Comments | anniewaits: This week in 24

anniewaits

This week in 24

May 24, 2006 08:50

This week in 24, Jack made up for the puss-ery of the entire season in the first 20 minutes by being extremely lethal - with AWESOME consequences. He stabbed a terrorist in the neck, shot another, took a wrench to the face TWICE, snapped Bierko's neck WITH HIS CALVES, and shot RoboCop. All this while teaching a young Naval engineer Padawan how to ( Read more... )

jack bauer

Comments 17

anonymous May 24 2006, 14:27:17 UTC

I think now would be the perfect time for you to start a contest speculating about what will happen next season.

I say they start the season in China and Jack escapes to immediately head for the US, which would probably eat up about 14-18 of the episodes next year.

-Fitz

anonymous May 24 2006, 14:37:32 UTC

No way Jack is "escaping." He's good. He ain't God.

I'll bet that Logan or Crazy Blue Tooth guy ratted Jack out to the Chinese and they're going to have to drop the charges or something ridiculous like that to get the information from him. Then Audrey and her dad then organize a task force to get him out.

Chloe and her wacko ex hubby will run point on the computer wizardry while Curtis (WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GO AND BLUE TOOTH GUY GO?) goes in and does some mass killing of the Chinese.

Kim comes back because Audrey tells her that her dad has been kidnapped, so NOW she's all, "I miss him" and shit. Crazy shrink boy goes bye bye because he can't deal with her whining. I'll deal with it Kim, I'll deal with it.

Also, Buchanon and Karen Hayes do it like rabbits. Didn't I call that about 10-15 episodes ago!? I knew they were totally hooking up at some point.

anniewaits May 24 2006, 14:45:11 UTC

Yeah, where the fuck WAS Curtis? Like, in that submarine, it was Jack, RoboCop, and random dude who held a mirror and got shot. Kind of looked like Crispin Glover. WHERE WAS CURTIS?

anonymous May 24 2006, 14:30:12 UTC

The padawon came up in time to see Jack murder Robocop right before he told CTU that he was accidentally killed in the crossfire. Nothing came of that though.

As for the 4-minute sex scene, that's generous. I have it clocked at around 36.85 seconds. Bill Simmons over on espn.com called President Douchenuts a premature ejaculator...high comedy.

-CAP

anniewaits May 24 2006, 14:31:53 UTC

THAAAAT'S RIGHT, and Jack Bauer gave him a look of "THAT'S HOW I ROLL, SON"

by the way, when are you going to announce me as the winner of your blog naming contest?

anonymous May 24 2006, 14:38:22 UTC

already did. Have you not been to my blog in the past 18 hours?

anniewaits May 24 2006, 14:43:33 UTC

Oops.

Thread 5

anonymous May 24 2006, 15:19:08 UTC

Great review as always. I can't believe we have to wait until freaking January. Guess I'll have to actually do something productive :-)

As for my prediction, Jack Bower will escape while the boat is in the middle of the ocean. He will then proceed to part the sea and walk back to the US just to prove the anonymous person on the Fnur Fnur blog that said "he ain't God" wrong.

Ah, good times.

-Shaffer

anonymous May 24 2006, 15:23:49 UTC

Why bother parting the sea, when he can just walk across it?

-Fitz

anonymous May 24 2006, 15:28:46 UTC

Sorry, that was CAP that said he ain't God.

Freakin Live Journal!

rjcolewinery May 24 2006, 15:56:59 UTC

Would Palmer go to the great AllState in the sky after turning his back on Jobu? That's the question that will have thoelogians scratching their heads for a long time.

24 the Movie anonymous May 24 2006, 16:22:23 UTC

I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors of 24 the movie. I think the end of this season could be the lead in to a movie, where Jack goes, how he escapes and goes on JIHAD! against blue-tooth guy and Kim's TheRapist. I'd rather see that as a movie than a season anyway, as it would feel like Prison Break:24.

I imagine they could get a movie done and out in time for the holiday season, if they already had a script and Keifer on board.

-E

Re: 24 the Movie anonymous May 24 2006, 16:36:27 UTC

Interesting thought. He pretty much confirmed they were doing a movie on some late night show I was watching so that would definitely get people to go if the movie intertwined with the series.

You a fan of Arrested Development by the way? Just curious with your theRapist comment.

-shaffer

Re: 24 the Movie anonymous May 24 2006, 16:49:12 UTC

I never really got behind Arrested Development. If they used it, they stole it from where I stole it from: an old SNL Jeopardy skit where the category was "THERAPISTS" and Darrly Hammond playing Sean Connery said "I'll take The Rapists for 200."

-E

Re: 24 the Movie anonymous May 24 2006, 17:19:32 UTC

Ahhhh, you are right. This was why it made me think of arrested development:
[Formerly an "analrapist," the world's first combination analyst and therapist, Tobias has more recently embarked on an acting career -- or at least, he is attempting one.]

You should try netflixing the first season of AD. I think it is one of the most underappreciated, well written shows in recent TV.

Thread 5