Attention Meredith and other smart folks

[andymant]

So, I wrote this as part of an exercise in a workshop I'm in, and I like it. I would like some opinions or comments from you smart types that occasionally glance at my pathetic lil life

Comments

[cheerfulstoic]

I like the beginning very much, but the monestary connection seems to drop off abruptly after line 7. I'd like to see you extend on that a little more. I wonder if maybe a rosary is a more apropos metaphor for the coffee than a cross, as it encapsulates the idea of habit as well as a sort of ritual totem. Also, it has been many years since I have been in a McDonalds, but I think you will find that it's a quarter pounder with cheese.

[andymant]

i hadn't thought of a rosary but i tinkered with it all day yesterday and will post an edit later, and they do serve bigger burgers but i actually had a 2/3 burger at Fudrucker's the other day, thats what I was thinking about here. I'll probably change it to 1/4 for continuity.