NEW ACCOUNT. http://wasteofpaint583.livejournal.com/

today me is embarassed by yesterday me

I'm at a condo in Hawaii, listening to a bunch of really nostalgic music. I really can't lie, Hawaii is a delight despite my trying so hard to dislike it. In fact, the climate and weather are really my only two gripes beside the fact of my stay here cutting into my time with friends. It's very beautiful and my skin is being introduced to daily sun ( Read more... )

i feel like whenever someone is attracted to me i instantly become un-interested. i really don't know why this is.

There's a problem with me. But with me, there's always problems. I realise too little too long; too much too little, all disjointed by your reasoning and trying to rationalise the weight that you impounded onto me within a split second. And I am such an idiot, because I will always agree with what you say. With you, it's always oozing with ( Read more... )

I like waking up at three in the morning in my bed and not doing anything except laying, surrounded by my two favorite people, thinking about the overwhelming limits of this so called life i have. Groggy because I haven't had much sleep at all, I feel conscious of something, for once.

My thoughts tend to linger away by themselves.

And it hit me hard ( Read more... )

You know, I believe the reason I'm writing in livejournal is because I needed someplace to write without people judging me and knowing me without saying to me : You're a coward.

I ought to feel nothing today (because I told myself I wouldn't) but I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy when people come up and say how amazing their day was and ( Read more... )

My friends are self involved, faux self deprecating assholes.  I'd like to drop kick them in their collective throats.  If you are one of my friends, and feels this message relates to you, forget my phone number immediately.  I've lost any and all interest in sitting through these tedious conversations about how horrible your parents make your life ( Read more... )

I'm just about the verge of tears.

It's because you are so much more better, I can't stand the sight of myself. My existence is something merely invisible, untouchable, intangible. I can only do so much, and yet I don't. I don't know what more I can do because you are in so many ways so much better then me and every single time I try,every time I ( Read more... )

Your words are like water, smooth and never-ending, and you go on and on. You sound nonchalant about it, occasionally adding a laugh or two here and there. And then,

"I'm sorry."

But in the truest of the core of your soul, you and I both know that you don't mean it. Perhaps you're just saying it to ease your guilt, and I hate you for that. I hate ( Read more... )