Exodus
My fic Exodus is now finally complete! Yay!
Title: Exodus
Author: Annerb
Rating: Teens
Summary: Saying goodbye.This wasn’t how they thought it would end.
Classifications: Drama, Angst, Team, S/J, Future, AU
Season: 8 (takes off after Threads)
Part One
Part 4: Solidarity
SG-1 came together with the same quiet deliberateness that had torn them apart. Quick trips across the galaxy, a few bright flashes of white light, and then they were standing together in the metal hollows of Thor’s ship.
Jack had once thought that being a part of SG-1 would be like a million other things he had been a part of; just a period in his life with a beginning and an end. Something temporal, with a before and after. Just like he’d been a husband and then he wasn’t. A prisoner in Iraq. A father. There was always an after.
Each of them had understood this in their own way. They told themselves that SG-1 was only one aspect of their lives. They had walked away, believing they could move on, become other people. And they had, in a way, but not for the better.
As Jack stood with his ex-teammates on the bridge of Thor’s ship, he finally realized the truth. None of them had spared a glance for the spectacular view of Earth from orbit; they only had eyes for each other. Reunited for the first time in two years, Jack was forced to realize that for SG-1, there would never be an ‘after.’
And he was oddly comforted by that knowledge.
Jack let his eyes travel over the people that now stood in a rough circle, watching each other almost warily. Daniel had gained back some weight in his months off world, but his eyes were still heavy with fatigue, with seeing things he should never have witnessed. Jack should have known exiling Daniel from Earth could never have removed his capacity for empathy.
Sam was the first to move, to break the stalemate that seemed to have risen up between them. Four quick steps and she was in Daniel’s arms, ending two years of separation. Each held the other a little too long, a little too hard, revealing their ragged edges to the other without the need for words. And then Sam was softly whispering and Daniel was nodding quietly against her in understanding.
Jack watched the display from a few feet away and only felt a renewed drive to make these people safe.
Somewhere in all of this Teal’c had shifted to stand by Jack’s side. There was no need for words or hugs between them. Jack could read everything he needed to in the Jaffa’s jagged profile, the way his robes didn’t quite sit right on his shoulders. Things with the Jaffa were not as Teal’c had foreseen. Jack could tell he was just as adrift as the rest of them had been.
But in that moment, watching Daniel and Sam reunite and feeling the quiet presence of Teal’c at his side, Jack no longer felt so lost. He was surprised at how the mere company of these people was enough to settle everything, to make everything seem more manageable. To make the path seem clear.
It was a glimpse of how they had once been, and suddenly Jack understood exactly why they were the ones to save Earth over and over again. When SG-1 was together they were unstoppable, invincible.
And he couldn’t help but think that maybe none of this would have happened if they had just stuck together from the beginning.
Daniel and Sam eventually pulled apart and then she was at Teal’c’s side, her hands touching him softly to reassure herself of the reality of his existence. Jack clapped one hand on Daniel’s shoulder, only in that moment realizing just how much he had missed the younger man.
Daniel glanced up at Jack, still looking more than a little lost, and said softly, “Please tell me we are finally going to do something.”
Jack took a deep breath and looked over at Sam, who was staring steadily back at him.
“I want to steal the Stargate.”
There was a flash of something in Sam’s eyes, quickly hidden.
Jack wasn’t sure what they had expected from him, some magic fix perhaps, but he could tell that his words were not the ones they wanted to hear.
“You want to steal the Stargate,” Daniel repeated slowly, as if trying out the words.
Jack nodded silently.
Daniel stared at him for long moments, looking like he was waiting for Jack to take the words back. When no retraction came, he blew out a frustrated breath. “You can’t really think that will fix anything,” Daniel said, soft hope and bewildered confusion firing into disbelief.
Teal’c tilted his head to the side in a way that told Jack he was seriously mulling over the plan, if you could call it that. “The fighting began because of the Stargate,” he observed. “Removing the object of contention may diffuse the situation.”
“It’s not that simple, Teal’c,” Daniel said.
Sam stepped forward, her brow furrowed. “But once the U.S. no longer had access to superior technology, they may appear as less of a threat to the rest of the world,” she said slowly as if working out all the angles, “At least maybe enough to get them talking again.”
Teal’c nodded in agreement.
Daniel made a rough sound of disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Am I the only one who remembers just how many people have died? We can’t just steal the gate in the middle of the night and slink off like cowards.”
“Daniel,” Sam hissed, her face stricken.
But Jack didn’t need to be defended. There was far too much truth in Daniel’s words for that. “Give us a different plan then,” Jack said instead, knowing that Daniel would have to work this out himself.
Daniel’s mouth snapped shut at Jack’s request and he began pacing absently. “We go back down and make them listen.”
The room was silent once again for a long time, each of them doing their best to avoid Daniel’s penetrating gaze.
“There’s no going back, Daniel,” Jack finally said quietly. “I thought you would have figured that out by now.”
Daniel roughly turned away from them and stared out the window, his anger and indignation apparent in every sharp angle of his body. He just wasn’t willing to accept the facts of their new lives.
Jack gritted his teeth and accepted the inevitability of this conversation. “If you go back, you know what will happen. How long do you really think it will take for them to lock you up? And I’m sure they’d have a nice cell next door for Carter. Is that what you want?”
Daniel looked surprised, turning to Sam. She shrugged nonchalantly, not quite meeting his gaze. “I’ve been gone too long already.”
Understanding dawned on Daniel’s face and he rounded on Jack. “And whose fault is that?” he asked harshly.
Jack wasn’t completely unprepared for Daniel’s anger, knowing that Daniel had been exiled from everything he’d known for more than six months, cut off from doing anything, from any chance at making a difference. Jack, the one who facilitated his departure, made an easy target. “You’re not really mad at me, Daniel, you’re mad at the situation. So knock it off before you say something you’ll really regret.”
But Daniel’s face had taken on that mulish look that was far too familiar.
“O’Neill is correct, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c finally said, breaking the stalemate. “Your anger is misplaced.”
Daniel released a heavy breath and ran one hand over his haggard face. “There just has to be another way,” he maintained.
Jack’s anger finally spiked in that moment, the way Daniel made it sound like Jack hadn’t thought about this. Didn’t he realize that questioning and thinking this through were the only things he did anymore?
“You want plans, Daniel? I’ll give you plans. How about we stage a coup and conquer the world? We know better than the rest of them, so it would really be for their own good, right? But how many more people would die then, do you think?
“Or should we go back in time and try to keep the program from going public? From ever existing in the first place? Because we have been heading towards this point for centuries, Daniel, no matter how much we meddle. How far back would be enough? How much would we have to change?
“Or maybe it would be better if I just continue to wile my time away in the SGC and ignore all the death or the fact that the Asgard High Council is threatening to renege on our status as a Protected Planet because the fabled ‘Fifth Race’ has shown a penchant for violence? One that they are reluctant to see spread to the impressionable, newly free cultures in the Galaxy? And once they have abandoned us, maybe I could stand by and watch as Earth is destroyed by the last wily Goa’uld that’s too damn ornery to die? Or maybe just wait for the next new threat?”
It was now Daniel’s turn to look ashen. To be honest, Jack had revealed more of his burden these last months than he intended, but maybe Daniel just needed to understand how impossible this situation was.
“I…I didn’t know…,” Daniel stuttered shakily, obviously flabbergasted by the Asgard’s threatened withdrawal. Even as experienced as he was with intergalactic diplomacy, he just couldn’t accept that the Tau’ri wouldn’t be considered worth protecting.
Jack felt his anger melt into simple tiredness. “No, Daniel, you didn’t know. Things have only gotten worse since you left and you couldn’t have known, because you haven’t been sitting behind a desk for two years watching everything that ever mattered to you fall to pieces, knowing that there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. It feels like I’ve had a lifetime to think about this. And really wish I could have come up with some miraculous fix, but this is all I have.”
Teal’c took a small step forward at this point, coming to stand between the two men. “Have the Asgard agreed to this course of action?”
Jack nodded, not taking his eyes off of Daniel. “If the Stargate goes, they promise to keep Earth in the Treaty, and even that much cost me every favor they ever owed us.”
“It seems we have little choice,” Teal’c observed. “And as much as I, too, wanted to put my faith in the Tau’ri, it is perhaps best that this fighting not be allowed to spill over onto the innocents of other planets.”
Jack felt burning shame that his people, who had once been the hope of the Galaxy, were now a bad seed to be feared. He briefly wondered if Teal’c had come to regret giving up his whole life on Chulak and putting his faith in a rundown soldier of Earth. “I’m sorry we couldn’t be what you hoped, Teal’c.”
Teal’c smiled softly, barely more than a miniscule stretching of his lips. “We have already achieved more than I had ever dreamed, O’Neill. So perhaps it is best to see this present unpleasantness as a valuable reminder that we are all capable of mistakes, mythical race or not.”
Jack nodded, but still wished they could have learned that lesson another way.
Daniel visibly took a deep breath as if trying to control his emotions long enough to make one last point. “I hear what you’re both saying, I really do. But I don’t think you truly comprehend what taking the Stargate means for Earth. You’re taking away their last chance to make themselves better. It’s…it’s admitting that we never really had any potential to begin with. You can’t take that away from them.”
“They don’t deserve it.”
The stilted words were the first Sam had spoken since the argument had begun. All three men turned with surprise to look at her where she stood with her back to them, staring down at Earth.
Sam’s voice was achingly thin and she hugged herself tightly as if trying to hold herself together. “Everything we’ve done, everything we sacrificed…it was all because we thought we were making Earth safer, better. But they twisted it all around. They made it…something dirty. And I don’t think they’ll stop until there is nothing left of any of us. Until it all means nothing.”
Watching her, wanting to do nothing more than wrap his arms around her and help her hold it together, Jack knew with unbreakable certainty that this was the greatest rationale of all. He would not allow this planet to break these people, to break her.
Daniel’s soft words finally broke the shocked silence following Sam’s proclamation. “So we just take that chance away from them?” he asked, not without gentleness. “Who are we to decide that? Who are we to play god?”
It was a valid question, one that had been rattling around in Jack’s head ever since he had made this decision.
“What kind of people would we be if we didn’t?” Jack countered. It was the only kind of answer he had ever been able to come up with.
Daniel stared back at Jack, processing his words, still looking for any other way. Jack didn’t push him; instead he looked over at Sam who was staring out at the tiny blue sphere that seemed so incongruously peaceful from orbit. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned back to him, her eyes steadily holding his gaze and revealing none of her misgivings.
“What do you need me to do?” she asked.
They all recognized the question for what it was: her vote of support for the plan.
Daniel moved across the room to her side, taking a moment to stare out the window. “I’m scared it won’t be enough.”
“It has to be,” Sam answered lowly.
Daniel sighed, not bothering to deny her words. “I never imagined it ending this way.”
None of them had, Jack knew. But he guessed that everyone always eventually learned the truth: fairy tales weren’t real. And neither were heroes.
Teal’c remained by Jack’s side in a quiet show of support and Daniel eventually nodded his acceptance.
And so SG-1 was reunited, to complete one last mission for Earth.
Part 5: Vulnerable
After long hours of discussing tactics and the exact chronology of their plan, Thor beamed Jack down to get a few last minute things worked out and one final night’s sleep on Earth.
Some primal impulse led Jack to sit out on his back lawn, somehow needing a last moment of contact with the planet for which he had given everything.
A bright flash poured out of his living room windows and a few moments later he could hear soft footsteps crossing the deck.
Sam settled down on the grass next to him, her legs crossed in front of her. For a while she absently picked at the grass, twirling it deftly between her fingers, and Jack briefly wondered if she had been one of those kids to sit in the backfield making daisy chains while everyone else played soccer. Somehow he couldn’t quite picture her as the type.
“I’m glad you’re not doing this alone,” Sam finally said, breaking into his thoughts. “It’s a burden you weren’t meant to bear by yourself.”
“Neither is yours,” Jack said softly, already suspecting the real reason for her visit tonight.
He saw her flinch in the moonlight, her eyes becoming suspiciously bright.
Jack turned away from Sam’s profile, instead lifting his eyes to the familiar bright constellations in the night sky. Would he ever get a chance to see them again? He gave himself a moment to say goodbye to the familiar shapes.
A soft rustling next to Jack told him that Sam had recovered her composure enough to continue. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her lift her face to the sky and he wondered if she was making similar farewells.
“I made that bomb,” she eventually confessed, almost as if trying out the words for the first time.
Jack nodded silently, taking her words as confirmation for what he had already suspected. He knew they were words she had long held inside, tucked away in her lab somewhere, cut off from her friends, every day wondering what she was doing even as she worked tirelessly to perfect it. She was Carter; she wasn’t capable of anything less.
“I think I convinced myself they wouldn’t use it,” she said and Jack could clearly read self-deprecation in her tone.
“You didn’t have a choice either way, Carter,” Jack reminded her. “And you know that. Choice was the first casualty of this war.”
“They couldn’t have done it without me. Nothing changes that fact,” she said.
“Sam,” Jack rasped, reaching out one hand to touch the sleeve of her jacket in an inadequate gesture, not knowing what else to do.
“I killed those people, Jack. I killed them.”
Her arm was rigid beneath his touch and part of him wished she could just let go, even for a moment, and let herself cry, let herself rage. Her harsh acceptance of what had happened, her drive to blame herself, fired the anger that had been roiling in Jack’s stomach for endless months. He couldn’t help but feel that by letting this happen to her, he had failed her somehow.
“I should have gotten you out sooner,” he said with self-reproach, driving an angry hand through his hair. “I should have found a way to keep you at the SGC.”
Sam automatically shook her head, denying his claim to the blame. “It’s not your job to protect me,” she said in a painfully cool, even voice. “Not anymore.”
Jack wasn’t sure exactly what she meant by that statement. All he could register was the stabbing pain in his chest.
Not anymore.
She could just mean that he wasn’t her CO anymore. She was no longer a subordinate that he was honor bound to look out for. But deep in his gut he feared that she might mean he no longer had a place in her life. She didn’t need or want his protection. Or him.
Jack had no idea what to say, how to respond to the cold words or the burning in his lungs, so he just said the first thing that popped into his mind. Because no matter what she thought, there was only one truth Jack knew.
“I want it to be my job.”
Jack heard the soft intake of breath that Sam couldn’t quite hide. There was a time, not so long ago, that Jack would never have said those words, no matter how true or vague they were. But those days were long behind them. There really were no more rules to be broken. And Jack had no more energy for games.
For the merest moment, Jack thought she was going to turn to him and smile, but instead, she pushed to her feet and walked a few steps away from him, her back ramrod straight.
“I don’t deserve to be saved. I don’t deserve…,” she trailed off, vaguely making an awkward sweeping gesture between them.
It was such an absurdly abstract statement that Jack couldn’t resist automatically quipping, “You know how I feel about Charades, Carter.”
Despite herself, Sam let out a soft huff of amusement under her breath even as she shook her head at him in exasperation. He knew they both had to be thinking of the disastrous time Teal’c had demanded a demonstration of the Tau’ri game. They had been lucky no one had lost an eye, really.
Jack watched Sam a moment longer as he tried to think of the right words to say to her, the levity of the moment quickly draining away. “Look, Carter, I don’t claim to know much of anything anymore. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if I could have stopped this war before it started somehow.” He stood up carefully and moved to stand by Sam’s side, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I don’t know if we waited too long or if, given the chance, I ever could have made you happy.”
Sam turned slightly away from him, staring blindly at the lawn stretching out beneath them. Jack could see her swallow hard against something that he could only imagine were tears.
Carters don’t cry. He could almost hear her thinking it.
She dug the toe of her shoe into the grass in a motion of frustration, and the fresh scent of earth and loam filled Jack’s senses, reminding him of just another aspect of the lives they were going to leave behind.
Jack waited for Sam to decide what sort of moment this would be. Was it time to walk away before things got too complicated? Or were things finally different enough? He honestly had no idea what her reaction might be.
Her silence stretched unbearably long and Jack reached out and grabbed her arm. “Just tell me something, Carter. Why did you really come down here tonight?”
Sam glanced at his hand wrapped around her upper arm, studiously avoiding his gaze. “I…,” she stuttered aimlessly, obviously unable or unwilling to explain her actions.
Jack would laugh at them both for their hesitation, even in the face of the end of the world, if he wasn’t so goddamned tired. Instead, he dropped her arm with a heavy sigh and turned away. It was only then that she whispered so softly that he almost missed it, “Why do you think I came?”
Jack might have thought she was mocking him if she hadn’t sounded so incredibly small. He knew what she was really asking him, though, and there was only one answer for her.
He gently reached over and raised her face to his, knowing that words had never been enough for what was between them. So he just steadily met her gaze, and for once hid nothing from her. He let her see a man who would still die for her. A man who had unshakable faith in her. A man who really saw Samantha Carter, good and bad, and still held her in his heart. Always.
Forced to meet this unexpected revelation, Sam let out a soft sound and finally lost her battle with her emotions, a single tear finding release down her cheek. Jack didn’t move to wipe it away; instead he dropped his hand to her arm and carefully pulled her closer. He wrapped his arms loosely around her, giving Sam ample opportunity to pull away, but instead she seemed to melt into him, more tears falling damply against his neck.
He let her cry for a long time, strangely appeased by her emotional release. He held her silently until long after her breathing began to even out again. Eventually he could feel Sam intently wiping at her face, probably trying to erase any signs of what she saw as a weakness. Jack stilled her hands against his chest and pulled back to see her face.
“This isn’t about what we deserve, Sam, or how we’ve changed. This is about not letting go of whatever we have left,” Jack whispered softly.
Sam studied his face for long moments before hesitantly reaching up and running her hand through his hair, playing with the mussed spikes. Jack must have looked surprised, because she gave him the faintest half smile and said, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Jack’s heart was beating too loudly against his chest as he continued to stare at her, not wanting to misread her intentions, part of him unwilling to believe. “Sam,” he said softly and it was a question, because he always felt the masochistic need to give her one last chance to walk away, no matter how much it would kill him.
The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a sort of emotional intensity he had rarely seen, at least not directed at him. It made him feel like she could read his every thought.
“Some things never change,” Sam said and then in one easy motion she lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
Some things never change.
Ten years had passed since the first day he met her. Six years since he consciously realized in one jolting moment that he never wanted to live without her and that maybe, somehow, she felt the same. More than two years since he had prepared himself to watch her marry another man, knowing he could survive anything if it just meant she would be happy. Four months since he heard her brokenly holding back tears on the other end of a phone line because of what her government had forced her to become.
And now, standing on his back lawn in the moonlight on their last night on Earth, she was kissing him. So, yes, many things had happened to change them over the years, but one thing was always there. He never wanted to live without her.
And maybe by the way her fingers tangled in his hair and her lips moved softly over his, she was trying to tell him that she felt the same way.
Jack pulled back slightly, wanting to see her face. She was a little startled by his seeming withdrawal, but beneath that he could see the same longing he felt in his heart. The look he had first seen six years before behind the hazy glow of a force field.
He gave her a crooked grin to reassure her. And since they were apparently doing things they had always wanted to do, he leaned down and took his time exploring that one part of her neck that had nearly driven him to distraction in far too many briefings. Sam made a soft, incoherent sound in response, her fingers digging into his back. Then Jack said something he had always had to hold back before, but no longer.
“You’re beautiful, Sam,” he breathed against her skin.
He wasn’t sure she believed him yet, but he had hope that one day she would. Words, after all, had never been what they were about. So instead, he pulled her even closer against his body, feeling her hands slip underneath his shirt, and abandoned himself to the moment.
Exploring Sam’s body conjured the confused feeling of the very familiar and the achingly foreign. There were so many facets of this woman that had long lain hidden from him. But even still, her skin was like a touchstone, every scar, every part of her body reviving some moment from their past. A reminder of their sacrifices, their pain and their triumphs. Of the too many times each had thought the other was finally lost, along with any chance for a moment like this one, where all barriers could finally fall away.
It reminded them both that no matter how horrible things had become, this moment was still something to be thankful for.
Whether they deserved it or not.
In the pale light of false dawn, they made love in the grass with the last of the stars wide above them, a final, sacred farewell to the earth that had born them. His name tumbled from her lips as a gasp of marvel and for the first time in as long as he could remember, Jack felt complete.
Part 6: Retreat
Eight o’clock on the dot the next morning, Jack walked into the SGC.
He wandered the early morning halls and reflected on his first trip down here and how much it had changed from its days as an old rundown missile silo. It had become a living thing somewhere along the road and Jack felt a slight twinge of loss at leaving this place behind. This place and the people it sheltered had changed his life.
When he eventually made it to the control room, the thumping heart of the SGC, Siler and Walter were both waiting for him, as they did every morning. But today, Jack didn’t reach for the mug of coffee Walter offered him, or ask Siler for an update on the system.
Instead, he simply said, “It’s time,” and watched how the men’s faces paled slightly, but remained resolute.
“Yes, sir,” they echoed simultaneously.
Within ten minutes the Mountain had been completely cut off from the outside world and the staff, save the two government moles now being treated to their own cells, was assembled in the gateroom, moving carefully horded supplies through the gate to the Alpha Site.
Each would be given a chance to decide whether they wanted to step through the gate one last time.
Jack retreated to his office and perched down in the leather office chair that had once supported George Hammond. He ran his hands over the smooth wood surface of the desk and said aloud to the empty room, “I wish you were still here, sir.”
But the hollow room had no advice to offer.
Pulling open the bottom drawer, Jack fished out a small well-read letter that Hammond had left for him the first day of his new Command. Jack tucked it carefully in his pocket, took one last look at the office and walked into the briefing room beyond. He suppressed the urge to walk the halls one last time, to follow the well-worn path between Daniel and Carter’s labs, the commissary and Teal’c’s quarters. They were all empty now, had been for years. Not even a hint of their previous inhabitants remained.
Jack walked down the tightly twisting stairs in to the Control Room, where Walter calmly sat monitoring gate activity below.
Jack touched Walter’s shoulder and said, “Twenty minutes, Sergeant.”
Walter nodded his understanding. “See you on the other side, sir.”
Jack took one more look at the Stargate and requested transport up to Thor’s ship.
* * *
Jack had never been one for speeches. He’d never really understood the need for words, when his actions could speak for themselves. But this war had taught him the awesome power of words. Suddenly power was in the hands of he who spoke loudest and longest.
Keep the people afraid. Keep them convinced that this way was the only way. Silence any other voices, by any means possible.
Words had become the currency of power on Earth.
Jack just hoped they could also be the vehicle for change. And today, they would have no choice but to listen.
Jack shifted uncertainly next to a small platform, still not convinced that this wasn’t a job that better suited Daniel.
Almost as if summoned by his thoughts, Daniel appeared behind him. “We just received a message from Sam. She and Teal’c are safely away with the Prometheus.”
Jack nodded silently, feeling a small beat of relief that half of his team was clear of this planet.
“O’Neill,” Thor said from his position at a control panel some feet away. “Your world leaders are growing restless and their shock at finding themselves relocated seems to be wearing off.”
Jack grimaced at the thought of their reaction to abrupt transported into an auditorium with their worst enemies.
“Show time, Jack,” Daniel said.
“I was thinking,” Jack said as his throat went dry, “that maybe you would be a better choice. You know how I am with speeches.”
Daniel shook his head with small smile playing at his lips. But when he finally looked up and met Jack’s slightly panicked eyes, his face was completely serious. “Today is a day for great men,” he said with a small push in Jack’s back.
Jack stumbled slightly and turned back to stare at Daniel, his chest constricting painfully. If weren’t for the painfully intense look on Daniel’s face, Jack would have assumed he was mocking him.
“I never claimed-,” Jack started to protest.
“I know,” Daniel interrupted. “The great ones never do.”
Jack reached out a hand to Daniel’s arm. “Daniel…,” he mumbled inarticulately. He knew what Daniel was doing, what he was trying to say. Daniel was telling Jack that he forgave him this. That in his own way, he understood.
Jack opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.
But Daniel just smiled slightly and pushed Jack onto the platform.
“Good luck.”
* * *
The lecture hall sat well over five hundred people, and every seat was occupied. Not that any of the people were calmly sitting. They were clustered in groups, some suspiciously staring at others, some yelling and pushing, and a few simply looking lost.
Jack shimmered into place on a small raised platform at the center of the room. He didn’t shout to be heard over the din, but rather simply waited as a small wave of awareness rippled through the room. It wasn’t long until complete silence reigned.
Jack cleared his throat and waved one hand awkwardly at the crowd in greeting. “Hi. Sorry for the inconvenience this little field trip may have caused you, but I needed to inform you all of some world events. Oh, and this is being broadcast on every major TV station, so the world is quite literally watching.”
The crowd shifted uncomfortably for a moment, everyone craning their necks to see each other’s reactions to this astounding proclamation.
“For those of you who don’t know me,” Jack continued, “I’m Jack O’Neill, commander of the United States’ Stargate Program.”
Gasps and whispers rose again and Jack waited calmly for it to pass. He had no notes for this speech, there was no precedence to follow, and so Jack just circumspectly shook out his tingling fingers and cut to the chase.
“I’ve had the honor to travel around this little galaxy of ours for the last eight years. One of my friends from out there once called the people of Earth very young. At the time, I thought they were underestimating us and in my arrogance I disregarded their warnings. But now, seeing what we’ve done to ourselves, I realize that she was right. Earth is very young. Too young to be playing with such grown up toys. Too young to deserve to have the secrets of the Universe at its fingertips. Those wonders are only used to make better and more effective weapons and it’s a waste.
“I’ve sat by for a long time and done nothing, but no longer. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m leaving this planet. And I’m taking the Stargate with me. And the alien technology. Even the Prometheus.”
The crowd broke out into frenzied protest, but Jack managed to quiet them by lifting one hand, his hologram flickering eerily.
“To be clear, I do this so there will be no more reason to fight. No more reason for blood. Something tells me you’ll keep fighting anyway, but at least now you no longer have that excuse. It’s time to wake up and figure out was this is really all about. It’s time to fix it.
“I’m taking my people with me to start over somewhere else. We’re going to keep exploring, meeting new friends and maybe even figuring out a little of that meaning of life stuff, but we’re going to do it in the name of wonder and humanity, not war.
“When you’re finally ready to join us, we’ll be waiting.”
“You’ll be leaving us defenseless!” a voice cried out from the crowd.
As if on cue, Thor shimmered into view next to Jack. He calmly looked around the room, blinking slowly and ignoring all the gasps. “The Asgard have pledged to protect Earth from off-world aggressors,” he said slowly as if speaking to children. “We will watch over you, though we wish to have no more direct contact with your kind or your violence.”
Thor’s eyes narrowed as he looked carefully around the room. “I am only regretful that I misread the potential of a few individuals as the potential for your entire race. But O’Neill has convinced me to keep you safe at the very least. May you strive to deserve this compassion.”
Jack nearly choked as Thor disappeared once again, surprised by the vehemence of the little alien’s words.
“O’Neill!” called an angry voice from the stunned crowd. Jack turned to see an irate Kinsey standing just behind and to the side of President Hayes. “Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have?”
Silence filled the room and Jack forced himself to answer the hardest of all questions.
“I’m just a man, Kinsey,” Jack said quietly. “A man forced to make difficult choices and doing the best he can to do what’s right.” Jack’s eyes shifted to the man on Kinsey’s left. “Something you may well remember to do yourself, Mr. President.”
It was a bald statement to make to the leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. But Jack could see beyond the way Hayes’ face paled, he was also looking at Kinsey a little more closely.
Jack turned back to the crowd. “I love this planet and I have dedicated my life to protecting it. But now I’m done.” A smile played at his lips. “I guess you could say that I’m retiring. It’s time for all of you to learn how to save yourselves.”
Jack took a moment to look at the assorted faces watching him with varying levels of disbelief. “Please, for everyone’s sake, do it quickly.”
One more deep breath and Jack stepped back off the platform and disappeared, leaving them to their fate.
* * *
They renamed the Alpha-site New Terra and moved to the surface, abandoning grey subterranean spaces for a life lived in the sun. They held elections and built schools and everyone from the youngest child to the oldest man knew what the Stargate was. It was even stated in the community charter that exploration for the betterment of man was the primary goal of the fledgling society.
SG-1 remained closely tied together, even as each sought to forge a new direction. Sam became obsessed with agriculture and maximizing crop production, turning her exceptional mind towards creating life, not extinguishing it. Teal’c ran back and forth between New Terra and Dakara, hoping that the follies of the Tau’ri might help temper the extremes of the Free Jaffa Nation. Daniel threw himself into continued archaeological study, working with artifacts brought back by the SG teams, banking on the chance that he might, one day, find the ultimate answers.
And Jack stood back and watched it all flow around him, every breath tied to his responsibility to these people and the choices he has made.
Every day was dangerous and they never knew what they might bring back with them through the gate, but every person here had chosen this life, had dedicated themselves to what the Stargate should have been about from the beginning: hope.
It wasn’t Earth, but it was peace.
And that was enough.
Epilogue
New Terra
Year 0
The Stargate sprung into life, spraying the gray subterranean walls with dancing light.
Jack stood a few paces away with Teal’c, who was once again wearing the soft brown robes that never quite seemed to fit him. But Jack understood why Teal’c continued to don them. The weight of responsibility for a fledgling society was something that Jack understood far too well these days.
“Don’t be a stranger, T,” Jack said in farewell.
Teal’c didn’t even have the decency to feign confusion. Instead, he turned to Jack with great seriousness, perhaps seeing beyond Jack’s flippant words.
“We know each other quite well, O’Neill, and could never be strangers,” Teal’c observed softly.
There was only one thing Jack could say in answer to that.
“Indeed,” he agreed.
Teal’c allowed the smallest smile to quirk his lips. “I will return in a few days time.”
Jack nodded, pushing his hands into his pockets. “I’ll be here.”
After the barest inclination of his head in acknowledgement, Teal’c stepped through the wormhole and disappeared.
It was a familiar feeling to watch his friend whisked away in a puddle of light. But at least this time, he had no doubts Teal’c would return.
* * *
Daniel was one of the only people to choose to remain in the underground facility, even as most people began to build on the surface. Jack couldn’t be sure how much of that decision, as Daniel claimed, was because the controlled environment and lack of sunlight were better for the artifacts. Jack suspected it also had something to do with the familiarity of the space. Maybe sometimes late at night with his mind distracted by one puzzle or another, Daniel could convince himself that he was still at the SGC. That none of this had ever happened.
Daniel’s refusal to let go didn’t worry Jack. In a strange way, it made him feel better. Because it was Daniel, and Jack still had a feeling he could do anything. In a way, this stubbornness just meant that he wasn’t completely broken and that there was still some Daniel left in there somewhere.
“Quit it,” demanded Daniel, his voice breaking into Jack’s thoughts.
“What?” Jack asked, still absently leaning against the door jamb.
Daniel didn’t even bother to look up from the stone tablet he was carefully inspecting. “I can feel you hovering, Jack.”
Amused, Jack took a few more steps into the room and began flipping through the nearest book, much to Daniel’s annoyance. He snatched the book out of range of Jack’s reach, only taking the extra time to send a glare in Jack’s direction.
“Well, I don’t mean to disturb the inner workings of your laboratory, Dr. Jackson” Jack said with mock offense. “I just thought you might want to hear about this amazing new discovery.”
Daniel actually looked up from his work at Jack’s words, but he still appeared dubious as if he sensed what was coming.
“And what is that?” he asked resignedly.
“There is this place upstairs that has sunlight and fresh air. I believe it is called ‘outdoors.’ You might want to check it out sometime.”
Daniel rolled his eyes, hefted a dramatic sigh and went back to his work.
“Well, I tried,” Jack said with a shrug. “But you’d better at least come up for some dinner or you’ll have bigger problems on your hands than me. The most frightening force in the universe: a pissed-off Carter.”
Daniel snorted, but waved Jack off. “I know, I know. I’ll be there,” he promised.
And Jack knew he would be. Daniel never missed the evening meal. They always gathered at the end of the day. It was their new unspoken ritual and Jack wondered if it was some sort of pledge to stick together. Maybe they just still needed the reassurance.
“Jack!” Daniel exclaimed and Jack realized he was still staring.
Jack threw up his hands and pushed off the door frame. “I’m going, I’m going!” he said with a smile.
* * *
It was almost dusk when Jack finally stumbled upon Sam in probably the last place he expected. She was sitting on a rock a short distance away from a partially finished home on the edge of a small body of water.
Jack was acutely aware that this was the first time he had been completely alone with her in the weeks since Earth. He was annoyed to find that he didn’t quite know what to say to her. So he just settled down on the rock next to her.
She turned and smiled softly at him and Jack felt something inside him ease. “Hi,” she said.
Jack returned the smile. “Hey. Whatcha doing?”
“Thinking.”
“Nice to know some things don’t change,” Jack quipped.
Sam rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored the comment. “I think the crops are going to do well.”
“Yeah. Everything seems to be working out.”
“People seem…happy,” Sam said awkwardly.
Jack caught something in her tone that made him look at her more closely. “You think they shouldn’t be?”
Sam shrugged and looked away from him. She stared at the water for long moments. “This isn’t Minnesota,” she eventually said. “It won’t ever be.”
“No, it’s not,” Jack softly confirmed, wondering where exactly she was going with this. “Does it matter?”
“I don’t know,” Sam said honestly, turning to pin him with her gaze. “Does it?”
Her eyes were curious and slightly uncertain and Jack got the feeling that she was asking about more than just the cabin. He reached out and took her hand in his, his fingers gently tracing the lines on her palm.
“I don’t think there is any shame in being happy,” Jack eventually said. “There’s nothing wrong with living our lives.”
Sam’s hand curled around his fingers in response. “I know,” she said softly, her eyes warm. “I just needed to hear you say it.”
And it was only at that moment he realized she’d been waiting for him to give her some sort of sign that this was really going to happen with them, a sort of permission to stop simply surviving and start living.
“I brought you something,” Sam said before Jack could recover enough to say anything.
For the first time, Jack noticed a package carefully balanced next to her. She pulled her hand from his and offered the box to Jack, a nervous smile playing at her lips. “Consider it your first housewarming gift…Jack.”
Jack looked at her in surprise and carefully lifted the top off the box. Securely nestled inside were two fishing reels. Jack stared at them for long moments, not sure what to say.
“The rest of the gear is up at the cabin,” Sam said, filling the awkward silence. “I just thought….”
Jack snapped the lid shut, cutting her off. Sam had to have thought of this before they left Earth. Jack himself hadn’t really taken the time to think of personal objects in those last days. He couldn’t quite believe she’d done it and he had no idea how to express exactly how much her thoughtfulness meant to him.
“Jack?” Sam asked uncertainly, when he still hadn’t said anything.
Jacked reached for her hand again, squeezing her fingers tight. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely with as much raw sincerity as he could muster.
“Sure,” Sam said softly.
Jack finally looked up to see Sam sitting in the fading light with his new home on the shores of a pond behind her. She was right. This wasn’t Minnesota. But maybe it could be…something.
Jack almost reverently put the package down and then pulled Sam closer, leaning in to kiss her for the first time in weeks. Her mouth was as sweet and warm as he remembered and she unhesitatingly leaned into him, her hand threading into his hair. When he finally pulled back he smiled softly at Sam, carefully studying her face.
He wondered if one day she would be able to pick up a piece of technology without dark shadows clouding her eyes. Or if he could forgive himself for abandoning his people. If he could, somehow, be the one to make her happy.
Jack didn’t know. But he could always hope.
Jack brought Sam’s palm up to his lips. He felt the pulse of her heartbeat through the softness of her skin and when she met his gaze, he saw the beginnings of acceptance shining in her eyes.
None of them had forgotten and maybe they never would, but as Jack sat gently memorizing Sam’s skin inch by inch in the alien forest, he was glad that they were at least given the chance to try.
And maybe one day they would both come to see that this wasn’t an ending at all, but simply another beginning.
-The End-
Title: Exodus
Author: Annerb
Rating: Teens
Summary: Saying goodbye.This wasn’t how they thought it would end.
Classifications: Drama, Angst, Team, S/J, Future, AU
Season: 8 (takes off after Threads)
Part One
Part 4: Solidarity
SG-1 came together with the same quiet deliberateness that had torn them apart. Quick trips across the galaxy, a few bright flashes of white light, and then they were standing together in the metal hollows of Thor’s ship.
Jack had once thought that being a part of SG-1 would be like a million other things he had been a part of; just a period in his life with a beginning and an end. Something temporal, with a before and after. Just like he’d been a husband and then he wasn’t. A prisoner in Iraq. A father. There was always an after.
Each of them had understood this in their own way. They told themselves that SG-1 was only one aspect of their lives. They had walked away, believing they could move on, become other people. And they had, in a way, but not for the better.
As Jack stood with his ex-teammates on the bridge of Thor’s ship, he finally realized the truth. None of them had spared a glance for the spectacular view of Earth from orbit; they only had eyes for each other. Reunited for the first time in two years, Jack was forced to realize that for SG-1, there would never be an ‘after.’
And he was oddly comforted by that knowledge.
Jack let his eyes travel over the people that now stood in a rough circle, watching each other almost warily. Daniel had gained back some weight in his months off world, but his eyes were still heavy with fatigue, with seeing things he should never have witnessed. Jack should have known exiling Daniel from Earth could never have removed his capacity for empathy.
Sam was the first to move, to break the stalemate that seemed to have risen up between them. Four quick steps and she was in Daniel’s arms, ending two years of separation. Each held the other a little too long, a little too hard, revealing their ragged edges to the other without the need for words. And then Sam was softly whispering and Daniel was nodding quietly against her in understanding.
Jack watched the display from a few feet away and only felt a renewed drive to make these people safe.
Somewhere in all of this Teal’c had shifted to stand by Jack’s side. There was no need for words or hugs between them. Jack could read everything he needed to in the Jaffa’s jagged profile, the way his robes didn’t quite sit right on his shoulders. Things with the Jaffa were not as Teal’c had foreseen. Jack could tell he was just as adrift as the rest of them had been.
But in that moment, watching Daniel and Sam reunite and feeling the quiet presence of Teal’c at his side, Jack no longer felt so lost. He was surprised at how the mere company of these people was enough to settle everything, to make everything seem more manageable. To make the path seem clear.
It was a glimpse of how they had once been, and suddenly Jack understood exactly why they were the ones to save Earth over and over again. When SG-1 was together they were unstoppable, invincible.
And he couldn’t help but think that maybe none of this would have happened if they had just stuck together from the beginning.
Daniel and Sam eventually pulled apart and then she was at Teal’c’s side, her hands touching him softly to reassure herself of the reality of his existence. Jack clapped one hand on Daniel’s shoulder, only in that moment realizing just how much he had missed the younger man.
Daniel glanced up at Jack, still looking more than a little lost, and said softly, “Please tell me we are finally going to do something.”
Jack took a deep breath and looked over at Sam, who was staring steadily back at him.
“I want to steal the Stargate.”
There was a flash of something in Sam’s eyes, quickly hidden.
Jack wasn’t sure what they had expected from him, some magic fix perhaps, but he could tell that his words were not the ones they wanted to hear.
“You want to steal the Stargate,” Daniel repeated slowly, as if trying out the words.
Jack nodded silently.
Daniel stared at him for long moments, looking like he was waiting for Jack to take the words back. When no retraction came, he blew out a frustrated breath. “You can’t really think that will fix anything,” Daniel said, soft hope and bewildered confusion firing into disbelief.
Teal’c tilted his head to the side in a way that told Jack he was seriously mulling over the plan, if you could call it that. “The fighting began because of the Stargate,” he observed. “Removing the object of contention may diffuse the situation.”
“It’s not that simple, Teal’c,” Daniel said.
Sam stepped forward, her brow furrowed. “But once the U.S. no longer had access to superior technology, they may appear as less of a threat to the rest of the world,” she said slowly as if working out all the angles, “At least maybe enough to get them talking again.”
Teal’c nodded in agreement.
Daniel made a rough sound of disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Am I the only one who remembers just how many people have died? We can’t just steal the gate in the middle of the night and slink off like cowards.”
“Daniel,” Sam hissed, her face stricken.
But Jack didn’t need to be defended. There was far too much truth in Daniel’s words for that. “Give us a different plan then,” Jack said instead, knowing that Daniel would have to work this out himself.
Daniel’s mouth snapped shut at Jack’s request and he began pacing absently. “We go back down and make them listen.”
The room was silent once again for a long time, each of them doing their best to avoid Daniel’s penetrating gaze.
“There’s no going back, Daniel,” Jack finally said quietly. “I thought you would have figured that out by now.”
Daniel roughly turned away from them and stared out the window, his anger and indignation apparent in every sharp angle of his body. He just wasn’t willing to accept the facts of their new lives.
Jack gritted his teeth and accepted the inevitability of this conversation. “If you go back, you know what will happen. How long do you really think it will take for them to lock you up? And I’m sure they’d have a nice cell next door for Carter. Is that what you want?”
Daniel looked surprised, turning to Sam. She shrugged nonchalantly, not quite meeting his gaze. “I’ve been gone too long already.”
Understanding dawned on Daniel’s face and he rounded on Jack. “And whose fault is that?” he asked harshly.
Jack wasn’t completely unprepared for Daniel’s anger, knowing that Daniel had been exiled from everything he’d known for more than six months, cut off from doing anything, from any chance at making a difference. Jack, the one who facilitated his departure, made an easy target. “You’re not really mad at me, Daniel, you’re mad at the situation. So knock it off before you say something you’ll really regret.”
But Daniel’s face had taken on that mulish look that was far too familiar.
“O’Neill is correct, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c finally said, breaking the stalemate. “Your anger is misplaced.”
Daniel released a heavy breath and ran one hand over his haggard face. “There just has to be another way,” he maintained.
Jack’s anger finally spiked in that moment, the way Daniel made it sound like Jack hadn’t thought about this. Didn’t he realize that questioning and thinking this through were the only things he did anymore?
“You want plans, Daniel? I’ll give you plans. How about we stage a coup and conquer the world? We know better than the rest of them, so it would really be for their own good, right? But how many more people would die then, do you think?
“Or should we go back in time and try to keep the program from going public? From ever existing in the first place? Because we have been heading towards this point for centuries, Daniel, no matter how much we meddle. How far back would be enough? How much would we have to change?
“Or maybe it would be better if I just continue to wile my time away in the SGC and ignore all the death or the fact that the Asgard High Council is threatening to renege on our status as a Protected Planet because the fabled ‘Fifth Race’ has shown a penchant for violence? One that they are reluctant to see spread to the impressionable, newly free cultures in the Galaxy? And once they have abandoned us, maybe I could stand by and watch as Earth is destroyed by the last wily Goa’uld that’s too damn ornery to die? Or maybe just wait for the next new threat?”
It was now Daniel’s turn to look ashen. To be honest, Jack had revealed more of his burden these last months than he intended, but maybe Daniel just needed to understand how impossible this situation was.
“I…I didn’t know…,” Daniel stuttered shakily, obviously flabbergasted by the Asgard’s threatened withdrawal. Even as experienced as he was with intergalactic diplomacy, he just couldn’t accept that the Tau’ri wouldn’t be considered worth protecting.
Jack felt his anger melt into simple tiredness. “No, Daniel, you didn’t know. Things have only gotten worse since you left and you couldn’t have known, because you haven’t been sitting behind a desk for two years watching everything that ever mattered to you fall to pieces, knowing that there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. It feels like I’ve had a lifetime to think about this. And really wish I could have come up with some miraculous fix, but this is all I have.”
Teal’c took a small step forward at this point, coming to stand between the two men. “Have the Asgard agreed to this course of action?”
Jack nodded, not taking his eyes off of Daniel. “If the Stargate goes, they promise to keep Earth in the Treaty, and even that much cost me every favor they ever owed us.”
“It seems we have little choice,” Teal’c observed. “And as much as I, too, wanted to put my faith in the Tau’ri, it is perhaps best that this fighting not be allowed to spill over onto the innocents of other planets.”
Jack felt burning shame that his people, who had once been the hope of the Galaxy, were now a bad seed to be feared. He briefly wondered if Teal’c had come to regret giving up his whole life on Chulak and putting his faith in a rundown soldier of Earth. “I’m sorry we couldn’t be what you hoped, Teal’c.”
Teal’c smiled softly, barely more than a miniscule stretching of his lips. “We have already achieved more than I had ever dreamed, O’Neill. So perhaps it is best to see this present unpleasantness as a valuable reminder that we are all capable of mistakes, mythical race or not.”
Jack nodded, but still wished they could have learned that lesson another way.
Daniel visibly took a deep breath as if trying to control his emotions long enough to make one last point. “I hear what you’re both saying, I really do. But I don’t think you truly comprehend what taking the Stargate means for Earth. You’re taking away their last chance to make themselves better. It’s…it’s admitting that we never really had any potential to begin with. You can’t take that away from them.”
“They don’t deserve it.”
The stilted words were the first Sam had spoken since the argument had begun. All three men turned with surprise to look at her where she stood with her back to them, staring down at Earth.
Sam’s voice was achingly thin and she hugged herself tightly as if trying to hold herself together. “Everything we’ve done, everything we sacrificed…it was all because we thought we were making Earth safer, better. But they twisted it all around. They made it…something dirty. And I don’t think they’ll stop until there is nothing left of any of us. Until it all means nothing.”
Watching her, wanting to do nothing more than wrap his arms around her and help her hold it together, Jack knew with unbreakable certainty that this was the greatest rationale of all. He would not allow this planet to break these people, to break her.
Daniel’s soft words finally broke the shocked silence following Sam’s proclamation. “So we just take that chance away from them?” he asked, not without gentleness. “Who are we to decide that? Who are we to play god?”
It was a valid question, one that had been rattling around in Jack’s head ever since he had made this decision.
“What kind of people would we be if we didn’t?” Jack countered. It was the only kind of answer he had ever been able to come up with.
Daniel stared back at Jack, processing his words, still looking for any other way. Jack didn’t push him; instead he looked over at Sam who was staring out at the tiny blue sphere that seemed so incongruously peaceful from orbit. She must have felt his eyes on her because she turned back to him, her eyes steadily holding his gaze and revealing none of her misgivings.
“What do you need me to do?” she asked.
They all recognized the question for what it was: her vote of support for the plan.
Daniel moved across the room to her side, taking a moment to stare out the window. “I’m scared it won’t be enough.”
“It has to be,” Sam answered lowly.
Daniel sighed, not bothering to deny her words. “I never imagined it ending this way.”
None of them had, Jack knew. But he guessed that everyone always eventually learned the truth: fairy tales weren’t real. And neither were heroes.
Teal’c remained by Jack’s side in a quiet show of support and Daniel eventually nodded his acceptance.
And so SG-1 was reunited, to complete one last mission for Earth.
Part 5: Vulnerable
After long hours of discussing tactics and the exact chronology of their plan, Thor beamed Jack down to get a few last minute things worked out and one final night’s sleep on Earth.
Some primal impulse led Jack to sit out on his back lawn, somehow needing a last moment of contact with the planet for which he had given everything.
A bright flash poured out of his living room windows and a few moments later he could hear soft footsteps crossing the deck.
Sam settled down on the grass next to him, her legs crossed in front of her. For a while she absently picked at the grass, twirling it deftly between her fingers, and Jack briefly wondered if she had been one of those kids to sit in the backfield making daisy chains while everyone else played soccer. Somehow he couldn’t quite picture her as the type.
“I’m glad you’re not doing this alone,” Sam finally said, breaking into his thoughts. “It’s a burden you weren’t meant to bear by yourself.”
“Neither is yours,” Jack said softly, already suspecting the real reason for her visit tonight.
He saw her flinch in the moonlight, her eyes becoming suspiciously bright.
Jack turned away from Sam’s profile, instead lifting his eyes to the familiar bright constellations in the night sky. Would he ever get a chance to see them again? He gave himself a moment to say goodbye to the familiar shapes.
A soft rustling next to Jack told him that Sam had recovered her composure enough to continue. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her lift her face to the sky and he wondered if she was making similar farewells.
“I made that bomb,” she eventually confessed, almost as if trying out the words for the first time.
Jack nodded silently, taking her words as confirmation for what he had already suspected. He knew they were words she had long held inside, tucked away in her lab somewhere, cut off from her friends, every day wondering what she was doing even as she worked tirelessly to perfect it. She was Carter; she wasn’t capable of anything less.
“I think I convinced myself they wouldn’t use it,” she said and Jack could clearly read self-deprecation in her tone.
“You didn’t have a choice either way, Carter,” Jack reminded her. “And you know that. Choice was the first casualty of this war.”
“They couldn’t have done it without me. Nothing changes that fact,” she said.
“Sam,” Jack rasped, reaching out one hand to touch the sleeve of her jacket in an inadequate gesture, not knowing what else to do.
“I killed those people, Jack. I killed them.”
Her arm was rigid beneath his touch and part of him wished she could just let go, even for a moment, and let herself cry, let herself rage. Her harsh acceptance of what had happened, her drive to blame herself, fired the anger that had been roiling in Jack’s stomach for endless months. He couldn’t help but feel that by letting this happen to her, he had failed her somehow.
“I should have gotten you out sooner,” he said with self-reproach, driving an angry hand through his hair. “I should have found a way to keep you at the SGC.”
Sam automatically shook her head, denying his claim to the blame. “It’s not your job to protect me,” she said in a painfully cool, even voice. “Not anymore.”
Jack wasn’t sure exactly what she meant by that statement. All he could register was the stabbing pain in his chest.
Not anymore.
She could just mean that he wasn’t her CO anymore. She was no longer a subordinate that he was honor bound to look out for. But deep in his gut he feared that she might mean he no longer had a place in her life. She didn’t need or want his protection. Or him.
Jack had no idea what to say, how to respond to the cold words or the burning in his lungs, so he just said the first thing that popped into his mind. Because no matter what she thought, there was only one truth Jack knew.
“I want it to be my job.”
Jack heard the soft intake of breath that Sam couldn’t quite hide. There was a time, not so long ago, that Jack would never have said those words, no matter how true or vague they were. But those days were long behind them. There really were no more rules to be broken. And Jack had no more energy for games.
For the merest moment, Jack thought she was going to turn to him and smile, but instead, she pushed to her feet and walked a few steps away from him, her back ramrod straight.
“I don’t deserve to be saved. I don’t deserve…,” she trailed off, vaguely making an awkward sweeping gesture between them.
It was such an absurdly abstract statement that Jack couldn’t resist automatically quipping, “You know how I feel about Charades, Carter.”
Despite herself, Sam let out a soft huff of amusement under her breath even as she shook her head at him in exasperation. He knew they both had to be thinking of the disastrous time Teal’c had demanded a demonstration of the Tau’ri game. They had been lucky no one had lost an eye, really.
Jack watched Sam a moment longer as he tried to think of the right words to say to her, the levity of the moment quickly draining away. “Look, Carter, I don’t claim to know much of anything anymore. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I don’t know if I could have stopped this war before it started somehow.” He stood up carefully and moved to stand by Sam’s side, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I don’t know if we waited too long or if, given the chance, I ever could have made you happy.”
Sam turned slightly away from him, staring blindly at the lawn stretching out beneath them. Jack could see her swallow hard against something that he could only imagine were tears.
Carters don’t cry. He could almost hear her thinking it.
She dug the toe of her shoe into the grass in a motion of frustration, and the fresh scent of earth and loam filled Jack’s senses, reminding him of just another aspect of the lives they were going to leave behind.
Jack waited for Sam to decide what sort of moment this would be. Was it time to walk away before things got too complicated? Or were things finally different enough? He honestly had no idea what her reaction might be.
Her silence stretched unbearably long and Jack reached out and grabbed her arm. “Just tell me something, Carter. Why did you really come down here tonight?”
Sam glanced at his hand wrapped around her upper arm, studiously avoiding his gaze. “I…,” she stuttered aimlessly, obviously unable or unwilling to explain her actions.
Jack would laugh at them both for their hesitation, even in the face of the end of the world, if he wasn’t so goddamned tired. Instead, he dropped her arm with a heavy sigh and turned away. It was only then that she whispered so softly that he almost missed it, “Why do you think I came?”
Jack might have thought she was mocking him if she hadn’t sounded so incredibly small. He knew what she was really asking him, though, and there was only one answer for her.
He gently reached over and raised her face to his, knowing that words had never been enough for what was between them. So he just steadily met her gaze, and for once hid nothing from her. He let her see a man who would still die for her. A man who had unshakable faith in her. A man who really saw Samantha Carter, good and bad, and still held her in his heart. Always.
Forced to meet this unexpected revelation, Sam let out a soft sound and finally lost her battle with her emotions, a single tear finding release down her cheek. Jack didn’t move to wipe it away; instead he dropped his hand to her arm and carefully pulled her closer. He wrapped his arms loosely around her, giving Sam ample opportunity to pull away, but instead she seemed to melt into him, more tears falling damply against his neck.
He let her cry for a long time, strangely appeased by her emotional release. He held her silently until long after her breathing began to even out again. Eventually he could feel Sam intently wiping at her face, probably trying to erase any signs of what she saw as a weakness. Jack stilled her hands against his chest and pulled back to see her face.
“This isn’t about what we deserve, Sam, or how we’ve changed. This is about not letting go of whatever we have left,” Jack whispered softly.
Sam studied his face for long moments before hesitantly reaching up and running her hand through his hair, playing with the mussed spikes. Jack must have looked surprised, because she gave him the faintest half smile and said, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Jack’s heart was beating too loudly against his chest as he continued to stare at her, not wanting to misread her intentions, part of him unwilling to believe. “Sam,” he said softly and it was a question, because he always felt the masochistic need to give her one last chance to walk away, no matter how much it would kill him.
The smile dropped from her face, replaced by a sort of emotional intensity he had rarely seen, at least not directed at him. It made him feel like she could read his every thought.
“Some things never change,” Sam said and then in one easy motion she lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.
Some things never change.
Ten years had passed since the first day he met her. Six years since he consciously realized in one jolting moment that he never wanted to live without her and that maybe, somehow, she felt the same. More than two years since he had prepared himself to watch her marry another man, knowing he could survive anything if it just meant she would be happy. Four months since he heard her brokenly holding back tears on the other end of a phone line because of what her government had forced her to become.
And now, standing on his back lawn in the moonlight on their last night on Earth, she was kissing him. So, yes, many things had happened to change them over the years, but one thing was always there. He never wanted to live without her.
And maybe by the way her fingers tangled in his hair and her lips moved softly over his, she was trying to tell him that she felt the same way.
Jack pulled back slightly, wanting to see her face. She was a little startled by his seeming withdrawal, but beneath that he could see the same longing he felt in his heart. The look he had first seen six years before behind the hazy glow of a force field.
He gave her a crooked grin to reassure her. And since they were apparently doing things they had always wanted to do, he leaned down and took his time exploring that one part of her neck that had nearly driven him to distraction in far too many briefings. Sam made a soft, incoherent sound in response, her fingers digging into his back. Then Jack said something he had always had to hold back before, but no longer.
“You’re beautiful, Sam,” he breathed against her skin.
He wasn’t sure she believed him yet, but he had hope that one day she would. Words, after all, had never been what they were about. So instead, he pulled her even closer against his body, feeling her hands slip underneath his shirt, and abandoned himself to the moment.
Exploring Sam’s body conjured the confused feeling of the very familiar and the achingly foreign. There were so many facets of this woman that had long lain hidden from him. But even still, her skin was like a touchstone, every scar, every part of her body reviving some moment from their past. A reminder of their sacrifices, their pain and their triumphs. Of the too many times each had thought the other was finally lost, along with any chance for a moment like this one, where all barriers could finally fall away.
It reminded them both that no matter how horrible things had become, this moment was still something to be thankful for.
Whether they deserved it or not.
In the pale light of false dawn, they made love in the grass with the last of the stars wide above them, a final, sacred farewell to the earth that had born them. His name tumbled from her lips as a gasp of marvel and for the first time in as long as he could remember, Jack felt complete.
Part 6: Retreat
Eight o’clock on the dot the next morning, Jack walked into the SGC.
He wandered the early morning halls and reflected on his first trip down here and how much it had changed from its days as an old rundown missile silo. It had become a living thing somewhere along the road and Jack felt a slight twinge of loss at leaving this place behind. This place and the people it sheltered had changed his life.
When he eventually made it to the control room, the thumping heart of the SGC, Siler and Walter were both waiting for him, as they did every morning. But today, Jack didn’t reach for the mug of coffee Walter offered him, or ask Siler for an update on the system.
Instead, he simply said, “It’s time,” and watched how the men’s faces paled slightly, but remained resolute.
“Yes, sir,” they echoed simultaneously.
Within ten minutes the Mountain had been completely cut off from the outside world and the staff, save the two government moles now being treated to their own cells, was assembled in the gateroom, moving carefully horded supplies through the gate to the Alpha Site.
Each would be given a chance to decide whether they wanted to step through the gate one last time.
Jack retreated to his office and perched down in the leather office chair that had once supported George Hammond. He ran his hands over the smooth wood surface of the desk and said aloud to the empty room, “I wish you were still here, sir.”
But the hollow room had no advice to offer.
Pulling open the bottom drawer, Jack fished out a small well-read letter that Hammond had left for him the first day of his new Command. Jack tucked it carefully in his pocket, took one last look at the office and walked into the briefing room beyond. He suppressed the urge to walk the halls one last time, to follow the well-worn path between Daniel and Carter’s labs, the commissary and Teal’c’s quarters. They were all empty now, had been for years. Not even a hint of their previous inhabitants remained.
Jack walked down the tightly twisting stairs in to the Control Room, where Walter calmly sat monitoring gate activity below.
Jack touched Walter’s shoulder and said, “Twenty minutes, Sergeant.”
Walter nodded his understanding. “See you on the other side, sir.”
Jack took one more look at the Stargate and requested transport up to Thor’s ship.
* * *
Jack had never been one for speeches. He’d never really understood the need for words, when his actions could speak for themselves. But this war had taught him the awesome power of words. Suddenly power was in the hands of he who spoke loudest and longest.
Keep the people afraid. Keep them convinced that this way was the only way. Silence any other voices, by any means possible.
Words had become the currency of power on Earth.
Jack just hoped they could also be the vehicle for change. And today, they would have no choice but to listen.
Jack shifted uncertainly next to a small platform, still not convinced that this wasn’t a job that better suited Daniel.
Almost as if summoned by his thoughts, Daniel appeared behind him. “We just received a message from Sam. She and Teal’c are safely away with the Prometheus.”
Jack nodded silently, feeling a small beat of relief that half of his team was clear of this planet.
“O’Neill,” Thor said from his position at a control panel some feet away. “Your world leaders are growing restless and their shock at finding themselves relocated seems to be wearing off.”
Jack grimaced at the thought of their reaction to abrupt transported into an auditorium with their worst enemies.
“Show time, Jack,” Daniel said.
“I was thinking,” Jack said as his throat went dry, “that maybe you would be a better choice. You know how I am with speeches.”
Daniel shook his head with small smile playing at his lips. But when he finally looked up and met Jack’s slightly panicked eyes, his face was completely serious. “Today is a day for great men,” he said with a small push in Jack’s back.
Jack stumbled slightly and turned back to stare at Daniel, his chest constricting painfully. If weren’t for the painfully intense look on Daniel’s face, Jack would have assumed he was mocking him.
“I never claimed-,” Jack started to protest.
“I know,” Daniel interrupted. “The great ones never do.”
Jack reached out a hand to Daniel’s arm. “Daniel…,” he mumbled inarticulately. He knew what Daniel was doing, what he was trying to say. Daniel was telling Jack that he forgave him this. That in his own way, he understood.
Jack opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.
But Daniel just smiled slightly and pushed Jack onto the platform.
“Good luck.”
* * *
The lecture hall sat well over five hundred people, and every seat was occupied. Not that any of the people were calmly sitting. They were clustered in groups, some suspiciously staring at others, some yelling and pushing, and a few simply looking lost.
Jack shimmered into place on a small raised platform at the center of the room. He didn’t shout to be heard over the din, but rather simply waited as a small wave of awareness rippled through the room. It wasn’t long until complete silence reigned.
Jack cleared his throat and waved one hand awkwardly at the crowd in greeting. “Hi. Sorry for the inconvenience this little field trip may have caused you, but I needed to inform you all of some world events. Oh, and this is being broadcast on every major TV station, so the world is quite literally watching.”
The crowd shifted uncomfortably for a moment, everyone craning their necks to see each other’s reactions to this astounding proclamation.
“For those of you who don’t know me,” Jack continued, “I’m Jack O’Neill, commander of the United States’ Stargate Program.”
Gasps and whispers rose again and Jack waited calmly for it to pass. He had no notes for this speech, there was no precedence to follow, and so Jack just circumspectly shook out his tingling fingers and cut to the chase.
“I’ve had the honor to travel around this little galaxy of ours for the last eight years. One of my friends from out there once called the people of Earth very young. At the time, I thought they were underestimating us and in my arrogance I disregarded their warnings. But now, seeing what we’ve done to ourselves, I realize that she was right. Earth is very young. Too young to be playing with such grown up toys. Too young to deserve to have the secrets of the Universe at its fingertips. Those wonders are only used to make better and more effective weapons and it’s a waste.
“I’ve sat by for a long time and done nothing, but no longer. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m leaving this planet. And I’m taking the Stargate with me. And the alien technology. Even the Prometheus.”
The crowd broke out into frenzied protest, but Jack managed to quiet them by lifting one hand, his hologram flickering eerily.
“To be clear, I do this so there will be no more reason to fight. No more reason for blood. Something tells me you’ll keep fighting anyway, but at least now you no longer have that excuse. It’s time to wake up and figure out was this is really all about. It’s time to fix it.
“I’m taking my people with me to start over somewhere else. We’re going to keep exploring, meeting new friends and maybe even figuring out a little of that meaning of life stuff, but we’re going to do it in the name of wonder and humanity, not war.
“When you’re finally ready to join us, we’ll be waiting.”
“You’ll be leaving us defenseless!” a voice cried out from the crowd.
As if on cue, Thor shimmered into view next to Jack. He calmly looked around the room, blinking slowly and ignoring all the gasps. “The Asgard have pledged to protect Earth from off-world aggressors,” he said slowly as if speaking to children. “We will watch over you, though we wish to have no more direct contact with your kind or your violence.”
Thor’s eyes narrowed as he looked carefully around the room. “I am only regretful that I misread the potential of a few individuals as the potential for your entire race. But O’Neill has convinced me to keep you safe at the very least. May you strive to deserve this compassion.”
Jack nearly choked as Thor disappeared once again, surprised by the vehemence of the little alien’s words.
“O’Neill!” called an angry voice from the stunned crowd. Jack turned to see an irate Kinsey standing just behind and to the side of President Hayes. “Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have?”
Silence filled the room and Jack forced himself to answer the hardest of all questions.
“I’m just a man, Kinsey,” Jack said quietly. “A man forced to make difficult choices and doing the best he can to do what’s right.” Jack’s eyes shifted to the man on Kinsey’s left. “Something you may well remember to do yourself, Mr. President.”
It was a bald statement to make to the leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world. But Jack could see beyond the way Hayes’ face paled, he was also looking at Kinsey a little more closely.
Jack turned back to the crowd. “I love this planet and I have dedicated my life to protecting it. But now I’m done.” A smile played at his lips. “I guess you could say that I’m retiring. It’s time for all of you to learn how to save yourselves.”
Jack took a moment to look at the assorted faces watching him with varying levels of disbelief. “Please, for everyone’s sake, do it quickly.”
One more deep breath and Jack stepped back off the platform and disappeared, leaving them to their fate.
* * *
They renamed the Alpha-site New Terra and moved to the surface, abandoning grey subterranean spaces for a life lived in the sun. They held elections and built schools and everyone from the youngest child to the oldest man knew what the Stargate was. It was even stated in the community charter that exploration for the betterment of man was the primary goal of the fledgling society.
SG-1 remained closely tied together, even as each sought to forge a new direction. Sam became obsessed with agriculture and maximizing crop production, turning her exceptional mind towards creating life, not extinguishing it. Teal’c ran back and forth between New Terra and Dakara, hoping that the follies of the Tau’ri might help temper the extremes of the Free Jaffa Nation. Daniel threw himself into continued archaeological study, working with artifacts brought back by the SG teams, banking on the chance that he might, one day, find the ultimate answers.
And Jack stood back and watched it all flow around him, every breath tied to his responsibility to these people and the choices he has made.
Every day was dangerous and they never knew what they might bring back with them through the gate, but every person here had chosen this life, had dedicated themselves to what the Stargate should have been about from the beginning: hope.
It wasn’t Earth, but it was peace.
And that was enough.
Epilogue
New Terra
Year 0
The Stargate sprung into life, spraying the gray subterranean walls with dancing light.
Jack stood a few paces away with Teal’c, who was once again wearing the soft brown robes that never quite seemed to fit him. But Jack understood why Teal’c continued to don them. The weight of responsibility for a fledgling society was something that Jack understood far too well these days.
“Don’t be a stranger, T,” Jack said in farewell.
Teal’c didn’t even have the decency to feign confusion. Instead, he turned to Jack with great seriousness, perhaps seeing beyond Jack’s flippant words.
“We know each other quite well, O’Neill, and could never be strangers,” Teal’c observed softly.
There was only one thing Jack could say in answer to that.
“Indeed,” he agreed.
Teal’c allowed the smallest smile to quirk his lips. “I will return in a few days time.”
Jack nodded, pushing his hands into his pockets. “I’ll be here.”
After the barest inclination of his head in acknowledgement, Teal’c stepped through the wormhole and disappeared.
It was a familiar feeling to watch his friend whisked away in a puddle of light. But at least this time, he had no doubts Teal’c would return.
* * *
Daniel was one of the only people to choose to remain in the underground facility, even as most people began to build on the surface. Jack couldn’t be sure how much of that decision, as Daniel claimed, was because the controlled environment and lack of sunlight were better for the artifacts. Jack suspected it also had something to do with the familiarity of the space. Maybe sometimes late at night with his mind distracted by one puzzle or another, Daniel could convince himself that he was still at the SGC. That none of this had ever happened.
Daniel’s refusal to let go didn’t worry Jack. In a strange way, it made him feel better. Because it was Daniel, and Jack still had a feeling he could do anything. In a way, this stubbornness just meant that he wasn’t completely broken and that there was still some Daniel left in there somewhere.
“Quit it,” demanded Daniel, his voice breaking into Jack’s thoughts.
“What?” Jack asked, still absently leaning against the door jamb.
Daniel didn’t even bother to look up from the stone tablet he was carefully inspecting. “I can feel you hovering, Jack.”
Amused, Jack took a few more steps into the room and began flipping through the nearest book, much to Daniel’s annoyance. He snatched the book out of range of Jack’s reach, only taking the extra time to send a glare in Jack’s direction.
“Well, I don’t mean to disturb the inner workings of your laboratory, Dr. Jackson” Jack said with mock offense. “I just thought you might want to hear about this amazing new discovery.”
Daniel actually looked up from his work at Jack’s words, but he still appeared dubious as if he sensed what was coming.
“And what is that?” he asked resignedly.
“There is this place upstairs that has sunlight and fresh air. I believe it is called ‘outdoors.’ You might want to check it out sometime.”
Daniel rolled his eyes, hefted a dramatic sigh and went back to his work.
“Well, I tried,” Jack said with a shrug. “But you’d better at least come up for some dinner or you’ll have bigger problems on your hands than me. The most frightening force in the universe: a pissed-off Carter.”
Daniel snorted, but waved Jack off. “I know, I know. I’ll be there,” he promised.
And Jack knew he would be. Daniel never missed the evening meal. They always gathered at the end of the day. It was their new unspoken ritual and Jack wondered if it was some sort of pledge to stick together. Maybe they just still needed the reassurance.
“Jack!” Daniel exclaimed and Jack realized he was still staring.
Jack threw up his hands and pushed off the door frame. “I’m going, I’m going!” he said with a smile.
* * *
It was almost dusk when Jack finally stumbled upon Sam in probably the last place he expected. She was sitting on a rock a short distance away from a partially finished home on the edge of a small body of water.
Jack was acutely aware that this was the first time he had been completely alone with her in the weeks since Earth. He was annoyed to find that he didn’t quite know what to say to her. So he just settled down on the rock next to her.
She turned and smiled softly at him and Jack felt something inside him ease. “Hi,” she said.
Jack returned the smile. “Hey. Whatcha doing?”
“Thinking.”
“Nice to know some things don’t change,” Jack quipped.
Sam rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored the comment. “I think the crops are going to do well.”
“Yeah. Everything seems to be working out.”
“People seem…happy,” Sam said awkwardly.
Jack caught something in her tone that made him look at her more closely. “You think they shouldn’t be?”
Sam shrugged and looked away from him. She stared at the water for long moments. “This isn’t Minnesota,” she eventually said. “It won’t ever be.”
“No, it’s not,” Jack softly confirmed, wondering where exactly she was going with this. “Does it matter?”
“I don’t know,” Sam said honestly, turning to pin him with her gaze. “Does it?”
Her eyes were curious and slightly uncertain and Jack got the feeling that she was asking about more than just the cabin. He reached out and took her hand in his, his fingers gently tracing the lines on her palm.
“I don’t think there is any shame in being happy,” Jack eventually said. “There’s nothing wrong with living our lives.”
Sam’s hand curled around his fingers in response. “I know,” she said softly, her eyes warm. “I just needed to hear you say it.”
And it was only at that moment he realized she’d been waiting for him to give her some sort of sign that this was really going to happen with them, a sort of permission to stop simply surviving and start living.
“I brought you something,” Sam said before Jack could recover enough to say anything.
For the first time, Jack noticed a package carefully balanced next to her. She pulled her hand from his and offered the box to Jack, a nervous smile playing at her lips. “Consider it your first housewarming gift…Jack.”
Jack looked at her in surprise and carefully lifted the top off the box. Securely nestled inside were two fishing reels. Jack stared at them for long moments, not sure what to say.
“The rest of the gear is up at the cabin,” Sam said, filling the awkward silence. “I just thought….”
Jack snapped the lid shut, cutting her off. Sam had to have thought of this before they left Earth. Jack himself hadn’t really taken the time to think of personal objects in those last days. He couldn’t quite believe she’d done it and he had no idea how to express exactly how much her thoughtfulness meant to him.
“Jack?” Sam asked uncertainly, when he still hadn’t said anything.
Jacked reached for her hand again, squeezing her fingers tight. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely with as much raw sincerity as he could muster.
“Sure,” Sam said softly.
Jack finally looked up to see Sam sitting in the fading light with his new home on the shores of a pond behind her. She was right. This wasn’t Minnesota. But maybe it could be…something.
Jack almost reverently put the package down and then pulled Sam closer, leaning in to kiss her for the first time in weeks. Her mouth was as sweet and warm as he remembered and she unhesitatingly leaned into him, her hand threading into his hair. When he finally pulled back he smiled softly at Sam, carefully studying her face.
He wondered if one day she would be able to pick up a piece of technology without dark shadows clouding her eyes. Or if he could forgive himself for abandoning his people. If he could, somehow, be the one to make her happy.
Jack didn’t know. But he could always hope.
Jack brought Sam’s palm up to his lips. He felt the pulse of her heartbeat through the softness of her skin and when she met his gaze, he saw the beginnings of acceptance shining in her eyes.
None of them had forgotten and maybe they never would, but as Jack sat gently memorizing Sam’s skin inch by inch in the alien forest, he was glad that they were at least given the chance to try.
And maybe one day they would both come to see that this wasn’t an ending at all, but simply another beginning.
-The End-