You're Unpredictable
So here I am. Packing my stuff. (sighs) Well, it is my last day to spend in packing since tomorrow’s gonna be my flight.
I heard a knock on my door and soon afterwards, I see my mom come in.
“Everything all right?” she asked.
I nodded in response as I packed a few more clothes into my luggage. I noticed my mom eyes gaze through my room.
“Is that really all that your gonna bring? You are about to stay there for about 3 years my dear, in case you’ve forgotten?” my mom uttered. I couldn’t help a little laugh to come out of me with her words.
“It’s all right mom. Besides, you’re gonna follow me there anyways in 6 months time.” I replied, packing yet another group of clothes into my luggage.
Well, apparently, I had this great opportunity offered to go to States with a contract of 3 years time of staying there, and if things do go smoothly and the entertainment agency take me, well then the longer my career there would bloom. Except that, as they say, everything has its consequences.
“Well, you make sure you bring the stuffs you need, and if there’s anything you forget (which hopefully would be nothing), just say alright?” my mom said following her cheerful smile.
I nodded.
“Maa~, alright then. I’m going back downstairs, if you need some help; just give me a call okay?”
I nodded in response. My mom then made her way out of the room. Few moments later, I zipped my luggage and stroll it across the room. I felt quite accomplished after all the packing that I’ve done for the past 3 days. I looked around my room, to see if there’s anything else I might’ve forgotten.
Seeing how it looks fine, I jumped to my bed. Feeling relaxed after all the work. I stared at the ceiling above me, thoughts filling in my head.
‘This is the best, right? I mean, not all great things in life come in packages. Sometimes, there are some things you just have to give up on’…I stopped at my thoughts. I turned to my bedside table and saw my phone. I grabbed hold of it, and saw 2 messages received and flipped it open. Well, that part is quite reflexive anyways.
From: Shida Mirai
To: Umika
Mika-chan! .T^T…I’m sure you’re busy packing and everything, but I’d just like to let you know, that I’m gonna be at the airport tomorrow. NO ONE DARE STOP ME! NOT EVEN YOU! >.< haha. Well, text me later when you have ur time okay? Btw, have you guys talked yet? Just wanted to ask, since even Ryo-chan is wondering. Well, anyways, I know it’s not our business, but we were just curious. Well, bye for now. :P
Well, that’s what you’d usually expect form Mirai. I clicked onto the next message
From: Ohgo Suzuka
To: Umika
Mika! How’s the packing going? Don’t forget to bring the bear that we handcrafted in class okay? You know we worked hard on that! >w< haha. Well, I’d just like you to know that me and Yuto already asked your parents’ permission in dropping you off to the airport tomorrow since it is a weekday and apparently I found out that you didn’t want even your parents to drop you off. Well then, because of that, your punishment will have to stick with us. :P And also, has he talked to you yet? Well, hope you can give me a call later when you’re free, okay?... :)
Well there’s Suzu-chan. I guess there’s no helping even if I say no to the both of them, like these two would actually care about that matter, when they obviously dealt with the matter of seeing me off tomorrow. I looked at the messages again, ‘has he talked to you yet?’; ‘Btw, have you guys talked yet?’ I sighed, exasperated. Yeah, even I hope he’d say something. Co’z ever since the day that I told him of the matter, he just answered plainly.
I only had a month left before my departure, and I must admit I didn’t how I’ll be breaking the news to him because up until this time, I have not yet mentioned it to him. When finally, I had the opportunity to tell him about it when coincidentally his whole group (Hey!Say!JUMP), just did a photoshoot nearby the place where I was having my photoshoot. So when I messaged him of my location, he insisted on dropping me home.
That day, I made up my mind on telling him about the contract to the states.
“Ne, Chinen?” I uttered.
“Hai?” he replied. We were walking side by side. We were just a few walks away from my home.
“un.. ano.. there’s something I have to tell you”
“oh.. what is it?” he asked with a smile.
“anou… there’s this contract that I have to do for the entertainment agency”
“um” he uttered, looking straight ahead.
“and.. I might have to live in the States”
There was silence for a moment as we kept on walking, and then I notice him stop in his tracks.
I turned to face him, with quite a few distances between us, since I continued walking since his pause. There was the blank expression on his face that I never saw. Knowing Chinen, you can never know what to expect, and in moments like these… even I don’t know what to do, and how I will answer the questions he’s surely about to give me.
I looked down to my feet, not knowing how long this time of thoughts would occur between us. He was the one to break the silence.
“I see” he uttered.
I lifted my head up to see his expression. He was smiling, and at that instant, I swear I was confuse as to how I’m suppose to react on the matter.
“Well, gambatte ne?” he added.
I just nodded. I believe I was left dumbfounded.
“Ah, you should probably go in since it is getting late” he said.
I didn’t even notice that we were already at the front of my house. I nodded in response to him, and walked through the house gates, and onto the porch. I stopped on my tracks and looked back in his direction.
He still stood there, eyes on me. I couldn’t see them clearly with the night sky. He then gave me smile, and turned on his way.
My eyes followed him until his silhouette disappeared on my sight.
Since then, I never got the chance to talk to him again. Whenever in school, I would only see him during class hours but during break hours, I never see him. Everything felt like it was hanging. Time came that I had to stop going to school for a few days for the preparation of my departure. I only kept in contact with Mirai-chan, and Suzu-chan along with Yuto-kun and Yamada-kun.
I looked at the time at my phone. It was already 10:30 in the evening. My flight will be 9 tomorrow morning. I landed myself back flat on my bed. I messaged Suzu-chan, and Mirai-chan…
To: Ohgo Suzuka; Shida Mirai
From: Umika
Alright then. Like I can do anything when you guys already made up your mind on the matter. D: haha. Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow then. Arigatou. :) Oyasumi. c:
A little later, my parents came in to say their goodbyes and goodnights to me, since I did ask them to treat the day tomorrow as a regular day, that as if I am only to be gone for a shooting day as usual.
I also double checked on my stuffs for tomorrow’s flight, and when I was assured. I went to the washroom and took a quick bath and then landed myself again back unto my bed.
I checked on my phone, and saw quite a few messages from friends bidding their goodbyes and such. Time check, it was already 12:30 a.m. While I lie down on my bed, a debate occurs in my head.
I then flip my phone open and sort through my contacts, and found his name ‘Chinen Yuri’. I stared at the screen for sometime then made up my mind and pressed the call button.
As usual…
“Domo. Gomen, but I’m not available right now. Please leave a message and I’ll try to get back on you as soon as possible. Arigatou.” His voice said.
“un.. anou…Chinen.” Here I am again, not knowing what to say. (Umika-baka) “… I… um… I’m leaving. That’s all I wanted to say.. um. Your alright, ne?.. I gotta go. Oyasumi.” I paused for quite some moments then said “Sayonara” and ended the call.
*****
“Mika-chan…(sobs)” Mirai-chan keeps saying as she hugs me tight. Well, this has been so for the past 3 minutes. I can’t really but kind of chuckle at this moment.
Suzu-chan, Yuto-kun, and Yamada-kun are all with me in the airport. Suzu-chan and Yuto-kun were the ones that accompanied me from my house to the airport, and met Yamada-san and Mirai-chan here. Which leads us all to this moment.
“Don’t forget to e-mail me from time to time okay? Promise me” Mira-chain said, releasing her long lasted hug on me. I nodded in response to her words.
“Mirai-chan, if you hug her any longer than this, Umika-chan might not get through the flight with her body turned squished with you hugs” Yamada-kun uttered. All of us couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Urusai, it’s alright to hug her tight like this since the next time I’m gonna do this will probably be after 3 years” Mirai-chan replied back, with a little annoyance.
“Well, don’t worry Mirai-chan, I’m sure Umika-chan will miss you too” Suzu-chan uttered with a smile.
For quite some time, we chatted like this while I waited for the nearing time I shall enter my board gates, and when that time came, I prepared myself in handling my luggage.
“Ne, Ryo-chan, is Chinen really not gonna come?” I heard Mirai utter at a low voice.
“I really don’t know… I’ve been trying to contact him since before we left from your house,” Yamada-kun replied taking his phone out and checking on it. All of us turned in his direction when he shook his head in disappointment “nope, still no sign of him.”
“Well, even I haven’t heard of him since our last rehearsal” Yuto-kun said.
“Maa~, this way he’ll never get to say goodbye to Mika-chan” Mirai-chan exclaimed with quite some frustration.
I looked down on my feet for awhile then looked up to them.
“It’s alright guys” I uttered, surely catching their attention. I tried to keep a smile on my face. Surely, leaving my friends here anxious of my emotional state is the least thing I wanted to see before I went off to someplace else.
“Demo Mika-chan,” Mirai-chan uttered.
I faced Mirai-chan and smiled. “Daijobu” I repeated. We then heard the announcement for my flight.
“Maa~, well I guess that’s my call” I uttered grabbing hold of my luggage.
“It seems so” Suzu-chan said, approaching me.
I nodded then, as Suzu-chan gave me a hug. “You take care of yourself, alright?” she exclaimed as she hugged me. I nodded in response again. Suzu-chan’s always been so nice like this. She always seemed like an older sister towards me. I’m surely gonna miss her, once I’m in the states.
After we broke our hug, Yuto-kun then gave his goodbye hug. “Gambatte, ne? Umika-star!” he exclaimed as he broke his brotherly hug. We couldn’t help but laugh in this remark.
Next one to give me a hug was Mirai-chan and her words from the beginning, that I couldn’t really help but just nod since I’ve heard for like the nth time, but I’m surely gonna miss her. There’s no one gonna be repeating her words the way she does anyway once I’m there.
Then I got a hug from Yamada-kun, “you take care of Mirai-chan, ne? I’m gonna be waiting for a wedding invitation” I uttered in humour and broke our hug. I heard him chuckle.
“Hai hai. And I’ll see to it that Chinen gets annoyed by this matter, after all the hustle he’s giving you today.” He replied
I giggled. “Not at all. I understand him anyway. I’m pretty sure he’s fine.” I remarked last.
I then gave my group a last look then bowed in thank you, and then strolled my luggage with me pass the boarding gates.
I heard my group behind me chat, and before I totally lost their voices that last statement I heard was “I guess he just couldn’t say goodbye”
*****
Upon my arrival at the airport in Guam, I was quite anxious. For a matter, my English isn’t really that good. Even if the agency did say that someone will be waiting for me here in Guam to help me with communication and get me back on track since I will have to board another plane to get to Los Angeles. The only problem would probably be me finding this person who shall assist me.
I had to use an escalator to get to the level of the next boarding passes, and some lounge in where I shall meet the assistant. After some few times of walking, I got to the lounge (at last). So it seems as well, that it’s still hours early before my next flight, so the assistant will probably arrive soon (I’m hoping).
I took a sit on one of the vacant benches. I looked around to notice the quite surreal place I really am about to encounter in doing this contract. I sighed in exasperation. My mind is once again filled with thoughts of him, and the last words I heard before I left: “I guess he just couldn’t say goodbye”
Whoever it was that said it among my friends, I would surely want to tell them my thoughts about it. Co’z even I. truthfully about this matter, probably can’t bring myself to say goodbye to him either.
I looked down on my ground, trying to stop the tears wanting to come out of my eyes. I did not really want people to think me crazy, to be crying here when I’m alone. So instead of looking down, I lifted my head up to look at the bright lights outside the open window of the airport. (since I seem to know that when I look at bright lights, it would help in keeping your tears from falling)
Upon lifting my head to the light direction, I don’t know if I was at daydream of some sort of moment. For in the few distant near the wide windows (nearly serving to be a wall) of the airport, I saw such familiar figure: his stand, his petite height nearly same as mines, although him a few cm taller than I am, and his nicely lit eyes under the sunlight.
I blink my eyes shut, and even rubbed them before focusing them back to the spot where I saw the familiar figure. It seems that his still standing at the spot. ‘I’m dreaming’ I thought to myself. So I tried pinching myself hard, and even after that, looking back at his direction, his figure still remains, now I can see him chuckling and seems like his eyes are on me.
I braced myself for some breath, as I look at him. He then starts walking to my direction, and when he was just a few distances away from me he stopped on his tracks and smiled straight at me.
“Domo” he uttered. I, again, am dumbfound; struck.
I wanted to answer, but what? Uugghh… I’m left with no word… again.
He chuckled upon seeing this reaction. I felt myself turning bashful, embarrassed. Oh, goodness, I’m gonna be blushing. I hate it when this happens. Yet, for some reason, I feel the tears welling up again.
“I.. I… I thought.. I thought you’d never say goodbye” I uttered. Trying to hold my tears back still. Ugh, the light trick didn’t work.
He smiled at this. “Well, I thought I’d say hi instead” he replied.
Upon hearing his reply, I guess I just lost control of myself and reflexively, as I may have been with my thoughts, I ran the few distance between us and hugged him. I also felt the tears start to fall from my eyes.
I felt his warm hands embracing me back, one hand on my head.
As he broke his hug from me, he held my face with both hands, one each on the side of my face; our foreheads still in contact.
I felt his hands later on brush off the tears from my eyes, as I look up to him. He broke the contact on out forehead yet still facing me, he smirked and lifted his eyebrows.
I laughed in realization. He’s gonna be staying with me here at least for a little while(?). At least that’s what I know. Because knowing this guy, you can never expect the normal come back in normal situations.
Just one of the many reasons why I love him. :)
-> maa~ >.< first fanfic ever written and posted. please be nice. :)
and thank you for reading. :)