if you want some constructive critisism, i have like, a few things to say.
to me it was a little hard to follow and make sense of, it seemed everything happened really fast.
if that's what you were going for, then good.
however, i did really like it and i think it has a lot of emotion and it's very descriptive.
you are a good writer, you know that.
maybe it's just my personal preference -but i think you should add a bit more to it. like, line wise. instead of all the lines being so short, make them more in depth and deeper.
Comments 6
an i wuldnt just say that cuz ur chris.
that was really good.
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That means I <3 it.
Good job.
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to me it was a little hard to follow and make sense of, it seemed everything happened really fast.
if that's what you were going for, then good.
however, i did really like it and i think it has a lot of emotion and it's very descriptive.
you are a good writer, you know that.
maybe it's just my personal preference -but i think you should add a bit more to it. like, line wise. instead of all the lines being so short, make them more in depth and deeper.
however, i suck so what do i know.
weeee
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