(no subject)
Whenever I’m in a rut in my daily routine, I need to take a road trip, just get out of town.
I have been more mindful about my drinking and lack thereof the past 30+ days. I know I self medicate and now that I’m able to sit with that and understand my relationship with alcohol, it’s getting easier to break free and decide to or not to drink. It’s pretty empowering, honestly! Alcohol abuse type behavior runs closely in my family.
With these changes, I’ve been semi isolating. I feel like I’m pretty socialized through work but Mike has expressed concern. He means well when he says, “I don’t get it, you can make friends easily, you just don’t want to.”
It took about a month or so to let him know I was monitoring my behavior with alcohol. He’s completely supportive for sure.
This weekend he stayed behind as I joined my little sister and her boyfriend for a road trip to Michigan State for her best friend’s graduation. I got us an air bnb, a whole house with two donkeys and a pony! It’s been really nice and drama free. We did face masks the first night and drank tea. The next day we went to the graduation and did a bunch of waiting which was fine. There was no other reason we were there so waiting was totally fine. After the family stuff, we went back to our air bnb and played Apples to Apples.
I feel refreshed and ready to be home to prep for the week. I miss Mike. It’s weird, we love together and when he wants to hang out with me, I ask, “how do you still want to hang out with me when we live together?” But I love it. The time away makes me realize what I can do to be a better partner, especially given the deadline he is under.
He and his partners are finishing up their IL dispensary license application and the deadline is in January.