The Feeling I've Been Here With you Before Prologue B
“Good afternoon Greendale. As many of you know next week is spring break and for…” The Deans voice started to break. “…and for some of you it’s… it will be your last here…” Sniff. “…here with us at Gre… at Greendale.” The Dean burst into tears over the intercom. “I’m sorry.” Sniff. “I thought I could get through it…” Sniff. “…this time…” Sniff. “I was wrong.”
“Guys, can you believe that the semester is almost half over?” Britta asked. “Think, after next week we’ll only have three months left as a study group.”
“I know. That’s why I think we should use our last spring break together to have one last great madcap adventure as a study group, complete with danger,” Abed nodded at Troy, “and romance,” he winked at Annie. Annie flushed then gave Abed a shy little smile. Meanwhile, Jeff had started to grip his phone so hard that one of the buttons popped off and hit Britta in the head. “I’m thinking Goonies meet Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
“Oh, that sounds, umm… fun Abed, but Andre and I have already made plans.
“That’s okay Shirley, I didn’t plan on inviting you anyway,” said Abed.
“Abed!” Shirley and Annie exclaimed at the same time.
“Ow, Jeff did you just break your phone?” Britta asked, scowling.
“What, no…my phone is fine.” Jeff shoved what was left of his phone in his pocket.
“Dude I saw the whole thing, you totally just broke your phone,” Troy chimed in.
“Troy, don’t encourage Britta.” Jeff said firmly.
“Abed why would you exclude Shirley?” Annie asked.
“I know I may not be as cool as the rest of you, but I like madcap adventures as much as the next girl,” Shirley protested.
“Jeff, there are pieces of your phone all over the floor,” Britta pointed out. “Jeff, show us your phone,” Britta demanded, smiling at Jeff’s expense.
“I didn’t exclude you because you’re not cool, Shirley,” Abed said, coolly. “I actually think you’re very cool.”
“Oh? Then why, may I ask, were you not planning on inviting me?” Shirley demanded.
“I’m not showing you my phone,” Jeff insisted.
“Why, ‘cause you’re guilty? I see the blood of your poor cell phone all over your hands,” Britta said in a mock dramatic fashion.
“No, I’m not showing you my phone because this is stupid and CELL PHONES DON’T BLEED!” Jeff exclaimed.
“I wasn’t planning on inviting you because you have the most to lose,” Abed explained.
“Poor Jeff’s cell phone,” Troy sniffed. “You didn’t stand a chance. Not one chance!”
“Oh, thanks…I think,” said Shirley, unsurely.
“Troy, stop crying,” said Jeff. “Look what you did Britta; you made Troy cry.”
Britta frowned. “No I didn’t. If anyone made Troy cry it’s you, cell phone murderer!” she exclaimed.
“Abed, what do mean by Shirley having more to lose?” Annie asked, offended. “I’m only 23. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me; don’t I have a lot to lose too?”
“Yes, but Shirley’s the only one in the group that has a family to take care of,” Abed explained, as if it was the most basic thing in the world. “I wasn’t kidding when I said there’d be danger, and I can’t risk your kids losing their mother. Not on my watch.” Annie and Shirley stared at Abed a few moments in stunned silence.
“What’s the matter Jeff, did Gwyneth cancel your “date” because she had to work the pole tonight?” Britta teased.
“Don’t be silly Brittles, Derek called to cancel because he had to work the pole tonight… because they’re gay.” Jeff, Britta and Troy scoffed in disgust.
“Gwyneth? Really, Britta? Gwyneth? That’s the best stripper name you could come up with?” Jeff questioned, disappointedly.
“Whatever. Thinking up names in the moment is hard. I’d like to see you do better!”
“Ok fine, Tiffanee, spelled with two E’s.”
“Amber, also spelled with Two E’s,” Troy chimed in.
“Amber spelled any way,” Jeff allowed.
“Honeysuckle.”
“Good one Troy, ..Cherry Daiquiri.”
“Tangerine.”
“Spiced cider.”
“Cinnamon.”
“Ginger.”
“Sugar.”
“Nutmeg.”
“Umm, Abed…” Shirley attempted.
“Pepper.”
“Yes, Shirley?” Abed asked, ignoring the banter of his friends around them.
“Saffron.”
“What exactly are you planning on doing?” Shirley asked.
“Cumin.”
“Three words: Stonie Man Fest.” This was met with another stunned silence from Annie and Shirley.
“Clove.”
“Okay, now you are just naming random spices,” Britta jumped in.
“Yes Britta, we are. Why? Because that’s how easy it is to come up with stripper names,” Jeff taunted.
“Or maybe it’s because you’re gross,” Britta said, disgusted with her male friends.
“Umm Abed, I’m a little afraid to ask, but what’s the Stonie Man Fest?” Annie asked.
“Stonie Man Fest is a weeklong event where people from all over the country go to Pawnee, Indiana in search of the legendary Stonie Man. He’s like the Bigfoot of Pawnee, but instead of being a giant ape he’s one part rock, the other part man, and all parts cool.”
“Oh, well that doesn’t sound too dangerous,” Shirley said sweetly.
“People from all over the country… Abed how big is the Stonie Man Festival, anyway?” Annie asked, curiously.
“Oh, guys I got one!” Pierce exclaimed enthusiastically. “Try this mother on for size: Zelgadis,” Pierce said proudly. Troy, Jeff and Britta silently pondered this for a few moments.
“Don’t know. This is actually the first Stonie Man Fest. Troy and I want to be part of the first one ever.”
“Come on guys, Zelgadis!” Pierce repeated. He was getting impatient.
“Yeah, it works,” Jeff allowed.
“It’s a bit weird but I could see it,” said Troy.
“I guess it works,” Britta accepted.
“We plan on roughing it, so were bringing nothing but a camera, our wits, and our will to live.”
“That, and an awesome tent and a butt load of beef jerky,” Troy chimed in, having forgotten all about Jeff’s broken cell phone.
“That’s what she said.”
“Eww, Pierce, gross,” Annie said in a disgusted tone.
“What? I’m just saying what everyone else was thinking,” the old man defended himself.
“No one was thinking that!” Jeff said annoyed.
“I don’t want anyone coming unless you’re willing to risk your life in pursuit of the truth,” said Abed.
“Yeah, where going all Destination Truth style,” Troy said excitedly. Destination Truth was Troy and Abed’s third favorite summertime reality based TV show, and while it was no Cougartown or Inspector Spacetime, they still thought it was pretty cool.
“Who’s in? Annie?” Abed asked, hopefully.
“Sorry guys, I’m going to have to take a rain check. I have to work and I also promised the Dean that I’d help him reorganize his closet during the break.”
Jeff smiled; his mood had suddenly improved. “He originally asked me.” He shuddered. “I declined. There’s no way I’m spending another break doing work at this school.”
“That’s too bad,” Abed said sadly.
“Annie, since you’re not going, I was hoping you could do me a favor,” Shirley asked.
“Of course, Shirley, what do you need?”
“I was hoping you could housesit for me while Andre, the kids and I are out of town at Andre’s family reunion in San Diego?”
“Of course! I’d be happy to,” Annie said with a smile.
“Thank you so much Annie. It’s going to be the first time the whole family has all been together since Andre and I got remarried.” Shirley said, giving Annie a quick hug. “I don’t know what we would have done if you said no, it doesn’t feel right leaving the house empty while where gone,” Shirley told Annie.
“This is probably a long shot now,” Abed quietly glanced over at Annie before turning his attention to Jeff, “but Jeff, how about you? Are you in or out?”
“Hmm, spending my spring break risking my life wandering around the woods in nowhereville, Indiana in search of something that doesn’t exist… I think I’m going to have to pass,” Jeff eventually said.
“Britta?” Abed asked.
“Normally I would jump at the opportunity to go to something called Stonie Man Fest and to be one with Mother Earth, but I also have to work,” Britta said, a little sadly. “And besides, my cat Peanut Butter has been really sick lately, so I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her.”
“Well boys I guess it will be just the three of us,” Pierce said, joyfully.
Abed looked down at his paper, trying to avoid looking at Pierce, while Troy looked at Britta and tried to change the subject.
“Sorry about your cat Britta. Maybe I should make her another PB&J sandwich. She seems to like it when we give her one.”
“You’ve been giving my cat a PB&J? Wait, what kind of jelly did you use?”
“Umm, grape of course, because it the best,” Troy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh my god, Troy how could you?!” Britta exclaimed.
“Wait a minute; you guys weren’t planning on inviting me,” Pierce suddenly clued in.
“Troy! Grapes are poisonous to cats. That’s why Peanut Butter was sick, because you poisoned her!” Britta yelled at her boyfriend.
“Well, if you didn’t want your cat to eat jelly you shouldn’t have named her Peanut Butter!” Troy cried.
“I didn’t think you would want to come,” Abed attempted damage control.
“What? That’s preposterous! What gave you that idea?” Pierce demanded.
“The last time we went camping, you left early and went to a hotel. You also said, and I quote, “I’ll never go camping with you MoFos again”,” Abed explained.
“That was just because of the fight,” Pierce retorted. “And besides, Jeff hates camping more than I do, but you invited him,” Pierce said, grumpily.
“Yes, but with the right motivation Jeff would have come, regardless of his hatred of camping.” Abed then glanced over at Jeff and Annie.
“Troy it’s okay, you didn’t know,” Britta said, trying to comfort a crying Troy. “Hey, I’ll get you a list of all the thing my cats can’t eat, so you’ll know what not to feed them,” she offered.
“Okay, thanks Britta. And I’m sorry for almost killing your cat.”
“It’s fine Troy, I know you’d never hurt any of my cats on purpose.”
“What do you mean by “the right motivation,” Abed?” Annie asked looking at Abed then back to Jeff. Jeff avoided her gaze. Luckily for Jeff, Pierce saved him from the answer.
“Fine I’m going to go to the Rocky Man Fest by myself and I’m going to go in style,” Pierce announced.
“It’s Stonie Man Fest,” Abed corrected him.
“I don’t care!” Pierce exclaimed as he stormed out.
“I’m going to leave too. I have an hour and a half before my next class, and I need to buy a new Blackberry,” Jeff said, taking his leave from the table.
“I knew it!!!” Troy and Britta exclaimed
1948
“Guys, can you believe that the semester is almost half over?” Britta asked. “Think, after next week we’ll only have three months left as a study group.”
“I know. That’s why I think we should use our last spring break together to have one last great madcap adventure as a study group, complete with danger,” Abed nodded at Troy, “and romance,” he winked at Annie. Annie flushed then gave Abed a shy little smile. Meanwhile, Jeff had started to grip his phone so hard that one of the buttons popped off and hit Britta in the head. “I’m thinking Goonies meet Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
“Oh, that sounds, umm… fun Abed, but Andre and I have already made plans.
“That’s okay Shirley, I didn’t plan on inviting you anyway,” said Abed.
“Abed!” Shirley and Annie exclaimed at the same time.
“Ow, Jeff did you just break your phone?” Britta asked, scowling.
“What, no…my phone is fine.” Jeff shoved what was left of his phone in his pocket.
“Dude I saw the whole thing, you totally just broke your phone,” Troy chimed in.
“Troy, don’t encourage Britta.” Jeff said firmly.
“Abed why would you exclude Shirley?” Annie asked.
“I know I may not be as cool as the rest of you, but I like madcap adventures as much as the next girl,” Shirley protested.
“Jeff, there are pieces of your phone all over the floor,” Britta pointed out. “Jeff, show us your phone,” Britta demanded, smiling at Jeff’s expense.
“I didn’t exclude you because you’re not cool, Shirley,” Abed said, coolly. “I actually think you’re very cool.”
“Oh? Then why, may I ask, were you not planning on inviting me?” Shirley demanded.
“I’m not showing you my phone,” Jeff insisted.
“Why, ‘cause you’re guilty? I see the blood of your poor cell phone all over your hands,” Britta said in a mock dramatic fashion.
“No, I’m not showing you my phone because this is stupid and CELL PHONES DON’T BLEED!” Jeff exclaimed.
“I wasn’t planning on inviting you because you have the most to lose,” Abed explained.
“Poor Jeff’s cell phone,” Troy sniffed. “You didn’t stand a chance. Not one chance!”
“Oh, thanks…I think,” said Shirley, unsurely.
“Troy, stop crying,” said Jeff. “Look what you did Britta; you made Troy cry.”
Britta frowned. “No I didn’t. If anyone made Troy cry it’s you, cell phone murderer!” she exclaimed.
“Abed, what do mean by Shirley having more to lose?” Annie asked, offended. “I’m only 23. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me; don’t I have a lot to lose too?”
“Yes, but Shirley’s the only one in the group that has a family to take care of,” Abed explained, as if it was the most basic thing in the world. “I wasn’t kidding when I said there’d be danger, and I can’t risk your kids losing their mother. Not on my watch.” Annie and Shirley stared at Abed a few moments in stunned silence.
“What’s the matter Jeff, did Gwyneth cancel your “date” because she had to work the pole tonight?” Britta teased.
“Don’t be silly Brittles, Derek called to cancel because he had to work the pole tonight… because they’re gay.” Jeff, Britta and Troy scoffed in disgust.
“Gwyneth? Really, Britta? Gwyneth? That’s the best stripper name you could come up with?” Jeff questioned, disappointedly.
“Whatever. Thinking up names in the moment is hard. I’d like to see you do better!”
“Ok fine, Tiffanee, spelled with two E’s.”
“Amber, also spelled with Two E’s,” Troy chimed in.
“Amber spelled any way,” Jeff allowed.
“Honeysuckle.”
“Good one Troy, ..Cherry Daiquiri.”
“Tangerine.”
“Spiced cider.”
“Cinnamon.”
“Ginger.”
“Sugar.”
“Nutmeg.”
“Umm, Abed…” Shirley attempted.
“Pepper.”
“Yes, Shirley?” Abed asked, ignoring the banter of his friends around them.
“Saffron.”
“What exactly are you planning on doing?” Shirley asked.
“Cumin.”
“Three words: Stonie Man Fest.” This was met with another stunned silence from Annie and Shirley.
“Clove.”
“Okay, now you are just naming random spices,” Britta jumped in.
“Yes Britta, we are. Why? Because that’s how easy it is to come up with stripper names,” Jeff taunted.
“Or maybe it’s because you’re gross,” Britta said, disgusted with her male friends.
“Umm Abed, I’m a little afraid to ask, but what’s the Stonie Man Fest?” Annie asked.
“Stonie Man Fest is a weeklong event where people from all over the country go to Pawnee, Indiana in search of the legendary Stonie Man. He’s like the Bigfoot of Pawnee, but instead of being a giant ape he’s one part rock, the other part man, and all parts cool.”
“Oh, well that doesn’t sound too dangerous,” Shirley said sweetly.
“People from all over the country… Abed how big is the Stonie Man Festival, anyway?” Annie asked, curiously.
“Oh, guys I got one!” Pierce exclaimed enthusiastically. “Try this mother on for size: Zelgadis,” Pierce said proudly. Troy, Jeff and Britta silently pondered this for a few moments.
“Don’t know. This is actually the first Stonie Man Fest. Troy and I want to be part of the first one ever.”
“Come on guys, Zelgadis!” Pierce repeated. He was getting impatient.
“Yeah, it works,” Jeff allowed.
“It’s a bit weird but I could see it,” said Troy.
“I guess it works,” Britta accepted.
“We plan on roughing it, so were bringing nothing but a camera, our wits, and our will to live.”
“That, and an awesome tent and a butt load of beef jerky,” Troy chimed in, having forgotten all about Jeff’s broken cell phone.
“That’s what she said.”
“Eww, Pierce, gross,” Annie said in a disgusted tone.
“What? I’m just saying what everyone else was thinking,” the old man defended himself.
“No one was thinking that!” Jeff said annoyed.
“I don’t want anyone coming unless you’re willing to risk your life in pursuit of the truth,” said Abed.
“Yeah, where going all Destination Truth style,” Troy said excitedly. Destination Truth was Troy and Abed’s third favorite summertime reality based TV show, and while it was no Cougartown or Inspector Spacetime, they still thought it was pretty cool.
“Who’s in? Annie?” Abed asked, hopefully.
“Sorry guys, I’m going to have to take a rain check. I have to work and I also promised the Dean that I’d help him reorganize his closet during the break.”
Jeff smiled; his mood had suddenly improved. “He originally asked me.” He shuddered. “I declined. There’s no way I’m spending another break doing work at this school.”
“That’s too bad,” Abed said sadly.
“Annie, since you’re not going, I was hoping you could do me a favor,” Shirley asked.
“Of course, Shirley, what do you need?”
“I was hoping you could housesit for me while Andre, the kids and I are out of town at Andre’s family reunion in San Diego?”
“Of course! I’d be happy to,” Annie said with a smile.
“Thank you so much Annie. It’s going to be the first time the whole family has all been together since Andre and I got remarried.” Shirley said, giving Annie a quick hug. “I don’t know what we would have done if you said no, it doesn’t feel right leaving the house empty while where gone,” Shirley told Annie.
“This is probably a long shot now,” Abed quietly glanced over at Annie before turning his attention to Jeff, “but Jeff, how about you? Are you in or out?”
“Hmm, spending my spring break risking my life wandering around the woods in nowhereville, Indiana in search of something that doesn’t exist… I think I’m going to have to pass,” Jeff eventually said.
“Britta?” Abed asked.
“Normally I would jump at the opportunity to go to something called Stonie Man Fest and to be one with Mother Earth, but I also have to work,” Britta said, a little sadly. “And besides, my cat Peanut Butter has been really sick lately, so I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her.”
“Well boys I guess it will be just the three of us,” Pierce said, joyfully.
Abed looked down at his paper, trying to avoid looking at Pierce, while Troy looked at Britta and tried to change the subject.
“Sorry about your cat Britta. Maybe I should make her another PB&J sandwich. She seems to like it when we give her one.”
“You’ve been giving my cat a PB&J? Wait, what kind of jelly did you use?”
“Umm, grape of course, because it the best,” Troy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Oh my god, Troy how could you?!” Britta exclaimed.
“Wait a minute; you guys weren’t planning on inviting me,” Pierce suddenly clued in.
“Troy! Grapes are poisonous to cats. That’s why Peanut Butter was sick, because you poisoned her!” Britta yelled at her boyfriend.
“Well, if you didn’t want your cat to eat jelly you shouldn’t have named her Peanut Butter!” Troy cried.
“I didn’t think you would want to come,” Abed attempted damage control.
“What? That’s preposterous! What gave you that idea?” Pierce demanded.
“The last time we went camping, you left early and went to a hotel. You also said, and I quote, “I’ll never go camping with you MoFos again”,” Abed explained.
“That was just because of the fight,” Pierce retorted. “And besides, Jeff hates camping more than I do, but you invited him,” Pierce said, grumpily.
“Yes, but with the right motivation Jeff would have come, regardless of his hatred of camping.” Abed then glanced over at Jeff and Annie.
“Troy it’s okay, you didn’t know,” Britta said, trying to comfort a crying Troy. “Hey, I’ll get you a list of all the thing my cats can’t eat, so you’ll know what not to feed them,” she offered.
“Okay, thanks Britta. And I’m sorry for almost killing your cat.”
“It’s fine Troy, I know you’d never hurt any of my cats on purpose.”
“What do you mean by “the right motivation,” Abed?” Annie asked looking at Abed then back to Jeff. Jeff avoided her gaze. Luckily for Jeff, Pierce saved him from the answer.
“Fine I’m going to go to the Rocky Man Fest by myself and I’m going to go in style,” Pierce announced.
“It’s Stonie Man Fest,” Abed corrected him.
“I don’t care!” Pierce exclaimed as he stormed out.
“I’m going to leave too. I have an hour and a half before my next class, and I need to buy a new Blackberry,” Jeff said, taking his leave from the table.
“I knew it!!!” Troy and Britta exclaimed
1948