Sick of Rudd. Howard's gone, that's all I cared about, and Rudd's looking about as useful as Brumby.
What is the number 1 issue facing Australia today?
That's Right.
Beating England in gold at the next Olympics.
And who showed us gold in Beijing?
We need to harness the power of the Ginger. (for the uninitiated, it's pronounce g (as in goat) ing a)).
We have a Ginger in waiting.
Gingers can lead us to our clean sweep of the 2012 Olympic Golds.
Why does this matter?
The world is going to hell in a handbasket.
The cold war is back ORNNNNNN. And it's gonna go HOT. People are going to be blowing each other up three ways from Tuesday. We need to BRING HOME THE AUSSIE GOLD in 2012 and BUILD A GIANT DOME OF AUSSIE GOLD round 'Straya. Girt by sea. WE WILL BE GIRT BY AUSSIE GOLD!!!.
Of course, we'll still need Kev07 (he is SO last year) around to go and chat to the Chinese, because we're Australians, and we always need a big friend. And let's face it, the Chinese own America, so the American's for us are just middle men now.
Once all of this is in place, we won't need Jill any more, and we can get Malcolm to run the show in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that will be most of the 21st century. After all, he's the incarnation of the greatest politician of my generation.
That's right. I said it. He kicked arse. While we're at it, let's get him back to run Melbourne. Not Premier, because then he has to listen to those whinging country folk. Jeff doesn't need to be weighed down with the worries of the bush!
I challenge any of you to give me ONE GOOD REASON that is anywhere near as remotely insane as my rationale. If you can't, well, then.
YOU LOSE. OBEY MY DOG.
Yours Sincerely,
Chester A. Arthur.
I think you should all be convinced by now.