Don't Ever Change: Part 1 of 2
Title: Don’t Ever Change 1/2
Author: angel_kink
Rating: PG
Genre: Missing/Extended Scene
Pairing: Dean/Cas
Spoilers: 5x04
Warnings: Profanity
Word Count: ~1100 this chapter, WIP
Summary: This is an extended scene from episode 5x04. Castiel let's some information slip about Dean's future. Set in the Croatoan Universe.
Author’s Notes:
1) I plan on expanding this. I have one more chapter written, but may write more depending on how I feel at the end of that.
2)This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written, so I was kind of nervous about posting it. But here it is. Comments are welcome, just keep in mind it's my first fic.
----
When Dean first saw the broken being Castiel had become, he was stunned. Just a few short days ago he was trying to hook the angel up with a prostitute at that brothel in Garber and now Cas was having orgies and rattling off weird hippy love guru crap. And yeah, ok, the orgy part sounded appealing to Dean, but still, this wasn’t his Cas. This wasn’t his angel. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it and Cas’ responses were vague at best.
Before he could really figure out what it was off about the angel Dean got distracted by, well, himself- future him- and other issues quickly became a priority. It wasn’t until later when he was riding shotgun with Cas to their showdown with the Devil that he could finally dig further.
The angel’s voice was forced, an obvious attempt at hiding the depression the poor guy was clearly suffering from. Dean wasn’t fairing much better himself. He was minutes away from seeing Lucifer wearing Sammy and his angel was broken. They were both in pretty pathetic states of mind.
"I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby! That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?” Castiel gave a shallow laugh, eyes glossy and unfocused on the road ahead of them. “That’s just how I roll.”
They were both silent for a moment, just staring out over the dashboard at the car ahead of them in the caravan.
“I’m sorry for what’s happened to you, man. Really. I don’t like seeing you so broken.”
“Broken? That’s the first time anyone’s described it like that.”
“Well, how else do you describe it?”
“Like I said, I’m human.”
“Well, yeah, ok. I mean, I get burying yourself in alcohol and women. Fuck, I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t. But you aren’t you anymore. I’m not going to let this happen to you. I’m not going to let any of this happen.”
“Does this mean you’re going to-“
“No!” Dean shouted, a little harsher than he wanted to. “No, I’m not going to say yes to Michael. There has to be another way.” Cas didn’t really believe that anymore. He didn’t believe in much of anything anymore, but he was determined to go down fighting regardless.
“You know, you say I’m ‘broken,’ but you- I mean the ‘now you’- are pretty messed up too. Our Fearless Leader is not the man I-“ Cas stopped abruptly.
Dean could think of a ton of ways that sentence could end. But Cas didn’t seem like he wanted to end it with anything.
“You what?”
“I’ve probably told you too much already. I mean, Zachariah sent you here to see how bad things get, right? Not to talk-“
“You sure are a Chatty Cathy in the future. Get to the point."
Cas sighed and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Then the stoned and drunk former angel took his eyes off the road and stared Dean directly in the eyes. He may not have his mojo, but Dean still felt like the guy was staring right into his soul.
“Not the man I fell in love with, Dean.” He quickly looked back out over the road. Thank goodness, because he may be intoxicated, but he should at least look where he's going. Let’s not die in a car accident just a couple miles from the Devil, ok? “I probably shouldn’t have said that, but whatever. Just let that part of your life play out naturally, ok?”
‘Panicking’ wasn’t really the right word for what Dean was feeling. Well, he was panicking about seeing Sam and Lucifer and all that horrible crap, but this? He took it surprisingly well. His heart was racing, but he almost felt happy. And happiness was the last emotion Dean expected to have on this little adventure.
“And just who did you fall in love with then? 2009 me? 2010?”
Cas laughed again. “Let it play out.”
“Not even gonna throw me a bone here?”
Cas took a quick glance away from the road. “And change one of the best things that happened to me in the past five years? No way. It has absolutely no bearing on the apocalypse so there really isn’t any need for you to know about it.” Cas paused and took a breath. “You’re right, I am a ‘Chatty Cathy,’ but I also have a point.”
Dean couldn’t deny that. But he had to do something with that information and he had to do that now. Dean reached over and took the angel’s right hand in his own. He laced their fingers together and gave Cas' hand a squeeze. “Ok, you win, I'll 'let it play out'. Starting when I get back, right?”
Cas glanced at their hands. “Right, when you get back just pretend I didn’t let the cat out of the bag.”
Dean had no idea if holding hands was appropriate for their relationship. He didn’t have a clue what their relationship actually entailed, but Castiel seemed to take comfort in the contact. He squeezed back Dean’s hand in return and appeared to relax a little bit. But when both of them remembered what was coming up just down the road, they tensed. However, their hands remained intertwined until they arrived at their destination.
=/=
When all was said and done Dean found himself back in the motel room with Zachariah. He held his ground, refusing to say yes, but the Angel kept berating him and threatening him. Then Zachariah was charging towards him yelling about something when Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. Then the world around him snapped and he was standing on some deserted highway far away from Zachariah’s angry tirade.
And then there he was. His Cas. Standing there in his tan trench coat. It was perfect.
“Nice timing, Cas.”
“We had an appointment.” Angel of few words. Yeah, this was HIS Cas again. Relief flooded over him and he could barely hold back a smile.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Castiel’s. For Cas, staring was a pretty common activity, but this time Dean didn’t mind the intense gaze because it was familiar and comforting. Hell, he even enjoyed it.
The Angel was definitely falling and his connection to Heaven was dwindling, but he wasn’t broken yet and Dean was going to try his best to keep it that way. Dean put his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Don’t ever change.”
Yeah, it was probably going to take more effort than that to keep the Angel from breaking, but it was a start.
Next Chapter
Author: angel_kink
Rating: PG
Genre: Missing/Extended Scene
Pairing: Dean/Cas
Spoilers: 5x04
Warnings: Profanity
Word Count: ~1100 this chapter, WIP
Summary: This is an extended scene from episode 5x04. Castiel let's some information slip about Dean's future. Set in the Croatoan Universe.
Author’s Notes:
1) I plan on expanding this. I have one more chapter written, but may write more depending on how I feel at the end of that.
2)This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written, so I was kind of nervous about posting it. But here it is. Comments are welcome, just keep in mind it's my first fic.
----
When Dean first saw the broken being Castiel had become, he was stunned. Just a few short days ago he was trying to hook the angel up with a prostitute at that brothel in Garber and now Cas was having orgies and rattling off weird hippy love guru crap. And yeah, ok, the orgy part sounded appealing to Dean, but still, this wasn’t his Cas. This wasn’t his angel. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it and Cas’ responses were vague at best.
Before he could really figure out what it was off about the angel Dean got distracted by, well, himself- future him- and other issues quickly became a priority. It wasn’t until later when he was riding shotgun with Cas to their showdown with the Devil that he could finally dig further.
The angel’s voice was forced, an obvious attempt at hiding the depression the poor guy was clearly suffering from. Dean wasn’t fairing much better himself. He was minutes away from seeing Lucifer wearing Sammy and his angel was broken. They were both in pretty pathetic states of mind.
"I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby! That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?” Castiel gave a shallow laugh, eyes glossy and unfocused on the road ahead of them. “That’s just how I roll.”
They were both silent for a moment, just staring out over the dashboard at the car ahead of them in the caravan.
“I’m sorry for what’s happened to you, man. Really. I don’t like seeing you so broken.”
“Broken? That’s the first time anyone’s described it like that.”
“Well, how else do you describe it?”
“Like I said, I’m human.”
“Well, yeah, ok. I mean, I get burying yourself in alcohol and women. Fuck, I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t. But you aren’t you anymore. I’m not going to let this happen to you. I’m not going to let any of this happen.”
“Does this mean you’re going to-“
“No!” Dean shouted, a little harsher than he wanted to. “No, I’m not going to say yes to Michael. There has to be another way.” Cas didn’t really believe that anymore. He didn’t believe in much of anything anymore, but he was determined to go down fighting regardless.
“You know, you say I’m ‘broken,’ but you- I mean the ‘now you’- are pretty messed up too. Our Fearless Leader is not the man I-“ Cas stopped abruptly.
Dean could think of a ton of ways that sentence could end. But Cas didn’t seem like he wanted to end it with anything.
“You what?”
“I’ve probably told you too much already. I mean, Zachariah sent you here to see how bad things get, right? Not to talk-“
“You sure are a Chatty Cathy in the future. Get to the point."
Cas sighed and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Then the stoned and drunk former angel took his eyes off the road and stared Dean directly in the eyes. He may not have his mojo, but Dean still felt like the guy was staring right into his soul.
“Not the man I fell in love with, Dean.” He quickly looked back out over the road. Thank goodness, because he may be intoxicated, but he should at least look where he's going. Let’s not die in a car accident just a couple miles from the Devil, ok? “I probably shouldn’t have said that, but whatever. Just let that part of your life play out naturally, ok?”
‘Panicking’ wasn’t really the right word for what Dean was feeling. Well, he was panicking about seeing Sam and Lucifer and all that horrible crap, but this? He took it surprisingly well. His heart was racing, but he almost felt happy. And happiness was the last emotion Dean expected to have on this little adventure.
“And just who did you fall in love with then? 2009 me? 2010?”
Cas laughed again. “Let it play out.”
“Not even gonna throw me a bone here?”
Cas took a quick glance away from the road. “And change one of the best things that happened to me in the past five years? No way. It has absolutely no bearing on the apocalypse so there really isn’t any need for you to know about it.” Cas paused and took a breath. “You’re right, I am a ‘Chatty Cathy,’ but I also have a point.”
Dean couldn’t deny that. But he had to do something with that information and he had to do that now. Dean reached over and took the angel’s right hand in his own. He laced their fingers together and gave Cas' hand a squeeze. “Ok, you win, I'll 'let it play out'. Starting when I get back, right?”
Cas glanced at their hands. “Right, when you get back just pretend I didn’t let the cat out of the bag.”
Dean had no idea if holding hands was appropriate for their relationship. He didn’t have a clue what their relationship actually entailed, but Castiel seemed to take comfort in the contact. He squeezed back Dean’s hand in return and appeared to relax a little bit. But when both of them remembered what was coming up just down the road, they tensed. However, their hands remained intertwined until they arrived at their destination.
=/=
When all was said and done Dean found himself back in the motel room with Zachariah. He held his ground, refusing to say yes, but the Angel kept berating him and threatening him. Then Zachariah was charging towards him yelling about something when Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. Then the world around him snapped and he was standing on some deserted highway far away from Zachariah’s angry tirade.
And then there he was. His Cas. Standing there in his tan trench coat. It was perfect.
“Nice timing, Cas.”
“We had an appointment.” Angel of few words. Yeah, this was HIS Cas again. Relief flooded over him and he could barely hold back a smile.
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Castiel’s. For Cas, staring was a pretty common activity, but this time Dean didn’t mind the intense gaze because it was familiar and comforting. Hell, he even enjoyed it.
The Angel was definitely falling and his connection to Heaven was dwindling, but he wasn’t broken yet and Dean was going to try his best to keep it that way. Dean put his hand on Cas’ shoulder. “Don’t ever change.”
Yeah, it was probably going to take more effort than that to keep the Angel from breaking, but it was a start.
Next Chapter