The clouds hand solid in the sky like puffy white mountains that defy direction and gravity. Boston isn't always so bad.

Perhaps what has been is and always will be.

Perhaps we are all different parts of the same whole.

Perhaps eternity is all just a moment and the universe just a speck - special relativity would have us see that from near light speed reference frames it scientifically is so.

Perhaps time will tell.
Perhaps it already has.

I can now hardly believe that such a time ever existed. It's all become as a dream but at the same time it's as if it were just yesterday, just behind some invisible curtain somewhere just waiting to be found again. How did I ever lose my way so severely?

information flows like water...

I feel very fake these days. How odd.

A piece of advice my uncle gave me:

People don't change. Never think that they will or, heavens forbid, that you can change them.

It's basically true although there are some minor exceptions.

On an unrelated note, the more sober I become the less sane I am.

Riding chairs down the ramp from Snell. Watching the sun rise on rooftops with friends. Discussions long into the night. Music. Gaiety. Misery. Where did it all go?

This place sucks. I'd do just about anything to rewind back to the Clarkson School days and figure out how to keep that and make it stay.

I feel betrayed by everyone and like I've betrayed everyone. I hate myself. I hope I die.

My universal truth allows for many contradictory truths to exist within it.

Just before waking this morning I had a dream that rather creeped me out. I will post a description of it here.

In this dream I was a detective who had been working feverishly on a serial murder case for some time and even when the department told me to give up I could not. I was in the grip of an obsession. This continued until one night (when I ( Read more... )