Why I rant.
Apologies to anyone who's friend's page all this nonsense appears on. You're welcome to remove me from your Friends list if you wish, this is really just here for me to vent on, so I don't whinge to my friends repetitively about the crap going on in my life. There are enough other people whinging that no one needs mine added to it. Plus, it's my challenge, no one else's.
I am incredibly tired, but I'm worried that I'm getting too much sleep, so I'm trying to stay up a little later than usual and have a little less sleep tonight, to see if that helps. Unfortunately, because I am tired I am sooky, which means what I want more than anything right now is Hayden cuddles. Or other people cuddles. Which ever happens to walk through my door. **looks hopefully at doorway**
Actually, the whole Hayden cuddle thing is not as intense tonight. It was earlier today, and I've spent most of it daydreaming about all the cheeky things I can get up to on Friday night as I will be drinking, and I may get away with a little more than usual if I'm a little drunk. Then again, I may not. Depends on his mood I suppose. Sigh
One of the things I love most about using LJ is I can add HTML to my posts, which you will notice I do a lot. I've missed coding, and I'm thinking about picking it up again. However, there are 100's of other things I really must be doing - Christmas Cards for my Preppies and 3 modules of my Traineeship spring to mind. But coding would be fun too. I need to set up a roster to do all the things I love. Then stick to it! Hahahaha
I finally got up the courage/interest to message Adam today. I met him at the pub on Friday night, and he gave me his number, and I wouldn't give him mine. I told him I wasn't really comfortable with exchanging numbers because of the whole messed up ex boyfriend situation I have going on, but he still wanted to give me his number and that gave me the option to message him if I felt like it. So I finally did today, which was nice, and a little interesting I guess. It seems like he is going to change his plans around this weekend so he can come to the pub again because I'll be there. Which freaked me out and I suggested he didn't do that. But again, he was insistent, so I will probably see him on Friday night. So, between Hayden, Lindsey and Adam, Friday should be a good night no matter what happens. Lol. That is a dreadful way of looking at things. Ultimately, I want Hayden. But if I can't be with him at the moment I will happily receive hugs from others, which is where Lindsey comes into it. I've known Lindsey for a little while, he used to be with a girl who used to dance at the Studio. I've seen him at the pub the last couple of weeks, and he's cute and stuff. I think his energy feels pretty much the same - kind of cute, which makes me worry about how old (or rather, young) he is. He feels like a temporary, where as Hayden feels like a permanent. Hayden's energy is a mix of ecstatically cute and grown up serious. Adam is an interesting one. When he's says he would like to catch up for coffee as friends, I tend to believe him. Either he is naturally shielding, or he is content to start as friends and see where things go. This is a new concept for me, because very rarely do I start as friends with anyone. Usually it ends that way because... well, because I'm me and still haven't found what I'm looking for. Or, rather, what I want is being a pain in the a$$.
So, given that they all tend to attend the same pub I do, on the same night I do, I should have fun none the less. Plus, there are all the girlies I usually hang with who will most likely be there. I realized last Friday night that I knew about 75% of the people in the place. I'm not sure if that is something I should be proud of or not? =D Granted, it isn't really a big pub, but still. There were quite a few people I met for the first time, including Garrek and Casey. Casey is about 1.5 feet taller than me, and thought it was rather amusing when I told him I'm 4ft 11. I was wearing flats at this stage, so I was my actual height, and not 3 inches taller as I had been about 30 min before that. Taking flats for when my feet give out on me is the best idea in the world. I ended up staying until stumps, and then Hayden and I stood talking by the car for another 30 min or so. It really does throw me when he does things like that. He walked me to the car, and then I followed him most of the way home. I was expecting him to take off hooning like he usually does, but he stayed in sight the whole time until he turned off into his street. Now, I don't know whether he was just driving carefully because it was wet, and he was pretty tired, or if he was watching out for me then too. Then on Sunday when I got to his place he gives me a hug, and on Saturday when we were saying goodbye (damn it feels nice to snuggle into him), but when he left on Sunday afternoon, he just left. Talk about messing with my mind! Hehehe. Oh well, the joys of not understanding the male mind.
Anyway, I think now is a good time to get ready for bed. I'm sort of talking to Hayden on FB, I think he is off doing other things and checking it occasionally, but I would like to be asleep by 10:30. And I have just remembered I need to be up early tomorrow. Damn!
xxoo