life in general
College life is nothing if not a roller coaster. I have had so many ups and downs and sideways and upside downs that I dont know how I'm still here, but I am. Now, this is not to say that I'm not pretty much the happiest that I have been in a while, but there have been some crazy ups and downs.
I have learned how much of a douchebag boys can be yet at the same time how wonderful they are. How I could never live without them. There are some boys that you just want to hug or talk to for hours- nothing (mostly) more. Guys that you'd trust completely. There are boys that use girls for their own benefit. Guys that want to claim you as their own- brand you and put a leash on you. Guys that just marvel at your existance. There are some that want to have a relationship but don't seem to know how to go about it, whether this is due to emotional instability or insecurity or whatnot. And there are creeps. But most of all, there are those guys that you just want to curl up to and stay there forever. Guys that make you smile with the littlest word or look. Guys that want to make you happy and that respect you more than you probably deserve. Those are the ones worth keeping.
I am not proud and in some ways am proud of the fact that I have met such boys over the past weeks. I have met them, have kissed some of them, have talked to them. Most of all, I've learned from them. Hopefully, the last guy will be around for more than just a moment because I really enjoy him and the way that I feel around him. I have rarely been that relaxed and perfectly comfortable.
Classes. The whole (technical) reason we go to college. They're not bad. I enjoy most of my teachers and they have been fairly low-stress. Yes, they're a challenge. Yes, I'm going to have to work at them. Yes, they are teaching me and helping me to grow. I love class- especially when I'm not so tired I'm falling asleep. Plus, it doesnt hurt that my first class in college (Acting) started off with the hokey pokey. Welcome to college!
Friends. I have them. whoa. lots. People like me here. Granted, I have more guy friends than girls, but that's natural for me. Kinda sucks at times, but it's who I'm more comfortable with. My friends are really, really diverse too. From gay guys to preps to jocks to theatre dorks to music dorks to smart kids to army boys to losers to, well, you got the point a long time ago. I really love the diversity. There is a person for every occasion, every mood. And they all reach a different part of me.
Even the people that aren't your friends are generally nice. Morgantown, despite its craziness, is a generally nice town. I had a man the other night in a cowboy hat tip his hat at me while saying, "howdy, miss" in all seriousness. Everything tends to be ladies first (especially when there are kegs involved, though I think there may be ulterior motives where that is concerned...) and people go out of their way to help you out. If you have a question and ask someone, they're more than happy to take time out of their life to help you. Morgantown may be one of the friendliest places I've ever gone.
I know that I mentioned that Morgantown is crazy, but crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. When you can walk down the sidewalk and someone says "Let's Go" and 10 other people respond with "Mountaineers!!" you know you're in a Morgantown. When you can hear at 3 in the morning a large group of drunken men singing our school song, "Country Roads" by John Denver, you know you're in Morgantown. I've woken up on several occasions to sirens or yelling or loud music or singing. But this is what I love. There is so much spirit and love contained in this small place that I cant help but wonder why anyone would go anywhere else. WVU students are WVUs greatest fans. Once a Mountaineer, always a Mountaineer. And to us Mountaineers, Morgantown is home.
These past couple weeks have pushed and pulled beyond limits. I've cried, I've laughed, I've smiled and I've sat in pure joy at life in general. I have also gotten pissed off at people, told them off, stood up for what I believe in and been both proud and ashamed of myself. Slowly, though, I'm growing into who I am. I am learning from people and from myself. I am becoming more entirely me and it makes me so happy to see that. I love Morgantown. I love WVU. I love the people I'm with. I love freedom. I love college. I love life.