Uhm. Yeah.
IF YOU CAN SAY YES TO ONE OF THE SIGNS BELOW, THEN YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED AND YOU AND YOUR HOME NEED DELIVERANCE , THE CASTING OUT OF DEMONS [Cast those day-mons outta me, lawd!]
1. Flies appear from nowhere when doors and windows are closed, especially in the winter when they are not suppose to be there. [Unless, of course, you’ve left out some food. Or a stinky litter box.]
2. Hearing voices, someone calling your name. children complain of hearing a man's , women's or childrens voices. [Schizophrenia maybe? Or maybe it’s just your housemate calling to you from another room?]
3. You can see something pass you at the corner of your eye. [An errant animal perhaps?]
4. smell of roses, perfume, or any smell that doesn't belong in your home. [Okay. I’ll give them this one. The smell of roses doesn’t belong in my house. Dirty dog, however, does.]
5. Apports or Exports - objects appearing or your belongings disappear. [Oh hell. My house is haunted. Wait, no … it’s possessed. By day-mons! No. Wait. It’s just early onset Alzheimers. Phew.]
6. Cold spots or winds in certain areas of the haunted places [Well, I don’t know if they are haunted, or not, but I do know that but when I walk past the sliding door, I always get a chill. That could be from ghosts, or DAY-MONS!, or it’s because I need to reseal my windows.]
7. Things fall when you leave a room. especially when you go to bed. [Damn those pesky errant animals!]
8 Television, radio, coffeemakers, lights turn on by themsleves and lights flicker making you think that you need to replace light bulps [Wow. You mean, it WASN’T faulty wiring? Next time, screw calling an electrician. I’m calling an exorcist!]
9. You can feel someone watching you or feel someone follow you around the house. [Like, oh I dunno, a scheming child? Maybe?]
10. Static on the phone especially when you talk the spirits that are haunting you home, hotel or haunted place. [But no … it could never, EVER, be a crappy phone.]
11. The room is rarranged or something is in a different position then when you left it. For example if you closed a door , it may be open when you return. Immediately say God in the Name of Jesus Christ please protect me I bind you and cast you out in the Name of Jesus Christ. Repeat several times. You must start studying the King James Bible and practice it. That takes time so don't worry. You can stay at home to study your bible. Try to find a church that cast out demons and believes that Christians can have demons. [I have had this happen. And I admit that, for a while, I thought my house may have been possessed or haunted. Then I realized it was just very tricksy cats along with ADD housemates who would randomly re-organize or just move shit.]
16. You receive visions of people that have died. [*whispers* I see dead people.]
18 Family members get hot and cold flashes , have pain, headaches, brusies on the body. [Menopause. The bruises come from the family members beating their bitchy ass.]
19. Family are in many accidents. Many accidents will occur outside your home as well. [The stairs! They are possessed! I am so glad to know that I am stalked by Satan and am not, in fact, just a clumsy ass.]
20 Family members change the attitude. (don't blame them for this) [Okay. I will call this … puberty.]
21 Fighting and divorce . (In the case of a haunting the spirits will cause fight among people who use to get along. ) [I will plead the 5th on this.]
23. Depression, cancer or death in the family where the haunting is taking place or has taken place with past residents. [Because CANCER isn’t biological … no. It’s those pesky DAY-MONS!]
24. When pictures are taken you can see orbs, streams of light or what appears to be a person . [Maybe set your ISO to 100 or 200?]
26. You receive information in your head about something when nobody is there. You might think that you thought of the idea. You didn't it's the demons. [Wear tinfoil.]
27. You hear scratching noises. (if this happens , IMMEDIATELY say I bind you and command you to leave in the Name of Jesus Christ) [I will try this the next time the cat is using the litter box. Or pawing at my door.]
…
If your house is haunted you must not only clean the house of the evil spirits you must do daily self deliverance because the spirits will enter you. Their main goal is to enter a human and take control causing them to rebel against God . Go to my website http://www.DeliveranceMinister.com to learn how to do self deliverance. Start with the Basic Deliverance Article. Demons don't come out automatically it takes time for we wrestle againt evil spirits. It could take months or years before they leave so don't give up. Study the King James Bible. Read my other artilces about hauntings
[*THUMP*
That was the sound of my head.
Hitting the wall.
Repeatedly.]