Just because thinking of her doesn't hurt anymore.
I remember loving a red-haired girl
Voice haunting, eyes imploring
But all she knew was pain
All she gave me struck my heart
And when I cut the ties, she flew away
On the wings of a tainted angel.
Not much of a poem, but the first line came to me while I was working, and I didn't want to let it slip away.
I wanna talk about Maggie. None of you know Maggie, really, but I think...enough time has passed in my life for me to only be able to write sappy, desperate love poems about her anymore. And hey, that verse wasn't sappy or desperate.
I met her through my Kingdom Hearts fanfiction in my... Freshman year of high school? Yeah, I think so, towards the end. We e-mailed each other and called each other on the phone almost every day, and I was always anxious to get online to talk to her. Of course, my mother was really pissed off when she found out that I'd given my phone number to a girl in Illinois who I barely knew, but at the time, I felt like we were really friends.
Then...well...it gets a little sketchy from there, and even though I don't talk to Maggie anymore, and she wouldn't remember anything that happened, anyway, I can't bring it up. No, it's...more than that. I've tried to tell other people, when I feel like they'll accept it, but I just breach the fringes of what I've figured out from what happened, and they call me crazy, and...it's just hard for me to say. I could write it, but this isn't about what happened. It's about what happened to us from what happened.
So, through the events that happened, I realized...that I loved this girl. I loved her with everything I had, and I wanted to be by her side, and it really hurt that I couldn't...and she even said she wanted me to be there, too...
So now you know I'm bisexual! No big deal, gosh...
But she forgot about what happened, and I didn't. I was left with it, and for over a year, it made me feel like the lonliest person on Earth. Knowing what happened, knowing it was true made me I...guess I kept hoping there would be a day when I could tell her what happened, and she would believe me. I thought that day came once, but she just...totally...
In April of my senior year, I realized it: there was no way I could hang on like this anymore. It kept me depressed constantly, and she just became...increasingly...not the person I had fallen in love with. She was too cold, and I know she thought I was crazy at that point. So I just...stopped talking to her.
It's taken some time, but it doesn't hurt to think of her anymore. I do think of her now and then, write little things about how I'm over what happened, and I'm stronger now...I'd like to think I'm much stronger now.