(Untitled)
I can't believe I let Spike use me like that! He was being too nice, bordeline sweet, and the bottom line is that I should have known. There were so many warning signs; his hair for one. Colored and styled by NASA, commonly mistaken for an oil slick. Then there was that speech about wanting to make me stop crying. He just wanted me to shut up long
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Comments 19
"Cordy?"
Lookin' down at the ground, I just sighed. I'd fucked up, and I wasn't rightly sure HOW or WHY or much of anythin', except I had. Slept with her, woke up fine and happy, then Harm had...
Oh, right!
"Cordy, it's Harm's fault!"
Yeah, for whatever the bloody hell it was that I'd done wrong. "Look...sorry, ok? This whole thing is new t'me and..." Bugger. I rested my head against her door, sighin' again and tracin' little lines on the doorframe. "Just don't know what t'do here, pet. And I feel right stupid standin' outside your door talkin' t'it instead of t'you."
"Cordy?"
Nothin'. Oh, for fuck's sake, had I been THAT bad? I didn't think so, after all, she'd been the one who'd left me alone with Harm!!!!
"Open the soddin' door! I'm tired of not seein' you and tired of talkin' t'Harm and....Cordy? Oh, COME ON!"
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That was enough-he was more demandingly whiny than I could take, so for the sake of my sanity I got up and walked over to the door. I didn't open it because I didn't want to open it. But I was more than happy to scream through the door.
"I don't have anything to say to you! Go annoy someone else."
The 'else' part of that comment was probably a little hurtful. Good, he was hurtful. Dishing it back to him was the least that I could do. Spike can give it just fine, but he can't take it.
"Go annoy someone who cares."
With my luck Fred will wander her way down the hall and wonder why we we're having a screaming match through the door, but Harmony'll clear her up on that. She lived for gossip, she lives again, it'll work out just fine for her.
And it'll piss him off more.
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I was gonna protest, but then she kept right on talkin'.
"Go annoy someone who cares."
Uh-huh. So much for not havin' anythin' t'say t'me.
I sunk t'the floor, my back restin' on the door as I lit up a fag and inhaled deeply. Couldn't be smokin' 'round her, seein' as how she was all particular and shit.
"I AM annoyin' someone who cares," I pointed out, hopin' I was right 'bout that one. "Just...look, are we gonna fight with the door shut? Just so's I know and I can get comfy-like before the snarks begin."
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Damn him! I kept silent instead of giving confirmation or denial. Denying it would sting him enough, but he's fairly smart, he knows that I wouldn't be this hurt by him if I didn't care.
Why do I care anyway? This is L.A., people have one night stands all the time, and I bet they never get upset over a comment, scratch that-a compliment. It's really sad that I've lived here for six years and still don't know how that works.
Even Angel gets it.
"Just...look, are we gonna fight with the door shut? Just so's I know and I can get comfy-like before the snarks begin."
"No..."
It was a weak answer, immediately followed by a "Maybe..." as I sat down on the floor and supported my back against my side of the door.
"Why can't you just leave me alone? I like being mad at you! I'm supposed to be mad at you! I don't plan to STOP being mad at you anytime soon. You're wasting your time."
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