15th Random Encounter - Everything you ever wanted to know about oozes but were afraid to ask

[animalhusbandry]

[Phone; filtered from drones]

Well, it looks like the town has finally decided to give us a passable boss monster for a change.  It seems to be doing rather well for itself so far, but worry not!  I happen to be an expert on oozes, slimes, jellies, and all other manner of amorphous sticky crawling masses of goo.  Just listen to what I have to say,

Comments

I adore you.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Are we supposed t' have any idea what th' bloody hell you just said?

*Because he lost you after the part about Hit Dice.*

[bye_to_yer_head]

Piss.

I wanna see you dodge foire then.

[animalhusbandry]

All right, then. Hit me with your best shot!

[And he'll just stand there waiting to get hit like a huge idiot.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

I can't just... shoot fire at you. We'd need a Pyro fer that.

*But he can improvise. Taking out his bow and a lighter he smirks.*

What about a flamin' arrow? Same thing?

[animalhusbandry]

No, that's completely different.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Well what do you 'ave in mind then? I can't jus' shoot fire from my hands.

[animalhusbandry]

That, in fact, was exactly what I had in mind.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Why th' hell do you think I'd be able t' do that?

[animalhusbandry]

It's quite common where I'm from.

[bye_to_yer_head]

To shoot fire from yer hands? Where th' hell do you come from?

[animalhusbandry]

A small, isolated, and somewhat obscure enclave of wizards located just outside the kingdom of Corneria.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Wizards. Roight. How's this idea, you shoot fire at yerself and then dodge it.

[animalhusbandry]

I'm afraid that isn't possible either.

[bye_to_yer_head]

An' why not? Yer a wizard aren't you?

*Come on. Sniper thought that plan was brilliant.*

[animalhusbandry]

A mage, to be specific, but there's a rather basic problem with your plan. That being that I never learned anything but Ice spells.

[bye_to_yer_head]

*This entire conversation is breaking Sniper's brain.*

Of course you did, how could I be so stupid thinkin' you'd know fire.