Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Evil Mind (Part II)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Evil Mind
(Part II)
2. There was the woman. I think that was her name, actually...
The Woman was waiting for him when he opened the door to his office.
"Mr. Moriarty!" she greeted. "How nice to finally meet you face to face."
Jim stared, but only for a moment. He felt a tantrum trying to escape his body because that bitch had broken into his personal office, but the relief of not having to remember who the hell she was kept it down.
When she offered him her hand, he did not take it.
"Who are you?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you'd recognize my voice. I'm Irene Adler. I'm here to talk business."
"Meaning?"
Her smile was pure victory. "I got another one."
Jim's eyebrows raised slightly. She must have thought he was impressed, because her smile did not faulter. But, truly, he had no idea what she was talking about. However, that Adler woman had broken into his office seemingly unarmed without getting caught just to bring it to his attention. It had to be something important.
"Sorry for breaking in," Adler said, not looking sorry at all. In fact, rubbing it in just seemed to make the whole thing more enjoyable.
"Yes. I usually shoot people that do that."
"Oh, but you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Or else, how would you get in?"
Get... in?
"Right," he nodded and told her to take a seat at his desk.
She sat down across from him, placed her cellphone on the top and kept her handbag close. Jim placed his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers, waiting for her to make the first move.
After five minutes, she had said nothing.
After seven, he realized she was also waiting for him to make the first move.
At twenty two, things got uncomfortable - for Jim, that is, Ms. Adler was still sitting there, quiet and beautiful.
He decided to give her a gentle nudge. "So."
"So."
Oh, c'mon!! Just say something! Anything!
"I believe we have business."
"Yes, we do."
Just give me a bloody clue, woman!!
"So... we should probably... start talking... you know."
She nodded. "Figures, yes."
"Figures!" Jim slammed his hand on the desk and got up, ready to do the happy dance. "Yes! Because you're here for the money!"
For the first time in those painful thirty minutes her smile faded and she looked at Jim Moriarty as if he was not only the dangerous madman everybody knew him to be, but also an eccentric criminal mind with outbursts of glee.
Jim sat down and assumed a dead serious look, hoping that would save his reputation. "I just love a good transaction, that's all."
It took Ms. Adler a moment to recover, but her lie was smooth, "That's fine." She reached out for his arm, reassuring. "It's the only copy, of course."
"Oh... Good."
"It is password protected."
"Oh... Good. You know, I should probably take a look at it."
"Be my guest."
She made no moves for her handbag.
"So... Can you hand it to me?"
Irene blinked. Slid her cellphone across the table with one finger. Jim stared down at it. "I got to call your people?"
She shook her head, "No, it's the same as last time."
"Right... Uhn..." He took the cellphone. Examined it. The screen said:
I AM
_ _ _ _
ARTY
"Right... So... Should I call... Arty?"
Irene Adler, who had been very patient to that very moment, did not move for a few seconds. Then, with a voice that was trying hard not to let her anger show, she asked, "Mr. Moriarty, are you sure you remember who I am?"
Moriarty blustered, trying to cover his confusion. "Pff! Sure! You've done some criminal consulting in the past. You are a professional criminal-"
"I'm a professional dominatrix!" she snapped.
Jim felt his eyes pop wide.
"Wow. Now I am really worried about what our previous connection might have been like."
She got up. "You have no idea what I am here for, do you?"
"It... has something to do with this phone."
She reached out her hand, "May I have it back, please?"
"No!"
"You don't know what it's for!"
"I don't care! It's important and I want it!" Jim shouted, hugging the phone to his chest.
What did they say, the normal people? Hell knows no wrath like a woman scorned? Yeah, Jimmy was about to believe them because the anger on Irene Adler's eyes could cut through glass. Still, she moved very slowly, reaching out for her purse, where she had probably concealed a handgun.
That made Jim rolled his eyes. It had been so interesting up to that point. "Please, you are so dull-"
She came up with a riding crop. Held it with both hands.
He did not waste time trying to understand how could a woman fit a riding crop into a handbag; he just rushed for the big, red panic button on the other side of the room. He knew he should have decorated the office with more care.
She hit the edge of the desk. He stood back.
"Down boy!"
"Okay, okay, okay!"
"Give it to me now!"
"Listen, we can still negotiate-"
"No!"
"C'mon!" He asked, working on his most sweet look. "I know this is important to you. I know how hard you worked for it. You even had to wear this horible 1940s wig to get the information on this phone."
She did not reply.
"That's your real hair, isn't it?"
She got ready to swing.
He put down the camera phone and stepped back slowly with his hands up in the air. When Sebastian walked in with the Monthly Reports of Evilness, she has already shoved it back into her handbag.
Sebastian stared at Irene Adler, then at Jim (though it looked like he was trying to merge into the wall) and then at the riding crop. "... Whattup?"
Adler ignored him. "It took me five years to collect the information I have on this phone! The terrorist plans, the dirt on politician and celebrities! The pornographic material on the Royal Family!"
"Which one?"
"All of them!! I have never been treated with such disrespect, Mr. Moriarty. Rest assured I will be using the suggestion box on my way out."
Then, she turned on her heels and was gone from his office.
Sebastian asked, "Do you want me to kill-"
"Oh, God, no! No! Let her go! Let her go and help me move that panic button closer to my desk!"
(Part III)
Coming Soon
(Part II)
2. There was the woman. I think that was her name, actually...
The Woman was waiting for him when he opened the door to his office.
"Mr. Moriarty!" she greeted. "How nice to finally meet you face to face."
Jim stared, but only for a moment. He felt a tantrum trying to escape his body because that bitch had broken into his personal office, but the relief of not having to remember who the hell she was kept it down.
When she offered him her hand, he did not take it.
"Who are you?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you'd recognize my voice. I'm Irene Adler. I'm here to talk business."
"Meaning?"
Her smile was pure victory. "I got another one."
Jim's eyebrows raised slightly. She must have thought he was impressed, because her smile did not faulter. But, truly, he had no idea what she was talking about. However, that Adler woman had broken into his office seemingly unarmed without getting caught just to bring it to his attention. It had to be something important.
"Sorry for breaking in," Adler said, not looking sorry at all. In fact, rubbing it in just seemed to make the whole thing more enjoyable.
"Yes. I usually shoot people that do that."
"Oh, but you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Or else, how would you get in?"
Get... in?
"Right," he nodded and told her to take a seat at his desk.
She sat down across from him, placed her cellphone on the top and kept her handbag close. Jim placed his elbows on the desk and laced his fingers, waiting for her to make the first move.
After five minutes, she had said nothing.
After seven, he realized she was also waiting for him to make the first move.
At twenty two, things got uncomfortable - for Jim, that is, Ms. Adler was still sitting there, quiet and beautiful.
He decided to give her a gentle nudge. "So."
"So."
Oh, c'mon!! Just say something! Anything!
"I believe we have business."
"Yes, we do."
Just give me a bloody clue, woman!!
"So... we should probably... start talking... you know."
She nodded. "Figures, yes."
"Figures!" Jim slammed his hand on the desk and got up, ready to do the happy dance. "Yes! Because you're here for the money!"
For the first time in those painful thirty minutes her smile faded and she looked at Jim Moriarty as if he was not only the dangerous madman everybody knew him to be, but also an eccentric criminal mind with outbursts of glee.
Jim sat down and assumed a dead serious look, hoping that would save his reputation. "I just love a good transaction, that's all."
It took Ms. Adler a moment to recover, but her lie was smooth, "That's fine." She reached out for his arm, reassuring. "It's the only copy, of course."
"Oh... Good."
"It is password protected."
"Oh... Good. You know, I should probably take a look at it."
"Be my guest."
She made no moves for her handbag.
"So... Can you hand it to me?"
Irene blinked. Slid her cellphone across the table with one finger. Jim stared down at it. "I got to call your people?"
She shook her head, "No, it's the same as last time."
"Right... Uhn..." He took the cellphone. Examined it. The screen said:
I AM
_ _ _ _
ARTY
"Right... So... Should I call... Arty?"
Irene Adler, who had been very patient to that very moment, did not move for a few seconds. Then, with a voice that was trying hard not to let her anger show, she asked, "Mr. Moriarty, are you sure you remember who I am?"
Moriarty blustered, trying to cover his confusion. "Pff! Sure! You've done some criminal consulting in the past. You are a professional criminal-"
"I'm a professional dominatrix!" she snapped.
Jim felt his eyes pop wide.
"Wow. Now I am really worried about what our previous connection might have been like."
She got up. "You have no idea what I am here for, do you?"
"It... has something to do with this phone."
She reached out her hand, "May I have it back, please?"
"No!"
"You don't know what it's for!"
"I don't care! It's important and I want it!" Jim shouted, hugging the phone to his chest.
What did they say, the normal people? Hell knows no wrath like a woman scorned? Yeah, Jimmy was about to believe them because the anger on Irene Adler's eyes could cut through glass. Still, she moved very slowly, reaching out for her purse, where she had probably concealed a handgun.
That made Jim rolled his eyes. It had been so interesting up to that point. "Please, you are so dull-"
She came up with a riding crop. Held it with both hands.
He did not waste time trying to understand how could a woman fit a riding crop into a handbag; he just rushed for the big, red panic button on the other side of the room. He knew he should have decorated the office with more care.
She hit the edge of the desk. He stood back.
"Down boy!"
"Okay, okay, okay!"
"Give it to me now!"
"Listen, we can still negotiate-"
"No!"
"C'mon!" He asked, working on his most sweet look. "I know this is important to you. I know how hard you worked for it. You even had to wear this horible 1940s wig to get the information on this phone."
She did not reply.
"That's your real hair, isn't it?"
She got ready to swing.
He put down the camera phone and stepped back slowly with his hands up in the air. When Sebastian walked in with the Monthly Reports of Evilness, she has already shoved it back into her handbag.
Sebastian stared at Irene Adler, then at Jim (though it looked like he was trying to merge into the wall) and then at the riding crop. "... Whattup?"
Adler ignored him. "It took me five years to collect the information I have on this phone! The terrorist plans, the dirt on politician and celebrities! The pornographic material on the Royal Family!"
"Which one?"
"All of them!! I have never been treated with such disrespect, Mr. Moriarty. Rest assured I will be using the suggestion box on my way out."
Then, she turned on her heels and was gone from his office.
Sebastian asked, "Do you want me to kill-"
"Oh, God, no! No! Let her go! Let her go and help me move that panic button closer to my desk!"
(Part III)
Coming Soon