Ouran Fic
(beautiful art by nicluv1787 for my entry in musicroom_3 's first prompt, 'Welcome')
Title: Sakura Kiss
Rating: PG?
Genre: Crack/General Host Genre
Cu/Au: Canon
Pairings or Characters: Tamaki calls Kyouya 'mummy' once... all the host club are there.
Warnings: none
Summary: Tamaki seems extra excited . . . Haruhi seems suspicious.
That day, Tamaki had bounded into the third music room with even more enthusiasm than usual. This alone was enough to put Haruhi on high alert for insanity, but so far the costume (cats, including ears) and the furnishings (large cushions suitable for pets - human sized pets) weren’t that eccentric, for host club anyway.
Haruhi had just started to relax, thinking maybe it was just a sugar rush or something, when Kyouya made a phone call and agreed for something to be delivered at five, when the club ended, and hung up looking more self satisfied than usual.
Haruhi’s eyes widened and she turned back to her customers, who were asking about recipes with chocolate and Haruhi had started to wonder how many of the girls who assigned her just did it for the gossip (read: veiled complaints about the other hosts that Haruhi occasionally made) and a friend who, to keep their place in the club, was vowed to complete secrecy about what the girls said.
She survived through three more groups of girls, two ‘visits’ by Tamaki and one act that the twins had created involving her and the consequent ‘jealousy’ between the them.
Finally, the doors to the music room closed behind the last customer and Tamaki started bounding around them, herding them as though he was a sheepdog and they were his (very disgruntled) sheep.
Kyouya glanced at his watch, and a split second after there was a formal knock on the door.
“Enter,” Kyouya called.
A man in a black suit and tinted glasses entered, bowed low (Tamaki mirrored him) and handed a file to Kyouya.
“Thank you. You are dismissed.”
The man bowed again and walked away.
Haruhi wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to the fact that people respected the host club members who were not Kyouya.
Kyouya removed three pieces of paper from the file and slipped them into a briefcase that Haruhi didn’t think she’s ever seen him personally carry anywhere. The file was handed to Tamaki who then turned, self satisfied, to face the other baffled members of the Host Club.
He handed a sheet of paper with lyrics on to each person.
“What is it?” asked Hunny.
“It is . . . the new Host Club Theme Song!” declared Tamaki.
“Ah,” commented Mori, as the twins, who had skimmed the page before the announcement, burst out into hysterical laughter.
Curious, Haruhi started to read. A dark cloud settled over her head.
“Are you serious?”
“Of course. Mummy has spent much money having a J-Pop star record it,” smiled Tamaki.
“But the lyrics-”
“Hunny what do you think?” interjected Kyouya.
Hunny’s eyes went wide and sad, “The ears are hurting me,”
Mori leant down silently and removed Hunny’s cat ears. Hunny rewarded him with a large beam.
Ignoring the randomly interjected moe, Haruhi started reading aloud the lyrics which particularly caught her attention,
“Lady or host, it doesn’t matter?”
Hikaru leant onto Kaoru’s shoulder and continued to laugh.
“We must keep the theme of the twins and Hunny and Mori working together without denying the customers a theoretical ‘chance’ with us,” Kyouya explained. Eyes normally tell if a person is lying, Haruhi mused. However she continued,
“the delightful spring love is a blossoming virgin's aesthetics?”
Kaoru pushed away a tear of laughter, and continued with his hysterics.
“Chastity and romance are important Ouran Host Club Themes,” Kyouya had started reading the pieces of paper that came with the theme song. Haruhi wondered if this was his version of hiding.
“In denim, in frills, in casuals and Chinese dress -”
“Obvious references to our changing states of attire,”
“a love romantic enough to be painful; Lets accept each other’s weak spots, too; love that touches one another is invincible; the two of us who seem to bloom are the protagonists? Tell me, did Tamaki-sempai write this himself?”
The twins fell to the floor and twitched helplessly.
Kyouya didn’t answer for a second, and loud musical chords overcame the room.
“What is that?” asked Haruhi.
“Why, it is the end theme of course!” cried Tamaki, “I’m afraid we have no more time today, please be going home and drinking relaxing tea around the kotatsu-”
“Wait! We don’t need a theme! At least change the lyrics!”
“The credits are rolling Haruhi, you cannot object! We are about to be cut-”