And Then There's This...
Title: What's in a Name?
Author: aneuhaus
Rating: So G you can eat off of it
“Napoleon, what is this?”
“Um, uh, underwear?”
“No, no, no.”
“Then, I’m stumped.”
“No, this; around the waistband.”
“Uh, elastic?”
“Right. Now, this.”
“Let’s see - a magazine article, right?”
“Yes, but what is this word?”
“E-lated.”
“Very good. Now, what sound do those two words have in common?”
“Okay, I’ll bite - eel.”
“Now, do you remember what you said this morning, when you picked up your coffee cup and that spider darted out of it?”
“Yes, but I’m ashamed to repeat that, even in front of you.”
“No, I mean the first sound you made, when the spider scurried over your hand.”
“I think it was something like ‘Yah’, only much louder.”
“That was a suitable approximation.”
“So, is this little quiz actually apropos of anything?”
“Yes, and here is the crux of it. I want you to say that first sound that we spoke about.”
“Eel.”
“And now say it without the ‘l’.
“Ee.”
“Perfect! Now, say the spider sound.”
“Yah. Sorry, I still don’t see…”
“Wait a minute, and you will. Now say all three sounds together.”
“In that order?”
“Of course, you blockhead.”
“Eel-ee-yah. Eeleeyah.”
“That, Napoleon, is the correct pronunciation of my name; and, I may add, the first time it has ever come out of your mouth that way.”
“I know, but it takes so long to say that way.”
“Really, Napoleon?”
“Alright, Partner. If it means that much to you, I shall, henceforth, gallantly attempt to properly pronounce your exalted moniker.”
“Is everything a joke to you?”
“I’m sorry, but I would think that, if it was so important, you would have mentioned it, at some point, in the past four years.”
“Maybe I should have, but now you are aware.”
“I would love to discuss this at length, IK, but nature calls.”
“That, I want no part of.”
Silence
“ILL-YUH, THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER!”
“BOZHE MOI!”
Author: aneuhaus
Rating: So G you can eat off of it
“Napoleon, what is this?”
“Um, uh, underwear?”
“No, no, no.”
“Then, I’m stumped.”
“No, this; around the waistband.”
“Uh, elastic?”
“Right. Now, this.”
“Let’s see - a magazine article, right?”
“Yes, but what is this word?”
“E-lated.”
“Very good. Now, what sound do those two words have in common?”
“Okay, I’ll bite - eel.”
“Now, do you remember what you said this morning, when you picked up your coffee cup and that spider darted out of it?”
“Yes, but I’m ashamed to repeat that, even in front of you.”
“No, I mean the first sound you made, when the spider scurried over your hand.”
“I think it was something like ‘Yah’, only much louder.”
“That was a suitable approximation.”
“So, is this little quiz actually apropos of anything?”
“Yes, and here is the crux of it. I want you to say that first sound that we spoke about.”
“Eel.”
“And now say it without the ‘l’.
“Ee.”
“Perfect! Now, say the spider sound.”
“Yah. Sorry, I still don’t see…”
“Wait a minute, and you will. Now say all three sounds together.”
“In that order?”
“Of course, you blockhead.”
“Eel-ee-yah. Eeleeyah.”
“That, Napoleon, is the correct pronunciation of my name; and, I may add, the first time it has ever come out of your mouth that way.”
“I know, but it takes so long to say that way.”
“Really, Napoleon?”
“Alright, Partner. If it means that much to you, I shall, henceforth, gallantly attempt to properly pronounce your exalted moniker.”
“Is everything a joke to you?”
“I’m sorry, but I would think that, if it was so important, you would have mentioned it, at some point, in the past four years.”
“Maybe I should have, but now you are aware.”
“I would love to discuss this at length, IK, but nature calls.”
“That, I want no part of.”
Silence
“ILL-YUH, THERE’S NO TOILET PAPER!”
“BOZHE MOI!”