Yearly Reflections
I know its a bit earlier than usual, but Im going to do my yearly reflections post now, mainly for the reason that I dont have internet and Im not sure when I would be able to do it otherwise.
I guess I'll break it into LJ cuts so I dont rape everybody's friends pages with my behemoth post.
2008 has been highly referred to as 'The Year of Breakups.' Quite an accurate name really. Kevin and Adrienne, Myself and Toby, Rob and Lauren, Jeremy and Crystal (however temporary), Mystery and Andrew (I think?) and Im sure bunch more.
It was a pretty fucked up year as far as that goes. Im uncertain as to what to make out of this. Personally, I think most of them for the best. I think the people have been generally better off after having gone their seperate ways and met new people. I dont really know what to make of my current situation. I feel really out of the loop or something, Im not quite sure. I really miss Ashley a ton. I've played it over so many times in my head as to what the fuck happened, and it gets me everytime. The problem was me. Entirely me. I tried to be someone I wasn't, because I thought it would make her happy, and instead it changed how she looked at me, and made her have change her mind. I think the main reaosn I miss it is because I know that it was me, and I know I could have done something about it, but didn't. Now I dont really know where I stand. I have a three girls that I like but the scenarios are all out of hand, I think. I mean there's the ex.
Yes, Ashley. Im still crazy about her, and I really hope she'd change her mind about everything, but I know she wont.
There's the girl I have like, and have sex with sometimes, but am not really sure what to do about it. I mean, I could go for it? But I know she likes someone else? DO I cut my loses and forget that idea? I dont fucking know.
Then, there's the girl I kinda like but don;'t really know too much about her other than she likes video games and wants to fuck me. She thinks I'm "pretty allright" but has a huge thing for one of my friends.
There's not really much else there right now, and it's kind of disappointing, I guess. There's no obvious choice, I guess. I dont like it.
As for other people:
Mystery: I really like Blake, and I think he's really good for you. I truly wish the two of you the best of luck.
Kevin: I would really like to meet your girlfriend, she sounds great.
Tracy: You have two great guys to choose from. I think you would be happy with either one. Best of luck.
I think I really just want a real, legit relationship, ya know? My last one I had such high hopes for and I got 2 months out of it. 2 months. That's fucking retarded. I may as well have not even bothered. Especially since I moved out now and I have more privacy and freedom, I really feel like it's the next appropriate step. I think a part of me was hoping it would rekindle an old flame somehow. Moving out, cleaning up my act. Maybe it was what I actually wanted, who knows? Sure as hell not me. Im ok with where Im at right now though. Not amazed with it, but not disliking it, either.....
I would like to say that I met tons of new and exciting people this year, but I really haven't. I met Blake, and I really like him. Out of Mystery's boyfriends, he's probably my favourite. I met all the Americans, but with the exception of Ryan, none of them were terribly memorable or really created a lasting impression on me. I really think that was about it. Im trying to remember back to other people I met earlier this year, but Im totally drawing blanks. I guess I could talk about work people in her, but that's generally dull and uninteresting.
I will however do something similar to what Kevin did in his journal....
May as well start with....
Kevin: Dude, I really miss hanging out with you, but I realize you have a very different life than you did at this time last year. You seem to be enjoying it, and for that reason I wish you luck. I think you hang out with us more often though. Im glad to see your pursuing music furthur though, it suits you well. I admire the comittment you have to it, and I kind of wish there was really anything in my life I had that much ambition towards.
Mystery: I don't see you often anymore either. I think that sucks, but that's also the way it goes. People grow up and change, and you of course are no exception. Im glad to see you are doing well for yourself, and I wouldnt want to hanve it any other way. Unless maybe everything was the same but we saw you more often. I would probably change that. Yeah.
Jayden: I dont see you enough anymore, either. We need to probably hang out more often. In all relaity Im not busy most nights, and could use some company playing NES games. I hope all your work towards your music eventually pays off in a better way than a boat gig, and I really admire your skill and dedication to it. And as much as you're busy all the time, I can respect the way you manage to juggle music, school, work and a social life; I knwo it's not easy.
Ryan Guy: You're my fucking hero. Enough said.
Toby: Im sorry what I put you through earlier this year, but I really think it was what I needed to do. I think rather than dating all these random guys you kind of like, you should probably wait for something else. I appreciate that you've made so many attempts to salvage a friendship out of this, and I dont think Ive ever known anyone else to do that.
There's much more to be said, but I think I should move on from here. Maybe a few shorter ones?
Adrienne: I would like to see you more often. You're a lot of fun, and Im going to try to make you come out for more events now. By the way: Andy looks VERY handsome. (facebook!)
On the topis of work, there's so much to say, but I think I'm going to keep it short. I love what I do. I think I have a real passion for working with hydraulics, but I wish I had another place to do it. I dislike the majority of the people who walk through the front door of my work, and that's why I dislike my job. I think if I got into a real hydraulics shop, I would be much mroe content with my job, as well as considerably more financially secure. That's one of my goals for next year (no, not a resolution, resolutions are dumb) is to find my a better job. I may have all ready taken the first step by workign under the table with a company called Alliance Non-Destructive Testing. I think I get along with the owner quite well. I've given up with working with Ashley's dad. Fuck Brett. I really wanted to work with him for a while but Im kind of glad now that I don't.
This year I've really tried to mature myself and I think it was bad idea. I tried to force it upon myself, but it's not really something that can just be done. Even though I've done some notable things this year, such as moving out, to name a big one... this year has been largely one big step backwards. I have less money than last year, more posessions that I don't need, and less friends and a worse lovelife. Im hoping this is going to be temporary, but who knows what will happen. I think I just need to let thing take theire course, which is unfortunately not something Im very good at doing.
I think I want a career. Yeah, that would be good.
This year in general has been not quite what I expected it to be. I only got to go camping once, I never got to take that biug trip I wanted. I DID get to go to Cuba, but that's different as it was with my family. I mean a backpackign style trip, the kind that leaves with some sese of self discovery.
I've also been 'enjoying' my drinks a lot more this year. For a while I was lsightly worried about becming a slight alcoholic, and I think it has something to do with me getting drunk everyday for like 2 months. Im passed that bit now anyway. Ive been drinking considerably less, and only getting excessively drunk every so often, which I think is ok.
Smoking. What the hell. I can't believe I smoke cigarettes now. I have to admit: I do enjoy it. I've always enjoyed smoking, thats why I smoked pot, and Primetimes for so long. I've almost entirely stopped smoking pot now, whihc is a good thing for me, I suppose. One of the few good things that camr from this year. Too bad I replaced it with something more detrimental. I juts hope it doesn't become excessive. I dont think I could let it.
Some goals for '09
get some fucking internet connected.
become better at handling my money
keep smoking to a reasonable level
keep drinking to a reasonable level
FIND A NEW JOB
try to find a good new relationship.
get better at typing.....
That should do.
I now have 3 microwaves. Toby and Jordan got Levi and I for Christmas, my parenst got us one, and Levi's grandparents got us one. I LOL'd when Levi told me.
Gift exchange was thins year. Kevin + Adreinne both have gifts to collect from me.
I watched the Bob Saget roast and the Pamela Anderson roast tongiht. Awesome?
I guess I'll break it into LJ cuts so I dont rape everybody's friends pages with my behemoth post.
2008 has been highly referred to as 'The Year of Breakups.' Quite an accurate name really. Kevin and Adrienne, Myself and Toby, Rob and Lauren, Jeremy and Crystal (however temporary), Mystery and Andrew (I think?) and Im sure bunch more.
It was a pretty fucked up year as far as that goes. Im uncertain as to what to make out of this. Personally, I think most of them for the best. I think the people have been generally better off after having gone their seperate ways and met new people. I dont really know what to make of my current situation. I feel really out of the loop or something, Im not quite sure. I really miss Ashley a ton. I've played it over so many times in my head as to what the fuck happened, and it gets me everytime. The problem was me. Entirely me. I tried to be someone I wasn't, because I thought it would make her happy, and instead it changed how she looked at me, and made her have change her mind. I think the main reaosn I miss it is because I know that it was me, and I know I could have done something about it, but didn't. Now I dont really know where I stand. I have a three girls that I like but the scenarios are all out of hand, I think. I mean there's the ex.
Yes, Ashley. Im still crazy about her, and I really hope she'd change her mind about everything, but I know she wont.
There's the girl I have like, and have sex with sometimes, but am not really sure what to do about it. I mean, I could go for it? But I know she likes someone else? DO I cut my loses and forget that idea? I dont fucking know.
Then, there's the girl I kinda like but don;'t really know too much about her other than she likes video games and wants to fuck me. She thinks I'm "pretty allright" but has a huge thing for one of my friends.
There's not really much else there right now, and it's kind of disappointing, I guess. There's no obvious choice, I guess. I dont like it.
As for other people:
Mystery: I really like Blake, and I think he's really good for you. I truly wish the two of you the best of luck.
Kevin: I would really like to meet your girlfriend, she sounds great.
Tracy: You have two great guys to choose from. I think you would be happy with either one. Best of luck.
I think I really just want a real, legit relationship, ya know? My last one I had such high hopes for and I got 2 months out of it. 2 months. That's fucking retarded. I may as well have not even bothered. Especially since I moved out now and I have more privacy and freedom, I really feel like it's the next appropriate step. I think a part of me was hoping it would rekindle an old flame somehow. Moving out, cleaning up my act. Maybe it was what I actually wanted, who knows? Sure as hell not me. Im ok with where Im at right now though. Not amazed with it, but not disliking it, either.....
I would like to say that I met tons of new and exciting people this year, but I really haven't. I met Blake, and I really like him. Out of Mystery's boyfriends, he's probably my favourite. I met all the Americans, but with the exception of Ryan, none of them were terribly memorable or really created a lasting impression on me. I really think that was about it. Im trying to remember back to other people I met earlier this year, but Im totally drawing blanks. I guess I could talk about work people in her, but that's generally dull and uninteresting.
I will however do something similar to what Kevin did in his journal....
May as well start with....
Kevin: Dude, I really miss hanging out with you, but I realize you have a very different life than you did at this time last year. You seem to be enjoying it, and for that reason I wish you luck. I think you hang out with us more often though. Im glad to see your pursuing music furthur though, it suits you well. I admire the comittment you have to it, and I kind of wish there was really anything in my life I had that much ambition towards.
Mystery: I don't see you often anymore either. I think that sucks, but that's also the way it goes. People grow up and change, and you of course are no exception. Im glad to see you are doing well for yourself, and I wouldnt want to hanve it any other way. Unless maybe everything was the same but we saw you more often. I would probably change that. Yeah.
Jayden: I dont see you enough anymore, either. We need to probably hang out more often. In all relaity Im not busy most nights, and could use some company playing NES games. I hope all your work towards your music eventually pays off in a better way than a boat gig, and I really admire your skill and dedication to it. And as much as you're busy all the time, I can respect the way you manage to juggle music, school, work and a social life; I knwo it's not easy.
Ryan Guy: You're my fucking hero. Enough said.
Toby: Im sorry what I put you through earlier this year, but I really think it was what I needed to do. I think rather than dating all these random guys you kind of like, you should probably wait for something else. I appreciate that you've made so many attempts to salvage a friendship out of this, and I dont think Ive ever known anyone else to do that.
There's much more to be said, but I think I should move on from here. Maybe a few shorter ones?
Adrienne: I would like to see you more often. You're a lot of fun, and Im going to try to make you come out for more events now. By the way: Andy looks VERY handsome. (facebook!)
On the topis of work, there's so much to say, but I think I'm going to keep it short. I love what I do. I think I have a real passion for working with hydraulics, but I wish I had another place to do it. I dislike the majority of the people who walk through the front door of my work, and that's why I dislike my job. I think if I got into a real hydraulics shop, I would be much mroe content with my job, as well as considerably more financially secure. That's one of my goals for next year (no, not a resolution, resolutions are dumb) is to find my a better job. I may have all ready taken the first step by workign under the table with a company called Alliance Non-Destructive Testing. I think I get along with the owner quite well. I've given up with working with Ashley's dad. Fuck Brett. I really wanted to work with him for a while but Im kind of glad now that I don't.
This year I've really tried to mature myself and I think it was bad idea. I tried to force it upon myself, but it's not really something that can just be done. Even though I've done some notable things this year, such as moving out, to name a big one... this year has been largely one big step backwards. I have less money than last year, more posessions that I don't need, and less friends and a worse lovelife. Im hoping this is going to be temporary, but who knows what will happen. I think I just need to let thing take theire course, which is unfortunately not something Im very good at doing.
I think I want a career. Yeah, that would be good.
This year in general has been not quite what I expected it to be. I only got to go camping once, I never got to take that biug trip I wanted. I DID get to go to Cuba, but that's different as it was with my family. I mean a backpackign style trip, the kind that leaves with some sese of self discovery.
I've also been 'enjoying' my drinks a lot more this year. For a while I was lsightly worried about becming a slight alcoholic, and I think it has something to do with me getting drunk everyday for like 2 months. Im passed that bit now anyway. Ive been drinking considerably less, and only getting excessively drunk every so often, which I think is ok.
Smoking. What the hell. I can't believe I smoke cigarettes now. I have to admit: I do enjoy it. I've always enjoyed smoking, thats why I smoked pot, and Primetimes for so long. I've almost entirely stopped smoking pot now, whihc is a good thing for me, I suppose. One of the few good things that camr from this year. Too bad I replaced it with something more detrimental. I juts hope it doesn't become excessive. I dont think I could let it.
Some goals for '09
get some fucking internet connected.
become better at handling my money
keep smoking to a reasonable level
keep drinking to a reasonable level
FIND A NEW JOB
try to find a good new relationship.
get better at typing.....
That should do.
I now have 3 microwaves. Toby and Jordan got Levi and I for Christmas, my parenst got us one, and Levi's grandparents got us one. I LOL'd when Levi told me.
Gift exchange was thins year. Kevin + Adreinne both have gifts to collect from me.
I watched the Bob Saget roast and the Pamela Anderson roast tongiht. Awesome?