(no subject)
Why not me?
Characters: KyuMin, Me, others.
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: I hope my bestfriend will notice how I feel. Even though he's "twisted".
Disclaimer: Don't own suju, don't own the songs...
Angela's POV
Jan 1, 2010, Saturday - New year and Sungmin's birthday.
"Happy birthday Minnie!!!" I greeted him and I hand over my gift on a hot pink wrapper and a pink ribbon. Sungmin loves pink.
Sungmin Yawned. "Good morning. Happy new year by the way" He answered his door wearing his pink pajamas
.
"Sorry I disturbed you early in the morning" I said
"You always disturb me *yawns* I'm used to it"
"Your gift! You don't want it?" I pretended to be sad and gave him a cute frown
"Of course not Angela" he laughed "I'm still half-awake"
"Sorry" I smiled.
"What's this?" He shook my medium sized gift, in a curious look.
"See for yourself"
"Let's go inside first, It's pretty cold out here"
I went inside his house. It is just a normal house with 2 stories. You know like in an American movies, sort of wooden house with stairs before the front door. He's living alone by the way. His parents is out of town while, Sungmin is here in Seoul to study.
We both sat in his sofa and then he opened my gift infront of me.
"It's a pink bag!! Thanks." I felt that he's not satisfied with it.
"You are not satisfied with it right?" I smirked.
"No! I'am satisfied it just that-"
"It just that?" I interrupted while he's finishing his last sentence.
"Well, it is too simple I gotta admit" He smiled, a little bit guilty that he lied.
"No it's not!" I said.
"Huh?" confused.
"Open the bag" I said.
"Okay" He childishly opened the bag. In his surprise.
"Oh my Gosh!!!! It's DBSK's latest album!" he opened the album and grabbed the photobook part and then he showed me Jaejoong's picture.
"Jaejoong is so hot in here!" He squealed.
"Yeah right" I smirked. I don't like DBSK that much. Sorry Sungmin.
"Gellie?"
"Hmm?" I smiled.
He's looking and smiling at me. I felt like I was in heaven, it was like a light shining down on him while smiling sweetly.
"What?" I laughed
"I know you don't like DBSK but-" He held my hand, I froze
"B-but?" I shivered with his touch.
"Thanks for this, I really love it!" He pulled my hand and hugged me so tight. I can feel the warmth of his body.
"Uh, yeah you're welcome" i giggled and then it's my turn to wrap my arms around him.
"I love you" He whispered to my ear.
[i]I love you...[/i] I kept hearing this words from him, every time I gave him a gift or if sometimes he just feel like saying it. But this I love you is just a friendly I love you.
"I love you too" Same words, but a different feeling. This "I love you" is true. I love Sungmin so much, it is more than a best friend.
"Sungmin" I grunted.
"Yeah?" Still hugging me.
"I...can't...breathe" Trying to break his hug, but he's too strong.
"Oh! Sorry Gellie" He laughed "I'm just to excited with your gift"
It's okay to be forever like this, forever best friends. I'm happy that he's happy. Maybe he's satisfied, but I have to admit I'm not satisfied, because he will never love me, in my case, I just need to accept the fact.
Jan 3, 2010, Monday - First day of senior year.
"Another year of torture" He said while we are walking. School is just 2 blocks away from our house so thats why we just walk.
"Tell me about it" I replied.
"But the good thing is, no more chem and no more geometry!" He cheered.
"But there's physics and trigonometry" I said. The atmosphere went down, it's my fault again, sorry sungmin.
"Darn. But you can help me right?" he smiled.
"Of course" I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him from the side.
"I love you so much bestfriend!!" He cheerfully said that to me.
"I love you too" I said, quite serious.
As usual, same words different meanings.
[School]
Me and Sungmin had the same homeroom as usual, we are always beside each other in our seats, and we always eat lunch and snack together.
"Do you think this is will be a great year?" he ask curiously.
"As long I'm with my best friend, it'll be always great" I flashed a big smile infront of him.
"Aww, so sweet" He laughed.
After our little conversation, the class started. Our homeroom teacher Mr. Lee Donghae, passed the our individual schedules around us.
"Can I see your sched?" I asked Sungmin.
"Oh, yeah here" He handed me over his schedule.
I studied his schedule and compared it to mine.
"We have, trig, music, PE, and social studies together"
"Oh cool, were together most of it" He smiled.
Silence broke into our class when Mr. Lee introduced us to a new student.
"He is Cho Kyuhyun, I really wish that you will be nice to him" Glance at the new guy "Wanna say something"
He cleared his throat and then he said something quite different to us.
"Hi my name is Cho Kyuhyun, hope we will be friends" he said that in english.
The class were murmuring about his language.
"What did he say?" sungmin asked, quite confused on what said. "I only understood his name"
"He said that hope we will be friends"
"Ah by the way, Mr. Kyuhyun is from america, he only knows a little korean, so if there's someone can speak english here, would you like to volunteer to help him?"
"You can help him!" Sungmin whispered
"W-wae!!" I replied.
"You're the one who's good in english here! You should help him" He said.
Still quiet in my seat, until Sungmin patted my back so hard. I stood up.
"Yes Ms. Angela?" Mr. Lee asked.
"I was wondering if I could help...kyuhyun" I turned my head to sungmin and mouthed "That hurts!"
"Sorry" he mouthed back and then do the V sign for me.
"Thank you Ms. Angela, you may sit down now" I sat down.
"So Mr. Kyuhyun, you can seat at the back of Ms. Angela" Mr. Lee ordered.
"Kamsa hamnida" He replied in Korean.
Once Kyuhyun sat at the back, I noticed Sungmin turned his head around. But I just ignored it.
The bell rang, the other students went out the room but me and Sungmin stayed for awhile to introduce ourselves to Kyuhyun. I approached him first.
"Hi" I said that in english.
"Hi" he replied in english and then smiled.
"I'm Angela by the way, Angela Kim" I replied and then I offered my hand.
"Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun" He shook me hand as a response.
"And this is Sungmin"
"Hi! Mah nem, ees Sungmin Lee" Offered his hand and then smiled.
"Annyonghasaeyo Sungmin, by the way I can speak Korean. There's just a little bit of misunderstanding there."
"Kurae! Good! I thought that you'll be all english" Relieved.
"Cool, so uhm can you show me your schedule?" I asked.
"Here" He handed over his schedule.
I studied his schedule and I was really surprised by it.
"Oh, we have almost the same schedule. It's just you and sungmin have the last subject."
"Gellie, what subject?" sungmin asked.
"Physics" I said.
"Oh phy-WHAT! Physics! You're not in my Physics class?" he said. He was worried.
"Sadly yes, maybe you can go to my house as usual, and study with me okay?" I said.
"Tsk, okay" He pouts.
"Excuse, uhm maybe I can help you in Physics during class" Kyuhyun interfered.
"Eh?" sungmin looked at him.
"Since we have the same the same class in physics, maybe I can help you out" Kyuhyun said.
"K-kurae" Sungmin grinned, and I noticed that Sungmin's face was quite dreamy looking at Kyuhyun's face.
"Okay" Kyuhyun flashed a big grin to Sungmin and he went off for his next class.
[School corridors]
"You like him!?!!?!" I asked him, shockingly.
"Wae? That's not a bad thing right?" Sungmin replied.
"Yeah but..." I was blank.
"But?"
"Nothing" I replied.
"Oh gotta go, I'll see you in music class in ne?" He said.
"Okay" I faked a smile.
"Bye!" He gave me a peck on my cheeks.
Like I don't know why's that word affected me so much. I don't know why it's a bad thing for me. Supposed to be I'm happy for him, but I felt that I just want him to be away with Kyuhyun just now. I think this will be a rough year.
[Angela's House]
I was doing my homework for music, they said they need to compose a song for a person in this class. But of course it's anonymous. I guess you know who's that person is. I already finished my melody, lyrics is almost done, since I'm really inspired. The feeling is just so perfect this time. But a phone call just disturbed my mood.
"Hello?" I answered
"Gellie!"
"Oh, hey sungmin" His voice is just the thing I need right now.
"Guess what?" His voice is quite cheerful this time.
"What? Jaejoong again?" I joked
"No, it's Kyuhyun"
"Eh?"
[i] Kyuhyun [/i] That name again?
"What about him?" I asked.
"He was great in Physics class! I understood the lesson today, and it's all thanks to him. He's the best!"
"The best?" I said, my voice is quite cracked.
*flashback*
"Gellie! I understood it! Thanks to you! You're the best Gellie!" Sungmin hugged me during we're walking in the school corridors.
*end of flashback*
"Really? I'm glad that you understood it" my voice cracked.
"Hey, what's the problem?" Sungmin worriedly asked.
"Nothing, I'm just watching a sad movie this time" I sniffed.
"Oh okay, oh wait kyuhyun is calling! BTW he just got my number! See you tomorrow bye!" He hung up.
it is not a good thing for me , I looked stupid here, crying myself in the room.
"I thought that's for me? It was always me" I sobbed.
I went to the corner of my bed, bent my knees, crying. I don't if school year will still be great starting tomorrow.
January 4, 2010. Music class.
Mr. Kim Heechul, our music class teacher, ask us who's finished in our composition. I voluntarily raised my hand. I went to the stage, brought my guitar, and then Mr. Kim asked me a few questions.
"Okay, Ms. Angela Kim. This song is for?" Mr. Kim asked.
"It's for guy who's really dense" I said.
"Dense? Why dense?" He asked.
I was quiet, I don't want to spill my secret to everyone.
"Oh i see, maybe that guy was to dense to notice what you felt for him?" Mr. Kim said.
"Exactly" I said "Shall I start now?" I asked Mr Kim.
"Sure"
I took a deep breath, and I looked at Sungmin for awhile. This time, he's my strength. He smiled and mouthed "Good Luck" too me, and I smiled as a response.
Jealous of the girl who caught your eye
One of my darker days
When you looked at her where was I?
Shoulda been in her place
Here I am
All alone imagining what might have been
What could have been
If I had been there
[Chorus:]
Jealous of the one who'se arms are around you
If she's keeping you satisfied
Jealous of the one who finally found you
Made your sun and your stars collide
La la la la la la la
She's a very very lucky girl
La la la la la la la
Jealous of the one who won your heart
They say it's a perfect match
She's gonna get to be where you are
And it won't get better than that
She'll say you're fine
Whisper words I wish were mine
And they might have been
What could have been
If I had been there
[Chorus]
And you know I'd fight a good fight
If I thought I'd change your mind
But if she makes you happy
Then I'll leave the dream behind
Man, she better treat you right
And give you everything
Cause the moment that she doesn't
I'll be waiting in the wings
[Chorus] 2x
La la la la la la la
She's a very very lucky girl
[Chorus]
"Oh my gosh I looked stupid" While I'm singing the song, tears fell down on my cheeks simultaneously. I looked at Sungmin's face, I can see that he's really worried.
"Are you okay" Mr. Kim asked
"Yeah, I just need fresh air. Excuse me" I ran off the stage, I went out the door, went up to the balcony...and cried. The thing he said last night reflected to me. I'll admit, it hurts. I love Sungmin so much, and you know that it is not a friendly love, it is more than that. I heard someone opened the door.
"Gellie?" That voice is always familiar to me.
"Go away" My voice cracked.
"I can't leave you like this Gellie. I'm worried, what happened?" Sungmin said while Kyuhyun is beside him.
I kept crying.
"Come on" Sungmin knelt down, and then he hugged me tight, to comfort me. Kyuhyun offered his hanky to me.
I kept crying on his shoulders while he's cradling me into his arms. But hugging me make it more worse, especially the one who's hugging me is the one I'm inlove with.
[1 month later later]
I sat on my English class seat, and then a gentleman always greets me after he sat beside me. It was Kyuhyun, we have the English class together.
"Are okay now?" Kyuhyun asked.
"Yeah, I recovered" I said.
"Sungmin was so worried, how's your wrist?" He worriedly ask. To be honest we are quite close now.
I looked into my scar in my wrist, and the thing happened to me flashbacked into my mind.
*flashback*
Sungmin didn't called me for 3 weeks, it was really depressing for me. I was not in myself during school, and I suddenly don't eat regularly. There's something that caught my eye, a cutter. My decision was now final that time, I decided to end my life since I'm not getting him, It's useless now. I cut myself, and blood rushed into my arms. I felt quite dizzy and then my phone was ringing. Since I really felt really dizzy that time, and my face and lips became so pale, I can answer the phone properly.
"Gellie? Gellie are you there?" Sungmin said.
"Min-nie..." The phone fell.
"Gellie? Gellie!! Where are you? Answer me! Gellie!" He said from the phone.
*end of flashback*
"It's okay now I guess" But it will be better if you guys didn't came and let me die in my room" I said.
"We know, you are quite depressed. But i think maybe we can solve it together right?" Kyuhyun smiled.
I snickered "No one can solve my fucking problem" I said.
"Angela" Kyuhyun said.
I was silent.
"Maybe you'll be happy with this, it's about Sungmin" He said.
I turned my head to him immediately, if it's about Sungmin, I'll listen to it.
"What about Minnie?" I faked a smile.
"Me and Minnie are already dating" My eyed widened.
"What? S-since when?" I tried to hold back my tears. I don't want to be obvious.
"Last week. Since the day I told I was gay" He said.
I just nodded. This is just the worst. There's also no words to say now.
[Angela's House]
I was surfing the net that time, looking the latest updates from the k-pop world. The phone started to ring again.
"Hello?" in a weak voice.
"Hey." Worried kind of hey.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Are you okay? I missed you so much bestfriend" Sungmin said.
"I don't know, still depressed I guess" I said.
"Did Kyuhyun told you already?"
"Yeah, this English class"
"I see. Uhm do you want to go this saturday?"
"What's with?" I asked.
"Nothing, let's hang out with Kyuhyun"
Kyuhyun again. "Oh sure, I'm free that time."
"Great! See you saturday! Bye Angela" He hung up.
Angela... That's the first time he called me Angela. He usually called me as Gellie. Things are really different now. Too different, especially with his new boyfriend around. I fucking hate it.
[Saturday]
We're in the amusement park, I didn't rode alot of rides, I just watched them going lovey dovey in the park. I hate being the 3rd wheel here. It suck. But the cool thing is I haven't seen them kissing yet. They rode the viking, rollercoaster, bumper cars, everthing, all without me. The do invite me, but I just reject it. The place is getting darker, and then I felt a water dropped into my face, and then in my hands, my feet...it's raining. I called them and we ran into a small shelter. It's perfect, only the three of us are fitted in that shelter. I was there, quiet. But the two love birds snickering each others next. Fuck this, they're only 5 inches to each other. I wishing them not kiss, I kept wishing, but...fuck this again, they kissed infront of me. Woohoo, oh joy, I can't helped it. I broke their kiss and then I said.
"I'll go home, now umma's looking for me bye" I walked away.
"Oh be careful! Take care! Love you bestfriend"
I didn't reply. I walked through the hard rain, crying...it doesn't matter anything, if I get wet, got robbed, etc. My life is just useless. I received a text message. It's from Sungmin.
=I'm staying in Kyuhyun's place tonight. Take care okay? Goodnight. I love you=
[5 months later]
I went to school, 3 days or 2 days a week only...school just sucks now, the only good thing I had is the college I applied to...in Julliard. I applied for music in my course. And today is the day that I will find out whether I got in or not. I opened my locker, there's an envelope. It's from Julliard. I opened the envelope, read the letter. I got in. I have an interview schedule after 2 weeks. Sungmin you may ask? We hardly spoken for 5 months. I missed him. I still love him. But him and kyuhyun are going strong. Fucking miserable right? I'm eating lunch alone, and I'm eating snack alone. Miserable, miserable, just so fucking miserable. I always remember they days when I'm with Sungmin. I missed his friendly I love yous, I missed everything about him. But it's a relief, I'm leaving next week.Yay.
[Infront of my house]
It was already night time. The park is infront of our house. I sat on the bench, reading a book. I'm wearing my hoodie, so no one will, recognize. Okay this is fucking stupid, recognize? Tch. I felt someone next to me. I just ignored it.
"Angela?"
A familiar voice calling my name. Could it be?
"Gellie" He cried again.
I closed my book, removed my hoodie. I stared into his eyes, I missed staring at it.
"Minnie" I said. Tears starting falling, I can't hold it back.
"Gellie I-"
"I need to go" I cut him off. I stood up, I went away. Wiping my tears while walking.
"Gellie what's wrong with you!"
I kept on walking
He was already following me. "What did I do? Gellie listen to me! GELLIE!"
"Go away Sungmin!!" I shouted at him still walking.
"Gellie! I MISSED YOU OKAY!"
I stopped.
"Gellie, what's the problem? You could always say it to me, Gellie! Talk to me" He went infront of me.
I faced him.
"Please" He whispered.
"My problem" I chucked.
"We can solve it rig-"
"NO CAN SOLVE MY FUCKING PROBLEM!" I shouted at him. Tears coming out from my eyes.
"Gellie! Stop it! I missed you!" He hugged me so tight.
"No...no! Stop it! Stop it!" I broke his hug.
"Can you just, tell what the problem is!" He shook my shoulders.
"Wanna know? Wanna know why I'm like this? Is it different?" I said.
"You're so different. What happened?" He said gently
"You're my problem" I said.
"Me? What did I do?" confused.
"WHY YOU'RE SO DENSE! GODDAMMIT!"
He's is now confused.
"Dense?"
"I love you Minnie" I said.
"Wha- What? I love you too, and you know that" He said.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
Now he's really confused.
"I LOVE YOU! More than, best friend."
His eyes widened.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU NOTICE. WHY! WHY! WHY!!!" I screamed but...
His kiss.
His kiss cut me off. Our lips met for the first time. But it is so wrong. I pulled him. I looked into his almost wet eyes, and I went away.
I went into my house, crying infront of the door. I looked at the window, I saw Sungmin, knelt down. Also crying. I felt guilty for the first time.
Sungmin's POV
I felt guilty for the first time? Why suddenly, I felt that it's all my fault. I do love her, but it's all just friends. I love kyuhyun, he's my boyfriend, we love each other, so much. There are times we spend each other on bed, alot of times.
But it felt so incomplete. Kyuhyun told me that Angela will leave for Julliard. I was completely shocked. And today, she will leave for good.
"Hon, how are you?" Kyuhyun asked.
"Ugh, yeah. I'm okay" I lied.
"Angela will leave today" Kyuhyun said
"Good" I lied again.
"Good? What's good about that?" He asked
"She will fulfill her dreams and-"
"Yeah, she will fulfill her dreams but I'll be incomplete did you know that?" He said.
"Why would be incomp-"
"You didn't even say goodbye"
Silent.
"I understand what she feels, she loves you. She's my friend too! I hope that you will-"
"Okay shut it, where's the car keys?"
"I LOVE YOU! Let's go!"
Kyuhyun grabbed my hands and then we went off to see Angela for the last time.
Angela's POV.
"Don't be stupid Angela, He will not come."
I'm wrong. A car stopped infront of me and then familiar faces came out the car.
"GELLIE!"
It was Sungmin.
"Gellie."
I can't believe he was infront of me, after what happened that night, he will still show up. I can't find any words to say.
"Sungmin"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Minnie?" I smiled.
"Much better"
A call from the airport. Flight from LA is now boarding. That's my call.
"Minnie, that's my call"
"No...please wait." he begged.
"Will you...kiss me for the last time?"
He looked at Kyuhyun, and i think he knew what Sungmin meant. He just nodded.
Sungmin fixed my hair and then he leaned closer, to let our lips meet. I touched his face, tears fall down in my cheeks again. And I really think that, that would be the last time, touching him. The boarding announcement broke our kiss. It was so perfect.
"Bye, Minnie. I love you" I whispered to his ear.
"Bye, Gellie. I love you too" It felt so different. It's not the friendly that I felt everyday with him.
Kyuhyun approached us. I let go of sungmin and then I hugged Kyuhyun next.
"Take care of Minnie for me" I whispered to his ear.
"I will Angela" Kyuhyun replied.
"Love him with all your heart"
"I will" Kyuhyun replied.
I walked towards the entrance. I waved at them for the last time and then after that I turned around and went inside the airport. I smiled. This is the time that I felt happy again, after all those months. I can now felt the courage and because of that, I'm ready to face the things I'm gonna face to my new path of life.
------------------------------------------ - - - -
I hope it's not that....bad kekekek :D Yay I figured this out! The...cut thing :))
So yeah, give me cookies, strawberries, chocolates...in short comments :))))
Forgive me for my english constructions and being so angst-y :P :)))))
Characters: KyuMin, Me, others.
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance.
Summary: I hope my bestfriend will notice how I feel. Even though he's "twisted".
Disclaimer: Don't own suju, don't own the songs...
Angela's POV
Jan 1, 2010, Saturday - New year and Sungmin's birthday.
"Happy birthday Minnie!!!" I greeted him and I hand over my gift on a hot pink wrapper and a pink ribbon. Sungmin loves pink.
Sungmin Yawned. "Good morning. Happy new year by the way" He answered his door wearing his pink pajamas
.
"Sorry I disturbed you early in the morning" I said
"You always disturb me *yawns* I'm used to it"
"Your gift! You don't want it?" I pretended to be sad and gave him a cute frown
"Of course not Angela" he laughed "I'm still half-awake"
"Sorry" I smiled.
"What's this?" He shook my medium sized gift, in a curious look.
"See for yourself"
"Let's go inside first, It's pretty cold out here"
I went inside his house. It is just a normal house with 2 stories. You know like in an American movies, sort of wooden house with stairs before the front door. He's living alone by the way. His parents is out of town while, Sungmin is here in Seoul to study.
We both sat in his sofa and then he opened my gift infront of me.
"It's a pink bag!! Thanks." I felt that he's not satisfied with it.
"You are not satisfied with it right?" I smirked.
"No! I'am satisfied it just that-"
"It just that?" I interrupted while he's finishing his last sentence.
"Well, it is too simple I gotta admit" He smiled, a little bit guilty that he lied.
"No it's not!" I said.
"Huh?" confused.
"Open the bag" I said.
"Okay" He childishly opened the bag. In his surprise.
"Oh my Gosh!!!! It's DBSK's latest album!" he opened the album and grabbed the photobook part and then he showed me Jaejoong's picture.
"Jaejoong is so hot in here!" He squealed.
"Yeah right" I smirked. I don't like DBSK that much. Sorry Sungmin.
"Gellie?"
"Hmm?" I smiled.
He's looking and smiling at me. I felt like I was in heaven, it was like a light shining down on him while smiling sweetly.
"What?" I laughed
"I know you don't like DBSK but-" He held my hand, I froze
"B-but?" I shivered with his touch.
"Thanks for this, I really love it!" He pulled my hand and hugged me so tight. I can feel the warmth of his body.
"Uh, yeah you're welcome" i giggled and then it's my turn to wrap my arms around him.
"I love you" He whispered to my ear.
[i]I love you...[/i] I kept hearing this words from him, every time I gave him a gift or if sometimes he just feel like saying it. But this I love you is just a friendly I love you.
"I love you too" Same words, but a different feeling. This "I love you" is true. I love Sungmin so much, it is more than a best friend.
"Sungmin" I grunted.
"Yeah?" Still hugging me.
"I...can't...breathe" Trying to break his hug, but he's too strong.
"Oh! Sorry Gellie" He laughed "I'm just to excited with your gift"
It's okay to be forever like this, forever best friends. I'm happy that he's happy. Maybe he's satisfied, but I have to admit I'm not satisfied, because he will never love me, in my case, I just need to accept the fact.
Jan 3, 2010, Monday - First day of senior year.
"Another year of torture" He said while we are walking. School is just 2 blocks away from our house so thats why we just walk.
"Tell me about it" I replied.
"But the good thing is, no more chem and no more geometry!" He cheered.
"But there's physics and trigonometry" I said. The atmosphere went down, it's my fault again, sorry sungmin.
"Darn. But you can help me right?" he smiled.
"Of course" I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him from the side.
"I love you so much bestfriend!!" He cheerfully said that to me.
"I love you too" I said, quite serious.
As usual, same words different meanings.
[School]
Me and Sungmin had the same homeroom as usual, we are always beside each other in our seats, and we always eat lunch and snack together.
"Do you think this is will be a great year?" he ask curiously.
"As long I'm with my best friend, it'll be always great" I flashed a big smile infront of him.
"Aww, so sweet" He laughed.
After our little conversation, the class started. Our homeroom teacher Mr. Lee Donghae, passed the our individual schedules around us.
"Can I see your sched?" I asked Sungmin.
"Oh, yeah here" He handed me over his schedule.
I studied his schedule and compared it to mine.
"We have, trig, music, PE, and social studies together"
"Oh cool, were together most of it" He smiled.
Silence broke into our class when Mr. Lee introduced us to a new student.
"He is Cho Kyuhyun, I really wish that you will be nice to him" Glance at the new guy "Wanna say something"
He cleared his throat and then he said something quite different to us.
"Hi my name is Cho Kyuhyun, hope we will be friends" he said that in english.
The class were murmuring about his language.
"What did he say?" sungmin asked, quite confused on what said. "I only understood his name"
"He said that hope we will be friends"
"Ah by the way, Mr. Kyuhyun is from america, he only knows a little korean, so if there's someone can speak english here, would you like to volunteer to help him?"
"You can help him!" Sungmin whispered
"W-wae!!" I replied.
"You're the one who's good in english here! You should help him" He said.
Still quiet in my seat, until Sungmin patted my back so hard. I stood up.
"Yes Ms. Angela?" Mr. Lee asked.
"I was wondering if I could help...kyuhyun" I turned my head to sungmin and mouthed "That hurts!"
"Sorry" he mouthed back and then do the V sign for me.
"Thank you Ms. Angela, you may sit down now" I sat down.
"So Mr. Kyuhyun, you can seat at the back of Ms. Angela" Mr. Lee ordered.
"Kamsa hamnida" He replied in Korean.
Once Kyuhyun sat at the back, I noticed Sungmin turned his head around. But I just ignored it.
The bell rang, the other students went out the room but me and Sungmin stayed for awhile to introduce ourselves to Kyuhyun. I approached him first.
"Hi" I said that in english.
"Hi" he replied in english and then smiled.
"I'm Angela by the way, Angela Kim" I replied and then I offered my hand.
"Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun" He shook me hand as a response.
"And this is Sungmin"
"Hi! Mah nem, ees Sungmin Lee" Offered his hand and then smiled.
"Annyonghasaeyo Sungmin, by the way I can speak Korean. There's just a little bit of misunderstanding there."
"Kurae! Good! I thought that you'll be all english" Relieved.
"Cool, so uhm can you show me your schedule?" I asked.
"Here" He handed over his schedule.
I studied his schedule and I was really surprised by it.
"Oh, we have almost the same schedule. It's just you and sungmin have the last subject."
"Gellie, what subject?" sungmin asked.
"Physics" I said.
"Oh phy-WHAT! Physics! You're not in my Physics class?" he said. He was worried.
"Sadly yes, maybe you can go to my house as usual, and study with me okay?" I said.
"Tsk, okay" He pouts.
"Excuse, uhm maybe I can help you in Physics during class" Kyuhyun interfered.
"Eh?" sungmin looked at him.
"Since we have the same the same class in physics, maybe I can help you out" Kyuhyun said.
"K-kurae" Sungmin grinned, and I noticed that Sungmin's face was quite dreamy looking at Kyuhyun's face.
"Okay" Kyuhyun flashed a big grin to Sungmin and he went off for his next class.
[School corridors]
"You like him!?!!?!" I asked him, shockingly.
"Wae? That's not a bad thing right?" Sungmin replied.
"Yeah but..." I was blank.
"But?"
"Nothing" I replied.
"Oh gotta go, I'll see you in music class in ne?" He said.
"Okay" I faked a smile.
"Bye!" He gave me a peck on my cheeks.
Like I don't know why's that word affected me so much. I don't know why it's a bad thing for me. Supposed to be I'm happy for him, but I felt that I just want him to be away with Kyuhyun just now. I think this will be a rough year.
[Angela's House]
I was doing my homework for music, they said they need to compose a song for a person in this class. But of course it's anonymous. I guess you know who's that person is. I already finished my melody, lyrics is almost done, since I'm really inspired. The feeling is just so perfect this time. But a phone call just disturbed my mood.
"Hello?" I answered
"Gellie!"
"Oh, hey sungmin" His voice is just the thing I need right now.
"Guess what?" His voice is quite cheerful this time.
"What? Jaejoong again?" I joked
"No, it's Kyuhyun"
"Eh?"
[i] Kyuhyun [/i] That name again?
"What about him?" I asked.
"He was great in Physics class! I understood the lesson today, and it's all thanks to him. He's the best!"
"The best?" I said, my voice is quite cracked.
*flashback*
"Gellie! I understood it! Thanks to you! You're the best Gellie!" Sungmin hugged me during we're walking in the school corridors.
*end of flashback*
"Really? I'm glad that you understood it" my voice cracked.
"Hey, what's the problem?" Sungmin worriedly asked.
"Nothing, I'm just watching a sad movie this time" I sniffed.
"Oh okay, oh wait kyuhyun is calling! BTW he just got my number! See you tomorrow bye!" He hung up.
it is not a good thing for me , I looked stupid here, crying myself in the room.
"I thought that's for me? It was always me" I sobbed.
I went to the corner of my bed, bent my knees, crying. I don't if school year will still be great starting tomorrow.
January 4, 2010. Music class.
Mr. Kim Heechul, our music class teacher, ask us who's finished in our composition. I voluntarily raised my hand. I went to the stage, brought my guitar, and then Mr. Kim asked me a few questions.
"Okay, Ms. Angela Kim. This song is for?" Mr. Kim asked.
"It's for guy who's really dense" I said.
"Dense? Why dense?" He asked.
I was quiet, I don't want to spill my secret to everyone.
"Oh i see, maybe that guy was to dense to notice what you felt for him?" Mr. Kim said.
"Exactly" I said "Shall I start now?" I asked Mr Kim.
"Sure"
I took a deep breath, and I looked at Sungmin for awhile. This time, he's my strength. He smiled and mouthed "Good Luck" too me, and I smiled as a response.
Jealous of the girl who caught your eye
One of my darker days
When you looked at her where was I?
Shoulda been in her place
Here I am
All alone imagining what might have been
What could have been
If I had been there
[Chorus:]
Jealous of the one who'se arms are around you
If she's keeping you satisfied
Jealous of the one who finally found you
Made your sun and your stars collide
La la la la la la la
She's a very very lucky girl
La la la la la la la
Jealous of the one who won your heart
They say it's a perfect match
She's gonna get to be where you are
And it won't get better than that
She'll say you're fine
Whisper words I wish were mine
And they might have been
What could have been
If I had been there
[Chorus]
And you know I'd fight a good fight
If I thought I'd change your mind
But if she makes you happy
Then I'll leave the dream behind
Man, she better treat you right
And give you everything
Cause the moment that she doesn't
I'll be waiting in the wings
[Chorus] 2x
La la la la la la la
She's a very very lucky girl
[Chorus]
"Oh my gosh I looked stupid" While I'm singing the song, tears fell down on my cheeks simultaneously. I looked at Sungmin's face, I can see that he's really worried.
"Are you okay" Mr. Kim asked
"Yeah, I just need fresh air. Excuse me" I ran off the stage, I went out the door, went up to the balcony...and cried. The thing he said last night reflected to me. I'll admit, it hurts. I love Sungmin so much, and you know that it is not a friendly love, it is more than that. I heard someone opened the door.
"Gellie?" That voice is always familiar to me.
"Go away" My voice cracked.
"I can't leave you like this Gellie. I'm worried, what happened?" Sungmin said while Kyuhyun is beside him.
I kept crying.
"Come on" Sungmin knelt down, and then he hugged me tight, to comfort me. Kyuhyun offered his hanky to me.
I kept crying on his shoulders while he's cradling me into his arms. But hugging me make it more worse, especially the one who's hugging me is the one I'm inlove with.
[1 month later later]
I sat on my English class seat, and then a gentleman always greets me after he sat beside me. It was Kyuhyun, we have the English class together.
"Are okay now?" Kyuhyun asked.
"Yeah, I recovered" I said.
"Sungmin was so worried, how's your wrist?" He worriedly ask. To be honest we are quite close now.
I looked into my scar in my wrist, and the thing happened to me flashbacked into my mind.
*flashback*
Sungmin didn't called me for 3 weeks, it was really depressing for me. I was not in myself during school, and I suddenly don't eat regularly. There's something that caught my eye, a cutter. My decision was now final that time, I decided to end my life since I'm not getting him, It's useless now. I cut myself, and blood rushed into my arms. I felt quite dizzy and then my phone was ringing. Since I really felt really dizzy that time, and my face and lips became so pale, I can answer the phone properly.
"Gellie? Gellie are you there?" Sungmin said.
"Min-nie..." The phone fell.
"Gellie? Gellie!! Where are you? Answer me! Gellie!" He said from the phone.
*end of flashback*
"It's okay now I guess" But it will be better if you guys didn't came and let me die in my room" I said.
"We know, you are quite depressed. But i think maybe we can solve it together right?" Kyuhyun smiled.
I snickered "No one can solve my fucking problem" I said.
"Angela" Kyuhyun said.
I was silent.
"Maybe you'll be happy with this, it's about Sungmin" He said.
I turned my head to him immediately, if it's about Sungmin, I'll listen to it.
"What about Minnie?" I faked a smile.
"Me and Minnie are already dating" My eyed widened.
"What? S-since when?" I tried to hold back my tears. I don't want to be obvious.
"Last week. Since the day I told I was gay" He said.
I just nodded. This is just the worst. There's also no words to say now.
[Angela's House]
I was surfing the net that time, looking the latest updates from the k-pop world. The phone started to ring again.
"Hello?" in a weak voice.
"Hey." Worried kind of hey.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Are you okay? I missed you so much bestfriend" Sungmin said.
"I don't know, still depressed I guess" I said.
"Did Kyuhyun told you already?"
"Yeah, this English class"
"I see. Uhm do you want to go this saturday?"
"What's with?" I asked.
"Nothing, let's hang out with Kyuhyun"
Kyuhyun again. "Oh sure, I'm free that time."
"Great! See you saturday! Bye Angela" He hung up.
Angela... That's the first time he called me Angela. He usually called me as Gellie. Things are really different now. Too different, especially with his new boyfriend around. I fucking hate it.
[Saturday]
We're in the amusement park, I didn't rode alot of rides, I just watched them going lovey dovey in the park. I hate being the 3rd wheel here. It suck. But the cool thing is I haven't seen them kissing yet. They rode the viking, rollercoaster, bumper cars, everthing, all without me. The do invite me, but I just reject it. The place is getting darker, and then I felt a water dropped into my face, and then in my hands, my feet...it's raining. I called them and we ran into a small shelter. It's perfect, only the three of us are fitted in that shelter. I was there, quiet. But the two love birds snickering each others next. Fuck this, they're only 5 inches to each other. I wishing them not kiss, I kept wishing, but...fuck this again, they kissed infront of me. Woohoo, oh joy, I can't helped it. I broke their kiss and then I said.
"I'll go home, now umma's looking for me bye" I walked away.
"Oh be careful! Take care! Love you bestfriend"
I didn't reply. I walked through the hard rain, crying...it doesn't matter anything, if I get wet, got robbed, etc. My life is just useless. I received a text message. It's from Sungmin.
=I'm staying in Kyuhyun's place tonight. Take care okay? Goodnight. I love you=
[5 months later]
I went to school, 3 days or 2 days a week only...school just sucks now, the only good thing I had is the college I applied to...in Julliard. I applied for music in my course. And today is the day that I will find out whether I got in or not. I opened my locker, there's an envelope. It's from Julliard. I opened the envelope, read the letter. I got in. I have an interview schedule after 2 weeks. Sungmin you may ask? We hardly spoken for 5 months. I missed him. I still love him. But him and kyuhyun are going strong. Fucking miserable right? I'm eating lunch alone, and I'm eating snack alone. Miserable, miserable, just so fucking miserable. I always remember they days when I'm with Sungmin. I missed his friendly I love yous, I missed everything about him. But it's a relief, I'm leaving next week.Yay.
[Infront of my house]
It was already night time. The park is infront of our house. I sat on the bench, reading a book. I'm wearing my hoodie, so no one will, recognize. Okay this is fucking stupid, recognize? Tch. I felt someone next to me. I just ignored it.
"Angela?"
A familiar voice calling my name. Could it be?
"Gellie" He cried again.
I closed my book, removed my hoodie. I stared into his eyes, I missed staring at it.
"Minnie" I said. Tears starting falling, I can't hold it back.
"Gellie I-"
"I need to go" I cut him off. I stood up, I went away. Wiping my tears while walking.
"Gellie what's wrong with you!"
I kept on walking
He was already following me. "What did I do? Gellie listen to me! GELLIE!"
"Go away Sungmin!!" I shouted at him still walking.
"Gellie! I MISSED YOU OKAY!"
I stopped.
"Gellie, what's the problem? You could always say it to me, Gellie! Talk to me" He went infront of me.
I faced him.
"Please" He whispered.
"My problem" I chucked.
"We can solve it rig-"
"NO CAN SOLVE MY FUCKING PROBLEM!" I shouted at him. Tears coming out from my eyes.
"Gellie! Stop it! I missed you!" He hugged me so tight.
"No...no! Stop it! Stop it!" I broke his hug.
"Can you just, tell what the problem is!" He shook my shoulders.
"Wanna know? Wanna know why I'm like this? Is it different?" I said.
"You're so different. What happened?" He said gently
"You're my problem" I said.
"Me? What did I do?" confused.
"WHY YOU'RE SO DENSE! GODDAMMIT!"
He's is now confused.
"Dense?"
"I love you Minnie" I said.
"Wha- What? I love you too, and you know that" He said.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"
Now he's really confused.
"I LOVE YOU! More than, best friend."
His eyes widened.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU NOTICE. WHY! WHY! WHY!!!" I screamed but...
His kiss.
His kiss cut me off. Our lips met for the first time. But it is so wrong. I pulled him. I looked into his almost wet eyes, and I went away.
I went into my house, crying infront of the door. I looked at the window, I saw Sungmin, knelt down. Also crying. I felt guilty for the first time.
Sungmin's POV
I felt guilty for the first time? Why suddenly, I felt that it's all my fault. I do love her, but it's all just friends. I love kyuhyun, he's my boyfriend, we love each other, so much. There are times we spend each other on bed, alot of times.
But it felt so incomplete. Kyuhyun told me that Angela will leave for Julliard. I was completely shocked. And today, she will leave for good.
"Hon, how are you?" Kyuhyun asked.
"Ugh, yeah. I'm okay" I lied.
"Angela will leave today" Kyuhyun said
"Good" I lied again.
"Good? What's good about that?" He asked
"She will fulfill her dreams and-"
"Yeah, she will fulfill her dreams but I'll be incomplete did you know that?" He said.
"Why would be incomp-"
"You didn't even say goodbye"
Silent.
"I understand what she feels, she loves you. She's my friend too! I hope that you will-"
"Okay shut it, where's the car keys?"
"I LOVE YOU! Let's go!"
Kyuhyun grabbed my hands and then we went off to see Angela for the last time.
Angela's POV.
"Don't be stupid Angela, He will not come."
I'm wrong. A car stopped infront of me and then familiar faces came out the car.
"GELLIE!"
It was Sungmin.
"Gellie."
I can't believe he was infront of me, after what happened that night, he will still show up. I can't find any words to say.
"Sungmin"
"Stop calling me that!"
"Minnie?" I smiled.
"Much better"
A call from the airport. Flight from LA is now boarding. That's my call.
"Minnie, that's my call"
"No...please wait." he begged.
"Will you...kiss me for the last time?"
He looked at Kyuhyun, and i think he knew what Sungmin meant. He just nodded.
Sungmin fixed my hair and then he leaned closer, to let our lips meet. I touched his face, tears fall down in my cheeks again. And I really think that, that would be the last time, touching him. The boarding announcement broke our kiss. It was so perfect.
"Bye, Minnie. I love you" I whispered to his ear.
"Bye, Gellie. I love you too" It felt so different. It's not the friendly that I felt everyday with him.
Kyuhyun approached us. I let go of sungmin and then I hugged Kyuhyun next.
"Take care of Minnie for me" I whispered to his ear.
"I will Angela" Kyuhyun replied.
"Love him with all your heart"
"I will" Kyuhyun replied.
I walked towards the entrance. I waved at them for the last time and then after that I turned around and went inside the airport. I smiled. This is the time that I felt happy again, after all those months. I can now felt the courage and because of that, I'm ready to face the things I'm gonna face to my new path of life.
------------------------------------------ - - - -
I hope it's not that....bad kekekek :D Yay I figured this out! The...cut thing :))
So yeah, give me cookies, strawberries, chocolates...in short comments :))))
Forgive me for my english constructions and being so angst-y :P :)))))