Leverage: Fire Truck of Doom
Title: Fire Truck of Doom
Pairing: Slight Eliot/Parker; Gen
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Eliot, Parker and a toy fire truck. As requested by leonhart_17
Crash! Bang! Boom!
Vrrrrrrr! Vrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
“Parker, goddamnit!” At first it was kinda cute.
Nate, being the closeted evil mastermind he was, had recently purchased a to-scale model of the hotel they were casing. Complete with a composite of props from various scams they might run on the hotel tycoon they were currently surveying.
Unfortunately, Parker had gotten her hands onto the damn thing and had thus far had a ridiculously great time with the fire truck from the Emergency Personnel Only con. One minute they were all sitting in the boardroom while Nate got to play with his new toys, pointing out this and that under the guise of the traditional game plan. Next thing you know Parker was under the table making car noises and strange, tiny pleas for mercy as she grabbed more fodder (in the form of the tiny human figurines) for her Fire Truck of Doom.
Somehow the other three could ignore the chaos and go right on planning but Eliot had been periodically scowling under the table and slapping her hands away from any models larger than those tiny people, all he needed was for her to create an even larger massacre under there. Then, inevitably, she ran out of tiny people and decided to hunt some bigger game. Mainly, his ankle.
“Let’s go steal us an island.” Faintly Eliot heard the symbolic finish of the meeting. He also noticed the other three filing out of the room chatting amongst themselves. However he was still preoccupied with Parker banging the fire truck up against his shins repeatedly.
“There’s something wrong with you. Gimme that.” Reaching down he snagged fire truck from her hands, roughly jerking it from her grasp and smacking it back down on the table. Pushing his chair out and kneeling on the floor he began to pick up the carnage of figurines Parker had left. Until he heard a (slightly overplayed) sniffle.
He knew he shouldn’t look up. He knew better than to look. Really. Still, he glanced out of some sort of morbid curiosity and there was Parker. Her legs were spread out in a v in front of her and her arms lay limply in the space created there. Her head was tilted downwards but her eyes were (manipulatively) staring at him, just slightly glassy.
“No, Parker.” Goddamnit. That wasn’t even close to playing fair. He redoubled his efforts to pick up all the tiny corpses, noting with faint alarm as a pale hand snuck in to grab a handful of the little people. Then he felt the first one bounce off the top of his head. Then another. And another.
“For the love of - Here!” Reaching up he felt blindly around the table top while shielding his face with his other arm. There. He thrust the fire truck into Parker’s hand and proceeded to clamber out from under the table. Halted only briefly by the indescribable (somewhere between a piglet’s squeal and nails on a chalkboard) noise of joy Parker made. However, he was stopped by the tug on the hem of his jeans.
“Do you want to play with me?” She was holding the fire truck aloft like the Holy Grail, smiling up at him in a, he wouldn’t say sweet, sort of way. Sighing he resumed his position on the ground, picking up one of the model citizens and putting on his best falsetto.
“Oh no, please don’t run me over! I have a family!”
“No. You can be the fire man.” She pulled his current character from his grip and thrust the one in a red shirt into his hands. “You’ve been driven insane by smoke inhalation and now are an implicit accomplice to the Killer Fire Truck.”
“You know that doesn’t make any - ” Parker was smiling again. Goddamnit. “Ok...”
When Nate, Sophie and Hardison eventually discovered their missing team mates under the conference room table playing dolls, they all swore never to mention it again.