gonna work this time, it is!! I'm knitting Ruth Garcia-Alcantud's Agnes Pullover in Rowan Organic Wool DK. Cross your fingers, pray to your favorite saints, burn your incense, please.
• A lot of my 2013 reading and watching was about self-care. There were large stretches when I just couldn't really manage reading or watching anything that required serious brain power. Enter Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Corps of Engineers. The qualities that make TNG bad television are also the qualities that make it such good comfort food for when you're feeling down (also, I am a little bit straight for Captain Picard). Plus, reading Fashion It So really just improves your quality of life. Corps of Engineers is the series they should of made instead of Enterprise. (I have yet to make it through a single episode of Enterprise. SO. BORING.) It's got Sonya Gomez, who is no longer a flustered ensign but a competent, capable, agnsty Commander, and Domenica Corsi, who is basically the reincarnation of Tasha Yar. It's fun watching the various writers "fix" and play out the consequences of one-shot plots and Monsters of the Week. Also, I really like Bart Faulwell, the openly gay character.
• I bought, and read everything that lesbian authors Sarah and Jennifer Diemer have published, and just spent the year continuously re-reading their work (Sarah is on lj as mermaiden) . I find their writing both immensely comforting, and fun, even when it's dark and gothic, which it often is. I'm so excited about their publishing projects for this year -- I can't wait for more. I'll probably write a more in-depth post in the near future.
• We went to a wedding, and in the process of getting an outfit for said wedding, I rediscovered my love of dresses, this time without the internalized misogyny and gender angst. Dresses are so fun! And they make my working life so simple! Throw on a dress, a pair of tights, my Doc Martens, and I'm done! No more angsting about my outfit first thing in the morning and getting to work late! No more frustration that I have to buy another set of cardigans/tops/whatever because I have too many things in the wrong color! I find myself, at 31, finally completely comfortable in my skin, and with my gender presentation. My gender has shifted back and forth throughout my life from Butch Enough to Get Called Sir on a Regular Basis to Femme Enough to Pass for Straight, and you know, I've finally learned to stop worrying and just have fun with it. It's nice to feel relaxed about it, at last.
• Finally, my Kobo Glo ereader has just been a pile of Awesomesauce on a giant plate of Fuck Yeah. I love it so, so, so much. Best £99 I ever spent that I couldn't really afford, and I don't regret it for a moment. It's made supporting my favorite authors and bookstores a lot more feasible, and thanks to Pocket, reading online is sooo much easier and enjoyable now. Plus, I can secretly pretend that it's a Star Trek Padd. I play with it all the freaking time. I've decided to call it Jane (because I like naming my appliances, for reasons even I don't understand).

Okay, 2014. Bring it on. I'm ready for you.