(no subject)
yesterday was just an incredibly odd day.
first, the bad...my grandma has colon cancer. in terms of a diagnosis, this is actually good news because she only has a very small tumor and it is easily removable without chemo. unfortunately, we don't know if she will actually get it taken care of. she seems pretty resistant to the idea. although, there is a little bit of hope, in the sense that the doctor pretty much told her, if you don't get this taken care of, it is going to be very uncomfortable. like, she seems to be under the impression that she can just decide "oh, i won't get this taken care of and i'll just die, i'm old" or whatever, but he basically laid it out that it isn't a nice way to die, and that if she doesn't do anything about it she will regret it. and if she waits and then wants to do something once it starts being uncomfortable, it won't be as simple of a thing, assuming there is even anything they can do at that point. this is good. like she needs to realize that she isn't going to be euthanized if she decides to give up and die. that it will be uncomfortable and messy and hard to deal with. my mom even said we might need to drop the "n" word to scare her into it. that word being NURSING HOME haha. . my grandma is really amazing, she is 88 (we think, but that's not for sure because no one knows her age for sure) and until two weeks ago had not been to any doctor since her youngest child was born...like 55 years. so just, fingers crossed. because it isn't something that can't be taken care of easily, it's just that she isn't very willing to act. related: 3 of my grandparents and my father have had cancer. i am totally getting that shit at some point, sigh.
but then things got better, austin and i went to the mall where he got two new pairs of jeans that look really nice on him and were a good deal, and then we somehow stumbled into a magical evening at the puma store, where they fed us tequila, gave us a gift bags and 20% off anything in the store, and had a photobooth. then we designed the most amazing pair of shoes, which austin actually ordered and they will arrive in 5-7 weeks. omg. let me just say, wood grain, fur-lined, hot pink, purple, baby blue, teal, gold toes.
then to javavino and then the local. ran into john, and it was again fine and not uncomfortable at all. only the second time i've seen him since we moved out, so a little surprising but not bad. popcorn and two tater tots to supplement liquid dinner, nice.
but then my mom called and basically said that she and my dad want to loan me money to pay off my credit cards. this really hit me out of nowhere. like, i obviously really appreciate it, but i'm not sure i'm comfortable with it. i'm really not a fan of borrowing/accepting money from anyone, it's a point of pride and i am fiercely independent about it. even when i am in financial trouble, the solution to me is never to ask someone else for help. it is my financial trouble, i will figure it out. and full disclosure, my aunt has twice given me some money to help me out a bit, and i was really uncomfortable about it even though i know that the money she gave me was a drop in the bucket for her, it was literally nothing for her to lend it to me. i basically told my mom that we would talk about it when i'm home for christmas. i just don't really feel like my parents are in the financial position to lend me money, and i already have a plan in mind (albeit much longer-term) of how to pay things off myself. although help is nice, we'll see, it just requires some thought.
when we returned to austin's place, we were chatting with one of his roommates when this guy walks in. it turns out to be this crazy dude who had been sleeping on their couch for a while, until he found a new place to crash, that being jail. so he comes in after being out for like, an hour tops, and starts regaling us with stories about fighting mexican gang memebers and helping people cut up sheets so they could pull up a delivery of coke through their sixth floor window and how NO WAY DID HE FALSELY IMPRISON HIS EX GIFRLFRIEND and that is some trumped-up bullshit (although knowing he was arrested in decatur, he's probably right). oh god. i had no fucking idea what to do. everyone i know who has been to jail (this is not many people), it has always been for like, drug possession or dui or graffiti or something, so it's been a quick thing that they did not really care to talk about. it was so uncomfortable...we had to hug him and listen to this for like 20 minutes before he went up to get a beer and we could escape. austin looked at me and was immediately like "SO WE'RE SLEEPING AT YOUR PLACE THEN!" and we hauled ass out of there and he locked his room. insanity.
the word of the day, apparently, is uncomfortable.
first, the bad...my grandma has colon cancer. in terms of a diagnosis, this is actually good news because she only has a very small tumor and it is easily removable without chemo. unfortunately, we don't know if she will actually get it taken care of. she seems pretty resistant to the idea. although, there is a little bit of hope, in the sense that the doctor pretty much told her, if you don't get this taken care of, it is going to be very uncomfortable. like, she seems to be under the impression that she can just decide "oh, i won't get this taken care of and i'll just die, i'm old" or whatever, but he basically laid it out that it isn't a nice way to die, and that if she doesn't do anything about it she will regret it. and if she waits and then wants to do something once it starts being uncomfortable, it won't be as simple of a thing, assuming there is even anything they can do at that point. this is good. like she needs to realize that she isn't going to be euthanized if she decides to give up and die. that it will be uncomfortable and messy and hard to deal with. my mom even said we might need to drop the "n" word to scare her into it. that word being NURSING HOME haha. . my grandma is really amazing, she is 88 (we think, but that's not for sure because no one knows her age for sure) and until two weeks ago had not been to any doctor since her youngest child was born...like 55 years. so just, fingers crossed. because it isn't something that can't be taken care of easily, it's just that she isn't very willing to act. related: 3 of my grandparents and my father have had cancer. i am totally getting that shit at some point, sigh.
but then things got better, austin and i went to the mall where he got two new pairs of jeans that look really nice on him and were a good deal, and then we somehow stumbled into a magical evening at the puma store, where they fed us tequila, gave us a gift bags and 20% off anything in the store, and had a photobooth. then we designed the most amazing pair of shoes, which austin actually ordered and they will arrive in 5-7 weeks. omg. let me just say, wood grain, fur-lined, hot pink, purple, baby blue, teal, gold toes.
then to javavino and then the local. ran into john, and it was again fine and not uncomfortable at all. only the second time i've seen him since we moved out, so a little surprising but not bad. popcorn and two tater tots to supplement liquid dinner, nice.
but then my mom called and basically said that she and my dad want to loan me money to pay off my credit cards. this really hit me out of nowhere. like, i obviously really appreciate it, but i'm not sure i'm comfortable with it. i'm really not a fan of borrowing/accepting money from anyone, it's a point of pride and i am fiercely independent about it. even when i am in financial trouble, the solution to me is never to ask someone else for help. it is my financial trouble, i will figure it out. and full disclosure, my aunt has twice given me some money to help me out a bit, and i was really uncomfortable about it even though i know that the money she gave me was a drop in the bucket for her, it was literally nothing for her to lend it to me. i basically told my mom that we would talk about it when i'm home for christmas. i just don't really feel like my parents are in the financial position to lend me money, and i already have a plan in mind (albeit much longer-term) of how to pay things off myself. although help is nice, we'll see, it just requires some thought.
when we returned to austin's place, we were chatting with one of his roommates when this guy walks in. it turns out to be this crazy dude who had been sleeping on their couch for a while, until he found a new place to crash, that being jail. so he comes in after being out for like, an hour tops, and starts regaling us with stories about fighting mexican gang memebers and helping people cut up sheets so they could pull up a delivery of coke through their sixth floor window and how NO WAY DID HE FALSELY IMPRISON HIS EX GIFRLFRIEND and that is some trumped-up bullshit (although knowing he was arrested in decatur, he's probably right). oh god. i had no fucking idea what to do. everyone i know who has been to jail (this is not many people), it has always been for like, drug possession or dui or graffiti or something, so it's been a quick thing that they did not really care to talk about. it was so uncomfortable...we had to hug him and listen to this for like 20 minutes before he went up to get a beer and we could escape. austin looked at me and was immediately like "SO WE'RE SLEEPING AT YOUR PLACE THEN!" and we hauled ass out of there and he locked his room. insanity.
the word of the day, apparently, is uncomfortable.