Nexus 100
080. Why?
It certainly wasn't the first time he'd found himself awake in the middle of the night without knowing why, but it was the first time in several weeks. With a soft sigh, he looked over to see Tatijana still asleep. He got up quietly, pushing his hair back out of his face as he walked to the large window. Carrier was in Earth orbit this evening, and though they were facing away from the sun, millions of stars glowed in the void.
For a moment, he could almost make himself believe they were back on Skywatch. That a future still lay before them, unmarred by anger, secrets, and war. He could almost believe they weren't just trying to pick up the pieces. Somewhere, far out there, there was a planet he was inextricable tied to. A place he'd never seen.
"Nikolas?"
He glanced over his shoulder, saw Tatijana sitting up in bed. "Tanya, go back to sleep."
She ignored him, getting up and walking over to where he stood. "I've told you a million times not to call me that."
"I know." He reached out and brushed her face lightly with his fingertips. "Go back to sleep. I'm fine."
"You must not be, or you wouldn't be insisting on it. What are you doing?"
"I don't know." He shrugged and turned back to the window. "Just watching, I suppose."
He heard her sigh, and her arms slid around his waist from behind. Her face was warm where it pressed into his shoulder blade. "The stars aren't going to change, Nikolas. They'll still be there in the morning."
Such a simple statement. But he'd believed in the immutability of things before, and he'd been proven wrong. He didn't reply for a long moment, simply covered her hand with his own. "Tell me you're not doing this because you think it's what I need," he said finally.
"I'm not."
"Why then?"
"It's not important right now." She pulled away, but took hold of his hand. "Come back to bed."