I'm just saying that we should be grateful that she lived a good life and that she's no longer in pain.
God. Does that make me sound heartless? Like, should I be going more apeshit right now? Maybe I'm just a cold, heartless bitch or something.
No, I don't think you sound heartless. I think that's really a mature way of accepting loss: by focusing on the positive aspect of it. Not many can do it. Many will confuse the usage of 'denial' to mask the feeling of lost.
That certainly does not make you heartless, I think that after all of the wonderful things you did for your grandmother you cannot even think for a moment that you are without a heart.
I agree with you that you should be happy she lived a great life, and that you were a good granddaughter to her.
I don't think it sounds heartless at all - pretty much everyone I know who has lost someone to illness has felt torn afterwards at being sad for the loss but also relieved and even happy that the person is not suffering anymore. Then guilty for that sense of relief. I get why it might seem not right to think about things that way, but I think it's good.
I actually think it's pretty wonderful that you're thinking of your grandmother and being grateful for her life, which is so not heartless. I know all I'd think of is how it made me feel, right then.
Re an obsession with death - I think if you talked about any other topic the way you talk about death, people wouldn't consider it an obsession. It's a hard thing to think and talk about, so I think it freaks people out to hear from people who acknowledge it in a way other than "I don't want to.."
I think you're dealing with it realistically. Wailing and being dramatic would only serve to prove to others that you're greatly affected. This way it's more private and meaningful.
My Condolences too
anonymous
December 27 2005, 13:59:09 UTC
Hi, got the link from the other Anonymous_X blog. Anyway wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have lost my grandpa and two favourite cousins one after another within a matter of three years
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Comments 5
God. Does that make me sound heartless? Like, should I be going more apeshit right now? Maybe I'm just a cold, heartless bitch or something.
No, I don't think you sound heartless. I think that's really a mature way of accepting loss: by focusing on the positive aspect of it. Not many can do it. Many will confuse the usage of 'denial' to mask the feeling of lost.
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I agree with you that you should be happy she lived a great life, and that you were a good granddaughter to her.
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I actually think it's pretty wonderful that you're thinking of your grandmother and being grateful for her life, which is so not heartless. I know all I'd think of is how it made me feel, right then.
Re an obsession with death - I think if you talked about any other topic the way you talk about death, people wouldn't consider it an obsession. It's a hard thing to think and talk about, so I think it freaks people out to hear from people who acknowledge it in a way other than "I don't want to.."
Anyway, thinking of you.
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I'm sure you'll do the eulogy justice.
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