Fic: Observations, Ch 5
“Come in.”
The door slid open to standard issue Starfleet officer quarters. It was surprisingly sparse-the captain had none of the usual sentimental accoutrements that humans generally use to decorate their living spaces. The space was neat and uncluttered. The only modification that the captain introduced was at his desk. There were two computer terminals, one Starfleet issue, and another that seemed to be built by the captain. He was bent over the computer when I entered.
“Just a second.” The captain quickly entered something and then turned his attention to me.
“You desired to speak with me, sir.”
“Yeah.” He looked at me intently for a moment. “Are you really going to challenge me on practically every single decision that I make?”
I stiffened reflexively.
“As your first officer, it is my duty to question your orders if I consider them to be flawed or ill determined.”
“Bullshit.”
The expression on my face must have been that of surprise. After a moment, I regained control of my features. I straightened and stood at attention before him.
“I was not aware that our perceptions of the duties of my office were incompatible. If you would elaborate, captain, on that statement and clarify your meaning.”
“Commander, there’s a difference between constructive, useful, actually helpful criticism, and the shit you’re pulling right now. Right now, all you’re doing is making me look incompetent in front of the crew over insignificant issues. They’re not going to have any confidence in our combined ability to lead if you keep picking a fight.”
“If I may inquire, captain, as to the issues that you deem ‘important.’”
“Not this kind of technical, procedural stuff that they force on us from Starfleet. If you have legitimate concerns about the safety of the crew, the operations of the ship-something that might actually matter, then talk to me about it.”
“Captain, these rules were established so that the safety of the crew and the continuous operation of the ship might be ensured. You insist on taking unnecessary risks for specious reasons. I judge that to be something that ‘matters.’ Additionally, you are the captain of the ship. Your example sets the norms of behavior among the crew-do you wish that they also take liberties with the set protocols? Your own propensity for recklessness encourages the same conduct in others.”
“You think that some sort of snowball effect will happen in the crew because of me?” he asked, as though I was saying something highly illogical.
“I believe that humans call it ‘setting the tone’ on the ship.”
“That’s completely different from what you were talking about. You make it sound like I have some sort of highly contagious virus of illogic, and you’re afraid the whole ship is going to get infected.”
It is unfortunate illogic is not a virus. If it were a virus, there would be hope for a cure.
“Several studies have shown that human actions are highly subject to the perceptions of societal approval. If such actions, regardless of any potential dangers, are perceived as necessary for acceptance among those with status, then the majority will act in that manner.”
The captain frowned and looked as though he was going to ask me to rephrase my statement, as he often does. He seemed to decide against it and took a moment to parse the words.
“So now you think that the crew will take risks left and right because they want my approval?”
“That is an oversimplification of the many facets of human psychology. However, I have noted that you demonstrate an affinity towards those individuals who, like yourself, show an inclination to disregard unfavorable odds.”
“Of course I ‘demonstrate an affinity’ towards people like that-it’s like recognizing your own species. People naturally gravitate towards others who understand them. I mean, if there were another Vulcan on board, then I bet you guys would spend all your time together, right?”
The question was a rhetorical one, but I tensed. The captain took no notice as he continued.
“But I wouldn’t appreciate anyone who gambled on something and ended up destroying the ship.”
The captain ran his hand through his hair in a tired motion. “Spock, you’re trying to apply rigid logic in your analysis of humans, and it’s not going to work. Just because a study says that most people act this way or that way doesn’t meant that all people will. You can’t really predict what a person is going to be like until you’ve actually spent some time with them. Maybe this guy will be a tool, maybe he won’t.
“My point is that I don’t think the crew will suddenly lose all sense of judgment because their captain happens to be a little reckless. And if I’m being unreasonably reckless”-I raised my eyebrows at that contradiction of terms-“that’s why I have you. You’ll call me on any of my bullshit.”
“Then you agree that it is not necessary for you to go with the away team.”
“No, that’s not what I said,” he said, emphasizing each word. “I said that I’m going to take risks, I’m probably going to endanger the ship a bunch, I’m probably going to get us into some messed up shit and fucked up situations. It’s happened for every captain, and given my luck, it’s guaranteed to happen a lot more.
“You, as my first officer, are going to use your logic to balance me out. But you’re also going to pick your battles, because I’m not going to have every single thing I do questioned. I’ll give due consideration to anything you say, but when I give my final orders, I expect them to be carried out to the letter, without hesitation. Is that clear, Commander Spock?”
The captain looked at me expectantly, as though there was nothing else to be said.
“No, captain. You remarked earlier that you would not tolerate anyone who endangered the ship as a result of their actions, yet it is acceptable for you to do so. Is that not hypocritical?”
“Spock. I’m the captain of this ship.”
“I am aware of that fact, sir. That does not give you license to act as you please, nor does it give you the right to impose upon others standards which you yourself will not uphold.”
The captain grew visibly angry and a taut silence settled in the cabin. I thought at first that he had no rebuttal except an outpouring of enraged emotion, but as I observed, resolve gathered behind his eyes.
“There is nothing that I demand from the crew that I wouldn’t do myself.”
“Be that as it may, captain-“
“No, this is exactly the point that I’m trying to make. There is nothing I order anyone to do that I wouldn’t do myself. A commander should know exactly what he’s telling his people to do-what it entails, what it’s like doing that shit, even know all those protocols that you’re so in love with. I’m ordering these men and women down planetside to investigate whatever the fuck it is we’re investigating, and I’m going to be right there beside them because I ordered it. I’m responsible for their lives, I’m responsible for their safety, I’m responsible for a whole bunch of other shit, and I’ll be damned if anything happens to them because I ordered something that I couldn’t even fucking condescend to do myself.”
Fascinating. I had not considered that the captain feels he has something to prove. Having been promoted directly from a Starfleet cadet to ship’s captain, he did not have the opportunity to experience those mundane duties that he feels he ‘demands’ of the crew.
Yet there is something more. Admiral Pike had similar protective attitudes towards his crew. However, he did not take such a deep proprietary interest, as Captain Kirk seems to have done. The admiral maintained a strict emotional distance from all the crew, with the exception of Number One, so that they might regard him only as their leader, not their friend. For the captain, the Enterprise is not merely a matter of duty or obligation. There is something more.
“Did I make myself clear, Commander.”
It was not a question.
“Yes, sir.”
At that moment, the chief medical officer entered the room, oblivious to my presence.
“Hey Jim, I’ve got-oh, it’s you,” he scowled. He turned to the captain. “Want me to come back later?”
“No, Bones, stay. Spock was just leaving.” The captain looked pointedly at the door.
“Indeed. Captain. Dr. McCoy.”
I left the two men. And wondered briefly why I chose to follow the advice of my alternate self.