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[anonoymah]

FYI, I have a rough draft of my dystopian novel in my writing journal. There are still some gaps, filled with summary, but anyone who has friended my writing journal, I'd appreciate if you'd go over and give me your opinion, thanks. Like, how to describe a zipper from the perspective of someone who has never seen a zipper, that's very important

Comments

[whitemilk]

I read it, but I feel so far removed from my days of literary analysis that I'm sure what I really think or that my opinions would even be useful or valid. If something really brilliant comes to mind, I'll let you know, but it looks like a good start. ;)

[anonoymah]

Perhaps if I tell you some of what I’m going for that I don’t think I’ve achieved, you could tell me what is missing…I have a recurring motif of wind, “the winds of change.” I only really use it about 3 times but it needs to run throughout the book. I also want to imply that the reason everything in the prison is white is to show hospital-like sterility, a metaphor for falsehood disguised as truth, and also to make everything impersonal. In a culture where the color of your clothes indicates your social status, pure white clothes are a stripping of identity. I need to show the color of clothes of each caste, those being, women (probably a separate color for mothers), berdaches, men. I have Rachel in a Virtual Reality suit that is black, I need to make that white, but I also need to reader to understand she is in a virtual reality suit. The whole thing does not create a time scale at all. I need more scenes to show Rachel’s developing relationship with Jacob and with her roommate, and I also need to show her more distant