J., I think that an integrated human is all those things at once: soft, compassionate, loving, fearful, angry, hating, raging. You don't really get to banish Skippy. (Skippy is the name I once heard someone give to her "evil twin" i.e. dark side.) Better to acknowledge Skippy and give Skippy a bowl of milk and a kind word once in a while. There's no more only darkness than there is every "only light." It's just more complicated than that, and I hope that's a comfort to you as a theory.
But then there is practice. It's hard to be patient with children sometimes. Main point is that you are aware of it and you're working on it and you have set your intention to do it well and mindfully and with full consciousness. It's work. It takes time. Don't be hard on yourself anymore than you would want to be hard with the children. But do be firm with yourself, and keep on working on it, one day at a time.
Testing Uslillith156November 20 2002, 10:24:15 UTC
Ah Beloved... children mirror us so that we see the worst of ourselves reflected back in animated techincolor. What specifically is the Boy showing you that you don't like about yourself? Are you mad at him, or mad at yourself? Every time we act towards them in a given way, they will return the favor and learn both our good and our bad behaviors and then re-invent and re-present for our entertainment and to our horror.
Children test and challenge us every day in every way as they try to find their own life boundaries. They are brutally relentless in their experimentation, their pushing against the edges of the box. This will get worse before it gets better. Teenagers are the ultimate in this regard.
At our age we have accepted some boundaries as no longer needful to fight or worth pushing against. We have some wisdom and choice about where to apply our energy. The children still have enough energy to push on all the rocks, big or small to see if they will move or change
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But then there is practice. It's hard to be patient with children sometimes. Main point is that you are aware of it and you're working on it and you have set your intention to do it well and mindfully and with full consciousness. It's work. It takes time. Don't be hard on yourself anymore than you would want to be hard with the children. But do be firm with yourself, and keep on working on it, one day at a time.
I wish you success! ?
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Children test and challenge us every day in every way as they try to find their own life boundaries. They are brutally relentless in their experimentation, their pushing against the edges of the box. This will get worse before it gets better. Teenagers are the ultimate in this regard.
At our age we have accepted some boundaries as no longer needful to fight or worth pushing against. We have some wisdom and choice about where to apply our energy. The children still have enough energy to push on all the rocks, big or small to see if they will move or change ( ... )
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