Fic: Two Summers, 1-18
They can always rely on each other for different things. Bones, Nyota, Sulu, Chris, Pavel, Scotty, Jim-they depend on each other to provide for whatever they themselves are deficient. They’re all finding out now just exactly how much they relied on Spock, and they find that his role in their lives can’t be measured or described in any proper way. He filled a place, and now he’s gone. Jim has no doubt that he played some very special parts in each of their lives. Jim has no doubt because of Spock’s presence in his own life.
They rely on Scotty to make them laugh. The crazy engineer is always cracking jokes and pulling pranks in the transporter room. Montgomery Scott loves a good drink, a good laugh, a good time. Jim thinks he must’ve been the class clown growing up, because Scotty’s humor isn’t black and sarcastic. It’s goofy. It brings a smile to your face by the sheer silliness of it. Really, would anyone else think of trying to beam Admiral Archer’s prize beagle?
They rely on Scotty to make them laugh, and most of the time he delivers. He delivers spectacularly, sometimes to the great annoyance of Nyota. Scotty pours heart and soul into the warp engines, and he’s equally enthusiastic about bringing a reluctant smile to your face. It’s just who he is. It’s not an act or a show, but spills over from the overabundance of laughter he carries inside himself. Scotty likes to claim that it’s a consequence of being raised in the grey mist and rain of his homeland. Some months it feels the dreariness of the weather will never end, so you have to bring your own vitamin D to the table.
Jim should’ve remembered what they say about clowns, though. Because since the death of Spock, Scotty still makes them smile, but laughter is a little harder to produce.
They all mourn in their different ways.
He can see more clearly the toll it’s taking on the relationship Scotty has with Nyota. They love each other, Jim has no doubt about that. But something is broken inside Nyota that Scotty can’t fix, no matter how much he might want to. He loves to see her smile, he loves to hear her laugh and there are days when she does both. There’s more sadness than joy, though. And Scotty doesn’t know what to do except to hold her when she starts crying.
Jim can also see that Nyota knows this. She’s glad she has Scotty who’ll love her and let her lean on him, but she doesn’t want to dump all these wet emotions on him. A relationship is about interdependence, yes, but there’s a balance there and they’re both struggling to find it.
It took him and Spock a while to find it too. What they discovered was mostly that the balance constantly shifts. Sometimes he leans on Spock really hard, demands everything from him. Other times, he was there to give Spock whatever he needed. It took them a while to even admit that they needed anything emotionally from each other at all, but they got there. Scotty and Nyota are getting there. Jim feels envy course through him, watching them take solace in each other. He feels hurt and abandonment and betrayal that he’s not doing that same balancing act with Spock anymore. They were a team, a partnership in every sense of the world.
Now Jim’s alone.
Between Nyota and keeping the engines in shape and making the crew smile, Jim had forgotten that Scotty was friends with Spock too. The professional respect that the two men had for each other, the bond created by serving under a captain whose demands were oftentimes entirely unreasonable and too often physically impossible. They were colleagues. They both loved the same woman, they both would die for her.
So it comes as a surprise when he finds the engineer drunk off his rocker, roaring some Italian song in a thick Scottish accent. When he comms for Nyota and Bones, Sulu, Pavel, and Chris come too.
They all rely on each other for different things.
Jim and Sulu help Scotty to his feet, Chris hurries back to Sickbay to prep a biobed, Pavel hovers nearby, Bones scans Scotty with a tricorder. Nyota holds Scotty’s hand, touches his face in an intimate gesture that makes Jim’s heart skip a beat.
Before she takes the bottle from Scotty’s hand, he holds out the scotch in a sloppy toast and says, “to you, Mr. Spock! May you have a long and happy life.” Then takes a swig.
Those were the words he said at the reception on the ship, after Jim and Spock were bonded. Wed.
Then Nyota eases the bottle from his hand and Jim and Sulu are off, stumbling to Sickbay with Bones giving them unnecessary orders to keep Scotty steady. Chris has everything ready. They all hang around Sickbay for a while. Sulu offers to cover Nyota’s shift and she nods gratefully, Pavel says he’ll let the engineers know. Scotty lies on the biobed, sleeping. Bones says he’ll be fine and goes off to prep some hangover remedy. Then, they leave. Nyota stays by Scotty’s side. Jim stays long enough to see her climb into the biobed with Scotty.
Christine draws a curtain around them.
In death, Jim discovers exactly the intricate ties that bind them all.
--
Recitar! Mentre preso dal delirio,
non so più quel che dico,
e quel che faccio!
Eppur è d'uopo, sforzati!
Bah! sei tu forse un uom?
Tu se' Pagliaccio!
Vesti la giubba,
e la faccia infarina.
La gente paga, e rider vuole qua.
E se Arlecchin t'invola Colombina,
ridi, Pagliaccio, e ognun applaudirà!
Tramuta in lazzi lo spasmo ed il pianto
in una smorfia il singhiozzo e 'l dolor, Ah!
Ridi, Pagliaccio,
sul tuo amore infranto!
Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
-“Vesti La Giubba” from Pagliacci