Fic: Plutonic (1/1)
Title: Plutonic
Author: Angel1605
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing/characters: Ten/Donna
Genre: Friendship, romance
Rating: PG
Word count: c. 4000
Disclaimer: If I'd own them, I wouldn't be writing this.
Summary: Donna has to face a huge surprise when the Doctor and she are mistaken for a couple once again.
Author's note: First post!
"No, we're not married ," the Doctor says to the planet's ambassador, who has just asked once more the question that seems to haunt them whenever they go somewhere together.
"We're not a couple," Donna adds, almost simultaneously, preventing herself from rolling her eyes at the well-meaning ambassador who just added himself to the ever growing list of people who for some reason think that the Doctor and she are romantically involved. It's the third time that this happens on that day alone and Donna has to admit to herself that it's getting rather worrying.
"Never."
"Never ever."
"We're so not together."
"Absolutely not."
"It's not going to happen."
"Ever."
It was somewhat funny at first to dismiss these wrongful assumptions, if only to see the look of shock and confusion on people's faces, but Donna is with each occurrence more and more aware that people must have a reason to think that the Doctor and she are more than friends. In fact, judging by the frequency with which it happens, a lot of people do - plenty of people, different people, everywhere; that makes it unfortunately impossible to dismiss their assumptions as sheer madness.
But still, except for the best friends behavior and frequent hand-holding (indeed, that is perhaps rather suspicious, no matter how innocent and not romantic it is in their case), Donna has absolutely no idea how people can think that the Doctor and she are together.
"I can assure you that my feelings for Donna are nothing but plutonic."
Plutonic?
Donna looks at the Doctor, wondering whether the poison that they saved the planet from earlier that day has affected him after all. He said that the gas wasn't dangerous for Time Lords and even humans, but when she takes a proper look at him, he looks rather... odd.
"Plutonic?" the ambassador asks, one eyebrow raised, having heard the Doctor's strange slip of tongue as well.
"Platonic," the Time Lord says quickly, as if noticing his mistake only then. "Platonic, that's what I meant."
His usually pale face is flushed and there's something in his eyes that makes her think as well that there's something going on with him. She's about to ask him whether he is alright, but before she can do so, he opens his mouth to speak again.
"Donna and I are not a couple, and we'll never be. Best friends, that's what we are, nothing more than that. Not that I wouldn't want to... I mean, she's a lovely woman, so it's not so strange to think, because she's lovely, very lovely and charming, and she's ginger. I love ginger! And I love... well, that's what Donna is - ginger. And she's a great cook, best soup in the universe, that's what she makes. And stews and pancakes... Even better, she's great to cuddle with, absolutely wonderful. Warm and very, very soft, that's Donna. Nowhere better to sleep than in her..."
"That's quite enough," she says firmly, placing a warning hand on his arm. She doesn't know what has gotten into him; if anything, his speech has only convinced the ambassador that they're a couple after all. There isn't much left of his usual eloquence either, causing her to believe that the poison has indeed affected him.
The Doctor looks at her, cheeks coloring more as he does so, abruptly looking away when her inquiring gaze meets his, showing her that there's really something wrong. Rolling her eyes at his attempt to pretend that he is alright, that he's an almighty Time Lord who can't get ill like mere humans, she tightens her hold on his arm.
"Excuse us," she says to the ambassador, guiding the Doctor to a relatively quiet corner of the ball room where a party is thrown in their honor, celebrating that they saved the planet from the poisonous gas that threatened it earlier that day.
The Doctor just looks at her when they stand still in the semi-darkness, eyes wide and restless, cheeks still redder than they should be.
"Doctor, what's wrong with you?"
"Wrong? There's nothing wrong with me."
Donna doesn't bother to hide the irritation that he causes by denying his obvious illness, whatever it is exactly, just like she expected him to.
"I feel great. Always do."
"Don't try that with me, sunshine," she says sharply. She's almost hurt that he's acting like this towards her; if there's someone who can read him like a book, who can easily tell when he's behaving different than usual and who especially knows that he usually is far from alright, it's her. He knows that probably even better than she does herself.
As if it wasn't obvious enough earlier, he's shifting restlessly on his feet, looking badly at ease even now.
"Can I get you something?" she tries again, forcing herself to keep her voice calm in spite of her worry for him and the slight irritation that he causes by acting as if he can fool her as easily as this.
"I don't need anything, really."
"You don't have to lie to me Doctor," she says, her annoyance with him disappearing immediately when she sees the troubled look on his face. It tells her that something is bothering him just like she sensed already, but that he doesn't want to trouble her with it. "You know there's nothing I rather do than helping you."
She places both her hands on his arms, caressing him gently, wanting him to feel that she only cares about his well-being. He shivers when she touches him, only increasing her worry. Never mind the party; she has to get him back to the TARDIS, and quickly at that.
"Donna," he says with a quiet authority that makes her go still. "I need to tell you something."
There's something in his eyes - about all of him, really - that makes very clear to her that this is going to be very important indeed. She takes a deep breath, bracing herself for whatever is going to come. The Doctor breaths in several times himself, which doesn't make her feel more at ease. Whatever he's going to say, it's probably going to be unpleasant at least.
He's standing still at last, but he's holding himself so quiet that it disturbs her more than his uncontrolled bouncing did earlier. As she's scrutinizing him, he looks away from her gaze and begins to fidget with the edge of his sleeve. It's something she has never see him do before and it only worries him more.
"You know you can tell me everything, don't you?" she asks him quietly, wanting him to know that no matter how horrible it is what he's about to tell her, he can trust her and he can rely on her to help him make things better.
"I know," he replies, briefly looking at her. There's a sudden light in his eyes, if only for a moment, but he looks away quickly again, as if he really can't look her in the eye while telling her whatever it is that's bothering him.
"Well, what is it?" she urges gently, sensing that he's not going to talk on his own accord - or at least, not without her help. She has no idea how she can make this easier for him, but she hopes that she can lighten the mood a little; by now, she's feeling as miserable as he is looking. "Don't tell me that you've fallen in love with me and that you spent the rest of your - or well, rather my - life with me."
She smiles at him, this particular expression less difficult than a moment ago now that she herself is bemused by the sheer idiocy of the mere idea of anything romantic between them.
The result of the joke is wiped from her features however as she looks at the Doctor's face. She doesn't understand exactly what she sees in his expression, only that she did the complete opposite of relieving the tension.
Donna breathes in with difficulty, swallowing nervously as she is beginning to feel what's going on. Although she's still somewhat aware that it wouldn't have mattered in the long run anyway, she really wishes now that she hadn't said what she just did.
There's such a mix of emotions on his face that it's difficult even for her to tell what's going on exactly behind those ancient eyes of his. He schools his expression in a much more neutral one after a few seconds, but it's too late for him to hide the most important feelings that she just read in his gaze.
"No way," she breathes, feeling herself now like she can't function properly, just like the Doctor earlier. "Are you telling me that... are you... are you in love with me?"
The idea is too ridiculous and impossible for words - but she can't even think of that as she takes in the expression on the Doctor's face.
"It's not like that at all," he says quickly, as if trying to reassure her. "Well, not really. Of course not! It's not as if... Although I... Well, actually..."
The unspoken confirmation lies heavily between them. Donna can only stare at the Doctor, unable to believe what he just basically told her.
It would be very tempting indeed to blame the poisonous gas that they encountered earlier today for his bizarre declaration, so very easy, but she knows better than that. He has proven often enough that his biology is indeed superior to hers, that there isn't anything that makes him sick if it doesn't at least affect her in one way or another either. Except for the overwhelming feeling of disbelief and shock, she is feeling fine - just like he obviously did himself until the ambassador asked them whether they were married.
The Doctor looks more miserable with each second of silence that passes and she knows that there is something she has to say, for both their sakes.
Donna could spend hours contemplating his recent revelation, which already has a larger impact on her than anything they saw and did so far together. There is no time for this however, but even if there would've been, Donna feels that her reaction wouldn't change.
No matter how confused she is by his confession, no matter how it turns both their lives upside down, she can't just let him stand there like that.
Not even needing to think about it, she does what she always does whenever the Doctor needs her. She steps closer to him, pulling him into an embrace. Both to her surprise and relief, the habitual way of offering comfort to him doesn't feel any different than usual, before their relationship was troubled by apparent romantic feelings.
He heaves a deep sigh of relief as he is held by her, pulling her closer to him so he can hold on to her more tightly, both is arms encircling her eagerly. In spite of what he just basically told her, she too finds strength and comfort in his arms, just like always is the case.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. I know that this wasn't supposed to happen. I promised you... but it did and I couldn't help it. Believe me, I tried... I tried to hide it from you when I couldn't stop feeling it, but that too... I just can't, Donna. I can't go on pretending that you're nothing more to me than my best friend."
His words are muffled by the fabric of her blouse, against which his face is pressed. But she understands him perfectly, just like she always does.
She wants to ask the Doctor how this has happened, how it can be that he has fallen for her of all people, but she sense that it's not the right moment. So she just holds him instead, caressing his back to comfort him, to make clear to him that she's confused by his confession, but not angry or upset.
Donna can't help but smile a little when he relaxes completely in her arms, finding that her fondness and affection for the Time Lord aren't fading even now that she knows that his feelings for her crossed the final boundary.
"I understand that you don't want to stay with me," he says, sounding more unhappy than she has ever heard him. "I'll take you home if you want that."
"Don't be silly, spaceman," she says, once again not needing time to consider her words. Even with her current knowledge regarding the Doctor's apparent feelings for her, there's no way that she wants to leave him, especially not to go home and return to her former, too ordinary life. But it wouldn't be the wonders of time and space she'd miss the most - it would be him. "I'm not going anywhere - unless you want me too."
He tightens his grip about her, holding her with so much strength that he's almost hurting her, but she doesn't care. She closes her eyes, savoring the embrace.
"Thank you," he says, whispering in her ear. The two words carry more gratitude than anything she has ever heard in her life. She holds on to him more tightly in return, still unable to believe that he is so happy to have him with her, that she matters even more to him that she thought - or wanted.
But as she holds him and he is returning her hug with even more vigor than usual, not ceasing to caress him like she so often does, the thought of the Doctor being in love with her doesn't disturb her like she expected it would. She isn't entirely comfortable with it, but she has the strange idea that this might change very quickly.
Being held by him like this, she can't help but wonder just what exactly her relationship with the Doctor was like until now. It is very easy and tempting to say that there was nothing romantic about it at all, but really... They frequently hold hands, kiss each other's face anywhere but on the lips and sleep in the same bed more often than not. And she likes it. She really, really likes it. Only now she dares to admit to herself just how fond she is of having him physically close to her all the time and that this isn't what mere actual friendship is about.
After giving it as much thought as she can given the circumstances, Donna can't help but wonder whether things will actually change that much now that he told her this.
"I can't say that I return your feelings, but I think... I think that I'd like to try."
The Doctor goes completely still in her arms as she says this, as if he can't believe what he's hearing. But then he shifts a little, moving his face until he can nuzzle her, brushing his nose against her neck, something he has never done before.
Donna gasps at the innocent but still so intimate caress, the Doctor drawing back immediately when she does so. He begins to step away from her as well, but Donna will have none of it. He moved away too quickly for her to be able to decide whether she liked this complete new way of touching each other, but it's very clear to her that it certainly didn't disgust her like she once was convinced it would.
She brings her hand to his neck, caressing him experimentally. She has no idea whether she's doing it right, not knowing at all how he likes to be touched there, but judging from the way he's groaning quietly at her strokes, he certainly enjoys it.
Aware of her success, Donna can't help but smile a little, the surprise that she can do this to her spaceman being one of a surprisingly pleasant kind. His earlier caresses weren't as horrible as she had always thought they would be either - far from it. Wanting to feel him so close to her again, she guides his face back to the crook of her neck, urging him to continue what he did earlier.
The Doctor is more than happy to oblige, exploring her throat with his nose and sometimes even with his lips for a moment. Donna finds herself sighing, his touches turning out to be strangely enjoyable, tilting her head back to grant him more access. Her eyes flutter closed as she surrenders herself. He senses it, smiling against her skin as he does so.
"Plutonic indeed," Donna mutters, trying to explain to herself how it can be that she finds herself enjoying being touched by him like this so much.
They stand like that for a long time, oblivious to the party that's still going on around them. No matter how unlikely it would've seemed to her only an hour ago, she feels more at ease like this than she she did in the arms of the not inconsiderable amount of boyfriends that she had before meeting the Doctor. Even as she enjoys his careful but intimate touches, she also knows that she can trust him more than anyone else, not to mention the he is the man who saved her on her wedding day. How ironic it seems now that he was the one who rescued her from Lance and the Empress of the Racnoss on the day that she was supposed to become someone else's for the rest of her life.
"But Doctor," she manages to say even as his tongue darts out from between his slightly parted lips to explore her skin, "I can't just go from what we had to... whatever it is that we have now."
"Of course not," he says, slightly breaking away from her, so he can look her in the eyes. She is taken back by the sheer happiness that she sees in his gaze as he does so. "I'm not asking that of you, how could I? I'd just like you to think about it... about us. Take as much time as you need."
She smiles at him, relieved that he isn't pressuring her into anything, even though she is rather sure that he wouldn't do that. But she has experienced first hand how difficult it is when someone you love doesn't return those feelings - although the Doctor doubtlessly knows better than that she'll try to feed him to giant spiders.
"Doctor," Donna says, "if we're going to try this, I want to get to know you. Really get to know you."
She bites her lip, sudden nervousness rising up inside of her. She's very much aware what she's asking of him, knowing that there are so many things that he obviously doesn't want to talk about, subjects he avoids as soon as she tentatively asks about them, no matter how innocent the question.
She is surprised to see the look of relief on his face when he basically agrees to open up with her more, as if he actually likes the prospect of sharing more of his history with her. It dawns on her for the first time that maybe that's actually what he wants - someone who he trusts enough to talk to about those things. She can't help but feel honored and proud that he wants her to be that person.
"Yes," he says, "but the same goes for you."
She opens her mouth, almost automatically telling him that there's nothing she's keeping from him, intuitively hiding behind her tendency to back off as soon as people get too close to her, want to know more about her and her life than she's willing to share.
But then she sighs, giving him an embarrassed smile when she fully realizes for the first time that she refuses to talk about certain things just as much as he does.
"I understand that you find it difficult to talk about Lance," he says carefully, reaching for her hand as he does so, squeezing it gently as if to reassure her. "Or the men before him."
Donna swallows, not wanting to be reminded of them, not now it seems that there's finally a truly decent man who has taken a romantic interest in her, but she knows exactly what he means.
"I want to know you, Donna," he adds, "really know you. They are part of your life... just like the war and the family I lost are part of mine."
She stares at him, almost unable to believe that he mentioned the Time War and the children he once had on his own accord, subjects he only vaguely hinted at in the past. She can see how difficult it is to refer to it even now, but that he wants to anyway for the sake of her - of them.
Donna tightens her grip on the Doctor's hand, pulling him closer to her again to make clear to him just how much it means to her that he's willing to share those parts of his past with her.
"But we'll take it slowly, won't we, Doctor?"
Every minute she spends with him she's more convinced that she indeed wants to be more to him than his best friend, but at the same time she feels that it won't always be easy, that there are very big differences between them indeed. Just because she doesn't experience them as such any longer, doesn't mean that they aren't there anymore at all.
"Very slowly," the Doctor agrees.
He moves closer to her, into her personal space. In spite of herself, Donna tenses when he leans in to her. The thought of being kissed by him doesn't horrify her like it did for a long time at all, but she doesn't think that she's ready for it just yet.
"We'll take small steps," he promises her, moving away from her a little. "Ruining this - us - is the last thing I want."
She nods and when he moves closer to her again, she stays calm, even as he closes the distance between their faces. He kisses her temple tenderly, his lashes brushing against her skin, causing her to sigh happily. He has that done a few times before, but his lips linger much longer now, leaving no doubt about both his carefulness and his eventual intentions.
"What do you want to do now?" he asks when he moves away from her at length.
It's a difficult question indeed - until she remembers the man whose question eventually caused the Doctor to reveal his true feelings to her.
"I believe there's a party going on here, with an ambassador who we can confuse just a bit more," she says, smiling wickedly at him.
"It's a date," he says, beaming at her and offering her his arm, looking meaningfully at the dance floor in the middle of the room where dozens of couples are dancing to the slow music already.
"A date-date," she confirms, reaching for his hand instead, entwining their fingers as she pulls him enthusiastically to the dance floor.
Until very recently, the mere idea of saying something like this to him would've been a rather disturbing one indeed. But right now, she's only excited at the prospect, eager to find out where this new path will take them. In the same way, dancing with him like that is suddenly a lot more tempting.
"Why, Donna Noble, I thought you'd never ask."
Author: Angel1605
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing/characters: Ten/Donna
Genre: Friendship, romance
Rating: PG
Word count: c. 4000
Disclaimer: If I'd own them, I wouldn't be writing this.
Summary: Donna has to face a huge surprise when the Doctor and she are mistaken for a couple once again.
Author's note: First post!
"No, we're not married ," the Doctor says to the planet's ambassador, who has just asked once more the question that seems to haunt them whenever they go somewhere together.
"We're not a couple," Donna adds, almost simultaneously, preventing herself from rolling her eyes at the well-meaning ambassador who just added himself to the ever growing list of people who for some reason think that the Doctor and she are romantically involved. It's the third time that this happens on that day alone and Donna has to admit to herself that it's getting rather worrying.
"Never."
"Never ever."
"We're so not together."
"Absolutely not."
"It's not going to happen."
"Ever."
It was somewhat funny at first to dismiss these wrongful assumptions, if only to see the look of shock and confusion on people's faces, but Donna is with each occurrence more and more aware that people must have a reason to think that the Doctor and she are more than friends. In fact, judging by the frequency with which it happens, a lot of people do - plenty of people, different people, everywhere; that makes it unfortunately impossible to dismiss their assumptions as sheer madness.
But still, except for the best friends behavior and frequent hand-holding (indeed, that is perhaps rather suspicious, no matter how innocent and not romantic it is in their case), Donna has absolutely no idea how people can think that the Doctor and she are together.
"I can assure you that my feelings for Donna are nothing but plutonic."
Plutonic?
Donna looks at the Doctor, wondering whether the poison that they saved the planet from earlier that day has affected him after all. He said that the gas wasn't dangerous for Time Lords and even humans, but when she takes a proper look at him, he looks rather... odd.
"Plutonic?" the ambassador asks, one eyebrow raised, having heard the Doctor's strange slip of tongue as well.
"Platonic," the Time Lord says quickly, as if noticing his mistake only then. "Platonic, that's what I meant."
His usually pale face is flushed and there's something in his eyes that makes her think as well that there's something going on with him. She's about to ask him whether he is alright, but before she can do so, he opens his mouth to speak again.
"Donna and I are not a couple, and we'll never be. Best friends, that's what we are, nothing more than that. Not that I wouldn't want to... I mean, she's a lovely woman, so it's not so strange to think, because she's lovely, very lovely and charming, and she's ginger. I love ginger! And I love... well, that's what Donna is - ginger. And she's a great cook, best soup in the universe, that's what she makes. And stews and pancakes... Even better, she's great to cuddle with, absolutely wonderful. Warm and very, very soft, that's Donna. Nowhere better to sleep than in her..."
"That's quite enough," she says firmly, placing a warning hand on his arm. She doesn't know what has gotten into him; if anything, his speech has only convinced the ambassador that they're a couple after all. There isn't much left of his usual eloquence either, causing her to believe that the poison has indeed affected him.
The Doctor looks at her, cheeks coloring more as he does so, abruptly looking away when her inquiring gaze meets his, showing her that there's really something wrong. Rolling her eyes at his attempt to pretend that he is alright, that he's an almighty Time Lord who can't get ill like mere humans, she tightens her hold on his arm.
"Excuse us," she says to the ambassador, guiding the Doctor to a relatively quiet corner of the ball room where a party is thrown in their honor, celebrating that they saved the planet from the poisonous gas that threatened it earlier that day.
The Doctor just looks at her when they stand still in the semi-darkness, eyes wide and restless, cheeks still redder than they should be.
"Doctor, what's wrong with you?"
"Wrong? There's nothing wrong with me."
Donna doesn't bother to hide the irritation that he causes by denying his obvious illness, whatever it is exactly, just like she expected him to.
"I feel great. Always do."
"Don't try that with me, sunshine," she says sharply. She's almost hurt that he's acting like this towards her; if there's someone who can read him like a book, who can easily tell when he's behaving different than usual and who especially knows that he usually is far from alright, it's her. He knows that probably even better than she does herself.
As if it wasn't obvious enough earlier, he's shifting restlessly on his feet, looking badly at ease even now.
"Can I get you something?" she tries again, forcing herself to keep her voice calm in spite of her worry for him and the slight irritation that he causes by acting as if he can fool her as easily as this.
"I don't need anything, really."
"You don't have to lie to me Doctor," she says, her annoyance with him disappearing immediately when she sees the troubled look on his face. It tells her that something is bothering him just like she sensed already, but that he doesn't want to trouble her with it. "You know there's nothing I rather do than helping you."
She places both her hands on his arms, caressing him gently, wanting him to feel that she only cares about his well-being. He shivers when she touches him, only increasing her worry. Never mind the party; she has to get him back to the TARDIS, and quickly at that.
"Donna," he says with a quiet authority that makes her go still. "I need to tell you something."
There's something in his eyes - about all of him, really - that makes very clear to her that this is going to be very important indeed. She takes a deep breath, bracing herself for whatever is going to come. The Doctor breaths in several times himself, which doesn't make her feel more at ease. Whatever he's going to say, it's probably going to be unpleasant at least.
He's standing still at last, but he's holding himself so quiet that it disturbs her more than his uncontrolled bouncing did earlier. As she's scrutinizing him, he looks away from her gaze and begins to fidget with the edge of his sleeve. It's something she has never see him do before and it only worries him more.
"You know you can tell me everything, don't you?" she asks him quietly, wanting him to know that no matter how horrible it is what he's about to tell her, he can trust her and he can rely on her to help him make things better.
"I know," he replies, briefly looking at her. There's a sudden light in his eyes, if only for a moment, but he looks away quickly again, as if he really can't look her in the eye while telling her whatever it is that's bothering him.
"Well, what is it?" she urges gently, sensing that he's not going to talk on his own accord - or at least, not without her help. She has no idea how she can make this easier for him, but she hopes that she can lighten the mood a little; by now, she's feeling as miserable as he is looking. "Don't tell me that you've fallen in love with me and that you spent the rest of your - or well, rather my - life with me."
She smiles at him, this particular expression less difficult than a moment ago now that she herself is bemused by the sheer idiocy of the mere idea of anything romantic between them.
The result of the joke is wiped from her features however as she looks at the Doctor's face. She doesn't understand exactly what she sees in his expression, only that she did the complete opposite of relieving the tension.
Donna breathes in with difficulty, swallowing nervously as she is beginning to feel what's going on. Although she's still somewhat aware that it wouldn't have mattered in the long run anyway, she really wishes now that she hadn't said what she just did.
There's such a mix of emotions on his face that it's difficult even for her to tell what's going on exactly behind those ancient eyes of his. He schools his expression in a much more neutral one after a few seconds, but it's too late for him to hide the most important feelings that she just read in his gaze.
"No way," she breathes, feeling herself now like she can't function properly, just like the Doctor earlier. "Are you telling me that... are you... are you in love with me?"
The idea is too ridiculous and impossible for words - but she can't even think of that as she takes in the expression on the Doctor's face.
"It's not like that at all," he says quickly, as if trying to reassure her. "Well, not really. Of course not! It's not as if... Although I... Well, actually..."
The unspoken confirmation lies heavily between them. Donna can only stare at the Doctor, unable to believe what he just basically told her.
It would be very tempting indeed to blame the poisonous gas that they encountered earlier today for his bizarre declaration, so very easy, but she knows better than that. He has proven often enough that his biology is indeed superior to hers, that there isn't anything that makes him sick if it doesn't at least affect her in one way or another either. Except for the overwhelming feeling of disbelief and shock, she is feeling fine - just like he obviously did himself until the ambassador asked them whether they were married.
The Doctor looks more miserable with each second of silence that passes and she knows that there is something she has to say, for both their sakes.
Donna could spend hours contemplating his recent revelation, which already has a larger impact on her than anything they saw and did so far together. There is no time for this however, but even if there would've been, Donna feels that her reaction wouldn't change.
No matter how confused she is by his confession, no matter how it turns both their lives upside down, she can't just let him stand there like that.
Not even needing to think about it, she does what she always does whenever the Doctor needs her. She steps closer to him, pulling him into an embrace. Both to her surprise and relief, the habitual way of offering comfort to him doesn't feel any different than usual, before their relationship was troubled by apparent romantic feelings.
He heaves a deep sigh of relief as he is held by her, pulling her closer to him so he can hold on to her more tightly, both is arms encircling her eagerly. In spite of what he just basically told her, she too finds strength and comfort in his arms, just like always is the case.
"I'm sorry, so sorry. I know that this wasn't supposed to happen. I promised you... but it did and I couldn't help it. Believe me, I tried... I tried to hide it from you when I couldn't stop feeling it, but that too... I just can't, Donna. I can't go on pretending that you're nothing more to me than my best friend."
His words are muffled by the fabric of her blouse, against which his face is pressed. But she understands him perfectly, just like she always does.
She wants to ask the Doctor how this has happened, how it can be that he has fallen for her of all people, but she sense that it's not the right moment. So she just holds him instead, caressing his back to comfort him, to make clear to him that she's confused by his confession, but not angry or upset.
Donna can't help but smile a little when he relaxes completely in her arms, finding that her fondness and affection for the Time Lord aren't fading even now that she knows that his feelings for her crossed the final boundary.
"I understand that you don't want to stay with me," he says, sounding more unhappy than she has ever heard him. "I'll take you home if you want that."
"Don't be silly, spaceman," she says, once again not needing time to consider her words. Even with her current knowledge regarding the Doctor's apparent feelings for her, there's no way that she wants to leave him, especially not to go home and return to her former, too ordinary life. But it wouldn't be the wonders of time and space she'd miss the most - it would be him. "I'm not going anywhere - unless you want me too."
He tightens his grip about her, holding her with so much strength that he's almost hurting her, but she doesn't care. She closes her eyes, savoring the embrace.
"Thank you," he says, whispering in her ear. The two words carry more gratitude than anything she has ever heard in her life. She holds on to him more tightly in return, still unable to believe that he is so happy to have him with her, that she matters even more to him that she thought - or wanted.
But as she holds him and he is returning her hug with even more vigor than usual, not ceasing to caress him like she so often does, the thought of the Doctor being in love with her doesn't disturb her like she expected it would. She isn't entirely comfortable with it, but she has the strange idea that this might change very quickly.
Being held by him like this, she can't help but wonder just what exactly her relationship with the Doctor was like until now. It is very easy and tempting to say that there was nothing romantic about it at all, but really... They frequently hold hands, kiss each other's face anywhere but on the lips and sleep in the same bed more often than not. And she likes it. She really, really likes it. Only now she dares to admit to herself just how fond she is of having him physically close to her all the time and that this isn't what mere actual friendship is about.
After giving it as much thought as she can given the circumstances, Donna can't help but wonder whether things will actually change that much now that he told her this.
"I can't say that I return your feelings, but I think... I think that I'd like to try."
The Doctor goes completely still in her arms as she says this, as if he can't believe what he's hearing. But then he shifts a little, moving his face until he can nuzzle her, brushing his nose against her neck, something he has never done before.
Donna gasps at the innocent but still so intimate caress, the Doctor drawing back immediately when she does so. He begins to step away from her as well, but Donna will have none of it. He moved away too quickly for her to be able to decide whether she liked this complete new way of touching each other, but it's very clear to her that it certainly didn't disgust her like she once was convinced it would.
She brings her hand to his neck, caressing him experimentally. She has no idea whether she's doing it right, not knowing at all how he likes to be touched there, but judging from the way he's groaning quietly at her strokes, he certainly enjoys it.
Aware of her success, Donna can't help but smile a little, the surprise that she can do this to her spaceman being one of a surprisingly pleasant kind. His earlier caresses weren't as horrible as she had always thought they would be either - far from it. Wanting to feel him so close to her again, she guides his face back to the crook of her neck, urging him to continue what he did earlier.
The Doctor is more than happy to oblige, exploring her throat with his nose and sometimes even with his lips for a moment. Donna finds herself sighing, his touches turning out to be strangely enjoyable, tilting her head back to grant him more access. Her eyes flutter closed as she surrenders herself. He senses it, smiling against her skin as he does so.
"Plutonic indeed," Donna mutters, trying to explain to herself how it can be that she finds herself enjoying being touched by him like this so much.
They stand like that for a long time, oblivious to the party that's still going on around them. No matter how unlikely it would've seemed to her only an hour ago, she feels more at ease like this than she she did in the arms of the not inconsiderable amount of boyfriends that she had before meeting the Doctor. Even as she enjoys his careful but intimate touches, she also knows that she can trust him more than anyone else, not to mention the he is the man who saved her on her wedding day. How ironic it seems now that he was the one who rescued her from Lance and the Empress of the Racnoss on the day that she was supposed to become someone else's for the rest of her life.
"But Doctor," she manages to say even as his tongue darts out from between his slightly parted lips to explore her skin, "I can't just go from what we had to... whatever it is that we have now."
"Of course not," he says, slightly breaking away from her, so he can look her in the eyes. She is taken back by the sheer happiness that she sees in his gaze as he does so. "I'm not asking that of you, how could I? I'd just like you to think about it... about us. Take as much time as you need."
She smiles at him, relieved that he isn't pressuring her into anything, even though she is rather sure that he wouldn't do that. But she has experienced first hand how difficult it is when someone you love doesn't return those feelings - although the Doctor doubtlessly knows better than that she'll try to feed him to giant spiders.
"Doctor," Donna says, "if we're going to try this, I want to get to know you. Really get to know you."
She bites her lip, sudden nervousness rising up inside of her. She's very much aware what she's asking of him, knowing that there are so many things that he obviously doesn't want to talk about, subjects he avoids as soon as she tentatively asks about them, no matter how innocent the question.
She is surprised to see the look of relief on his face when he basically agrees to open up with her more, as if he actually likes the prospect of sharing more of his history with her. It dawns on her for the first time that maybe that's actually what he wants - someone who he trusts enough to talk to about those things. She can't help but feel honored and proud that he wants her to be that person.
"Yes," he says, "but the same goes for you."
She opens her mouth, almost automatically telling him that there's nothing she's keeping from him, intuitively hiding behind her tendency to back off as soon as people get too close to her, want to know more about her and her life than she's willing to share.
But then she sighs, giving him an embarrassed smile when she fully realizes for the first time that she refuses to talk about certain things just as much as he does.
"I understand that you find it difficult to talk about Lance," he says carefully, reaching for her hand as he does so, squeezing it gently as if to reassure her. "Or the men before him."
Donna swallows, not wanting to be reminded of them, not now it seems that there's finally a truly decent man who has taken a romantic interest in her, but she knows exactly what he means.
"I want to know you, Donna," he adds, "really know you. They are part of your life... just like the war and the family I lost are part of mine."
She stares at him, almost unable to believe that he mentioned the Time War and the children he once had on his own accord, subjects he only vaguely hinted at in the past. She can see how difficult it is to refer to it even now, but that he wants to anyway for the sake of her - of them.
Donna tightens her grip on the Doctor's hand, pulling him closer to her again to make clear to him just how much it means to her that he's willing to share those parts of his past with her.
"But we'll take it slowly, won't we, Doctor?"
Every minute she spends with him she's more convinced that she indeed wants to be more to him than his best friend, but at the same time she feels that it won't always be easy, that there are very big differences between them indeed. Just because she doesn't experience them as such any longer, doesn't mean that they aren't there anymore at all.
"Very slowly," the Doctor agrees.
He moves closer to her, into her personal space. In spite of herself, Donna tenses when he leans in to her. The thought of being kissed by him doesn't horrify her like it did for a long time at all, but she doesn't think that she's ready for it just yet.
"We'll take small steps," he promises her, moving away from her a little. "Ruining this - us - is the last thing I want."
She nods and when he moves closer to her again, she stays calm, even as he closes the distance between their faces. He kisses her temple tenderly, his lashes brushing against her skin, causing her to sigh happily. He has that done a few times before, but his lips linger much longer now, leaving no doubt about both his carefulness and his eventual intentions.
"What do you want to do now?" he asks when he moves away from her at length.
It's a difficult question indeed - until she remembers the man whose question eventually caused the Doctor to reveal his true feelings to her.
"I believe there's a party going on here, with an ambassador who we can confuse just a bit more," she says, smiling wickedly at him.
"It's a date," he says, beaming at her and offering her his arm, looking meaningfully at the dance floor in the middle of the room where dozens of couples are dancing to the slow music already.
"A date-date," she confirms, reaching for his hand instead, entwining their fingers as she pulls him enthusiastically to the dance floor.
Until very recently, the mere idea of saying something like this to him would've been a rather disturbing one indeed. But right now, she's only excited at the prospect, eager to find out where this new path will take them. In the same way, dancing with him like that is suddenly a lot more tempting.
"Why, Donna Noble, I thought you'd never ask."