(no subject)
Tomorrow would have been me and Josh's 7 year anniversary. Instead, he broke up with me just about a month shy of our 5 year anniversary. Yes, our anniversary was on Saint Patrick's day. We met at a college party, you see, and were drunk. These past two years I've learned a lot. I've learned how to be independent on not depend on people. I've learned how to spend Christmas alone. I've learned how to be single and be ok with it. I've learned the value of long distance friendships. I won't pretend that our break up didn't hurt me, but looking back, I'm glad he dumped me. People ask "any chance of you getting back together?" For the first year I'd say "I hope so." I'd call him and message him every few weeks and hope that he'd forgiven me. But now that's the last thing I'd want. He was abusive. He shoved me, strangled me, and dug his nails so deeply into my skin that he nearly made me bleed. He called me stupid and fat and lazy. He broke up with me because my depression was "too much for him," which I think proves he never really loved me. You don't dump someone because they're sad if you love them. Hell, you don't shove people you love. To this day I do not know why he was with me for 5 years.
So, most importantly, I've learned how to not be abused. Fuck that shit.
So, most importantly, I've learned how to not be abused. Fuck that shit.