DURARARA DVD Vol.2 Drama CD 1 "Range and Versatility" - Track 1
My first time doing a drama CD, and it's proving pretty fun.
A side note: this story is not included in the novels, but it's got to do with a lot of things that happen in Vol.2 and Vol.3.
Track 1
SHIZUO
IIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAAAA! Thought it was about time you UNDERSTOOD......just how much I HATE YAAAAAA!
IZAYA
Shizu-chan...that I truly and deeply understand. But if I may offer my point of view, it's Shizu-chan who keeps popping up in my way wherever I go...
SHIZUO
It's YOU who keep popping up wherever I go!
IZAYA
Ah, guess we're even then. See ya!
SHIZUO
YOU! Think I'll just let you go?!
IZAYA
God, I do wish for emancipation from Shizu-chan. He should just disappear from this world already. That way, since I love all humans except Heiwajima Shizuo, I'll be able to love the entire human race.
IZAYA
My name is Orihara Izaya. I have an office in Shinjuku, and I'm sort of an information broker. Information can be sold. But I didn't start out collecting information with the intention of selling it. I like humans. When you look at the world with that kind of sentiment, information just naturally flows your way. Everyone should love humans more. That way information brokers would be out of their jobs. But then I'm sure not everyone in the world loves humans like I do.
IZAYA
I like Shinjuku. Shinjuku, Shibuya, Ikebukuro - humans love infighting wherever they are, but different kinds of people flock to different places. Shinjuku is full of adults. I look like a kid to everyone here, so nobody puts up their guard against me. The ones who don't have strong backing tend to see more clearly what goes on behind the scenes, so I find my position pretty convenient.
IZAYA
I used to make a living in Ikebukuro. But I've already pulled out from that place. There are just too many people there who know exactly what I am. Not to mention my hated Shizu-chan is also there. Yet......that place keeps tugging at my legs and beckoning me back somehow. Does that mean Ikebukuro actually loves me more?
IZAYA
Here are the details of what happened this time.
[Ringtone]
IZAYA
Hello?
SHIKI
Is it Orihara-san?
IZAYA
Yes~what an honor it is that a greenhorn like me could be of service to the higher-ups at Awakusu-kai, Shiki-san.
SHIKI
Heh. I see I can skip the formalities. I have something to ask of you.
IZAYA
Dear Mr. Shiki's request goes like this. Five pistols have been stolen from Awakusu-kai. They want the pistols back, but -
SHIKI
Make it as quiet as you possibly can. Do not let any outsider catch wind of this. Retrieve them in perfect condition and in a way to avoid any possibility of unsettling the members in our organization. Would you be able to do that?
IZAYA
NO room for maneuvering. I ended the call in a reasonably gentlemanly manner as my heart went afloat at the interesting way things stood. I'm sure if anybody were to see me like this they'd think I was just happy, since I was all smirking and muttering things to myself. But...it's Ikebukuro. Better ask the usual person to actually do the retrieving part for me. Keep in mind that you have to remain professional.
IZAYA
Ah, Courier? I have something I'd like you to do for me~
CELTY
I am not fond of Orihara Izaya. To begin with I find his personality distasteful. Not to mention the jobs I got via him also tend to leave nasty aftertastes after I'm done with them. This time, he asked me to retrieve five pistols.
SHINRA
You got a job to do, Celty?
CELTY
I communicate with him via a PDA. With my typing speed, it's not that much slower than talking.
CELTY
[Izaya got me a job to do. I was just thinking whether it would be over in no time, or take forever.]
SHINRA
Take care. You know how Orihara-kun is.
CELTY
[That I almost wish I knew less of.]
CELTY
My name is Celty Sturluson. I work as a courier in Ikebukuro. There are rumors around that refer to me as the "Black Motorbike" or "Headless Rider", which are more or less true. It would be way long a story if I were to begin to explain why I became headless, so I'm going to omit it here. As long as you have the general idea of what I am, that'll do for now.
IZAYA
Yo, Courier. So, the first pistol. Though I have no idea how, it looks like it's fallen into the hands of some high school girls. They're almost always at West Gate Park, so I'll leave you to it~!
CELTY
He's always so unilateral.
HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS
Wow~this is so cool~!
GIRL A
This is real, right?
GIRL B
It certainly looks real. Feels heavy.
GIRL A
So as long as it's heavy it's gotta be real?
GIRL B
Well, toy pistols can't be this heavy, can they?
GIRL A
Guess you're right.
GIRL B
Gimme.
GIRL A
Here.
GIRL B
It's REALLY heavy~!
GIRL C
I wanna hold it too.
GIRL D
Really, it's so motherfucking heavy!!
GIRL B
See? I told ya it's real.
GIRL C
Try firing it.
GIRL D
Right! Fire it once and you'll know whether it's real or not!
GIRL C
That's true! Let's do it!
GIRL B
Let's do it then! Who's gonna fire it?
GIRL C
Rock, paper, scissors - !
GIRLS
One, two - rock paper scissors! Once - more! Once - more! Once - more!
CELTY
Had I gotten here a little later, these girls probably would have committed a crime. They should be thankful that they were as dumb as they were.
GIRLS
Hang on.
GIRL A
What's that?
GIRL B
Who's this person? So silent he creeps me out.
GIRL C
Looks like he took something out from his clothes.
GIRL D
What? I can't read that.
GIRL A
Let's see......[Where did you get that from?]
GIRL B
We bought it. So?
GIRL C
Um......[From whom?]
GIRL D
Hmm, who was it?
GIRL B
That one, that one. A woman.
GIRL C
[What did the woman look like?]
GIRL D
What did she look like...? She looked like this. This.
GIRLS
Ahhh that's right! Like that!
CELTY
My patience was at its end.
GIRL C
[Whatever. Just give me that back.]
GIRL B
Ehhhh! I don't want to! It was pretty expensive.
GIRL A
[How much?]
GIRL B
5,000 yen.
GIRL A
[Really?]
GIRL B
Of course! Wasn't it?
GIRL C
Yeah! I paid 2,000 and Youko paid 1,000.
GIRL B
I paid 2,000 and Youko paid 1,000.
GIRL D
For real?
GIRL C
Yeah! I just bought something so I didn't have a lot of money.
GIRL B
Ummm, right. ......What's this?!
GIRL C
Isn't this some sort of...mist?
GIRL D
But it's black?
GIRL B
Urgh......stop it! Wait, what is this?! It's really creepy......
GIRLS
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
CELTY
I wasn't planning to use this on them either, but I didn't have a choice seeing as how these girls are. I retrieved the first pistol without much trouble.
IZAYA
You're so efficient~! That's my Courier. I was right to have given this job to you. I don't wanna urge you, but here's where to find the second pistol. Also in pretty ordinary hands...
CELTY
He was already giving me instructions again. He already knew how things would go - and having to be unpleasantly aware of things like these is exactly why jobs I get from Orihara Izaya usually exhaust me.
End of Track 1