HOUSE OF BROKEN SOULS Part 12
Warnings: This Chapter: None. Overall: Slash, sexually explicit content, graphic violence
The fiction includes a mental illness storyline. I am not qualified in mental health, everything I know about it is googled. It's fantasy folks, please don't shoot me though helpful criticism is always welcomed.
*Not real. The folks aren't mine. No damage intended.
Pulling Back
Jared woke to Sadie’s insistent whimper. He cracked open one eye and gazed at her wearily. “What do you want girl?” She snickered in high pitch doggy joy and her entire body wagged with her tail. She didn’t leap on his lap in her usual dizzy display of affection and it took a moment for the architect to realize that her space was occupied by a sleeping Jensen, arms and legs tangled with his own.
He yawned and lifted Jensen's limbs carefully, unwilling to wake him yet. He stared at the older man’s relaxed face, taking in his strong jawline, peppered with stubble that hadn’t been shaved since Saturday morning. His freckles stood out on smooth creamy skin and Jared wanted to trace his fingers over them, count them one by one till he reached those plump, pink, heart shaped lips. Jensen’s hair was mussed and Jared wondered if that was what it would look like after sex.
“God Padalecki! Get a grip.”
He stood and stretched and Harley padded to heel. “Hey boy. You two hungry? C’mon then but ssshhh don’t wake Sleeping Beauty.” For once he didn’t wind his babies up and they followed him quietly till their paws were clicking on the cold kitchen floor, anticipating their evening meal.
Jared spooned the meat from a can and let the dogs dig in enthusiastically. He leaned with his back against the counter which afforded him a view of Jensen sprawled on his sofa. The scene was homey. When he thought back through the day, the whole thing felt intimate and oddly domestic, which was crazy because they barely knew each other.
What he did know was that Jensen had cried about a love he was still mourning. He understood a band of gold that hadn’t been removed, tears for a cold dark grave and flowers which didn’t express what couldn’t be voiced.
Jared felt a familiar grip of hunger for companionship, a life that he didn’t deserve and couldn’t sustain. He let himself stare at the beautiful man in his home and commit to memory what he knew he had to push away. Then he gathered his resolve and let his heart break, spilling poisonous shards that sliced into his soul.
The time on the kitchen clock was 9pm. Jared considered his dogs, realizing they needed to be taken out. He switched off the TV, padded into his bedroom and changed into running gear. He wrote a short note and left it on the coffee table for Jensen to see when he woke. Pausing for a moment, he grabbed a woollen throw from the other couch and arranged it over Jensen, tucking it delicately under his chin. He let his fingers linger on the stubble-roughened jaw for a moment longer than was strictly necessary before turning his telephone to the loudest setting and placing it beside Jensen. He gathered his babies to heel and left his apartment.
The pace that Jared set for his run was punishing and the distance farther than normal. Harley and Sadie were starting to tire as Jared rounded the far, dark edge of the park. He slowed and leaned over to fuss his dogs, clutching at the stitch in his side and breathing heavily. In the corner of his vision he noted shadowy figures gathered by the nearby public toilets, a bright orange light flared briefly, momentarily lighting an angular male face before fading into the round red glow of burning tobacco.
Jared straightened, taking in the sight of a ragged, weather-beaten man on a bench. He whistled his dogs back to heel and ran on, across the road and down an alley where an all night fast-food van spilled a warm, hazy light over the sidewalk.
Jared returned to the bench carrying two coffees and hotdogs. The ragged man shifted over and lifted his blanket-roll to make a space. The tall man sat heavily and proffered a coffee and hotdog to the homeless man before speaking.
“Hey, Hal.”
Sadie and Harley collapsed in relief pushing wet noses onto first Jared, then Hal’s lap, until they were rewarded with the comforting rub of their ears and heads from a weather-worn and calloused hand.
Hal warmed the other gnarled brown hand on the cup and blew tendrils of curling steam away from the froth. His brow wrinkled slightly over pale blue eyes, his expression one of friendly concern.
“Jay. It’s been a while.”
“A year, give or take.”
“I thought you must have fallen in love and settled down.”
“Yeah, me too Hal.” He cracked a broken grin at the old man next to him.
“I guessed you still took mustard on your dogs.” He handed his own hotdog to the man by his side. “Here, I’m not as hungry as I thought and I’ve a call to make.”
Jared dialed the number three times, letting it click into answer-phone each time before hanging up without leaving a message.
“Wake-up call.” He said to the clearly puzzled Hal who was chewing steadily on the food he ‘d been given.
Hal sipped his coffee slowly, exchanging small talk and local gossip with the younger man. He watched as Jared flicked his eyes over to the movement and quiet murmurs in the shadows.
“You want me to hold on to your babies for you?”
“Would you do that for me?”
“I always did Lad, didn’t I?”
“But you never approved.”
“It’s never been for me to judge you Lad. I done some pretty stupid things in my life too.” He grinned toothless and genuine at the young man. “You gonna be safe?”
“Always”
“You want to leave your phone too? Give you twenty minutes?”
“What would I do without you Hal?” Jared said humorlessly before telling his dogs to “stay” then bowing his head and disappearing into the shadows.
Hal shook his head and took up vigil with Harley and Sadie.
***
Jensen woke to the sound of a phone ringing loudly and Jared’s recorded voice asking the caller to leave a message. He was alone on Jared’s couch with a woolen throw tucked neatly over him. S oft lamplight illuminated the room. He felt warm and safe and would have returned to sleep if the phone hadn’t rung twice more, message clicking in twice more. Damn he hated phones.
“Jay!” he called but the apartment was eerily quiet.
He pushed himself to sit up, which is when he saw the note on the coffee table.
Jensen
I didn’t want to wake the sleeping beauty but I have a date tonight. I’ve taken the mutts with me. I’ll be getting back real late so don’t worry about waiting up. You can close the door as you leave, I have my keys and it’s self-locking. Help yourself to anything in my fridge if you need it.
Jared
Jensen was glad that Jared wasn’t there to see his reaction because he couldn’t pretend that the written words hadn’t stung. A date. Jared hadn’t mentioned a boyfriend, had seemed just as eager as himself when they kissed but Jensen knew that he had initiated the contact. He didn’t know why he expected any more from Jay, he barely knew him.
The note was clear and put him in his place. It had been a good day and now he was dismissed as casually as a babysitter or maid. He eased himself to his feet and made his way back to his own bed on the second floor.
Continued in Part 13 here: anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com/4761.html