Big Bang 2012: Love Lies Burning. 23/24
The housing development is already set up for their private purposes. Jim has no compunction in returning there with Misha.
Misha looks like the train hit him but he’s conscious and can speak through thick lips.
Jim let’s Jared ask the questions, the tall man is surprisingly calm but it belies the hurt that twists and coils painfully within him. “Why? Why would you want to kill Jen?”
“If you want a job done properly, do it yourself. I paid good money for a failure.” Misha sounds bitter.
“But why would you even want to?”
Misha snorts and shakes his head, “He spies on us. Everything goes in his little black book.”
“I can’t figure it out Mish. What could he write in his book that would be so terrible? This isn’t you. You don’t hurt people.”
Misha looks exasperated, “It’s you I’m protecting. He’s nothing and you wouldn’t miss him, not after the first shock, the same as Josh. You thought Josh was everything but you didn’t need him, you forgot about him soon enough. Jen is going to hurt Padalecki, hurt you, there are things he ….” Misha trails off, as if he’s only just remembering there are things Jared and Jeff don’t know. He changes mid-sentence “You can’t see it. You never do. You let them. You let your Pa beat you, taunt you and disown you. You let your brother beat you up repeatedly and you would let that trailer trash ruin you and your business. Someone has to be there for you. Someone has to stop it all for you. You’re not strong enough.”
“Why would Jen hurt me?”
Misha strains at the ropes tying him and glares at Jim, before replying, “Jen’s not good for you. He’s obsessed with you. He has a hold over you, has done ever since kindergarten. Whenever he was there, it was like there was nobody else in the room. You excluded everyone but him. Once you met him in the gardens it started all over again. Your attention strays to him constantly. It wasn’t healthy in kindergarten and it isn’t healthy now. He’s street vermin and he knows what you did at Becks, I am sure of it. What is he waiting for?”
“You’re jealous!” Jared’s mouth gapes at the realization. He shakes his head and speaks sadly, “He is the only person in my life who doesn’t have his own agenda for me. He is the only one who has ever questioned what I want. I have to ask myself every day if I am good enough for him. I love you Misha, you were my best friend and my comrade in arms, I would have done anything for you but I can’t let this go. You are destroying my blood brother and what could be my one chance at true love. Do you not get how much I love Jensen? My obsession with him makes his with me look mild in comparison.”
“No, no. You’re wrong. There will be others, more suitable.”
“Did you think that when you taped the vents at Becks?”
“I did it for you. I didn’t want to see you hurt by Ackles.”
Jared closes his eyes. Tries to will away the pain of knowing. “I thought you knew me. I don’t want suitable, I never did. What we did to Josh and Cindy hurts me, every day of my life. You damaged me more than anyone else could, and you were going to do it again. I can’t...” tears glisten in his eyes and he turns his back on his old friend to wipe at them. “Ash,” he prompts quietly, and the computer expert steps forward.
Jeff steps forward with Ash, he’s cradling his arm as he speaks. “When you were away we made some adjustments to the company accounts. You might like to take a look at the new arrangements. As you can see, we found considerable and erroneous sums of money for stock we never sold. We thought we should close those regular payments, stop them coming through.”
Misha goes deathly pale as Ash scrolls through the figures.
Jeff continues, “Since it doesn’t belong to us, it seemed wrong to hold on to it, but we puzzled about where to put it. The sort of person who sneaks such large sums of cash through a business is the sort of person who will be very angry when the money doesn’t turn up where it is expected.”
“You can’t just stop. Jared! Listen! You can’t. They’ll destroy you.”
“Then why did my best friend invite them in Misha? Why would you do that?”
Misha blows out a breath. This time when he speaks it is contrite, pleading, “I had to give them some reason to let me come here. I saw what your Pa did, and you needed help Jared, you have to know you did. Padalecki Inc. is your rightful inheritance. You were the only one who truly deserved it and I’m right, you’re good at it. If I hadn’t been here, you would have let it defeat you. Turned it in, gone back to your pokey little gallery.”
“I loved my gallery.” Jared raises his voice in angry retort, there’s a part of him that still burns at the loss of his old life.
“Maybe, but it was small time, small business, not worthy of you.” Frustration is evident in Misha’s tone.
Jared leans in until he’s speaking, only inches from Misha’s face and speaks passionately, “I was happy!”
“Here you’re successful and in control.”
“Maybe I am successful, but to retain control of Padalecki Inc. I have to pretend to be somebody else. I can never relax and I’m not happy to be that way. You are supposed to be my friend. I thought you knew me enough to know that.”
“I know you better than you know yourself, Jay. Everybody wants to be the winner, the top dog.”
“Winning in business isn’t the same as succeeding in life, Misha.” There isn’t anger in Jared’s statement, instead it is full of pity. “So why bring dirty money with you? Why risk taking me down and sending us to jail?”
Misha looks small and broken, “You don’t say no to these people. Collins didn’t have the golden touch that Padalecki had. We were in debt years before I finished college and my father would have lost the entire business. He asked for help and we got it all, money, development and success but it came at a price. We have been laundering money for years and I have made that possible. I had to. Otherwise people die or disappear, their families have accidents. You don’t understand. They don’t ever let you go. You needed help and the only way they would let me move to this business was at a price. It’s not much. Not really. I couldn’t let Jeff destroy you the way your Pa did. Jeff will never stop hurting you. You know that, don’t you? It’s why Linden should have been so perfect. The dispute was ended, Ackles should have been dead before you ever noticed his existence and Jeff would go to jail, unable to touch you or take Padalecki Inc. from you.”
Jared puts out a hand to lean on the table, the latest truth has him unbalanced and dizzy. “I’m not a child any more. I grew up. I have my own hopes and dreams. I can stand on my own two feet. I’m an artist. I want to try for a life with Jensen, one that isn’t about power or business or money. That is my ambition. I don’t need you to keep ambitions for me, Misha. Where did your own hopes and dreams go?”
“My future was decided the day my father made his deal.”
Jared shakes his head, “You’re wrong.”
There is an all-pervading silence. Jeff is looking at Jared with surprise and some other, unnameable emotion, and then at Misha with incredible sadness.
Misha begs, directly to Jared, “What are you going to do with me Jared? You can’t kill me. You couldn’t. I know you.”
“We won’t need to Misha. There are others who will do that for us. Tell me something though. What will I say to Alona when you’re gone? Did you ever care for her, or were you with her for access to my life, my business and my keys?”
For the first time genuine tears pool and drip from Misha’s ocean-blue eyes and Jared can see his regret for the loss of what could have been. He doesn’t need to hear the answer. He walks through the door, leaving Jim, Jeff and Ash to do their work. He will watch the monitor and listen to the audio but he cannot stay in the same space as this stranger.
Jim takes over efficiently, “This is how it is going to work sunshine. You see those freshly revised accounts? Well, the Padalecki server is down and will stay offline for as long as I tell Ash to leave it that way. I am taking a hot guess, but I would say that once the server goes live, it is only a matter of hours before somebody notices their money is missing. You tell us what we need to know, to put every little thing right, and for every new piece of information, I will tell Ash to leave the server off-line for another hour. Give me the names of your acquaintances and leverage to keep them away and I’ll get you more time on top of that. If you are co-operative, and very, very, lucky, then you might get a head start to find somewhere to duck your head.”
Misha sneers at him, “It’s Padalecki they’ll come after.”
“Oh! We don’t think so. It seems you kept your dirty money a dirty secret.” Misha opens his mouth to argue but closes it, without speaking as Ash toggles another page onto the screen. Jim continues, “There is only one person at Padalecki who could have worked this scam,” Ash scrolls through some more documents and then shows Misha another screen, “It would be the person who has access to the Antiguan Bank Account that all the money was diverted into. It was ideal. Apparently, you stole from your crooked acquaintances and you stole from Padalecki Incorporated. Bravo. You’re a master criminal,” Jim claps slowly.
“Oh, God! That’s not possible. You’re bluffing. Where? How did you find that?”
“The documentation was in your filing cabinet, and your home is not as secure as you would hope. Does it matter? You won’t be returning there. Misha, you can go anywhere. You are an extremely rich man. That is, assuming you can get to the money before your associates.”
“I can’t. I have no idea how I would run.”
“Better start thinking about it, boy!” Jim mocks him and the horror on Misha’s face is undeniable. Jeff looks devastated. He leaves the room to search out Jared.
The brothers stand together, miles apart, in the room that adjoins Jim’s temporary interrogation chamber.
Jeff speaks quietly. He looks as if he may break, “I didn’t know how much it meant to you, your gallery and your art. I should have left you out of the business.”
“Pa would have pulled me back whatever the case. Every time he threatened to deny my inheritance, I rolled over. He did it to get me out of art school and into ‘proper’ education, and if I’d been less of a wimp he might not have done it again. Maybe I needed all of this to learn who I need to be. It hasn’t been a complete bust, I found Jen. Promise me something though,”
“What?”
“Whatever the outcome for the business at the two year marker, I will stay to smooth transitions, then I will walk away and you will find somebody new to head up Padalecki Inc. I know someone who will be incredible for the job.” Jared pokes Jeff in the chest with his forefinger.
“You know it doesn’t matter what the result is at that meeting. You won’t go away with nothing. I’m your brother, not a complete douche.” Jeff looks at the floor and scuffs his foot in the plaster dust, “Actually, scratch that, I am a douche. I caused some of this mess. Misha is right.”
Jared knits his brow, “How? What is Misha right about?”
“I always get angry, I always hurt you. I am doing what Pa did to you and I say I’m sorry. I promise it’s the last time and then I do it again,” Jeff bites at his lip and fiddles with the keys in his pocket. “I did it to Lacey. She didn’t like being humiliated with the public news of my affair, but she’s happy I’m gone. I have to stop it. I have to get help.”
Jensen doesn’t notice Jared arriving home that night. He drifts in his own world. Christian tells Jared to give him time and settles in to sleep on the couch. Sadie has had the muzzle removed and the drugs are out of her bloodstream but she shies at every sound and wraps herself tight around Jensen’s legs.
Jeff and Jared move like satellites around each other, never touching and barely looking at each other.
Jensen waits for the ebony, star-shine and moon and lists numbers in his head. There are vivid, hot colors of fire, clashing colors of pain and blood, blackened colors of violence and deceit. There are other numbers too; the soothing colors of Jared’s paintings, cheerful IKEA drapes and sparkling Venetian-glass vases. There are colors, without numerical definition; Jared’s changeable multi-hued eyes, his dimples and the silky brown shimmer of his unruly hair. He thinks he loves those colors best. He has an underlying awareness that he is safe. Familiar voices float past him and he has a warm drink. He still waits for the night and for sleep to come.
Night is a reset button and when day comes, Jensen’s world returns. When the sun comes up Jensen is ready to make a new plan with Jared.
By 7:00 a.m. the next Monday, Jensen’s body cuts through cool, chlorinated water. His strokes are smooth and even, his pace never alters and there’s no suggestion of breathlessness. He swims exactly twenty lengths, climbs the ladder and exits.
At 7:25 a.m. Jensen leaves the changing room, with his head bowed, walks through the corridor, until he reaches the glass door of the gym. He looks up and sideways to where a giant of a man with shaggy brunette hair runs on a treadmill. He has his back to the entrance and is singing enthusiastically but tunelessly to his iPOD. Jensen watches Jared with pride. He moves in to plant a brief, dry kiss on his lips and walks out, leaving him with a surprised smile and increased pace.
Jensen says, “Hi,” to a startled Chad. He shines the sinks of the men’s room and empties the trash for him. Jared joins him after, and they walk through the bus station. Jensen picks up fifty cents which he tosses into a busker’s cap, and Sadie scarfs up a squashed egg sandwich from the floor.
When they finally make it to his spot, at eight on the civic clock, Jensen’s heart pulses steady. He grabs Jared around his waist and pulls him close for a deep, wet and noisy kiss before letting him go. There’s a smatter of applause from Kim and Alona who happen to be arriving at the same time. He places a blanket on the grass for Sadie, sets up his easel and palette and watches his boyfriend as Jared climbs the steps, smiles at the doorman and lets the door close gently behind himself. The sun catches the glint of shiny letters above a busy city street; Padalecki Incorporated.
Sophia is delighted to see Jensen and Jared at lunchtime. They go to the greasy spoon and Jensen teaches them to swear in sign language before Sophia gets Jensen to practise speaking the word “fuck”.
Jared leaves work at 5:30 p.m. When he gets home Jensen is sitting ready with his journal to make a new plan. Jared’s bedroom is almost unrecognizable. Bright drapes hang in a rainbow over his bedroom windows and rag rugs are strewn on the floor. Sadie’s cushion is by the side of Jared’s huge bed and Jen’s clothes are in the closet. In the rest of the house the IKEA bed has been dismantled and the studio has reverted to a place for canvases, paints and inks. Christian has left a message on Jared’s phone, “Dude. Jen’s got plans for you tonight and I ain’t sticking around for that.”
On Thursday, Jared takes the coffee from Alona’s hand and carefully places it on the desk. He drags a box of tissues to the corner of the desk and supports her until she is sitting.
“I’m so sorry, Al.”
Her eyes are brimming with tears, her nose is red and blotchy, her chest is beginning to heave and she’s making little squeaking noises as she begins to break down.
“What did you do?” She shoves at him as she shouts, “It’s always you and your poison.”
“I didn’t. There was nothing anyone could do.”
She’s trying to absorb the news report but all she can see are the words plane crash, explosion, fireball and no survivors. She can’t imagine the fear, the heat and the pain that Misha must have suffered but it doesn’t stop her mind from dwelling on it. She’s sobbing, fat tears rolling over pale cheeks and it almost escapes her attention that Jared’s cheeks are wet too. “I don’t understand. He never said he was going. Why would he go to the Caribbean without telling me?”
“I don’t have the answers Al, he was working hard. He needed a rest, some time to think.”
“What do I do?” Alona looks lost.
“You should take some time. We can cope here.”
She wails, a ghastly, grieving sound, “Time to do what? I have no-one to share it with. What do I do? Feed his fish?” she babbles, “They’ll be hungry. He won’t want his fish to starve. There’s food in the kitchen, I can do that, can’t I?”
“Go, feed his fish. Have you got someone we can contact, your sister or your mother?”
“My sister.”
Jared puts strong warm arms around her and pulls her into a hug. She bunches her hands into his jacket and cries into his shirt, leaving a large dark patch, while his tears drip on the top of her head. “He’s gone,” she says in a weak, disbelieving voice.
“He’s gone. I’m sorry, Al.”
Alona thinks her heart will never mend.
The week after Misha’s death a scandal breaks on the local news. Two police officers and a forensics expert are arrested on suspicion of evidence tampering. All the cases they were working on are dismissed, including the Linden arson investigation. Detective Pearson visits to deliver the news with an informal apology. Jeff moves out of Jared’s house and Jared calls it home for the first time in years, or maybe home is Jen who becomes a quiet presence there.
There is a memorial service for Misha and there is no casket. The shattered pieces of plane sank to the bottom of a shark infested ocean and there was nothing of Misha to find. A parent should not have to grieve the loss of their child, Mr. and Mrs. Collins cry and thank Misha’s friends for coming. They reserve a special handshake for Jared and he cannot hide from the flash of suspicion in their eyes.
When year end results are published for Padalecki Inc. there is a marginal profit and a strong market position. There is no champagne. Instead, the moment is marked with donations to the local shelter for the homeless and Jared is pictured cheerfully manning the soup van with Chris and Katie. For once it isn’t a publicity gimmick.
For the press there are rumors of a regular boyfriend in Jared Padalecki’s life and it is newsworthy for a while. The man is tall, handsome and photogenic, with gorgeous green eyes, and they make a beautiful couple. There are some rags to riches stories printed until a serious journalist crushes the romantic notions of countless schoolgirls. The journalist for The Pink Blaze reveals that the couple lived in the same town went to school together and, in actual fact, Jensen is wealthy in his own right. If she glossed over any details then that is offset by Jared’s donation to her favorite charity and a promise that there will be a wedding for her to attend. Jensen remains generally unaware of the media frenzy, even before it dies down to a manageable level.
Epilogue (Part 24)
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