Fic: The Odyssey, xxii. tantalos

Jul 18, 2013 23:37

--

“I am Bruk (Qel Vakghaldr) of Qo’NoS;
I was imprisoned (directed) tlanthla’LoS.
I strive all my life to serve the glorious
empire of our great tovarIs mNoS,
who metes out his justice (judgment)
with a cool, steely fist (steely fist)
and guards (watches) Fatherland,
wheels grinding the grist (desist desist).

“I am Qel-- Bruk-- Qel-- Bruk (Vakghaldr);
I was tor-- dir-- tor-- dir tortured on tlanthla’LoS.
I strove-- strive-- strove-- to-- serve
our great Qo’NoS
I invented the mind-- mind-- mind-- mental (broke),
who metes out his justice with a cool, steely fist;
I invented the mind-- mind-- mind-sifter (broken)
and guards the Fatherland wheels grinding the grist.

“I am Qel Vak (ghaldr) of tlanthla’LoS;
I directed, invented, and researched
the mind-- mind-ripper on tlanthla’LoS.
I was desist (denounced) by tovarIs,
imprisoned and tortured with my own device.
I cannot-- can’t-- will not-- remember
my name, face, family, past or the glare
of the words that I speak as you sit in the chair.

“Our great tovarIs aQam has rightly denounced you;
your memories we can all see while you stare
into the rays of the brain neutralizer.
It seems five years ago you spoke to B’vare,
who has been tried and denounced as a traitor
to our great Fatherland and tovarIs mNoS.
And three years ago you had contact with lhatIr,
who fled his ship and high command post
to defect to the Orion slut slaves like a dead ghost.

“And is it not true that your mother and father
were Qel kind as well of intelligentsia class?
That they did nothing to advance our great cause of
spreading great tlhIngan honor unto the great mass;
clearly they were the worst kind of roaches,
and you are no better than they are, of course.
each moment of life marks you as filthy traitor
to hide amidst honorable tlhIngan warriors.
You once watched this prison: now, you are prisoner!

“I am Bruk (tired) of tlanthla’LoS (sorrow);
they decided not to grant me mercy
of wiping my identity, crimes, and my conscious,
for why should a traitor be punished easily?
No-- it is worse-- I always strain to remember
my name, my life, my friends, my past;
sometimes it comes but then I surrender
to excruciating pain that through my mind casts
a net of forgetting, but not quite forgotten.
Then I struggle again to regain what I lost,
forgetting that each time this plan misbegotten
leads to clear memory and instantaneous loss.
I strive all my life to serve the glorious
empire of great tovarIs mNoS
I am not a traitor, I am forgotten,
erased from the records, off the list crossed.
I say this to you that you might remember
for in a few moments I will soon forget
your names, your faces, and the sweet scent you brought with
your bodies of freedom, expression, of lethe;
the pain, the pain, the agony breaking.
please do not leave, let your scents remain;
please help me help me help me screaming.
I won’t let you-- I won’t-- you can’t take it away!

“Who am-- what are-- who are-- when
why am I-- what are you-- you’re not tlhIngan ken--
You’re Terran! And Vulcan! Alert the warbirds!
We have enemies in our midst! We have invading hordes!”

Spock quickly nerve-pinched him
and touched his sad face;
he felt the wrecked damage
of this thlIngan mindspace
he did not have time
to heal all the raw wounding,
to make him remember,
or make him forget,
but he could leave
an impression resounding:
the scent of their bodies,
which had so impressed
Qel Vakghaldr, scientist of tlhIngan,
denounced and exiled,
betrayed to lethe,
who had the misfortune
of using, inventing
a terrible machine
and was in his turn, a victim of it.

--

Dagger of the Mind

the odyssey, fanfiction

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