Not What He Wants

[angelcat2865]

Not What He Wants

Summary: House has some introspective thoughts about losing control and how the different events of his life have affected his friendship with Wilson and those around him.
Warnings: Attempted suicide, some drug abuse, mentions of child abuse and rape and a lot of angst
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: For the episodes Meaning through Don’t

Comments

[nightdog_barks]

*smiles*

Hi, Angelcat. LJ didn't notify me that you'd sent a message until this morning, so my apologies for the delay in answering!

I'd be happy to read this through later today -- so, back after a while.

:-)

[angelcat2865]

thank you ;)

[angelcat2865]

Hi have you had a chance to read this yet or is just so bad you don't want to comment?

Edited do to brain freeze in the the area of spelling

[nightdog_barks]

Argh! I'm sorry, Angelcat -- real life intervened more than I thought it would this weekend. I'll read this tomorrow, I promise!

[nightdog_barks]

Hi again!

I've read this through, and while I think you've got some good lines here, it reads more like a recapitulation of last season than a story.

The first bit -- the "dating choice" conversation -- is fine because it sets the scene for what's going to follow, but then the continued use of dialogue from the show undermines the immediacy of the piece. It's telling, not showing the reader what happened, and since anyone who's reading Housefic already knows at least the basics of what happened, it just turns into blocks of text that the eye skims over

[angelcat2865]

Thanks you very much! I will work on your suggestions.

[dropthetowel]

This is your first? You are doing something right. You've got House. Most newbys go for Wilson. Or get House wrong. You have a great feel for him.
"Was Cuddy right, was Wilson worse off because of him?" This is the House that only the audience gets to see.. "He had never meant for anybody to find out about his shame." This is what drives him and why he is so secretive. Very good.

[angelcat2865]

Thank you for reviewing my story. I love the character of House because he is so complicated! Yes, this is my first fan fiction. I am glad you liked it :)