Fic: Observations, Ch 6
One’s efforts to avoid an individual are useless if that individual actively seeks one out.
It was clear that Dr. McCoy wished to say something to me. I surmised that the content of his speech had a 92% chance of being highly emotional, a 98% chance that inflammatory language would be used, an 84% chance that the subject matter was related to human emotions, and a 99% chance that the subject matter was also related to the captain. With such numbers, it was only prudent that I evade his attempts to engage me in any sort of communication.
The doctor is not unintelligent, however. He comprehended my wishes. Since stubbornness is one of Leonard McCoy’s outstanding traits, he also did not respect my wishes, and instead found some means by which to fulfill his own plans.
Perhaps there is some value to the quality of unpredictability. It was my own regular nature that allowed the doctor to find me alone in the laboratory, in the finishing stages of an experiment and beginning to write my report.
“I thought I’d find you here,” the doctor said, tone studiously neutral.
“If that is so, then you also know that I am currently in the process of completing capillary electrophoresis on these biological samples obtained from Minos. As time is a crucial factor before the samples are degraded by the electroosmostic flow of the buffer solution, it is necessary that you remove yourself from this facility.”
The words came out harsher than I had intended.
“Damnit, Spock, I’ve been trying to talk to you for two days now, but you keep skittering away, finding some convenient excuse or another. Now, I know you’re done, and that the electroosmotic flow probably won’t mess up your samples even if you weren’t. So quit acting like a four year old and just let me talk.”
“You are already talking, Dr. McCoy, and there seems to be nothing I can do to prevent it.”
With his usual bluntness, he immediately revealed his grievance. All four of my probabilities became realities, unsurprisingly.
“You’ve got to stop this stand-off you’re having with Jim. I might not know much about command teams-I’m a doctor, not a general, for god’s sakes. But I know enough that you two aren’t working together. Actually, it’s more like you’ve made it your goddamn personal goal ta needle Jim on every damn decision he makes, and everyone sees it. Hell, half the bridge doesn’t think Jim is competent because of you!”
The doctor has a penchant for exaggeration.
“Doctor, have any of the crew expressed doubts in the captain’s ability to command the Enterprise?”
“Not in words. But it’s there. Christ, Spock, how the hell is Jim supposed to manage four hundred some people when his own first officer won’t listen to him? You two are at each other’s throats all the time on the bridge, and that doesn’t give the crew a hell of a lot of confidence in the capabilities of their command. You marooned Jim when you were captain, and now there’s a pool going to see how long before Jim leaves your pointy ears on some icy rock.”
Strange turns of phrase aside, I had not thought of the likelihood that the other crewmembers may be watching my own conduct towards the captain and identified it as an example of unrepentant insubordination. While serving with Admiral Pike, this, my standard demeanor, was not a problem.
Dr. McCoy mistook my silence as hostility. He seemed to reach a conclusion within himself, and abandoned his attempted reserved tones for more aggressive ones.
“He’s doing the best he can, pulling double shifts, running around like a maniac trying to make sure he gets everything right. You’re supposed to help him with his duties, not make them astronomically harder, damnit. Or if this is about some sadistic convoluted form of Vulcan revenge for emotionally compromising you-“
“You may be assured that I harbor no residual emotions related to the events surrounding the Narada.”
“No residual emotions my ass. That’s what this is about isn’t, it? You know, whenever it comes to Jim, you never make the damn logical choice. What was the point of bringing him up on academic charges? Or marooning him? He just gets under your Vulcan skin and makes your green blood boil, and you just can’t stand that, so you tear him apart with that cold, inhuman, heartless logic-“
“Bones.”
The captain stood in the doorway. The doctor and I had not noticed his presence and did not know how much of the conversation he overheard.
“Bones, Nurse Chapel needs you in Sickbay.”
“What? Damnit, Jim, don’t stick yourself in the middle of this,” Dr. McCoy said, his voice pitched low.
“Bones, I am the middle of this. Nurse Chapel needs you in Sickbay, so go,” the captain replied, stern. Dr. McCoy simply looked at him, equally resolved to stay. “Do want me to make that an order?”
“Captain, my presence is required at a-“
“Spock, you don’t have anything scheduled from 1000 to 1400.”
There are definite advantages to being unpredictable. I do not appreciate my time being commandeered in this manner.
“Bones,” the captain repeated.
“Fine, Jim. See you at lunch.” Dr. McCoy stalked out of the laboratory, muttering angrily as he went.
As soon as the door closed, the captain looked directly at me, his eyes blazing.
“I thought we had an understanding.”
“Understanding and agreeing are two distinct actions, captain. I understood your chain of reasoning, but I never expressed agreement with it.” Before he could make some objection, I asked him, “Is it true, captain, that the crew believes that we are an incompatible command team, unable to operate proficiently?”
The captain frowned and tensed.
“Yeah. You said I set an example for the crew. Well, the same goes for you-for us-Spock.”
“Captain, Dr. McCoy” accused “hypothesized that my actions are borne out of a desire to retaliate against you. He is not correct in his supposition, but such a guess is not without merit. If this is the general impression among the human crew, then I will immediately correct my behavior and adjust for my miscalculation.”
The captain seemed confused as to this change. I deemed it necessary to elaborate.
“I had not accounted for the importance of confidence for human morale among this new, and unusually young, crew. In that context, your requests are eminently reasonable. However, I require some time in order to fully integrate this new paradigm.”
“Hold on a sec. Two minutes ago, you were telling me that you understood but didn’t agree, and now you’re telling me that you actually agree?”
“Affirmative. Dr. McCoy brought to my attention that my current manner is not conducive to the success of this mission.”
“He did?”
The captain looked shocked that the chief medical officer and I could communicate on any level at all. I might have been inclined to classify the occasion as a minor miracle, if I shared the doctor’s predilection for Terran religious references.
“Perceived insubordination and a widespread appraisal that we are an inoperative command team do not promote efficiency. Therefore my actions, while they were logical in other environments, are not logical here, as they produce inefficiency.”
“Wait, what other environments?”
“The environment to which I was referring was my service under Admiral Pike.”
“You mean you were like this to him all the time?”
“Indeed, captain. I fail to understand why you find this amusing.”
“That poor bastard,” the captain laughed, the sound filling the space of the laboratory. “That poor, poor bastard.”
I will have to learn how to ‘pick my battles.’ The captain clearly does not want that I cease my criticism, simply that I exercise greater judgment in selecting those decisions that I challenge. This, however, entails familiarizing myself with the captain’s command style and train of thought, an undertaking that has thus far yielded little fruit.