(Untitled)

[anonfeedback]

☃ ❄ END OF YEAR FEEDBACK MEME ❄ ☃
adapted from here.
Time to spread some holiday cheer in the form of feedback for authors!

Writers: Leave a comment with your username or writing journal. You must be logged in. All usernames posted by anonymous users will be deleted. Be prepared to handle crit!

Commenters: anonymously or unanonymously reply to

Comments

[seisdemayo]

seisdemayo | masterlist

[seisdemayo]

I make this comment with a lot of thought because I really do respect your work and some of your stories hold a place dear in my heart.

I would like to start my mentioning that I have not read everything you've written, not by any means, but I have in fact read more than half. I love your ideas, and I love that you do genres that are a little more out of the box. Your stories make me think.

Nonetheless I think you could also go further with them. As much as I love your ideas, I can always guess the resolution, almost, but not quite, cliche. There's a certain lack of suspense at key moments in your writing, and I think the reader has to assume quite a bit about the characters as plots progress. Sometimes I feel as if I need a little bit more, or my mind needs to work a little bit harder to be completely satisfied.

It may just be with your older works, since those are the ones I have read, but sometimes I need to reread sentences because the tenses change, or because the tone switches.

[seisdemayo]

first of all, i want to thank you so much for doing this ♥

when i first started writing, i really have no background on how to write professionally (if that even exists). and i just know the problem with the change in tenses/tone in my writing. it is indeed my weakness. i've been wanting to learn how to keep writing in the present tense, tbh! lol but it keeps getting mixed up with the past tense so i'm really trying my best, until now, to improve my writing in this aspect. i will try harder so one day you (& everyone else? haha) can say i've changed into a better writer one day. haha

[seisdemayo]

you're one of my favorite sekai writers. ♥ i like all your plots; i find them very unique and you're great at writing cliffhangers.

but i find your 'suspense' ...i'm not sure...'lacking' in a way. when i read 'cold' (it was good) i had a pokerface on when you described how the members looked when they were dead. it was quite boring to me. maybe a bit more description would do?

however, i love your writing style, it's very simple to follow and i don't have to go to dictionary.com for every few words, hahas. keep it up ♥

[seisdemayo]

thank you so much! tbh i'm trying to work on avoiding cliffhangers for the meantime because sometimes i think they're too much? but i'm really glad you find it good.

this time i'll try to focus on keeping the suspense intense? more description seems like the best advice as of now. i'll keep that in mind ♥ and thank you for taking the time to leave this wonderful comment :)